In loving couples, sexual incompatibility does not happen. Sexual compatibility according to the signs of the zodiac. Compatibility in sex according to the horoscope Intimate compatibility of a man and a woman

What influences sexual compatibility?

Sexual compatibility is not only the coincidence of the sexual constitution (sexual temperament), the range of acceptability (what is acceptable in bed), tastes and passions, but also the ability of both to meet halfway. In addition, it is important to be able to maintain a platonic component, to take care of relationships. And this is just a small part. Often selfishness, the consumer attitude of at least one of the partners puts an end to compatibility even with good starting performance. You can compare sex with couples dancing. It is important that both of you enjoy it. And both understood that with coordinated actions they could get something beautiful and even sometimes beautiful.

Is sexual compatibility possible without feelings, without love?

Depending on what is meant by this. After all, some see in this only the compatibility of the genitals. To each his own. In general, harmonious sexuality is a combination of the platonic component, erotic, and already actually sexual. Drawing an analogy with food, we can say that you can eat in a restaurant with silver utensils and to the accompaniment of a Master on a white piano. And you can eat dog food. To each his own. And, probably, if both are enough, then this is a certain criterion of compatibility. Evaluation happens inside, not outside.

- How often do couples (or people alone) turn to a sexologist precisely because of sexual incompatibility?

Couples come to me with other complaints. On misunderstanding, conflicts, difference in temperaments, discrepancy in resolving the issue of the time of intimacy. People who are convinced of sexual incompatibility, as a rule, have decided to part inside, do not want to take steps towards them, some of them are lazy and do not know how to create and negotiate. And under this term they want to shift the responsibility for their failure to the outer circle. For example, incompatibility. Of course, the difference in the sexual constitution is an aggravating factor. But if there is a desire to adapt, get used to it, understand - a lot is solved. For example, I had a couple with vaginismus. They had only oral sex for 12 years, and over time, he began to suit them. And they turned only because IVF was too expensive for them (they were going to have a baby). But we must also remember not only sexual, but also biological incompatibility. This is when, for example, you don't like anything in your partner - neither touch nor smell. But such couples often do not start a relationship. Therefore, they have nothing to save.

— Is it possible to "fix" the incompatibility?

You need to learn to speak. And be able to take care of each other. There is a well-known parable on this subject. One true believer once came to the prophet. He was very worried about what hell and heaven were, because he wanted to live righteously. With this question, the man turned to the prophet, but the prophet did not answer. He took the questioner by the hand and led him through dark alleys to the palace. Through the iron gates they entered the great hall. In the middle of the hall stood a huge cauldron on fire, in which soup was boiling. People with sunken cheeks and blank eyes crowded around the cauldron, trying to get their portion of soup. The companion of the prophet was amazed when he saw in their hands a spoon, the size of themselves. The whole spoon was made of metal, red-hot from the soup, and only at the very end of the handle was there a wooden handle. Greedily, the hungry people poked their spoons into the cauldron. Everyone wanted to get their share, but no one succeeded. They had difficulty pulling heavy spoons out of the soup, but since they were too long, even the strongest could not put them in their mouths. Those who were too zealous burned their hands and face and, seized with greed, poured soup over the shoulders of their neighbors. Cursing, they attacked each other and fought with the same spoons that could satisfy their hunger. The Prophet took his companion by the hand and said, "This is hell." After a long wandering through the dark corridors, they entered another room. Here, too, there were many people sitting around. In the middle of the hall stood a cauldron of boiling soup. Each had the same huge spoon in his hand, which the prophet and his companion had already seen in hell. But the people were well-fed, only quiet satisfied voices and the sounds of dipping spoons were heard in the hall. People came in pairs. One dipped the spoon and fed the other. If a spoon was too heavy for someone, then immediately another couple helped with their spoons, so that everyone could eat in peace. As soon as one was sated, another took its place. The Prophet said to his companion: “But this is paradise!” In sex life, too, you can make a paradise. But only by working together.

Is it possible to somehow compensate for sexual incompatibility in a relationship?

Certainly. For example, good sexual technique. And this can be learned, there would be a desire. The ability to meet halfway when there is no great mutual desire. After all, sometimes appetite comes with eating. It is important to understand that if something is really important for another, you need to consider it. So you can count on the fact that your wishes will be taken into account. And not only in the sexual sphere.

Is it worth planning serious relationship with a person with whom there is perfect sexual compatibility, but there are no other points of contact? What is the risk?

Not worth it. As people change, the novelty wears off. And, if there is nothing behind it, painful and awkward pauses begin to appear. When it becomes painful and uninteresting. And such a couple breaks up for lack of a common one. It is especially sad when there are already children.

In general, a system of marital factors is used in sexology, where not one, but five main axes are evaluated. And their compatibility. At the reception, sometimes a couple turns when they want to understand where they have weak points, and what needs to be “pulled up”, and what to make a reservation about “on the shore”. This order is often approached by couples on the recommendations of those who have already handled this once, such is the “word of mouth”.

- Is it possible to understand whether you will be compatible with a person, to immediate sexual relations?

You can never be 100% sure. But if there is a good and quick response - both in looks and in bodily movements, there is a high probability that the dance will work out. You need to be able to see, feel, and not pay attention to various secondary signs - for example, the nature of hair, hands, nose shape, and so on.

Few people think about compatibility when meeting, but many then bite their elbows. How can you determine the psychological compatibility of partners?

By nature, a person is a social being, i.e. cannot live without the company of other people for a long time.

Modern life dictates the need to communicate with a wide range of people. Moreover, interaction with some people is episodic and short in time, with others we communicate for a long time and quite often. Communication captures all spheres of life - personal, business, intimate. A positive partnership makes our life meaningful, more interesting, we experience a sense of emotional comfort. If the partnership is negative, then there is a feeling of depression, we are in a constant state of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment.

The problem of determining psychological compatibility is as old as the world. Even in ancient times, they tried to identify and explain compatibility between partners with the help of astrology, numerology; predict using various types of divination. In the modern world, these non-traditional methods have been supplemented by such methods for determining compatibility, such as compatibility by blood group, by human design, etc.

Of decisive importance in establishing personal relationships, creating a family is the compatibility of partners, because good psychological compatibility provides the opportunity to live side by side for a long time, interact, overcome conflict situations or resolve conflicts effectively.

How can you determine the psychological compatibility of partners?

Compatibility includes several components:

1. Physiological compatibility.

The first perception of a person in us occurs at a subconscious level. When you first meet, animal instincts kick in. We perceive a new acquaintance through sensations - at the level of appearance, smell, voice timbre, pantomime, etc. And we, in the process of the first interaction, not yet knowing why, begin to experience a feeling of sympathy or antipathy. Very often the first impression turns out to be surprisingly correct.

2. Directly psychological compatibility.

In the process of communicating with a person, we learn about the motives of his behavior, the orientation of the personality, and the features of the worldview. And we are affirmed in the thought that this is “my” person, or vice versa, we clearly understand that this person does not suit me. If you can’t decide in any way, then remember that, having overcome the objectively existing process of “grinding in characters”, you can accurately determine whether you have points of contact with this person or you are diametrically opposed personalities.

Psychologists say that couples get along best where the temperament of one partner is an addition to the type of character of the other (sanguine and melancholic, choleric and phlegmatic).

There is also good compatibility among partners who lead a similar lifestyle and have common interests.

3. Sexual compatibility.

Intimate relationships in the lives of loved ones are extremely important. In life, there are frequent cases when even the dissimilarity of characters is smoothed out if the spouses get mutual pleasure in bed. At the same time, if there is good compatibility in other areas, and there are problems in intimacy, then it is possible to regulate this sphere of relations taking into account the needs of both spouses, using various sexual techniques, role-playing games, helping to overcome complexes in bed.

4. Spiritual, cultural and intellectual compatibility.

It is difficult to maintain a relationship with a partner if you have different life principles; absolutely different levels of upbringing, education, spirituality. Not without reason, our ancestors recommended to get to know the family of your half well before associating life with it.

The choice of your partner in the personal-sexual sphere must be approached responsibly, since our happiness, well-being, career, health, and, ultimately, life largely depend on this.

Compatibility in sex- a question of great importance for any couple. This topic can be especially relevant at a time when partners already have little experience in sexual life or begin to live together, or when they live for some time and think about marriage or have recently entered into marriage.

Moreover, sometimes these questions may arise only a few months or years after the start of a sexual relationship with a partner, because sexual constitution sometimes it can only fully manifest itself when “hormones have already won back” and the first ardent sexual storm calms down.

“He terrorizes me with sex every night! I love him, I want to live my life with him, but what about this? I don't need so much sex, it's already getting unpleasant, what's next?"

“My girlfriend wants sex all the time! I feel inferior because I can't satisfy her sexual desires."

“My husband turned out to be no one in bed. Before we got married, we made love several times a week, and now, a year later, it turned out that he needs a maximum of once a month, and what should I do? I want to get divorced"

Such questions to psychologists and sexologists are not uncommon.

To understand what could be the matter here, let us turn to the concept of sexual or sexual constitution of man and woman. This is the aggregate physiological characteristics organism, formed by hereditary factors. There are 3 types of sexual constitution: weak, medium and strong.

These names do not carry any assessment, there is no concept of "bad - good" sexual constitution She is what nature gave you. Within each category, subcategories can be distinguished that describe more precisely, for example, a weak sexual constitution may be closer to the average, or it may be at the extreme pole - the weakest possible.

Difficulties in sexual relations can be experienced by people with any constitution. What is important here is not what kind of sexual constitution a particular person has, but what features the partners met. Knowing about your sexual constitution and the constitution of your partner will help you guess what sexual compatibility in a couple to better understand each other and help determine the next steps.

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Sexologists consider the following vectors:

1. The age of awakening of libido (sexual desire) - when there was an attraction to the opposite sex.

Strong constitution: 9-11 years old, average 12-14, weak 15-17 and older

1. The age of the first ejaculation, regardless of how the ejaculation occurred - during intercourse, masturbation, wet dreams

Strong: 10-12 years old, average 13-15 years old, weak 16-19 years old and later

1. The trochanter index is the ratio of height to leg length.

Strong 1.99-2 and more, medium 1.92-1.98, weak 1.85 and less - 1.91

Roughly speaking, the longer the legs, the weaker the sexual constitution. One woman admitted: “I really like guys with tall, long legs, basketball players, but my body responds to short, stocky, hairy ones.” That woman had a strong sexual constitution, and the body itself told her which men she had an ideal relationship with. sexual compatibility.

1. Pubic hair growth - weak: horizontal (female type), medium: with a transition to the stomach in the form of a hair path to the navel (male type), strong: male type with excessive hair growth (hypertrichosis).
2. The maximum kurtosis (number of repeated ejaculations per day), regardless of how the ejaculation occurred. Weak: 0-3, medium 4-6, strong 7-9 or more
3. The time to achieve a conditional physiological rhythm (UFR) after the start of regular sexual activity (after what time). The conditional physiological rhythm is considered to be 2-3 sexual intercourses per week (for the European population). Not everyone always achieves UVR (in the absence of a permanent partner, for example, this is often impossible for objective reasons), so this column may remain blank.

With a weak constitution, the UFR is established immediately or after a year of regular sexual activity, with an average one - from 2 to 10 years (and before that, sex can occur more often), with a strong one - 11 years or more, a greater number of sexual acts per week is maintained in the presence of a permanent partner.

1. The absolute age of reaching the conditional physiological rhythm. This item may also be left blank. Weak: up to 26 years old, medium - from 27 to 40 years old, strong - from 41 or more.

Here, sexologists consider the following vectors:

1. Age of first menstruation. With a weak constitution, it occurs at the age of over 15 years, with an average one - from 13 to 14, with a strong one - at 12 years old and earlier.
2. Regularity of menstruation: with a weak sexual constitution, there may be long-term cycle disorders or even amenorrhea (absence of menstruation). With an average - there may be episodic short-term violations of the cycle with pronounced adverse external influences, or without violations. With a strong - the monthly cycle is regular without pathology.
3. Childbearing function: the timing of pregnancy after the onset of sexual activity (in the absence of contraception) or, if there was a long-term contraception, the timing of pregnancy after the termination of contraception.

If the sexual constitution is weak, pregnancy can occur after 3 or more years, in the case of an average one, from 6 months to 2 years, and if the sexual constitution is strong, it can occur even with protection or very quickly, within 6 months.

1. The nature of the course of pregnancy. With a very weak constitution, there may be miscarriage, the threat of termination of pregnancy, severe pathology, severe toxicosis, and any other pathological course.

If you have a weak sexual constitution, it is not at all necessary that the pregnancy will be difficult, it only suggests that the likelihood of a complicated pregnancy is slightly higher. With an average sexual constitution, there can be easily flowing toxicoses or no pathology at all, with a strong one, as a rule, pregnancy is easy.

1. Trochanter index, ratio of leg length to height: weak - 1.88-1.96, average -1.96-1.99, strong - 2 or more
2. The nature of the pubic and axillary hair growth: weak - hair growth is either absent, or there are single straight hairs, or the hair is thicker and longer on the central part of the pubis. With an average sexual constitution, female-type hair growth: the pubis and upper labia are covered with curly hair with a horizontal top line. With a strong constitution - a tendency to the male type or hypertrichosis.
3. Erotic libido awakening (age) Weak: 14-17 years old and older, average 12-13 years old, strong 11 years old and earlier
4. First orgasm (age): weak - at 31 years old and older, medium: at 21 - 30 years old, strong - at 20 years old and earlier.
5. Achievement of 50-100% orgasticity (at what age): weak after 35, average 20-35 years, strong - at 19 and earlier.

Your indicators can be in different types of constitution, then you need to look where the majority of the answers are and take into account those that are in other types. For example, most indicators indicate an average sexual constitution, but if there are also answers from a strong one, then we can talk about an average constitution with a tendency to strong, etc.

Now, knowing what your sexual constitution is, you can assume your possibilities. For example, a 25-year-old man has sex 4-5 times a week. If he is the bearer of a weak sexual constitution, then it turns out that at such a frequency he functions on the verge of his capabilities. If his sexual constitution is average, then this corresponds to his personal norm. In the case when the sexual constitution is strong, this amount of sex is far from the limit for him.

Or, for example, a woman with a weak sexual constitution, having sex once a week, may even suffer from an excess of sex, while a woman with an average constitution will rather feel unsatisfied, and with a strong constitution she will experience acute frustration due to lack of sexual intimacy.

If the partners match according to the sexual constitution, the chances of sexual compatibility increase significantly.

Often couples ask how much sex is the norm? There are no norms here, each couple is unique and has its own characteristics of sexual life. What may be normal for one couple may be unacceptable for another.

Averages do not give an understanding of the true picture, because the range of individual differences is very large. Some young couples rarely have sex, while others do it several times a day.

Here it is also important to take into account the peaks of sexual activity: a woman or a man with any sexual constitution at different times of life will show a different level of interest in sex. As a rule, after 30-35 years, women pay more conscious attention to sex as a process, and in men at 40-45 years of age, the need for sex decreases compared to the age of 20. Although this, too, everything can be very individual.

A young couple in their 30s came to the reception: “We have sex once a month, are we probably sick?” The psychologist asked if they were worried about something else, besides the suspicion that this was not quite normal, if there was any emotional and physical dissatisfaction. It turned out that no.

After that, together with a psychologist, they analyzed their sexual constitutions and saw that in this pair - perfect sexual compatibility: both have a weak sexual constitution, and they were lucky to meet each other. So, for this particular couple, sex once a month is the absolute norm, while they are happy.

It also happens that the difference in the sexual constitution is insurmountable.

When partners have significantly different sexual constitutions, and they are not ready to meet each other halfway, or are ready, but nature constantly asserts itself, sometimes it is wiser to part so as not to torment each other all your life.

A young woman with a strong sexual constitution fell in love with a man with a weak one. When they lived in different cities and met a couple of times a month during her business trips, they sexual compatibility seemed quite normal. Then he invited her to live with him, she agreed and moved.

After some time, it turned out that their compatibility in sex is actually far from ideal: he had enough sex once a month and monotonously, but she needed much more often and more varied.

Where some couples could agree to add other ways of sexual interaction, they did not succeed: the man could not force himself to increase sexual activity, and the woman began to look for satisfaction on the side. The difference was significant and irresistible. They eventually separated, having the opportunity to create more harmonious unions.

The girl met a young man of 30 years old. She is divorced, young, beautiful. He sees that he likes her, but does not reach sex. Why? Maybe he has a very weak sexual constitution? The psychologist suggested possible sexual disorders in a man. The girl decided to check. When I was visiting him, I tried to initiate sex.

Then he honestly admitted to her that he had great masturbation experience but does not have much sexual experience. Strong excitement before direct sexual contact often blocked his initiative in relation to girls.

He really wanted to have sex with her, but had a huge amount of fear of the process itself .

But the girl was not afraid of problems. She turned out to be very supportive, did not devalue, humiliate him, did not turn away. After consulting with a psychologist, she gradually helped him reduce anxiety and overcome fears.

At first they just talked about it, then they agreed on mutual caresses without sex on the advice of a psychologist. But on the very first evening they could not resist, and the pleasure of sex for both exceeded all expectations. Their intimate relationship improved. And their sexual compatibility turned out to be high.

Another example: A young married couple came to the reception. The psychologist interviewed each one individually. The wife complained that she did not have enough sex, suspected that their sexual compatibility was low. The husband explained this by the fact that he is very busy at work and gets tired. When analyzing the sexual constitutions of partners, it turned out that both of them are weak.

But the woman mistakenly assumed that she needed more sex, since it turned out that she was driven by an unconscious attitude that for her sex is an expression of her partner's love, that is, if there is a lot of sex, then she is loved. Whereas the true sexual needs were small.

How should partners devoted to each other act if it turned out that their compatibility in sex is far from ideal, that they differ greatly in the level of their sexual needs?

When spouses with different sexual constitutions love a friend very much and have the same value system, they will adapt, find options without cheating or parting.

For example, if the wife’s sexual constitution is weaker than that of her husband, she can sometimes remain in sex in a passive role, if this is permissible for her, or give her partner sexual satisfaction in other ways than direct sexual intercourse, for example, resort to oral or manual caresses .

And someone whose sexual constitution is stronger will not insist on sex so often, sometimes helping himself with masturbation. It can provide a real and pleasurable outlet for sexual needs when a person's sexual needs currently exceed those of their partner.

In general, a more active role is assigned to the partner who has more energy and who needs sex more. It is important to discuss this together and find solutions that will suit both. Then the partners will not feel that their sexual compatibility is low and a constant source of problems.

Such partners will try to take care of each other without being violent. Those. adapt to these differences in the sexual constitution, in the presence of other equally important factors - love, common values. Therefore, for each couple with such complaints, their own solution can be found.

Of course, good sex and a successful marriage are not directly related, however, relationships that bring great sexual satisfaction tend to last longer, and spouses in this case are less likely to resort to infidelity than when marriage does not provide such satisfaction.

However, the sexual compatibility of partners, resulting from an identical or similar sexual constitution, is far from all that can affect the quality of sex. The most important element that determines the quality of sexual relations between partners is communication between them.

Sex is as important a topic as parenting, current affairs and everything else that you are ready to discuss with each other. If you are afraid to discuss the topic of sex, you may lose that important part of intimacy in a relationship that strengthens the family and trust in each other. If a couple is not ready to talk about sex, they are often not ready to talk about many other things, and instead of a constructive dialogue, partners think for each other, get offended, and manipulate.

If you are afraid talk to a partner about sex, is it worth thinking about trust, what are you afraid of and what terrible things can happen if you start discussing these topics openly with each other? How much do you trust your partner? Do you know for sure his needs, thoughts related to sex, or are you just guessing and thinking out for him? And he? Does your partner know about your sexual needs?

In this case, it would be good to turn to a psychologist or sexologist who will help the couple start such a conversation. In the studies of the American sexologist Alfred Kinsey, a close correlation was found between the ability of partners to talk about their sexual desires, feelings and the quality of marital sex.

With all the importance of such a compatibility factor as the sexual constitution, one should not forget: how a person manifests himself in sex also depends on many other aspects: personality type, upbringing, attitudes and myths absorbed from the parental family and society.

It is important to remember that sexual compatibility alone does not guarantee happy family relationships, and does not replace everything else: spiritual intimacy, compatibility of characters, common goals, principles, etc. And it does not exclude the need for a couple to be ready to work on their relationship, including . and sexy.

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Falling in love, we very rarely think about why we were attracted to this particular person. There is no doubt about the correctness of the choice if the partners are suitable for each other both emotionally and physically. However, harmony is not always achieved ... It is very difficult at the initial stage of a relationship to conclude whether partners are suitable for each other, since the frequency of sexual intercourse during this period is usually higher than normal. According to sexologists, it is possible to objectively judge the degree of a man's sexuality only at the end of the honeymoon, because males love to splurge and hit their chosen ones with records in bed. With a woman, the situation is reversed: she needs time to understand whether her new boyfriend is worthy. After that, even the most outspoken modest woman, feeling comfortable and confident with him, will surprise with her indomitable temperament in intimate scenes.

But it also happens that after a while in bed, an elevator, a lull comes, followed by disappointment, dissatisfaction. The problem has a bitter name "sexual disharmony" . It is worth recognizing that in practice cases of absolute incompatibility are rare, and yet even a partial discrepancy can ruin a relationship that has not really begun. Psychologists advise such couples to undergo family therapy sessions, for example, we advise you to visit the site https://psihologvalmaty.kz/ of one of that good psychologist.

Anatomical sexual disharmony

The correspondence of the male and female genital organs is very important for the technique of sex - the disproportion in size often causes a lack of sensual pleasure during intercourse. Female physiology is arranged in such a way that in the normal state the vagina has an average length 7.5-10 cm. The first number refers to its front wall, the second - to the back. So the penetration depth is 10 cm, but increases even more when excited by 5 cm. The average length of the phallus in an erect state is 15 cm. So, if we compare the average sizes of male and female genital organs, we will notice a certain correspondence. In addition, the vagina is very elastic - there is even the concept of "vaginal accommodation", which means that when long term relationship the female genitalia adapt to the male. In this regard, most sexologists are sure that after some time after the start of sexual activity, the couple achieves harmony in sex.

With this opinion, of course, it is difficult to argue. However, it must be borne in mind that during an orgasm, a woman's vagina shrinks by two to three centimeters, while an ejaculating man seeks to penetrate as deeply as possible into the bowels of his beloved's body. As a result, complications are possible, for example, cervical erosion or thinning of the walls of the vagina. Correctly selected postures and exercises will help to cope with sexual incompatibility; there are also mechanical contrivances that add the missing centimeters to the phallus, or rings that prevent it from penetrating too deep.

A discrepancy of more than three centimeters is classified as a sexual disproportion. If the vagina does not reach the standard ten, and the man’s organ exceeds the average size, then the “horsewoman” and “officer” poses are contraindicated for such a pair (when the woman's legs rest on the man's shoulders). The most advantageous position in this “genital” scenario is when a woman sits on her partner’s lap facing him. The vagina lengthens reflexively, as if protecting itself from the penis.

Sometimes it becomes an obstacle that people have different sexual temperaments, and this leads to differences in intimate needs. Sexual activity then varies from two or three sexual acts per day to several per year. Incompatibility of temperaments occurs as often as incompatibility of characters. Someone likes to have sex 24 hours a day, someone does not want any contact for months. Weak sexual activity of the partner leads a temperamental wife to chronic dissatisfaction, neurosis, and vice versa. So best option when people with similar levels of sexual needs get married - otherwise everything will end in divorce.

Family sexual disharmony and orgasm

Many couples fail to achieve orgasm at the same time, and for some reason they see this as a problem of almost a psychological nature. Sexologists also warn: you should not consider orgasm the only indicator of sexual success, because the positive sensations associated with intimate communication are extremely diverse. Giving orgasm the role of the necessary completion of sexual intercourse, a woman in case of failure (and this, given the female psychology and physiology, is not so rare) can be convinced of her inferiority, and stiffness and fear of another fiasco will completely deprive her of sensual pleasure. A man, finding himself in such a situation, will give himself a disappointing diagnosis of “sexually incompetent”, which also provokes negative consequences. So fixate on an imaginary problem not achieving a double-edged orgasm is not recommended.

If you want sex to bring only pleasure, you must learn to set your own rules, strive for your own orgasm, but without turning it into a cult. All sorts of disorders won't do sex life more harmonious. In such a situation, in no case should you put pressure on your partner - it is much better, and for both of you, to try to understand and support your loved one.

When there is incompatibility between a man and a woman

The reason for the incompatibility of partners can also be age-related features. So, during puberty, a conflict situation arises:

• men reach the peak of sexual activity,
• while women are still of little interest in this sweet side of life.

As a result, couples are faced with the problem of male infidelity, which is why a woman develops an inferiority complex, flavored with a fear of sexual intercourse. Here it is important to be aware that this is a temporary disharmony, because betrayal in this case dictated not by the mind and heart, but by hormones: the body requires its own. A few years will pass, and the man will settle down, and the woman will mature and appreciate the beauty of intimacy.

How is sexual incompatibility of partners treated?

It also happens that serious problems arise between lovers due to differences in previously acquired experience. Sexual preferences and attitudes that develop in the process of communicating with partners suddenly turn out to be completely unacceptable in new relationships, which is why young people sometimes adapt to each other with great difficulty. Closing in on themselves, they eventually destroy the family when there is an opportunity to save it. The vast majority of problems in sex are psychogenic, so experts recommend talking to each other, remembering that all people are individual, and the manifestations of sexuality are diverse and due to differences in upbringing and experience. And yet it is important to learn how to pronounce your feelings, to achieve mutual understanding from the very beginning. intimate relationships not when problems arise. This, perhaps, is the secret of family happiness.

AN EXERCISE

"CONTACTS OF FEMALE POWER AND HEALTH"

Target: Harmonize the flow of energies in the body, increase blood circulation in the area of ​​the diaphragm, which enhances the cleansing of the body, and "saturate" the organs of the abdominal and chest cavities with oxygen. Strengthen the "cellular", deep breathing of the entire surface of the skin.

Starting position: Lie on your back on the floor or on a hard flat bed, put a hard pillow or roller under your neck, close your feet and palms, spread your knees as far as possible. Pull closed feet together to the pelvis, hands in front of the heart center are closed with palms. All exercises are accompanied by conscious breathing. For greater efficiency, apply luminiferous breathing.

Implementation of the whole complex:

1. press the fingertips of both palms against each other (8-10 times);

2. press with the fingertips, and then on the entire palm of the left and right hand alternately (8-10 times);

3. press both closed palms with the entire surface (8-10 times);

4. Stretch your arms with tightly bent palms to full length, throw them behind your head, then draw them slowly over your face to the solar plexus, as if moving along the spine in the middle of the front surface of the body, fingers pointing forward (towards the head). Do back and forth 8-10 times;

5. then turn the fingers of closed palms towards the legs and move them in the same way as in the previous exercise, but from the bottom up - from the pubis to the solar plexus (8-10 times);

6. stretch your arms to full length with closed palms up and down (10 times);

7. place tightly closed palms on the chest above the solar plexus and move the closed feet 1-1.5 lengths of the foot back and forth, preventing them from opening (8-10 times);

8. move your closed palms and feet at the same time back and forth as if you want to stretch the vertebrae (as many times as it will be comfortable).

9. Spread your arms along the body and take a breath, raising them up, as if capturing heavenly energy, closing your hands with your palms above your head, hold your hands down, as if filling the uterus with life-giving energy of force. (8-10 times) This exercise can be done independently without all the previous ones.

SUBTLETS OF INTIMATE LIFE

Prevention of violations that reduce reproductive health, is largely associated with well-being in sexual life, one of the components of which is compatibility partners. Compatibility can be considered on several levels.

genetic compatibility (by histocompatibility antigens) correlates with the similarity of the odors of individuals and, of course, can be assessed by odors. The olfactory subcortical structures of the brain are the oldest and are involved in the maintenance of the sexual sphere. If the partners differ too much or, on the contrary, do not differ enough in smells (respectively, in terms of histocompatibility antigens), the embryo will be rejected by the mother's body, since it causes either an excessive violent immune reaction (the mother reacts to the embryo as if it were an allograft), or this reaction, which is necessary in certain limits to strengthen the embryo in the uterus, is too weak and in this case a miscarriage occurs. Women are much more sensitive to smells. Thus, the optimal variant for carrying a pregnancy is the average variant in terms of the degree of histocompatibility between the mother and the fetus. Antigenic incompatibility can manifest itself in the immune response of a woman's body to a man's sperm, which prevents conception.

Physical and physiological compatibility includes the degree of anatomical correspondence of partners, the similarity of rhythms and plastic manifestations (the nature of movements, touches). This, in particular, is well defined in the process of dance, so dance can serve as a testing moment for plastic compatibility.

Mini test for physiological compatibility:

3 feelings must match with partners: a sense of rhythm; sense of tact and sense of humor

The similarity of biorhythms plays a huge role in creating comfort in a relationship. Spouses who have a high biorhythmic similarity in terms of the main psychophysiological indicators are more calm, healthy and feel a sense of security in the family.

Syndrome "Without 15 to eleven"

The woman is ready for sex, and the man is tired at work. In the morning it's the other way around. Biorhythm mismatch.

And it's not a coincidence that when they go to bed at different times, over time, the need to hug his wife will decrease dramatically. What is eaten unconsciously always manifests itself in consciousness and therefore in a dream you need to kiss and hug each other.

There is a psychological technique in the art of communication: in order to win over another person to yourself, you need to enter into the same rhythm of movement, speech, breathing, etc. with him. A similar long-term mutual adjustment of spouses makes them similar in behavioral patterns over time. Differences in biorhythmic activity (for example, daily biorhythm - "larks", "owls") sometimes deform the natural way of life of each of the partners so much that they can serve as a reason for parting.

Sexual Compatibility is determined primarily by the similarity of temperaments, the level of sexuality. These parameters are determined by nature and age. The peak of sexual activity in a man falls on the age of 20 years, and then there is a gradual decrease. In women, the maximum sexual disclosure falls on 35-40 years, this activity is kept at a fairly high level during menopause and after it. After sixty years, the possibilities of the sexes are equalized. Based on this dynamic, unions between a mature man and a young woman can be considered biologically justified, and vice versa. Sexual temperament for its satisfaction requires the same level of sexuality from a partner. This is clearly reflected in the classification of women (gazelle, fallow deer, cow, elephant) and their corresponding men in the Indian treatise "Kama Sutra".

Really existing and at the same time still full of mystery is the mutual attraction of a man and a woman, associated with a certain ratio of masculine and feminine in them, i.e. with a sexual constitution.

It is known that in a person with a normal genotype, the sexual constitution is determined mainly by the amount and ratio of female and male sex hormones in the body. Hormones, in turn, model the morphological and psychological manifestations of the individual. According to O. Weininger, the union of a man and a woman is considered ideal if it is organized according to the principle of addition: the more masculine a man is, the more feminine outwardly he chooses a woman and vice versa. Together, the combination of these qualities, the couple should represent one ideal man and one ideal woman.

A similar conclusion can be reached by analyzing the psychological complementarity of a couple from the standpoint of C.G. Jung. According to Jung, in the depths of the unconscious part of the psyche, every man has a feminine principle (Anima), while women have a masculine principle (Animus). Moreover, external behavioral manifestations are in reciprocal relationships with these qualities. The perfect man externally logical, consistent, firm in decisions, but internally irrational, emotional, soft, in need of love. A woman, on the contrary, is outwardly irrational, emotional, soft, plastic, and internally rational, consistent, practical, stable. Therefore, it is much more difficult to raise a wife than a husband. The most charming women on the outside can be "samurai in a skirt" on the inside. Anima and animus are formed under the influence of the image of mother and father. The choice of partners for living together is largely determined by their behavioral similarity with the Anima and Animus. We are looking for external correspondence to what we have inside. Therefore, masculine outwardly men (but soft inside) choose the most feminine outwardly women and vice versa.

Questions psychological compatibility , including in the union of a man and a woman, are quite fully developed in many ancient medical systems, as well as in astrology and socionics. However, the principles are the same everywhere: optimal unions are either between similar types, or complementary. In the astrological system, signs of the same element are considered similar, in socionics - identical types. Complementary relations in astrology are relations of signs of fire and air, water and earth elements (ie through 60° of the zodiac circle through a sign), in socionics they are dual relations. However, you should be aware of the differences between these two types of compatibility. Between similar types, knowledge is more easily transferred, understanding arises, a person learns himself through another. These relationships are good in the first third of life, when a person gets to know the world and himself. The addition is favorable for joint activities, which corresponds to the tasks of the union of people of a more mature age, striving for social self-realization.

However, there is that sphere of relations between a man and a woman, which is relatively associated with somatic or mental compatibility and is the result of individual inner work and upbringing of each of them. It is expressed in the ability to love and understand another. In the realm of higher needs, a person seeks reliability, respect, emotional and intellectual resonance, he wants sympathy and understanding.

QUOTE:

"In the other we love our pleasure" . I.M. Sechenov

If a man and a woman get satisfaction in the altruistic sphere of their relationship, giving (and love is always giving) and receiving tenderness, sympathy, understanding and help, then for mature individuals this is the key to the strength of their union. Commonality of worldview, philosophical and religious platform provided mutual love gives a new quality to the union of a man and a woman. The unity of language and purpose allows them not only to form a strong family for raising children, but also to create something more in the field of universal human values. Such alliances are said to be "alliances with purpose."

sex culture. This concept is immeasurably broader than the culture of sexual relations. And it is in this vein that the sexual education of society should take place. The formation of harmonious relations between a man and a woman is based on understanding phenomenon of man and woman.

Man and woman are two around the world, two mutually generating and complementary beginnings (yang and yin). Both sexes are equal. A man is an expression of an active, conscious, giving principle, realizing itself in material life, a woman is an expression of a passive, material, perceiving principle, striving for self-knowledge. Together they symbolize the involutive and evolutive parts of the same ring of life. The vector of a man's activity is directed towards material life. A man is more social, concrete, logical, instrumental; he must know what and how to do, and be responsible for it. A woman, being the embodiment of the material principle, strives, on the contrary, for spirituality, self-knowledge; she is more subtle, sensitive, intuitive, receptive, less socialized, but more biological, for life comes from her womb.

Biological differences between men and women determined at the chromosomal level. Additional genetic material in the second X chromosome in a woman determines not only the signs of sex, but also greater viability. To create a man, nature makes extra efforts, because. intrauterine formation of the male is more complex than that of the female. More boys are born, but the life expectancy of men is less. This is consistent with the population role of the male, which is the carrier of genetic diversity. The faster the "turnover" of men, the more genetically diverse the population. A woman is the bearer of a quantitative principle, because the number of children born cannot be more than a certain number.

Despite the genetic belonging to a certain sex, every man and every woman carries elements of the opposite sex. The specific proportion of these elements is determined by the amount and ratio of female and male sex hormones, which leave an imprint on morphological, physiological, mental and sexual manifestations.

AFFIRMATIONS

Positive thinking is key healthy lifestyle life.

I love my body. I send the light of Divine love to every organ of my beloved body.

My body is wise and knows how to heal itself.

I enjoy life, I am learning optimism, and at the same time my health is getting stronger, day by day all my organs and systems work better, I have more strength and vigor.

I live by the principle: the older - the younger. The body is a shell for the spirit, and my spirit is always young, which means that the body is also young.

Every day I get younger.

I am going to live long and keep my youth for a long time, I feel how the duration of my life is increasing every day, how my strength is growing, my faith in myself.

I live in peace and harmony with my body, I love and respect it and always help it to be healthy, feel comfortable and confident.

My body is wise, it knows what it needs, and I just need to listen to its voice. My body always strives to be healthy, it knows how to recover, how to gain strength.

I am the embodiment of strength, health, energy, cheerfulness. My body works like a clock.

My eyes burn with the fire of youth, health and love.

Miracles happen in my life every day. I rejoice in them and continue to love and develop myself.

From now on, I let the healing power within me work. This force unwinds like a spring, it has tremendous energy, it expels all diseases from my body and fills me with a clear, even radiance of health.

I forgive myself and others for all wrongs I have caused. I am calm and happy. My soul shines, and the light of my soul is transmitted to other people.

I love my body, I thank it for all the opportunities that it gives me, I take care of it with love, giving it the opportunity to always remain strong and healthy.

I have a young, healthy, strong, strong body, my muscles are strong and flexible, I am mobile, energetic, all organs and systems of my body work normally, and this will always be the case.

I feel good in my body and I keep it healthy every day.

I'm always lucky!

I am a Goddess capable of creating herself and the world around!

EFFECT OF ODOURS

Sexual sphere of man and woman also has significant differences. Due to their biological purpose, the sexual and reproductive spheres occupy a much larger share in the psyche of a woman than that of a man. A man is more impulsive, proactive, but his life in lesser degree than women, is subject to the "call of the sex." A woman is less active behaviorally, but this does not mean that her desires are weaker, they are less sharp, but more powerful and constant. Her tactics are not conquest, but seduction.

MYTH: It is said that over time a man who lives with one woman becomes less sensitive due to the fact that the woman secretes the same substances to which he adapts and which no longer excites him.

REPLICA: Good excuse for cheating.

The individual smell of a man and a woman depends on many reasons, but it is mainly associated with the characteristics of the hormonal and immune systems, the bioenergy field and the bacteria that live on our skin. This smell is as unique as fingerprints and determines to a large extent for us the attractiveness of a particular person. "Each species of plants and animals has its own smell, each race, people and individual genera. Each individual has its own specific smell"("The Edges of Agni Yoga", vol. 7.)

When a man communicates with a woman, the incoming signals in the form of smell are converted by his brain and lead to a change in the biochemical processes in the man's body. At the same time, the amount of testosterone increases in him, the aura and energy potential change, which pushes the man to sexual exploits. "Each thought is accompanied by its characteristic smell, causing a corresponding aromatic reaction in the human body" ("The Facets of Agni Yoga", vol. 7.)

In turn, after receiving the appropriate response signal in the form of smell, biocurrents, the amount of estrogen in the woman increases even more, and she becomes supportive and receptive to the courtship of this man.

Thus, at the first stage of communication, a man and a woman, as it were, “sniff out” each other, and then “addiction” already occurs. This sensitivity to each other is especially evident during the period of ovulation, when the amount of estrogen in the woman's body increases, which involuntarily enhances sensual aromas. A woman has a special aura that attracts men. In one survey, 71% of men and women identified smell as a strong trigger. Nearly a third of women believe that sexy men smell stronger.

It was the need to choose a man "by smell" that made nature reward living beings with the ability to "sniff out" each other.

INTERESTING FACT

In 1992, research on monkeys was carried out at the University of Melbourne. Scientists have established a relationship between stressful situations in females and a disease of the urogenital organs in males who have sexual intercourse with them.

It turns out that microorganisms live on the walls of the vagina - Duderline's sticks, which are in contact with thousands of nerve endings. Under stress, the nervous system of the female is excited, and electrical impulses reach the walls of the vagina. In the blood at this time, the amount of adrenaline sharply increases. Under the influence of these impulses and adrenaline, the Duderline wand becomes poisonous and is the cause of inflammatory processes in males. They suggest that the consequences of stress, quarrels, troubles at work and at home cause a similar reaction in a woman's body.

QUOTE:

“When people have very emotional experiences related to relationships with a partner, they tend to place them in the genital area. Women, for example, can hide their experiences in the uterus. And the more often they return to them, the more more likely to form a cyst or tumor." Louise Hay

PSYCHOSOMATICS OF WOMEN

Pain is not the cause of pain, but the effect.

Pain diagnosis steps:

1) Psychological reaction. If the sudden sharp pain during the transformation is gone, then this is already a signal of violations in the system.

2) Transformation and breathing practices do not help. It is removed by painkillers or other medicines. Deep pain that becomes chronic. Quick vacation and relax. Engage in awareness Why?

3) If the pain recurs, it is better to see a doctor to diagnose the condition. A reason to evaluate the effectiveness of work on oneself by non-drug harmonization.

Grievances are the accumulation of mental laziness, hidden stubbornness, isolation and the desire to insist on one's own. A means of manipulation and pity.

An exercise

Holodynamic tracking of grievances against men.

1. Brought out of themselves
2. Transformed
3. Invested back
4. We thanked the man for the new qualities.

Findings:

1. A woman should not go to bed immediately after troubles, quarrels, etc.

2. It is necessary to put the nervous system and psyche in order, eliminate the consequences of stressful situations, and then have sex. Instead of using tranquilizers, doping agents, alcohol, aromatherapy recommends the inhalation of fragrant substances, erotic massage or baths with "sensual mixtures", which, firstly, normalize the nervous and mental systems, and secondly, excite impulses in the receptors of the nervous system that respond for excitation in the erotic-determining zones of the brain, which, in turn, give a command to the genitals

FINDINGS

Harmony and Grace

The highest levels of beauty and charm

women are generated by her inner world.

A. Meneghetti

A harmonious woman carries within herself a state of grace. She bestows it on others as something special and specific. In theology, this state is considered discouraging and fascinating at the same time.

A person in this state exudes a spiritual presence, and he achieves the glory that arises from the perfect performance of all functions by this person. He lives, feels and enjoys every moment of his life.

The light of a prosperous person does not reach you from outside, it penetrates you from within. Charisma is a vital eroticism, therefore a person endowed with it seems to be the embodiment of the spirituality of other worlds.

Grace is expressed not only in a rational aspect, in personal maturity, in biological health, in a mental state of existential positivity; it comes with the power to change and do whatever you want. (A. Meneghetti)

A woman in a state of grace becomes the "holy of holies" and no one has the right to destroy it, neither the man nor the woman herself. She at this moment become a manifestation of Life itself, Being itself, and for this service is rewarded with success.

If a woman has felt the energy of grace, then she should invest it, but not waste it:

1. Personal and spiritual growth - to invest, unwanted sex - to squander.

2. Invest in business and actions, “blame” with friends - squander.

3. Communicates with undesirable people or boasts of his grace - squander, develop intuition and creativity - invest.

-A woman is endowed with the ability to enjoy everything that happens to her and around her. Pleasure is a necessity, the highest form of the order of life.

-A woman can get everything she wants, because she has gained the ability to create everything herself.

-A woman must create beauty, holiness, and order for her own sake.

All elements combine with each other and are born thanks to the Law of Love. All primary elements (earth, air, water, fire) contain consciousness. They react to Love as the highest manifestation of the Divine.

Unconditional love is a state. It is quiet, filling, nourishing, giving, bestowing. This is Love - the Light that fills everything around, this is grace. Unconditional Love gives thanks. She does not brag, does not shout, is not put on display. She just is. It exists, regardless of anything, without restrictions and barriers. She is free, without bindings.

In contrast, there is personal love. It is more familiar to a person. There is a certain “self-interest” in this love. It's more like love for something. It can be a thirst for unconditional love. Once having experienced a state of grace in unconditional love we are striving for it. Personal love is not freedom. These are bindings and restrictions, these are manipulations.

Brings you closer to God

Exercise "LAUGHTER"

Laughter is incompatible with fear. It also energizes us. It charges with optimism, makes self-confident.

Relax. Recall a comical situation when it was unbearably funny. Watch how laughter fills you from the inside. Breathe. Start laughing.

Look around. Make faces at each other. We laugh out loud together. Do not stop. We imagine that you saw something very funny in each other.