The lover didn't come. I am the mistress of a married man and I have little of his attention. Does not call or write: how to fix the situation

So what are the benefits of this position?

A woman owes nothing to anyone. Agree, at least once in your life you dreamed of an easy relationship in which no one puts pressure on you. You don't have to devote all your free time to your man. If you wish, you can have relationships with several young people. And you don't have to feel guilty about a permanent partner (of course, if you don't have a spouse).

Great relationship experience. Communication with the opposite sex allows us to better learn to understand people. Any relationship is a valuable experience that helps us work on our own mistakes.

Good time. Contrary to popular belief, a married lover can give you not only enchanting sex, but also exciting communication. Many couples enjoy visiting theaters, exhibitions, and make small trips. A new person in your life can help you find an incentive for self-development and self-improvement.

Distraction from life. Unfortunately, it is everyday life that causes cooling of feelings in many couples. On this basis, quarrels and misunderstandings often arise. With a married lover, you can forget about all these problems. Meeting with him is a celebration of romance.

Fresh emotions. How often in life there are not enough new feelings that make us take a different look at the world. The wise mistress of a married man enjoys secret dates, finding in this position some special zest and piquancy. If you are looking for just such sensations, then periodically you will have to change your lover.

Material support. By becoming the mistress of a wealthy man, you will be able to receive pleasant gifts from him that you could not afford before. There is nothing shameful in this: you give him positive emotions, and he indulges you with luxurious surprises.

Lover can provide material support

Why does a man need a mistress?

Speaking about the rules of conduct for the mistress of a married man, you should first understand why men decide to cheat on their spouses. What do the representatives of the stronger sex really want from girls? Here are the main causes of adultery:

A mature man wants to feel young and reckless again. To do this, he chooses young and pretty girls who are ready to give him their own time.

The man is tired of permanent relationship that are filled with scandals and quarrels. He is looking for an opportunity to pour out his soul and talk about his own problems. A man expects understanding and moral support from his mistress. This is not a wife who saws him almost every second.

Having lived for several years in marriage, a man realizes that he lacks fresh emotions. At home, he is met by the same woman, dressed in the same housecoat. He knows every inch of her body, thoroughly learned what brings her pleasure in bed. He memorizes the names of her favorite perfumes and TV shows. He simply lacks variety, not only in sex, but also in relationships.

Sometimes a man wants new emotions

Problems in bed. Intimate relationships in the family often gradually come to naught. Unfortunately, first of all, the spouses are to blame for this, who cease to monitor their own figure and appearance. There are also women who are practically indifferent to sex. So a man has to look for satisfaction on the side.

Revenge. Suspecting or convicting a spouse of treason, not every man decides to divorce. Some Husbands Just Have Mistresses Who Help Them improve self-esteem.

Thus, in a mistress, a man first of all looks for what he lacks in his own family. And these are exactly the things that once accompanied the beginning of a relationship with his current wife.

A man never decides to cheat in order to start a new family. From this follows the first rule of behavior of the mistress of a married man: never and under no circumstances should you wait for the continuation of the relationship. By allowing yourself to think that one day he will leave his wife and come to you, you doom yourself to suffering. Do you need it?

Do not try to tie a man to you with some gifts and cute surprises. Ties, lighters, perfumes set aside for a permanent partner with whom you will be associated serious relationship. Best gift for a lover, it's you. In beautiful linen, neat outfit, with good styling and natural make-up. Don't be a caring mom.

Don't get in personal life your lover. Asking him about the family, you most likely will not hear any truth. Most often, men tell their mistresses that they live with their spouses, like neighbors, there is no intimate relationship between them, and indeed they sleep in different beds. Naive girls believe in this nonsense and ... invent feelings for themselves on the part of a man. At the same time, the hero-lover himself is having a great time with you and his wife.

A lover should have a private life

Realize that the spouse will be in the first place for a man. Let the feelings fade away, even if they really have problems with sex, but they are connected by long years of living together and, possibly, common children. In addition, according to numerous surveys, a small percentage of men are ready to sacrifice their usual comfortable living conditions for the sake of a new adventure. Having enjoyed your company, he will go home, where dinner prepared by his wife awaits him. And it's not worth making a tragedy out of this either.

Do not try to become his second wife. If it turns out that you really fell in love with a lover, do not seek to take him away from the family by ironing his shirts or pampering him with gourmet treats. In this situation, his interest in you will gradually fade away, because there will be no intrigue left.

Do not introduce a man to relatives. Most likely, the offer of such a meeting will simply repel the lover, who will decide that you have some kind of views on him. This rule does not apply to friends and acquaintances.

Are you expecting gifts and expensive surprises from your lover? In that case, from the very beginning you should behave like a real lady. When you visit a restaurant for the first time, you should not take your wallet out of your purse and try to pay for yourself. Also teach a man to come to visit you not empty-handed. At the very least, a bouquet of daisies must be present. Be for him a weak and desirable girl.

Do not devote a man to your personal life. You have every right to communicate with other males. Let him know that your relationship will last exactly as long as you want, not him.

Talk to him directly about what you don't like about your relationship. For example, while at your house, he switches the TV to a sports channel. Or he is constantly late for meetings for no good reason. Do not be silent and do not pretend to be a sufferer. A man should know that in front of him is a self-sufficient and self-confident girl. You don't have to play by his rules.

Be busy doing something. In addition to work, you should find an interesting hobby for yourself. Go to the gym, Chinese language classes, literature club, go to theaters, etc. A busy life schedule will not only make your life brighter, but also show your lover that he is not the center of the universe for you. Let the man independently adjust to the rhythm of your life and find time for dates.

You must always be a little busy with your own affairs.

A smart girl uses many ways to entice a man, and a wise woman does it in such a way that the man is sure that everything happens solely on his initiative. In no case should he decide that you are seeking him, and not he you.

Don't be hysterical. If a man once canceled a meeting or was unable to attend a holiday because of his wife, you should not make a scandal. Pretend that you simply did not notice this or considered what happened to be a trifle. Otherwise, very soon your relationship will simply come to naught.

Advice for married women who have a married lover

Relationships between not free people are the most convenient option for connections on the side, because in this situation, you both understand that you are not held by any obligations. However, in this situation, a woman has a serious problem: she needs to make every effort so that her husband does not find out about the side connection. To do this, you will need to follow these tips:

Never choose as a lover a man who knows your spouse. Often, the best friends of husbands become the object of sympathy for girls. But this option should be immediately abandoned. Sooner or later, the secret will be revealed.

What does a woman who has a lover look like? New emotions overwhelm her. She smiles and flies on the wings of passion. In the eyes of the girl it is noticeable that pleasant changes have taken place in her life. Many ladies begin to pay increased attention to their appearance. An attentive husband will immediately notice that something is wrong with you. Immediately descend from heaven to earth and stop doing combat makeup in the morning. Try to make sure that your face does not express anything superfluous.

Glitter in the eyes can give out the presence of a lover

1. A married lady who has taken a lover begins to come after work much later. Naturally, she informs her husband that she has a lot of things to do, papers that need to be drawn up, meetings, etc. Finding out the true reason for this behavior is quite simple. Use an alternative method.

Get yourself a girlfriend with whom you supposedly will attend various events in the city. It is even worth inviting a friend for a tea party at your home. 1-2 times a week you can justify your absence by meeting with her. If you wish, you can meet with your lover even on weekends. To do this, inform your husband in advance that you are going with Masha / Katya / Sveta to some fashion exhibition that obviously will not interest him. You can even invite your husband to this event. Obviously, he would rather watch football or go fishing with his friends.

A good lover will give you some gifts from time to time. If you have new jewelry or expensive dresses, come up with a believable story about the death of a wealthy distant relative of your mother or aunt. Remember: all labels from things must be thrown away immediately. If the husband suspects something is wrong, he can take a walk to where he was goods purchased. He can easily find out when the purchase was made and how it was paid.

What to do if a lover invites you on a short trip for a few days? Traveling is a smart option. It is desirable that the final destination is not known to your spouse. Naturally, this option is dangerous if your husband is well acquainted with your superiors or employees.

Any correspondence with a lover must be conducted on a work computer. Use your home laptop exclusively for other purposes. Otherwise, you risk one day forgetting to get out of social network, and the entire dialogue will be successfully read by the jealous.

Try not to communicate with your lover on the phone at a time when the husband is at home. If there is an urgent need to call the object of passion, think that you urgently need to go to the nearest store for bread. Next time, go take out the trash or take your dog for a walk.

After a passionate evening with a lover, do not rush to go to the bathroom. An observant spouse may think that you are trying to quickly wash away the traces of a vicious relationship.

Do not forget that you need to fulfill your marital duty in bed. If you start constantly denying your husband intimacy, he will immediately understand what is happening. Try not to change intimate behavior and not demonstrate new skills to your spouse.

Do not allow your lover to leave traces of your sexual games on the body. Scratches, hickeys are direct evidence of your extramarital affair. Any arguments are powerless against such evidence.

A husband can find out about a lover by finding traces of love games on the body

Be in touch at any time. When away from home, never turn off your phone. Pick up the phone, even while in bed with your lover. Confusion can easily be explained by being in the gym, rushing to a meeting, missing the last bus, and so on. In this case, the risk of suspicion on the part of the spouse will be minimized.

Try to make sure that the lover does not have any evidence of your relationship. We are talking about joint photographs or even videos ... There are situations when a woman, having decided to leave her lover, is blackmailed by him. Protect yourself in advance, because you can never predict what might await you.

Pamper your spouse with delicious dinners, devote enough time to your children. Remember that a lover is a temporary phenomenon. And the family requires full attention from you.

Don't tell literally anyone about your lover. Even best friend may turn out to be a rare bitch. Be prudent. You can only trust yourself with such serious secrets. Of course, in no case should you start a personal diary.

Never give in to the temptation to confess to your husband of infidelity. Even if he somehow finds out that there are rumors that you have a lover. Even if the lover decides to annoy you and calls his spouse (and this happens)! In the most unfortunate situation, you can pretend to be a victim and say that your lover slandered you because you refused to enter into an intimate relationship with him.

Do not carry condoms in your purse if you and your husband do not use this method of contraception. It is better to buy condoms just before a date.

Do not, under any circumstances, bring your lover to your home. Even if the spouse is on a long business trip, you may be noticed by “friendly” neighbors who will gladly tell your spouse about what is happening. The ideal option is dates on neutral territory.

How to take a lover out of the family?

Unfortunately, romantic women are not always able to maintain their composure. Many ladies fall hopelessly in love with married lovers. What to do in that situation if you have really strong feelings for this particular man? According to statistics, no more than 5-7 percent of unfaithful spouses go to mistresses. But there is always a chance. The main thing is to follow wise advice:

Remember that if a man has not left the family after a year of your relationship, he will never do this. Therefore, it is necessary to act much earlier.

Try to study your lover well. He will probably constantly tell you about himself, problems in relations with his wife. Learn his habits and personality traits.

Let him know that he can trust you. Be an attentive listener and interlocutor. Keep all his secrets and problems in strict confidence. Do not refuse the help and support he needs if you are able to do something for him.

Remember that a man will leave his wife only for the sake of a mistress who will be much better than her. Therefore, you need to make time for your appearance, go to the gym and always look as neat as possible.

Take care of intellectual enrichment. Men love women who can keep up a smart conversation on any life topic. At the same time, you should not try to show your superiority.

Try not to disturb the man with your own problems. He should not see your tears and tantrums. With you, he should constantly feel warmth and joy.

If the object of your passion is over 40 years old, you should exercise maximum caution. You need to determine what this man really wants. Accustomed to many years of marriage, he can only go to that mistress who can provide him with the most comfortable living conditions.

Learn different sexual techniques. You have to become a real master in this matter. Returning home, a man should feel that something is missing.

Try not to touch the financial issue. If you need to find out the income level of a loved one, do it indirectly.

- Never wonder about the future of your relationship. Otherwise, the man will immediately understand that you are very much in love with him. And that means the game is lost.

• If a man has children, try to show a sincere interest in this issue. Surely he will be happy to talk about his kids. Even if a man has fallen out of love with his wife, he will never give up his children. Your inquiries will show your lover that, in the event of your reunion, you will gladly accept his daughter or son. And no problems like "The new wife does not allow to see the children from the first marriage" will not arise.

How to break up with a married lover?

If you realize that your relationship is hopeless, and over time you become more attached to a man, think about how to break this painful connection for you. First of all, you need to understand that your leaving is a conscious choice that will allow you to start a new life without the same pain. If you decide to break up, don't change your mind. Do not expect a married lover to change his mind and leave the family. Most likely, after a while he will simply find a new mistress. Remember that a girl's youth passes very quickly. If you cannot imagine your life without a full-fledged family, give up married lovers once and for all.

The first few weeks after breaking up with a married lover, try to spend in the company of people close to you. You may need to change your phone number (in case it rings). A good way out of the situation would be a short trip to another city or country. There you can unwind and relax mentally.

You should not withdraw into yourself and think that your former man – best person in the world and you won't find anything like it anymore. Understand that your love would not torment you. If you are lonely, allow yourself to start a new romance with a free young man. Even if he does not become your husband, you are guaranteed to receive a charge of positive energy.

We hope that this article has helped you get rid of many of the problems that mistresses of married men face. In any case, you should start taking things a little easier. You are the creator of your own destiny!

One hassle with these married lovers! Either he swears love and devotion, then he gets you jealous, then he suddenly becomes cold and indifferent, then he disappears from sight altogether. Doesn't call or text at all!

And it’s impossible to find out the reasons for his absence - his wife is next to him, it’s dangerous. How to understand his strange behavior if he suddenly became invisible to you?

If his wife took control

Do some mistresses really not understand the seriousness of a man's family life? His wife, like most women, has intuition, and if her wife puts her somewhere in the wrong place, she feels it.

Men are not sheep either, and when a wife tries to convict her unfaithful of something, he also feels it. Everything stops - calls, secret correspondence, dates, because the man was pinned down, and he is trying to become an exemplary family man.

The wife is messing around:

Looks at all calls and messages in his phone.

Follows the movement of the spouse - where he was, at what time and how soon he returns home.

For a while, the "shop" will be closed. It all depends on the trust of lovers and the patience of the passion of the unfaithful spouse. He may be able to find one minute to call his mistress and say in the voice of a conspirator that at the time of their meeting and communication should be stopped, and he will explain everything as far as possible.

As a rule, the vigilance of the wife soon subsides if the husband behaves decently. Only later, at a new meeting, can he really explain everything to his mistress. Of course, he will lie a little to her - they say that the children were sick, he was busy at work and the like. Well, he must show himself to be a man, and not henpecked.

If there is a serious problem

Sometimes it happens like this - Life is going smoothly, and then something changes dramatically: illness or the departure of loved ones to another world, trouble at work, the collapse of everything. It's not about personal life.

It would seem that only yesterday you had sex with your lover, and today he drops your calls and doesn’t even write anything. There is no need to panic and constantly ring him up - if during the dates there was not even a hint of parting, then something is wrong here.

Wait time. Just track his actions and learn about him:

• go to social networks - does he appear there?
• Ask your mutual friends if something happened?
• expect a call - perhaps he is just making time for him.

If you found out about some grandiose changes in his life that knocked him down, then do not interfere with him yet. He is not up to you. In such an unpleasant situation, you can only anger him with your flickering.

If he lost interest in you

Yes, it happens. What makes you think that you are his half? He may have liked sex with you, it was nice to communicate, but it's over. He didn’t build plans for you, but he couldn’t say it in the forehead - he was afraid to offend or lose enchanting sex.

How to understand that his passion for you is fading:

• he calls you on a date less and less, referring to employment;
• he answers your calls with few words, trying to end the conversation;
• he stops calling and writing himself - he simply ignores.

He may have found a replacement for you. You understand for yourself that there is nothing to your fault - you did not try to steal him from the family and marry him to yourself, you just silently always waited and endured. And he got bored with your inertia, so he decided to exchange you for a new “tolerant” for love relationships in order to renew his feelings - there was not enough sharpness.

Well, if that's the case, then you can tickle his nerves. In the article you will read how you can wipe the nose of this traitor-tempter. Just make sure first that he is really tired of you, and there are no other reasons for his silence.

If you become too dangerous for him

There are mistresses who do not want to come to terms with their low status. "Get someone else's man by all means!" - this is the motto of such stickies, even if there was a light, short-term affair with him. A married man quickly understands what he has gotten himself into and tries to make his legs out of such a sweetheart, not knowing where to put himself from her persecution.

But the mistress has her own plans:

She either threatens or sobs asks her lover to give her maximum attention, love and tenderness.

She does everything to ensure that his legal wife finds out about the betrayal, so she talks about her connection to all her friends.

She calls him at work, then home in the middle of the night, then cries, then threatens suicide, behaving like a maniac.

Such fangirl really creates a dangerous problem. Measures are needed against her, and the man takes them:

He blacklists it everywhere - on the phone, on social networks, and even in his thoughts.

Repeatedly invites her to leave in an amicable way and even begins to threaten with hints.

He explains to his wife that he is being attacked by some bitchy fanatic with whom he had nothing.

If you belong to this type of mistress, then you are unpleasant to almost all men. Even bachelors run away from such girls - they don’t like Velcro. You need to learn to respect yourself in order to find your soul mate, and not grab on to other people's men.

Reconsider your attitude towards yourself and towards men. The article should help you. That's when you marry a free man, you will understand how terrible it is that some bitch is trying to undermine your family microclimate with her calls and messages. And then let your husband prove that he is not a camel.

If he tries to re-educate you

There is such a type of men - he sits his beloved in front of him and says that he breaks off any relationship with her, and let her guess what the problem is. And then disappears. A kind of psychological sadism.

No, he does not interrupt communication with her and does not blacklist her. But he continues his tyranny, humiliating his mistress with ridiculous guesses. Such men resemble a naive schoolgirl who was offended by a guy, and he must guess why she is sitting puffed up.

As a rule, there are a lot of troubles with such a man:

He is selfish. You can read about such men in the article.

He loves only himself. Wife, mistress, friends - all this is a disrespectful retinue for His Majesty, nothing more.

It’s easier to stop meeting with such a person than to play riddles and riddles all your life. Even if the mistress manages to unravel his bzik, it is not a fact that he will immediately forgive and run to her in bed. He will give her time to correct, and then he will personally check whether she really became a good girl for him.

Don't lie to yourself

Some women try to justify their married lovers for a long silence: they say that the phone lost or changed the SIM card, his social network page was hacked, and so on. It’s a pity for such poor people, because now there are not the technologies to manage to lose each other.

A truly in love man will get his adored woman out of the ground, if necessary, even without any telephones and the Internet. Therefore, if nothing catastrophic happened in his life, then the lover's silence is most likely the first bell to part.

Take it for granted - it means that love on his part is no longer the same, passion is not raging, and he doesn’t need you anymore. But even here there are pluses: from the moment of his silence, the time for weaning began. You don’t have to sort things out with him, twitch from window to door waiting for him, the dots over the “i” seem to be placed.

It's a shame this understatement, of course, but it's easier. It is worse when they specifically throw you, saying nasty things in your face.

Finally, an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.

Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

If you're interested, you can. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.

If a man stops calling his beloved, then there must be reasons for this. Perhaps she has ceased to interest him. In any case, you first need to understand the situation, and only then draw certain conclusions and think about what to do next.

Very often, women have to deal with a situation where a lover suddenly stops calling. However, the reasons for this behavior can only be guessed at.

This can happen in every couple and without any apparent reason. The woman feels hurt by this. Most of the time, she doesn't even know what to do. Psychologists assure that there are no hopeless situations, and first you need to understand the problem, find out the real reasons for this partner's behavior, and only then make any decision.

Most often, this behavior can be explained by a serious offense. You need to try to remember if there was such a situation that could hurt the lover with something. Perhaps the woman spoke incorrectly in his direction or in the direction of his friends, acquaintances. If this actually happened, you can call the man and talk to him frankly. At the same time, you must definitely ask for forgiveness if the woman is actually to blame.

To find out the real reasons why a lover stopped calling, you can use the help of mutual friends. You should ask them to talk to the man and ask what caused this inexplicable behavior. But this can only be trusted to the person to whom the woman has confidence.

If a woman does not want to take the first step, she can create a situation in which a meeting with her lover will be inevitable. For example, you can attend the event that the man was going to, go to visit mutual friends, or just meet him on the street. At the same time, you should not tell him that the meeting was pre-planned. Let the man think that it happened quite by accident. Left alone, you can directly ask him about the reasons for this behavior. Perhaps something happened to him and circumstances appeared that did not allow him to seek meetings with his beloved. If the reason turns out to be valid, you should not make scandals and make any claims to your lover and reproach him for inattention. You just need to tell him about your feelings and worries. You also need to try to convey to him that in the future such situations should not be repeated. loving friend other people must constantly be in touch and cannot be separated for a long time.

If the lover is not free, you need to understand that such situations will be repeated in the future. AT this case a woman needs to either come to terms with the situation, or stop communicating with such a man, since in such an attitude these relationships will only bring suffering.

If the reason lies in the man himself, the woman needs to act more carefully. Such behavior may also mean that he no longer wants to meet his beloved and would like to part with her, but he himself cannot tell her this. Unfortunately, these situations are quite common. A woman needs to feel such a change in the mood of her lover and step aside for a while. Psychologists say that it is quite simple to do this. Such a change of mood does not happen suddenly. Surely, the man had been behaving strangely for a long time, refusing to meet with his beloved. It is quite natural that if a woman does not understand such transparent hints, at some point he stops calling her. In this situation, showdowns or scandals will not lead to anything good. A woman just needs to wait out the moment. Perhaps her man will get lonely without her and he will want to call her. If he does not do this, then nothing can be done in this case. You can't force someone to love themselves. Perhaps the woman should have behaved less intrusively before. But waiting for time does not mean at all that you need to sit at home and wait for your lover to call. You need to do your own thing, spend more time on your hobby. If a woman is married, then in no case should she demonstrate her feelings to loved ones. It should be remembered that a cheerful, self-confident representative of the fair sex attracts men. If a woman and her lover have common acquaintances, they will definitely inform her lover that she is doing well, that she looks good. Hearing about this, the man will definitely want to call her. If mutual acquaintances, on the contrary, will talk about how she suffers and sits at home all day, waiting for a call, this will not lead to anything good. Surely, the lover will want to completely forget his former passion. It should be remembered that in any situation you need to think about yourself first. Do not lose your dignity under any circumstances. As a rule, this does not help solve the problem, but only complicates the situation. Even if a woman achieves that her lover resumes meeting with her, a heavy residue remains in her soul.

Sometimes it also happens that a man stops calling just because he lost his mistress's phone number, or lost his own telephone set with all his contacts. Such an absurd situation can destroy relationships if young people have not yet had time to get to know each other well.

If the lover does not call, you need to find out the reason, and only then think about how to solve this problem. Perhaps the woman does not need to do anything, since the man is not interested in continuing the relationship. Excessive obsession will only aggravate the situation.

Relationships with a married man come with limitations and inconveniences. Often you can't just pick up and call your lover. Therefore, when he himself does not get in touch for a long time, the woman can only guess about the reasons and try to find a way out of the situation. What to do in such a situation and what is the best thing to do if the lover does not call - should I call myself or just wait until he finds the time?

The disappearance of a man can be alarming, and the darkest thoughts will come to mind first. But the reasons can be very different - from losing your phone to a blockage at work. Do not panic ahead of time. Analyze the events that preceded the disappearance of a man, and try to understand the real reason why a lover rarely calls.

Wife took control

If the lover is married, it is worth considering the most obvious reason for the lull - the vigilance of the wife. Two people living together for a long time know each other's habits. The slightest change in behavior, attitude, or daily routine can arouse suspicion. In such situations, a man will try to show himself as an exemplary family man, and not betray his secret relationship in any way.

If a wife suspects her husband of infidelity, nothing will escape her attention.

Absolutely everything is subjected to verification and control by the wife in the event of suspicion:

• phone calls;
• correspondence by SMS and messengers;
• social media;
• travel routes and meetings with friends.

The lover does not write at this time, it is easier for him to “hide low” for a while and stop contacting. The question of whether he will have time to inform and explain the situation to his mistress remains open.

In such a situation, it remains only to wait until the wife has doubts about her husband's infidelity and the lover continues to communicate with you. In some families, a week of calm is enough, and somewhere, even within a month, the spouse will carefully check the missus.

Serious problem

No one is immune from problems in life. Trouble can happen both with the man himself, and with someone from his relatives. At this point, all other questions fade into the background. And he may not even think about calling and explaining everything to his mistress. After all, she is not a member of the family, which means that these problems should not concern her. That's why the lover stopped writing.

Serious illness can develop in a few hours.

How soon he will resume communication depends on the severity of the problem and the time it takes to resolve it. Perhaps in a few days everything will be normal, and he will resume meetings. But, it is possible that the problem takes up all the free time or a move is required to solve it (a change in the usual daily routine, long journeys, etc.).

Lost interest

If the lover does not call, perhaps he has simply lost interest in his passion. Feelings are unpredictable, and passion can go away as suddenly as it appeared. Analyze your relationship before his sudden disappearance - do you remember the bells that preceded this?

Typically, the fading of interest occurs gradually, so you may have noticed hints of this:

• daily compliments disappear;
• eyes do not burn with admiration when he looks at you;
• sexual fervor decreases;
• irritation slips in communication;
• meetings are getting shorter;
• he called less often;
• refusals and excuses when you offer to meet, etc.

Usually such changes do not go unnoticed. Although the man could explain this by high workload at work, fatigue and other reasons. But remember that he can deceive not only his wife, but also his mistress.

Communication became dangerous for him

"Blessed" could stop calling and writing, because he felt in you a threat to his family life or career. During a disagreement, you might inadvertently say that you would tell his wife or colleagues about your relationship. After such a phrase, even if it was an empty threat, he can get scared and play it safe.

The same effect may be due to the desire of the mistress to take the place of his wife. Some men clearly separate family life and entertainment on the side. And if there is a threat to comfortable conditions, he would rather sacrifice his mistress than his wife.

According to statistics, only 5% of men leave their wife for a mistress.

Think about your behavior and words in the past - did he have reason to be afraid of you? If you have repeatedly raised issues that are unpleasant for him or tried to blackmail, nothing can be fixed. Even if you try to convince him that it was a joke and change your mind, he will no longer be able to relax in a relationship. But it is for this purpose that lovers are usually brought in. It doesn't matter if he's married or single.

Tries to re-educate

Another reason that he does not answer calls and does not appear may be a certain "tyranny". There is a type of men who are trying to assert themselves at the expense of their women - wives and mistresses. These are selfish, authoritarian individuals who require unquestioning obedience.

If it seems to him that the mistress was unfaithful, rude, disobedient or not courteous enough, he will be offended and interrupt communication. But he would prefer that she herself guess what exactly he was offended by and corrected her behavior. Explaining his suspicions and calmly discussing the situation is not his style.

He will not completely interrupt the connection in order to give an opportunity to apologize and make amends. But communication will be cold, rare, only on his initiative. By the behavior it will be clear that he is dissatisfied and is waiting for an apology.

An offended egoist will wait for an apology, even if you are not guilty.

What to do if a lover stopped communicating because of his own conceit? Unfortunately, there is only one solution - you need to apologize, repent and fulfill all the whims of a man. Only in this way can you return his location and continue the relationship. Until his next attack.

Although it is better to completely stop communicating and get out of his game. Why do we need a relationship in which, if a lover does not call for a couple of days, you need to go through all your words and actions in your head, looking for a mistake.

He only cares about sex

Sometimes the reasons for rare calls are quite simple - a man simply has nothing to talk about with you. Husbands often go left just for good sex and variety, and get companionship and romance from their wife. In this case, he will contact his mistress only to arrange a meeting.

If he's only interested in sex, don't expect intimate conversations.

Such men and in the early stages do not show much craving for communication. But under the power of feelings, women can see everything in “pink”, romanticize their lover. Consider silence as male taciturnity, lack of compliments as shyness and find other justifications for all his actions.

Focus on your desires. If you are satisfied with rare meetings only for bed comforts, then continue the relationship. Just do not wait for romantic SMS, good morning wishes or just confidential conversations in the evenings. And if it’s unpleasant for you that your lover doesn’t call or write between meetings, it’s better to find another gentleman who will be happy to communicate with you.

Do I need to call first

Married men usually immediately warn their mistresses that they are not free. This fact imposes some restrictions on relationships, including calls. In some cases, a lover can tell you what time to call so as not to get caught by his wife. As a rule, these are working hours and travel time to and from the office.

But realizing the delicacy of the situation, women often agree not to call him at all. Then the initiative passes completely into his hands. In such situations, if a man does not call for a long time, it remains either to wait for him to do it first, or to call herself. But is it necessary to do it?

To call or not to call - often the future of relationships depends on it.

Everything depends on the situation. Try to figure out the reasons why a man does not contact you. Without communication, this will not be easy, but by studying the common causes from above, you can try on the situation for yourself and determine the potential cause.

To call or not to call first depends on the specific situation. If you realize that the relationship has become obsolete, or you find out that the wife has increased control, then you should not call. In the first case, you are unlikely to be able to change the situation, in the second, you can only aggravate his precarious situation with a call.

If, because of your call, a man quarrels with his wife, most likely he will be angry and the relationship will be in question.

What to do and how to behave

For your own peace of mind, you can try to contact your lover. But it is better to do it neutrally - from another phone and write a message, pretending to be a colleague. Write a hidden message that a lover will understand, but his wife, when read, will consider it a business letter.

Igor Viktorovich, we did not receive the last report for the week. Send again. Larisa Petrovna.

By the answer or its absence, you will be able to understand the situation. The main thing is that the man decipher your message and be able to come up with a suitable answer.

But if you have suspicions that this is not a forced silence, and the lover does not call you up for personal reasons (trying to break or punish), it is better to lie low. Do not write, do not try to cross paths near work, do not ask the details of his life from mutual acquaintances. Ignore him as much as he ignores you.

Move on as if you already broke up. Do what you love, communicate with different people, meet men - this way you will be distracted from thoughts about him and brighten up the time before the call. And in some situations, he returns, seeing that the mistress is self-sufficient and strong personality. These are attractive.

Prevention

Any doctor will tell you that it is easier to provide prevention than to treat the consequences of the disease. The same rule applies here as well. Make sure he needs you. And not just for sex. Need to bring him to different areas support, understanding, professional help. All this can become additional anchors that will keep the lover nearby in a critical situation. In this situation, he will look for every opportunity to call, meet or write.

Becoming indispensable is easy:

1. Meetings should be enjoyable for both of you. During a meeting with his mistress, a man wants to relax and have fun. Do not reproach him, nag, blackmail or torture him with interrogations. If you like your meetings, enjoy every moment and give pleasure to it. But if you don’t experience any positive emotions from meetings, then there is no point in continuing the relationship.
2. liberated sex. Not all men can afford to live out their sexual fantasies in the bedroom with their wife. But no one is stopping you from trying something new. Unusual sensations and novelty always attract and beckon. The promise of enchanting sex can make a man call, whatever the reasons for his silence.
3. Break up on your own initiative. But it is worth doing as a preventive measure when the relationship is at an emotional peak. Realizing that he can lose you, he will try to avoid this by any means. In the future, he will appreciate what he has much more.
4. Enjoy every meeting. Everyday worries and worries leave their mark on relationships. The wife is no longer waiting with such impatience and trepidation for his return from work. But this should not concern you. Here you can even overplay a little, violently expressing your joy at a meeting or phone call. It is remembered, and at the thought of you, he will remember it with a smile. Pleasant memories will help him to miss and suffer without you.
5. Make yourself respect. To do this, you first need to value and respect yourself. The lover should fit comfortably into your life so that you don't have to cancel your plans or drive across town to meet him. A couple of times you can refuse a date, change the meeting place or time. Show that you do not depend on your lover and do not live only for him. If a man respects you, he will not allow himself to just silently disappear from your life. After all, a confident woman may not wait for his return.

Conspiracies to make a lover call

If all the previous tips do not help, you can resort to folk methods. Healers have conspiracies for all occasions. But no one guarantees you the result in this case. Some argue that conspiracies work only if you believe in them sacredly, others that they acquire their power only if a person has certain powers.

If a married lover does not show initiative at first, then you can kindle interest in him and get him to call with the help of the following conspiracy.

“My dear (name), who met me once, why are you silent for so long, don’t write, don’t call and don’t talk to me? Take your phone quickly and dial my number! Your soul (name) will be filled with joy when you hear my voice in the receiver!

At the same time, it is important to imagine your loved one and how he is already dialing your number. This kind of visualization will enhance the effect of the magic words. This technique will be effective for relationships that are at the initial stages of development.

If you understand that the former passion has faded away, and a married man does not come for this reason, then a stronger conspiracy is used to renew feelings.

“(Name), remember our joy, remember our happiness! Remember how you were desired! After all, I am your happiness, joy and love! Take the offense, dial my number, return our happiness!”

Relationships with a married man are always difficult. You have to compromise, restrain yourself and hide from prying eyes. The situation becomes even more complicated if the man does not call even at the agreed time (for example, once a week). In this case, it is worth understanding the reasons for his silence, and only then act depending on the circumstances.

Good afternoon. The situation is this. Two years ago, I began a correspondence with a stranger. I did not know his name and did not see the photo, but nevertheless we communicated well. The topics for discussion were different. This went on for exactly a year, when he offered to show himself. After we met and for a year we have been lovers. He has a family, I have no one but children. I fell in love with him very much and he knows it. We rarely meet, but the correspondence is constant. Recently, we often swear, take offense at each other. I demand more attention and care from him, he says that he cannot give me this. Although he wants to keep in touch with me, he wants to see me. He constantly demands some kind of truth from me, says that I should change, change my attitude towards him - although I run like a dog at his first call, make different romances, give gifts, but in return I get nothing but sex. This greatly torments me. I'm desperate.

I tried to part with him, for two weeks I did not answer his SMS and calls. But he himself came to me at work and everything started again. I have very strong feelings for him, and he says that he is very attached to me, even jealous. I'm not going to take him away from the family, I don't need it. But I want to be with him. I don’t know what to do to prove to him that he is no worse than his wife and also worthy of attention and care. Can you tell me what to do in this situation? I tormented myself with thoughts....

Hello Irina.

Let's try to briefly describe the situation.
You are in love with a married man. Want more attention from him. You don't want to leave your family. He is attached to you, he is not ready to give as much attention as you need. Ready to have sex. He speaks directly about this. You, however, do not seem to believe him and continue to demand the attention and care that he has already refused to give you. He, for his part, is not satisfied with your attitude towards himself.

I don’t know what to do to prove to him that he is no worse than his wife and also worthy of attention and care.

Try to answer yourself the question, how do you understand that he considers you worse than his wife, what will change, why do you think that he considers you unworthy of attention and care? Because it does not give this attention? There could be many other explanations for this. For example, he cannot, does not want, has no strength and opportunity to give it to two women, and he chooses to give attention only to his wife. This does not mean that you are not worthy of attention. This suggests that it is this man who chooses not to take care of you, or for some other reason makes a choice: not to give you as much attention as you need.
It may be that you yourself, deep down, are not very sure that you are worthy of being the only one, worthy of love, care and attention. Then by trying to prove something to him, are you really proving to yourself?
What do you feel when you think about it? Are you ready to continue the relationship without getting something important for you in them? If yes, if you're getting something else that's more important than attention, that's a perfectly understandable choice... But if not, then what makes you stay in a relationship that isn't right for you?

I tried to part with him, for two weeks I did not answer his SMS and calls. but he himself came to my work and everything started again.

Do you want to leave or not? It's just that if you made a decision, and this is your conscious choice, then a visit to work is usually not enough for a reunion ...
You may need professional help to sort yourself out.
If necessary, please contact me for a consultation. I will be glad to help you.

Sincerely, psychologist,
Makarova Lola.