A man by nature strives to become the head of the family. But not all wives give this opportunity to their husbands.

What Not to Do for a Wife

Unfortunately, in recent times wives are increasingly taking on more and more responsibilities in financial plan and in everyday life, and on their own initiative. Then these women complain that everything rests on their shoulders. Husbands are often reproached for this.

Dear ladies should be active only in the field of their activities. A woman is responsible for the emotional mood in the family, but too much initiative can lead to a disastrous effect. rare man like it when they decide for him - where to go to work, what hobby to choose, with whom of his acquaintances to communicate?

Powerful women at risk

Most men do not tolerate pressure. It is the unwillingness to be a puppet in the hands of a woman or a henpecked man that causes gender in the family. If a woman does not show flexibility and does not change tactics, she will face a violent coup by a man.

With accuracy, we can say that from unbalanced, psychopathic personalities. It's in the early years married life a man turns on from temperamental showdowns, from the whistle of flying dishes over his head, from unfounded accusations against innocent communication with a pretty neighbor.

If a wife has a strong temper, constantly throws tantrums, year after year it is more and more difficult for a man to get along with such a person. After all, constantly making excuses and holding the defense is a very tiring task! And now the beloved husband begins to wonder - did he make a mistake by choosing such a woman as his life partner?

Decreased sexual interest

Husbands break off relationships when a woman stops taking care of herself. It concerns appearance, for example: constant dull home clothes, boring ponytail on the head. The ridiculous behavior of his wife begins to annoy, her manner of expressing herself in everyday life and intimate setting. Of course, no normal man will immediately run to get a divorce because of this.

But the first bell will ring when the wife realizes that she is not interested in her husband as a woman. And disharmony and discord in the emotional and sexual life- this is an occasion for a man to turn his attention to other women in his field of vision.

Oddly enough, strong representatives of the sex are also leaving those women whose earnings are much more than their own. Self-loving strong men begin to feel next to such a wife unnecessary, inferior. Remember the movie "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears"?

Gosha, aka Goga, at first could not come to terms with the position of his woman. He just retired and went on a binge. But the point, of course, is not only that the wife brings more money into the house than the husband. Her worldview, character is changing, a manner of looking down on her husband appears.

Leaving the unloved

What kind of wives do husbands leave? With a slight irony, one can give an answer: from the rich, unsympathetic, unlucky, from bitchy, gray, bright beauties and quiet. From different. But more often husbands leave unloved wives!

When love disappears, all feminine virtues disappear. In this case, a man himself cannot explain what annoys him so much in family life. After all, at first glance, everything is not so bad.

A woman should compete with a man in only one thing: to maintain the family fire of love. Slowly flaring up, cozy, it makes all the unsightly roughness of female nature fade and forgive women's emotional outbursts. It is unlikely that a woman in such an environment will think about her husband leaving her.

It seems that nothing foreshadowed trouble: your marriage seemed quite happy. But the irreparable happened, and you are already crying alone, not understanding why the man leaves the family, so beloved and seemingly reliable. Is it worth it to blame yourself for what happened or take comfort in the thought that “all men are goats”? Should I try to get him back or settle down and try my luck with someone else?

When a parent dies, the child experiences deep sadness and loss of affection when his father leaves the family, becomes upset and is indicted. I probably did something wrong since my dad doesn't love me and doesn't live with me anymore. He begins to feel that he is worse than him because he does not deserve his father's love. It becomes destructive for him.

Such a child is deprived of the basis of his personality - something very basic. This is a deep need - they want to know who their second parent is. Therefore, if a child is deprived of his father, this is not only the source of his human identity, but also the source of love. Fatherless daughters often make early sexual encounters, have illegitimate children and divorce, if at all possible, marry. Looking for what she didn't get from her father.

Myths about why men leave the family

First, let's dispel your possible misconceptions why a man leaves his family, where he is so loved. These reasons can be imposed on you by women's magazines or your own girlfriends.

• Myth 1

He left to get his freedom. You would like to think that he left because family life limited him in what he could enjoy before marriage: in unrestrained drinking parties with friends, in close communication with other women, in the absence of children constantly demanding attention. However, this is not entirely true: men will never go “nowhere”. Most likely, he has a “spare front” in the form of a woman who understands him much better than you.

And how does the absence of a father affect the boys? Could this phenomenon be related to homosexuality? This is so widely considered by the scientific community. No one can tell without risking a violent attack. The father is the most important person who helps the son understand this. If he is absent, the boy looks for answers to this question elsewhere - in the peer group and in all other places it often happens badly. Then he can absorb what today is perceived as a stereotype of masculinity.

On the contrary, the father, following his own example, can convey to him the idea that to be strong man means to care for and protect the weak, taking into account the needs of others and treating them with respect. In your book, you refer to the research of the Polish anthropologist Bronisław Malinowski on fatherhood as a factor in the formation of human civilization.

• Myth 2

• Myth 3

After your breakup, your husband becomes a desirable "prey" for girls with matrimonial plans. You think that as soon as you get a divorce, women will attack you, wanting to tie him up as soon as possible. It is quite possible that it will be so, but it is unlikely that a man who has just ended a serious relationship will rush to tie the knot again.

Malinowski made a great discovery, which he called the principle of legitimacy. A common feature of cultures is the desire of society to allow parents to recognize their own offspring. The father recognizes his child and is obliged to help the mother in his care and upbringing.

This not only guarantees the biological survival of the offspring, but also ensures that the child becomes a person with a special character - it prepares them for life. Don't moms teach kids how to live? Mothers and fathers complement each other. When they work together as a team, the child gets everything he needs. However, if one parent is missing, the child loses.

Try to disengage from such thoughts and look at the situation more soberly.

Why did he leave? Real reasons.

And now let's talk about why men leave the family in reality. Let's look at the situation from their point of view.

For most divorces, there is a lot of conflict, bitterness and betrayal, recrimination, inability to cooperate, remarry, or leave one parent to the other. All this destroys the psyche of the child. He feels abandoned and betrayed.

Children often have problems with school, drugs, drugs, gangs or cults, or other problems. If the father lives in the house but does not have a close relationship with his child, he does not pay attention and does not show love, the psychological consequences for the child are as bad as when the father leaves home.

You stopped being interesting to him

Perhaps sexually, perhaps as an interlocutor. The rule that a woman should be “slightly smarter than a monkey” does not work in serious, and even more so in marital relationships. You have to be smart enough, but not smarter than him. And also important sexual compatibility, without harmonious "bed" relationships, marriage will collapse even faster.

One thing we can predict when boys are born is that they will make babies. But how they behave after the birth of a child is more a result of culture and depends primarily on how society tells them what it means to be a man and a father. When society gives the signal: we don't care what you do with the kids, most mothers stay, but many fathers leave.

If we, as a society, would not agree with the absence of fathers, our attitude towards divorce or the decision of children by single mothers would be different. This has changed a little, because with the advent of the next generation, people are increasingly aware of the detrimental consequences of the absence of fathers - both for society and for the individual. This direction is determined by popular culture.

Character incompatibility

“We didn’t get along” is the most common reason given in divorce applications. Differences in temperament, in attitude to life, in habits: all this inevitably leads to a break.

Your intemperance

Don't confuse intemperance with unpredictability. If you were often unable to remain silent and fiercely defended your point of view, you could shout at him for nothing, vent your bad mood on him, then do not be surprised why your man left the family.

The whole idea is based on violence, predation and rivalry. Young boys are not taught in the home, environment, religion, that this notion of masculinity is false. What has made this image of a "real person" today? The rich turn their faith in God and moral values ​​into money in faith.

We have more and more personal freedoms, philosophies that do not give importance to family obligations, we are becoming an increasingly individualistic society. Nobody wants to sacrifice others? Not for any moral idea more important than their own self. He said: Well, we really don't know much, because most of them are quite young, they don't take care of themselves, they don't eat right, they don't have close and warm contacts, so this is not a wise people's strategy, even if they show off many victims Unfortunately, for many of them, this is the only way to prove that they are men, because they are no longer taught.

In the past, your behavior was quite "easy"

Only men are forgiven for the frequent change of partners and "mistakes of youth." Women's behavior of this kind is condemned by society. And for men, public opinion is incredibly important, although they will never admit it. So it's quite possible that after learning about your turbulent premarital life, he will leave.

Why do men need so much to prove their masculinity? For a man, this is very embarrassing and makes him anxious about his sexual identity. This uncertainty requires continuous "checking". Unfortunately, many boys receive the message from society, and often from their fathers, that wife beating proves its power. Violence is attractive to men because they are naturally prone to aggression. Therefore, if society does not support the desired image of a man and a father, then only this primitive side of male identity develops.

You dump all your problems on him

Of course, a husband should support you in difficult situations. But if all your communication comes down to your constant complaints and whining, then sooner or later he will get bored with it.

You "launched" yourself

It is always necessary that the social message is that selfishness, lack of responsibility and violence is not The right way expressions of courage. The point is that we must teach them to understand themselves and allow some of the male nature to pierce the surface. Therefore, if we want boys to grow up to be good husbands and good fathers, we must pay more attention to their education.

Today we have stopped educating boys, we are teaching them the opposite, in addition to being flirtatious. The assumption that a person who is lucky enough to get everything he wants is happy is simply not true. We must definitely return to teaching boys how to behave in a civilized and responsible manner. It's hard to understand the reasons why women stay with violent people.

Do not think that it was enough to like him at the very beginning of your relationship. Do you think that if he fell in love with you when you were a slender and well-groomed beauty, he will not stop loving you, even if your weight approaches the figure "100", and the set of clothes is limited to shapeless mantles? Get further confused. Until the moment he leaves you for a seductive young lady who does not hesitate to visit the gym and beauty salons.

And yet, many women do not come from "such types", although acts of violence are repeated and intensified. Violence is not only a serious physical injury, a rescue expedition, it also alienates family and friends, lives in perpetual fear, bullying children, gaining the right to a decent life, repeated police calls, death threats.

This could be the way to live a safe life

Women are considered plaintiffs for many reasons. There are several categories of female victims who have many general characteristics. The natural desire of most people is to establish close and safe relationship with your partner. Security in a dangerous relationship does not mean physical or emotional satisfaction. Security means living in well-known conditions. At first glance, it seems easier to accept this known evil than good, which is vague and alien.

You are wasteful

Of course, a man is the financial backbone of the family. But, giving you a salary, he expects that you will competently manage the money, and will not waste it on any nonsense.

No matter how much you would like to admit it, you will have to come to terms with the fact that in most cases a man leaves a family, the woman is to blame. Therefore, start looking for reasons in yourself, and do not blame him, such a scoundrel who left you to the mercy of fate.

There are women who often marry alcoholics. During a therapy session, we analyzed the life of one patient. She has been married seven times, each time an alcoholic. Throughout her life, she had only once been involved with a person who was not an alcoholic. She admitted that she really feels great in her company, but his wife was not there.

She grew up in an alcoholic family. From her mother, she learned to be a good alcoholic wife. She could only live in a pathological family. Why do such women worry about another life? Let's take an example: your space is occupied by a spaceship from which funny green people come out. You will scare them despite the assurances that they are friendly creatures. What will you do if they bring you life on a planet free from suffering? Will you leave everything and leave?

What does a woman need to be happy? So that she had a beloved man who would reciprocate her. And also family, children, sincere and confidence in the future. In our youth, we all dream of a man who is impeccable in all respects, and then we marry his complete opposite. Real life is far from your dreams and often surprises us.

Probably not, because you don't know if you can trust them, you don't know what you can expect. You'll be here where you are, with creditors knocking on the door, leaking roofs, mothers-in-law, unemployed people you're fighting, daughters in prostitution, and sons in jail.

It seems clear that a woman who is bitter, who must hide her bruises with heavy make-up, who sporadically uses accidental medical attention, knows that she is a victim of domestic violence. She seemed to be surprised: why? After all, this is a place for victims of domestic violence. Women who activate the "denial mechanism" are quite common. They do not call themselves "victims of violence". They may have their husbands' friends beaten and tortured. They understand that these women are victims, but they do not accept themselves despite repeated violent acts.

As long as there are men and women, the topic of jealousy and betrayal will remain relevant. Let's understand what pushes men to such actions, since it is the husband's infidelity that is the reason why women turn to me for individual advice.

Why do they change? With all the outward frivolity, many men strive for a constant and reliable, kind and affectionate, loving and caring woman. They are only in the words "would come down from the mountains and slowly ... the whole herd." Majority normal men strive for the stability and reliability of their family. But there are also punctures. Why?

There are women who have never experienced peace and happiness. They don't know it's possible. Women who stay in abusive relationships may think they don't deserve love or happiness. They are convinced that they are rightfully experiencing violence, not love.

Violence is not just beating, but also humiliating and humiliating. Everyone knows you're crazy. You are very lucky to be with you. In women who are insecure, who doubt their ability, such disparaging remarks can deepen an incorrect, unfair self-assessment. They can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Women agree to everything because they no longer count on anything else.

Each of you, first of all, is interested in why my husband is cheating, while a neighbor and a friend's husband are faithful to their wives? If my husband has not cheated on me so far, what could be the potential cause, and how to prevent it? Can adultery be avoided? How to treat them?

Reasons for cheating

Cheating is usually caused by some unmet need.

It's a "nobody loves me" attitude, deepened by low self-esteem and intense guilt. Some women accuse themselves of violence. They are convinced that they did something that caused aggression in their partners. They believe that the beating was a fair and just punishment.

Sometimes the tormentors try to completely subjugate the victim, completely controlling her. The film A Dream with an Enemy shows this type of criminal: if the wife hangs with a towel or puts the cans differently than he wanted, she met her punishment - the man hit hard for some mistake. In this category, you can also include performers who are obsessed with jealousy. They are convinced that their wives are still cheating and betraying them. They leave them alone at home, without contact with family or friends. They demand that they only care about their own needs and needs.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Due to the difference in temperaments of the spouses. This brings discord into the everyday relations of the spouses, there is irritation on both sides. In such families, husbands often begin to drink, lose interest in family affairs, begin to look for a more attractive mistress, and may even file for divorce.

sex athletes

There are not many of them, but they are there and come across to unfortunate women. They vitally need regular "victories" over members of the opposite sex. They cannot be condemned, for the reason for their behavior is their nature. The life of such people takes place in bars and discos, where you can find a partner for the night. characteristic feature these people is a frequent change of partners.

Romance

There is a group of men who seek to experience additional pleasure. Spend an evening with friends, girlfriends, have fun, and if you're lucky, get something new. Looking closely at slender legs, new tights, catching the mysterious smells of skin and hair, listening to sensual conversations - this is what attracts such men.

Coincidence

Some men cheat because of a random set of circumstances. However, so are women. The same notorious business trip or vacation in Sochi for 3 nights. I don't recommend telling your spouse about cheating. Why tell him about something that had no consequences? If you love your husband, then you should not talk about it, so as not to hurt him. It is impossible to hide only what cannot be hidden, and which, in the end, can harm the family. Your pregnancy is from someone else, you fell out of love with your husband, but you are afraid to admit it, etc. But from a one-time recognition, unpleasant consequences can arise: scandal, jealousy, divorce, or worse. Do you need it?

General Marriage Fatigue

If a marriage is built on stereotypical relationships, fatigue sets in and you want to go left. Spouses do not see a light in life. Gray everyday life does not brighten up anything. The scheme "home - work - home" is not broken, and this is gradually transferred to sexual relations. Sex turns into boredom and also proceeds according to the scheme: short foreplay - orgasm - sleep. And if you are sometimes unable to change the conditions of life, place of work, profession, then you can change the conditions of your sexual life without much difficulty.

Fanaticism

It happens that extramarital affairs are entered out of a sense of respect, admiration, even fanaticism. For example, girls who are fans of pop artists.

office romances

Relationship patterns can be very diverse. Some of them take on the character of explicit coercion.

Search for an eternal ideal

A man outside the family is looking for what he does not get in the house. A woman also looks for her ideal in her lover, which consists not in the length and thickness of the male organ, but in a thousand little things that are sometimes simply incomprehensible to outsiders. "There's nothing in it!" What did he see in her? This is often heard.

Sex in friendships

It often happens along the way. Friends of the opposite sex, often communicating with each other, begin to cross the boundaries that were originally established in communication between strangers. The scheme of development of relations looks like this. Family couples are friends. They often communicate. After a while, someone begins to realize that he loves or simply "wants" another. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes it happens after a long time. And their life is filled with new secret joys.

Cheating as revenge

Women are often forced into extramarital affairs by revenge for infidelity or a bad attitude towards her husband. From the moment of her husband's infidelity, a woman has the moral right to respond in kind. And a woman is driven by pain, from which she hopes to be freed through revenge. But, as a rule, this revenge leads women to an even greater impasse.

Emotional alienation of spouses

Often, adultery occurs when family relationships resemble the Ice Palace. In this realm of eternal ice, they never swear, walls do not melt from the heat of passions. The limits of decency are respected. Guests do not go to the sad palace. Sex happens only according to plan and strictly at the time allotted for this. An emotional wife will silently hate a reserved, unflappable husband.

Making money

There are many women (and more recently, quite a few men) for whom extramarital sex is a way to make money. Married professional prostitutes have sex for money. There are wives who only earn extra money with this, receiving money or expensive gifts. The family does not know about additional earnings. Among these women there are very educated, with advanced degrees. Outwardly, these are attractive, fit, well-groomed women.

Cheating caused by love can probably be justified. If we are talking about love, not love. Sex in this case is, as it were, a self-evident detail in the complex mechanism of human relationships built on love.

It happens!

Real Case:

One man, leaving his wife to live with his mistress, said: “Look, don’t walk here without me ... I will most likely be back soon.”

It is very difficult to be a happy woman, but it is necessary, because they return to such women, they are loved, they are serenaded and given the moon.

Svetlana Melnikova

Greetings, dear readers!

This article is about the issue why do husbands leave their wives? In our time, marriage has depreciated. Men without a twinge of conscience leave their wives and children, and women do not consider it necessary to maintain relationships that have undergone the slightest test.

People have ceased to believe in values, they lie, dodge the answer, they are afraid to take responsibility for another person. Why do men decide to break up long term relationship? This is what we have to figure out.

See also How to improve family relations with your husband - unfortunately, a topical issue for huge number women. In a society far from traditional family values, where the wife is the keeper of the hearth, and the husband is the breadwinner, protector and master, disagreements within married couples are inevitable.

• Women are sure that the other is to blame for the breakup.

The statistics say otherwise. Of course, such cases are not uncommon. If a man decided to take such a serious step and went to another woman, then it is not possible to return the previous relationship.

The period when a spouse leaves, especially after many years of marriage, is the most difficult for women. Do not get hung up on what happened, perhaps fate has prepared a gift for you, the main thing is not to miss it.

A wife who finds out that her husband has a mistress must understand that this affair does not mean anything to him. Otherwise, he would have left the family long ago. It remains to be decided whether you can forgive him betrayal and how to live with this knowledge?

• Husbands often leave their wives when they realize that their aspirations do not match.

They did not agree on the characters, so many ladies justify parting with a loved one. Different tempers- this is the tip of the iceberg, the woman’s habits, her temperament, and lack of mutual respect affect the husband’s departure from the family. Does it make sense to hold on to such relationships, which bring nothing but hassle?

• A man leaves his wife if he loses interest in her.

A limited woman is not able to keep up the conversation, she is able to attract attention, but cannot keep it for a long time. Men love smart, wise, self-respecting women. Often wives, under the influence of problems, circumstances, stop caring for themselves.

Daily worries deprive them of time that can be spent on themselves. Never put your spouse's needs ahead of your own. Believe me, a man will not appreciate it. Take care of your appearance, do manicures and pedicures, do not go home in worn-out slippers and an untidy bathrobe. Remember, men love with their eyes.

• The heavy atmosphere in the house is the reason for the departure of a man from a woman.

Many couples are so immersed in problems that they stop enjoying life, smiling at each other, admiring and complimenting. Life undermines even the strongest relationships. It is important that a woman stays in good mood, because the weather in the house depends on her mood.

• It happens that two people feel alienated from each other.

Irritation, scandals and quarrels about and without it settle in the house. In this case, you will have to make compromises, find out the cause of the partner's irritability, talk heart to heart without screaming and mutual accusations.

Whatever the reason for leaving the husband from the family, fight if you clearly understand that he is worth it. On the contrary, if you have doubts, it is better to leave it as it is, life itself will sort everything out. Sometimes, the departure of a man opens the door for a woman to a new, happier life.

Often, the breakup of a relationship provokes dissatisfaction of a sexual nature. It happens that it is difficult for a man to confess his desires. He is afraid that his wife will not support his fantasies.

It is difficult to hide true feelings, so many men turn to representatives of ancient professions for help or make mistresses who are ready to go to any experiments.

It also happens that husbands ask to come back, and at the most inopportune moment. There are reasons that push them to do so.

Habit is second nature. Even if the spouse left for another, he will involuntarily remember his first wife. Over time, all the bad things will be forgotten, only bright moments will remain in memory. Men who are prone to idealization will definitely remember how it all began, what difficulties they had to endure, what they achieved together. If life with a new wife turns out to be not as rosy as expected, a man may ask back, promising eternal love and fidelity.

As people get older, they tend to reassess their values. Endless family squabbles provoke active actions. Men pack their suitcases and poison themselves towards a new, happier life.

But, expectations are sometimes disappointing. At first, living with a mother is convenient, but an independent person is unlikely to be satisfied with permanent maternal care. We have to remember the values ​​again, returning to the beloved and not so harmful woman.

In some cases, husbands leave their wives for educational purposes. Thus, they are trying to convey their truth, to put in place, to make them worry. It is good when wives are condescending to such measures of influence. Sometimes, for a man, his own upbringing measures end unfavorably. He comes home, and no one is waiting for him there.

Women, as a rule, forgive their husbands and take them back, forgetting about pride and self-respect. Dear ladies, remember, it is much easier to prevent the departure of a loved one than to forgive an accomplished betrayal against you.

There are many tips on how to keep a loved one. But, it's easier than you think. Do not take out the negativity on your spouse, it is wiser to talk with him, talk about feelings and experiences.

Representatives of the strong half of humanity are not prone to excessive manifestation of feelings, but if there is an interesting interlocutor nearby in the person of his wife, why not talk? Do not forget to praise the man, surprise him. A man will see your efforts and begin to take the initiative.

A family just doesn't fall apart overnight. It doesn’t happen in life that “yesterday” everything was still good, they lived, they lived, they made good. And “today” the husband packed his things and left in an unknown (or, as often happens, in a known) direction. And if a woman claims that this is exactly what happened, then she is disingenuous (to put it mildly), simply not wanting to wash dirty linen in public.

A man just never leaves. Before deciding on such a serious step, he will weigh everything and think it over a thousand times. And if, nevertheless, he decides to leave, then really everything is “sick” and there are quite specific justified reasons for this.

A woman lives more with feelings than with her mind. She can’t pretend very much, and if she has cooled off towards a man, and especially if she has someone, then she makes a decision instantly, as she is used to living according to her feelings, listening more to her heart, and not to her mind. Just at one fine moment, she realizes that she can no longer and, most importantly, does not want to waste her life on this person. She was tired of him worse than a bitter radish with his “quirks” (drunkenness, partying), and she doesn’t want to see him anymore, not to hear him.

In a man, the mind almost always dominates the feelings. It is very rare to hear that “he lost his head from love”, basically this phrase is said about women. If a man decides to leave the family, then believe me - it's enough, it's impossible to endure anymore. A man is so arranged that he is quite satisfied with living a double life, having a wife and a mistress, in such a triple alliance he can live until one of the parties rebels. And even then, a man cannot immediately decide to break up with one of the women. He will pull to the last. And if the wife is smart, she will resolve the issue in her favor with her patience, tact, endurance and affection. But what forces (both moral and physical) will it cost?

So, in order to avoid such unpleasant situations in your life, you must initially not make mistakes and behave correctly. To do this, you need to know the four main reasons that can provoke a man to leave the family. The rest of the reasons are secondary. At least that's what psychologists say.

Reason #1: Loss of interest.

Here you must always remember - a man is a hunter - he came, he saw, he conquered. He has a conquering instinct, he has a goal to conquer a woman and subjugate her to himself. But what happens after a woman literally “dissolves” into a man, becomes a housewife? Understand, it is difficult to have respect for a person who is completely dependent on you. With all the fact that feelings fade away, and a woman ceases to be a mystery, this is inevitable. She becomes boring for him, not interesting, since her life is limited by four walls, constantly "Groundhog Day".

Add more here constant control and “pilezhka”, continuous criticism and orders in an orderly tone: “Wash your hands!”, “Take out the bucket!”, “Go get bread!”, “Don't throw socks!”. Teams are like in the army. And when you are commanded, what do you want to do? At least run away.

What to do? Do not become a general in your own house or a house slave, even when you are forced to stay at home on maternity leave. Do not focus only on homework, keep developing, pursue your career by communicating with your work colleagues, develop intellectually. Look after yourself, go to beauty salons, don't be a "real" housewife in a torn robe and a pair of curlers on your head. This is a stereotype, but it is up to you to dispel this image of a disheveled housewife.

Go out "in the light" without a husband, he should know that in addition to family life, you also have your own personal life. He must see and understand that the wife is interesting to people, especially to other men. Here again the male hunter, the male conqueror comes into play. He has to conquer you again.

Reason number 2. A man lacks love.

Surprised? And remember, please, when was the last time you told your loved one about your love? When did you just sit with your arms around each other and talk heart to heart? When was the last time you were at the cinema, in a cafe? Do something nice for your man. It is not difficult for you to do this at all, but he will be pleased.

But didn’t you say to your husband: “But Katya (Mani, Tanya) had her husband give her a fur coat, and they are going to the Emirates. Here's a good guy. You can't even buy me boots." After all, was it?

Never compare your husband to another man, never! It humiliates him as a man and kills his self-esteem. Such words, repeated several times, can finally convince a man of your indifference and push him to look for another woman who will appreciate and accept him for who he really is.

Reason number 3. The wife becomes a mother, and ceases to be a beloved woman.

There are two patterns of behavior for wives.

First: the role of mother hen. No wonder such a name, because the wife rushes with her adult husband like a chicken with an egg. She communicates with him as with a small child, trying to please in everything, protecting him from any troubles. And God forbid, someone will offend her "child"! She will come to his defense with her breasts.

Second: the role of a strict mother of a teenager. Nothing escapes her vigilant gaze, she scandalizes for any reason, monitors every step and requires a constant report not only in money, but also where she was, with whom, when you will be at home, etc.

When you meet such couples, you always feel sorry for the man. You think, well, how did you manage to marry such a madam? Where were your eyes before? Such relationships are more like dog training (sorry men!). But if it is possible and even necessary to train dogs, then training a man is useless and will not lead to anything good. If a man is weak, he will “bend” and endure this hell all his life, and at some point the woman herself will get bored with all this drill. And if a man is strong, brutal, then he will get tired of it very quickly and he will fade from such a cerberus, only his heels will sparkle.

Reason number 4. Scandals will bring you to divorce.

Do not feed some women with bread - let them scandalize. As a rule, a scandal begins with some trifle. Without receiving any violent reaction in return, the scandal then escalates and ends in a storm. Moreover, SHE is the director, screenwriter and performer of the main role. It really is a storm in a teacup. And the more such storms happen in the house, the more likely it can be said that a man will not last long - he will leave.

Here you need to understand the psychology of men. Men by nature don't like scandals (I'm talking about real men). This constant "pilezhka" brings them out of balance. He wants to come to "his safe harbor" so that there is complete calm, and not a storm of 12 points. To avoid scandals, a man will first come home later, lingering at work or with friends. This is the first call. If you pass him by, after some time he will not come home for the night, having come up with something "smart". This is the second call. If you miss him too, then there will be no third call - he will pack his things and leave.

What to do?

First, pull yourself together, learn how to count to ten before you scream. They say it helps.

Second, learn to compromise. If this is not a far-fetched scandal, but a serious situation, listen to your soulmate and try to understand and hear what he is talking about. If you think differently (and you have the right to do so), look for a way out, a compromise. But look for it together and not with the help of a "tinned throat" when the membranes burst from your cry.

Thirdly, learn to praise your man, say nice words to him - men love it, they inspire him. When a woman believes in her man, he will move mountains.

Fourthly, create such an atmosphere in the house that he would fly home on the wings of love, but would not want to leave the house.
Finally, understand that everyone has flaws, including you (it is not yet known who has more of them). And he has them, but he also has virtues. So try to see the advantages, not paying attention to the small flaws. In the end, you fell in love with him with these shortcomings. What happened next? Why did you start to see some continuous flaws?
Think...

There are always two people to blame in a conflict. And if you are trying to push everything onto a man, then you do not see the log in your own eye. Or maybe you missed something somewhere? Maybe you should learn to forgive, be more tolerant and not rush to burn bridges? Maybe you should try to change something in yourself first?

13 reasons why men can leave seven forever or why a man leaves a family?

Sometimes, even among the most well-disposed couples, some kind of negativity flashes, but this does not always lead to a break, usually this leads to quarrels. But even in the most strong relationship for whom life slowly goes on as usual, and there are no hints that something is wrong, suddenly a man leaves the family ...

A family just doesn't fall apart overnight. It doesn’t happen in life that “yesterday” everything was still good, they lived, they lived, they made good. And “today” the husband packed his things and left in an unknown (or, as often happens, in a known) direction. And if a woman claims that this is exactly what happened, then she is disingenuous (to put it mildly), simply not wanting to wash dirty linen in public.

A man just never leaves. Before deciding on such a serious step, he will weigh everything and think it over a thousand times. And if, nevertheless, he decides to leave, then really everything is “sick” and there are quite specific justified reasons for this:

Reason #1. The man has lost interest in his woman.

Yes, girls, no matter how sad it may sound, but after a while men lose interest in us.

When a man starts dating a woman, at first he thinks that this is her - ideal woman the one he had been looking for all his life. But over time, a man begins to understand that this is not so.

They are bored with our behavior in bed, our habits, our manner of communication, our taste. And here there are two scenarios for the development of events: the first - the man leaves, the second - the man remains, but he most likely does this not because of you, but because of the child, the well-established life, the apartment. But even if he does not physically leave, but not with you ...

Reason #2. Cheating wife.

This is one of the most common reasons a man leaves a woman. And all because they are by nature owners. Only small percentage men will be able to forgive the woman who cheated on him. The rest leave. But at the same time, men sincerely believe that they themselves can go left. I think other comments are unnecessary here.

Reason #3. Woman's incontinence.

But then the unpredictability of women leads to the opposite effect: a man loses control over the situation and he no longer wants to live with a woman who does not behave quite adequately. This is especially true for women who do not know how to control their emotions in society. The result is one - men leave such women.

Reason #4. Women's scandal.

At the beginning of a relationship, we all try to look nice and respectable, but sooner or later our true nature comes out. Increasingly, scandals initiated by a woman begin.

Especially often this begins to happen after you get married. There are many reasons for this, it makes no sense to list them in this article. And it makes sense to understand that a man will not endure a brawler for a long time. One day he silently leaves the house. Can you get it back? I don't know.

Reason #5. Not the grooming of a woman.

It often happens that women, thinking that a man will not get away from her anywhere, stop caring for themselves. For some reason, women believe that, having married, they do not need to look seductive and attractive, and eventually turn into neglected housewives.

And this causes a rapid loss of interest on the part of a man. To avoid this, you just need to start taking care of yourself again, otherwise you risk being left alone. If a woman does not know how to cook, clean, take care of herself, her husband and children, then you should not be surprised when the husband packs up and slams the door.

He can continue to love his wife, but her shortcomings outweigh the virtues, feelings gradually fade away. The appearance of a caring, well-groomed and economic woman on the horizon, creating an atmosphere of comfort around herself, can speed up care.

Reason #6. Male dissatisfaction.

Here, a man does not receive those sharp and passionate emotions from his wife during the performance of marital duty, and again everything is ruined by monotony. After all, having lived enough time together, you get to know each other so well that even sex becomes predictable and the same for you.

And here again, the man turns on an interest in everything inaccessible and new. He will certainly find it in the arms of another woman. And you will lick your wounds.

Reason #7. Completely lack of spiritual intimacy, common interests and understanding.

This is a very serious reason for leaving. Different views on life, on relationships, on raising children bring family well-being to naught. If the spouse constantly feels that you are not on the same wavelength, there is no harmony in the relationship, it will be easier for him to decide on this step ...

Reason #8 The wife becomes a mother, and the husband fades into the background.

Complete obsession with children, erecting them into a cult repels men. If the wife has changed a lot after childbirth, does not pay attention to the man, behaves coldly and repulsively with him, sooner or later the man will be pulled to the side.

If such a postpartum period has already lasted for months, or even reptiles, and the wife is not going to change, then be prepared for the fact that the “brood hens” will be left alone ...

Reason #9 The absence of children in marriage.

Wife's unwillingness to have children. The number of children in a marriage and their age are also important. It is clear that the more children in a marriage and the younger they are, the more pangs of conscience a man who leaves the family experiences.

Accordingly, the fewer children and they are older, the less a man worries and is more inclined to divorce. And if the spouses have not made common children over the years of marriage, and the man really wants to, then most likely he will get them on the side with another woman and go to her.

Reason #10. The degree of his dependence on his wife, her relatives and friends, as well as the nature of the relationship with them.

If a man is somehow dependent on them for his income, career (his bosses are his wife’s relatives or their friends), or lives on their property, and the prospective new bride cannot boast of a large income, real estate and high social status, this may seriously stop the implementation of his intentions to leave his wife.

Especially if he is with them in a warm and friendly relationship. If he is completely independent of anyone (or this dependence once took place, but has now ended), and his relations with relatives are of a formal nature, the likelihood of divorce increases significantly.

Especially if the alternative wife has her own real estate, property and at least an average income.

Reason #11. Availability of own living space for further residence.

The wealth of a man. Being in a state of preparation for a divorce, a responsible man almost always understands that the apartment should remain with his wife and children (if the couple has children).

Accordingly, if he has alternative housing - another apartment, a share apartment that is being completed, a comfortable apartment of his parents, service housing, etc., a man is much more courageous to leave his family than if he, in case of leaving home , had to hang around with friends, rent expensive housing, or even go to an apartment with another woman.

A man whose career and income are on the rise is always positive, so the divorce procedure scares him noticeably less than a man whose income is barely enough for an average or low subsistence level. Accordingly, a man with high level income less feels the hardships of alimony, is more likely to provide significant financial assistance their children, even without appropriate court decisions. Therefore, he is ready to go to any lengths, including divorce.

Reason #12. Lack of familiarity with one's family.

The first thing that concerns the guarantee of a strong relationship is a man's habit of his family. If everything in his life is connected with his family, he takes care of his relatives and friends, and his family respects him, then, most likely, a man simply cannot leave them.

The thing is that our brain does not like frequent changes from what is familiar to it and this does not motivate new changes; If a man spends little time in his family, and this may even be due to his field of activity.

He (a sailor, an astronaut, an eternal commander, works in the north on a rotational basis, etc.) then by itself weaned from his family, perhaps he already has another family in another city or even country .... And it will be easier for him to leave such a family for another ...

Reason #13. Serious feelings and intentions for another woman.

Now we come to one of the most, perhaps, the most important reasons for the departure of husbands from their wives. The most offensive reason, because of which it is very difficult to return a husband to the family. If he calmly packed his things, left, within a week or a month immediately filed for divorce, it means that he is firmly convinced of his intentions to start a family with another woman. So she turned out to be something really important to him, better than his wife.

Although most wives believe that mistresses are to relieve themselves, this is not always the case. If the spouse has ceased to completely suit the man, or at least in the main aspects of life, and he knows for sure that he will not yearn for this woman, he will leave her forever if he is really convinced that the new passion is not only in love, but also in life and in everyday life it will turn out to be much better than the ex-wife ...