Why are people lonely? Strong personality 'Single' What to do if I'm a loner in life

Heh. Each of you is right in your own way. I read your posts in a couple of days, and decided to leave mine here. For show, or something.
"Man's greatest enemy is himself." Our difference is that we are introverts, to put it in the language of psychology. We build strength from within, not from outside. Mostly, of course. This does not mean that we are "wrong" or "special". We just have a different mindset. As for me, we have something that lovers of society do not have - the core. We are less dependent on others, on their opinions, and on their stupidity.
I'll give my example. I'm 19 years old. I began to get acquainted with different "layers" of society from the age of 15. I tried myself in various professions. Stopped at intellectual work. Gradually, the material plan began to bear fruit, and I'm not talking about - "making money on the Internet, or the same - streams." It's not that profitable. I swim every day, and soon I will master the weights of 32 kg. I study books (philosophical, scientific), and if I wish, I can try to read a person who wants to get to know me. Actually, I noticed that due to our mindset, we are able to learn any trade from the position of the mind, and not from emotions or instincts. It is easier for us to do physical, mental work day after day. We have enormous potential. And do not waste it on thoughts about supposedly "higher". Use it to your advantage, and perhaps in the future you will be able to help those who are dear to you disproportionately.
Well, about loneliness. We have an affinity for him. This should be used again for your own good. During periods when you want to be alone - work even harder on yourself, your earnings, read interesting / instructive books, and people will begin to gravitate towards you.
P.S. Our love of solitude does not prevent us from achieving something great. If we correctly set priorities and focus only on ourselves, then we are able to become stronger, smarter, richer, etc. Compared to other people who try to draw strength not only from themselves, but mainly from others. Yes, and it is not necessary to be alone with yourself all the time. At least take the opportunity and meet people who are different from you. At least for the sake of interest, and development for the sake of it. So... Everything is in your hands. Learn to use your advantage. Consider your love of loneliness as a kind of talent. Use this peculiar talent for your own good, and develop at a frantic pace. After all, nothing/no one is stopping you.
P.S.S. I advise you to get a pet / animals. This is not a replacement for society, but with them... Life is easier.
Good day, friends. I have not talked to anyone about this topic in "real" life, and even on the Internet. So... the message turned out the way it did.

Even Aristotle said that man by nature is a social animal, explaining the desire of people to communicate. However, there are individuals of a different warehouse: it is more convenient, easier and more comfortable for them to be alone with themselves. They avoid situations that make them dependent on others. We will look at the psychology of single people and figure out how to communicate with such a person.

Psychology: Loner Syndrome

The psychology of a loner lies in the desire for complete independence, the absence of obligations and ties. They let people close to them only at a certain distance, both physically and mentally. It is almost impossible to look into their soul.

Such people, even in early childhood, experienced an acute shortage of parental love and attention, true love, which should come from the heart. A child who grew up in such an atmosphere, or even raised by his grandparents, often sees the world as alien, cold, unfriendly. Not wanting to receive unnecessary heartache and disappointment, such a person simply does not make deep connections. If such a connection arises, a person will seek to devalue or break it in order to return to his usual state.

Relatives and the creation of a family for such a person are very difficult. Attempts to penetrate his soul will be met with a stiff rebuff.

If your friend or other half suffers from loneliness syndrome, it is important to choose the right tactics of behavior that can help avoid conflicts and even help the person to some extent. These are the main steps you can take.

Someone likes to be surrounded by many friends. Someone dreams of a big family with a bunch of little kids and a bunch of periodically visiting relatives. Many of us constantly communicate with colleagues at work, consulting with them on all issues. But there are people who can say with confidence: "I am a loner in life."

What does this mean for such people? "loner for life"? Such people do not need anyone: neither friends, nor family, nor a partner. They think that they can handle everything on their own. They think that only their opinion is the only correct one, they do not want to hear anyone's advice. They do not want someone to call them and disturb their peace. They are so cozy and comfortable. They have their own small and at the same time such a huge inner world into which they do not want to let anyone in, because they think that as soon as someone else appears in it, it will definitely deteriorate.

They will definitely have a family, only it will not consist of a bunch of relatives who come from time to time without warning. In their family, they are ready to see only themselves and their children. Well, if we touch on women, then the life of a single mother is actually not so bad as everyone thinks. Such ladies believe that they owe nothing to anyone, except for their children, of course. They are sure that no one will annoy them with betrayals and family quarrels and scandals.

Why is it so easy for them? Some of them simply began to believe that all their actions are stupid and selfish. They narrowed theirs to a minimum and fenced themselves and their lives with an imaginary wall when they realized that all their problems happen not because of themselves, but because of strangers. To prevent this from happening, they excluded strangers from their lives.

Many people think that a loner in life is some kind of punishment sent from above, they do not understand that people with similar views choose this path themselves, they themselves fence themselves off from society with a thick wall so as not to see and not hear the horror that is happening outside of it .

The wolf chooses such a life. One fine day, he simply leaves the flock that is disgusting to him in order to live according to his own laws, so as not to obey outside opinion. He creates his own family, and only his orders prevail in it. He is also a loner.

What is wrong with this, if a person, without interfering with anyone, just lives his own life and does not climb into someone else's? However, at all times such people were disliked and feared. They were misunderstood and feared. No one knew anything about them, because they did not tell anyone anything about themselves. That is why they were considered somehow not quite normal, they were not loved for this reason. Such people have always been too complex for everyone to understand.

Who are these people? You can call them whatever you like: silent intellectuals, just eccentrics, slightly deranged, it doesn't matter. In fact, they call themselves simply: "loner in life."

The worldview of such people can change over the years both in one direction and in the other. They are just so comfortable at some point in their lives. They are so calm, comfortable and cozy. They believe that this is the only way they can be sure of their future, that no one will spoil it for them.

If you are a loner, your ideal evening is not in the city. You think it's best to sit at home in your living room in the evening. However, this does not mean that you do not get any pleasure from getting out of the house. It just means that you know that the best company for you is your own.

You need to "recharge" after social functioning

Just because you're a loner doesn't necessarily mean you shun all social functioning. However, it does show that you are cautious about social interaction and you usually need time to "recharge" after it. Being introverts, loners may experience discomfort from over-socialization.

Just because you're a loner doesn't mean you always want to be all alone. In fact, many loners are very attached to their pets. If you're one of those people, your furry friends might even seem like better conversationalists than the average person (or at least better listeners).

If you're a loner, the thought of going to a crowded bar to meet someone is no more appealing to you than going to the dentist (and without anesthesia). And while online dating is much more comfortable for you, the thought of having to meet in the real world with one of your potential partners seems daunting to you.

In your opinion, the best way to do something right is to do it yourself. This means that when you have to participate in a group project, you want to share the responsibilities as soon as possible so as not to work together with a chatty partner.

A dark room where no one is talking is actually your view of heaven, which is why you often visit cinemas alone. You absolutely do not care that you are surrounded by couples on dates or groups of friends. For you, watching a movie alone seems more logical.

Ah, this is a welcome relief from the canceled meeting! Although you naturally worry about your friend when he says he is sick, you also breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the less time you spend in his company, the more you can devote to yourself.

If something can't be done digitally, it shouldn't be done at all. You communicate with colleagues in the messenger, order food in the application and send photos to your relatives in a group chat. For you, this is not only a faster way to exchange information. It also protects you from the inevitable exhaustion that follows most personal conversations.

Just because you mostly prefer your own company doesn't mean you don't want to romantic relationship. However, they are very difficult for you.

You never understood the negative attitude towards dining alone. On the contrary, you always try to eat without company.

When your phone starts ringing, your mind starts to think rapidly: who is calling? What do they want? Will they leave a voicemail?

If you are a loner, this does not mean that you do not want to communicate. You just prefer to do it remotely.

If you are a loner, then you know that sleeping alone is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And you have a big enough bed to prove it.

The scariest phrase that you can hear in the office is not "you're fired", but "would you like a drink after work?".

There are very few things you like less than a stranger walking up the street to talk to you.

When other people think of a dream vacation, they think of friends and family. For you, the maximum relaxation is the whole vacation spent alone.

Just because you're single doesn't mean you don't have friends at all. On the contrary, you have a great support group, but at the same time it is very difficult to become a member of it.

You would like to try trendy group workouts, but for now, you are only ready to do it in your own living room.

Routine is your passion, so last-minute plans tend to make you very nervous.

Whether you're shopping, working, or just walking down the street, you always wear headphones.

For many people, going to a bar or cafe and ordering an alcoholic drink there is a sign of trouble. For you, this is a perfectly acceptable way to enjoy a glass of wine.

If you want to get distracted and clear your head of extraneous thoughts, then there is no better way to do this than to take a short car trip with no specific destination.

There are very few things you dislike more than the need for small talk.

Quiet summer night... Can't sleep...
I got up ... went to the kitchen ... opened the window ... lit a cigarette ...
How quiet....What a night...The trees are not moving...as if they are sleeping.
The sky is full of stars...
Silence...

It feels like ... as if you are all alone in the whole world ... Alone ... Lonely ... Lonely man ...
Being alone with yourself ... various thoughts come to mind ...

Who are the loners?

Eccentrics?
- Intellectuals?
- Originals?
- Blessed?
- Spiritual seekers?
- Abnormal?
- Geeky?...

Or maybe all of the above and defines - ONE PERSON? ...

Loneliness - is it the choice of the person himself or the choice of society, which gives the definition of "SINGLE"?

It will probably not be a secret for anyone ... that lonely people ... or as they are also called - Loners ... in their lives are introverts.

What does an introvert look like...

In psychology, two fundamentally different types of personality are known: extroverts and introverts ...
To understand in more detail ... who is who ... we can later ... if, of course, it will be interesting ...
In the meantime ... I want to touch only on singles ... that is - Introverts ...

The life of an introvert boils inside him and only grains fall outside.
He is rich in his inner emotional world, romantic, but for some reason it is hidden deep inside.
Outside, we see a restrained person who owns his emotions and does not show them.

It was the same in my youth.
An introvert maintains relationships with people at the cost of not expressing his feelings and thoughts.

The reasons why an introvert is what he is are different: these are constitutional (innate) features, and features of upbringing, and features of the influence of the environment.
The leading feature of a loner in life is a disinclination to external communication.

Such a person is difficult to understand.
Its main feature is the difficulty in transferring the internal mode of operation to the external communicative mode.
The listener has to strain to delve into the complex and associative, sometimes bizarre, world of the "loner" and shrug his shoulders in perplexity.

Understanding this, the "loner" turns on his hyper-reflection, suffering from his communicative failure, and is so zealous in it that he loses his freedom of expression.
And it turns out a vicious circle.
It is impossible to express what you think - "they will not understand", and with increased control over statements, you begin to sculpt and fence such that you immediately realize that you are speaking at all "not about that."
Such a paradox.
And therefore for singles - "the thought uttered - is a lie" (Tyutchev).

There is nothing left but to remain "in oneself".

With creative talents, this promises unusual self-expression (according to Freud, sublimation), and sometimes amazing finds - poetry, literary talent, innovation in technology, scientific ideas, creativity in painting, music, dance, etc.
With all this, people "loner" seems like a person with oddities.

Self-immersion makes him silent.
However, the silent man has an overly "talkative" subconscious and his written speech is richer than the spoken one.
Quite justifiably, a loner feels his dissimilarity to others.
He often doesn't show his feelings openly...but he lives in them...
But if he believed you, imbued, he will treat you very carefully ... appreciate these relationships ...
But it's enough to deceive him at least once ... or just show your "coldness" in the former hot relationship ... this can "kill" him ... drive him into a corner ... make him stop trusting people ...

The ideal situation with a "loner" is a face-to-face conversation. The presence of others puts pressure on him and leaves him speechless.

So who are they, singles in life?
This is aliens.
But everyone has his own planet, his rich inner world, where he does not invite anyone or invites "chosen ones".
The world of the loner has a very narrow way out.
These people are intelligent, erudite and educated.
Raised to not impose their existence on others.
Philosophically comprehending life and its place in it.

Hence a lot of problems - with communication. They often feel out of place.

At its core, introversion is a type of temperament.
This is not at all like shyness or aloofness, it is not a pathology.
In addition, this personality trait cannot be changed, even if you really want to.
But you can teach to work with it, not against it.

The most important distinguishing feature of introverts lies in the source of energy: introverts draw energy from their inner world of ideas, emotions and impressions.
They conserve energy.
Introverts, who are able to balance energy needs, have resilience and perseverance, can look at things independently, focus deeply and work creatively.

Introverts are like a rechargeable electric battery.
They need to periodically stop, stop wasting energy and rest in order to recharge again.
It is the opportunity to recharge that provides introverts with a less exciting environment.
In it, they restore energy.
This is their natural ecological niche.

So...SINGLE = INTROVERT...?...

And among you there are ... INTROVERTS? ...