Women's betrayal. Causes. Effects. Male infidelity: reasons, how to recognize and what to do Causes of infidelity

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Recently, a frequent guest has appeared in our house, a friend of my husband, who is in the process of divorce. He has nothing special to do, he went to live with his mother and now kills time in the evenings at a party or bars. So, listening to his stories about the former, who suddenly became the most fallen woman in the world, I thought about the reason for her act and even went through the entire Internet in search of a solution to this puzzle.

Since, according to the stories of the deceived husband, everything was perfect with them, he worked hard to provide for her and the children, she also worked, but did not overwork. There were two children, they lived in abundance, went on vacation, there were almost no scandals. And then, like a bolt from the blue - the betrayal of the right wife. He learned about it from her friend, who opened up after a couple of glasses of wine. The girlfriend was kicked out with a bang, the wife was backed up against the wall, where she confessed to everything. She begged to forgive her, said that she did not know why she did this, and promised never again and never for anything. He could not forgive and believes that this cannot be forgiven. They filed for divorce, she still hopes for reconciliation, and he fiercely hates the entire female sex and says that he will never marry again, because all women (I will not write this word here with the letter S).

There are many reasons for female infidelity on the Internet. It seems that they are written by offended men who do not represent the essence of the issue at all. Some of them even made me laugh: “Women cheat when they get bored, they need money, or there is a prospect of having a cooler male.” Oh, how, I don’t know what kind of “women” this poor fellow talked with, but I just want to talk about women who, after many years of living together, decided to commit adultery, fully understanding its disastrous consequences. And there are three root causes:

Reason number 1: she stopped feeling loved, turned into a wife or fighting girlfriend of life

This happens when a man begins to use his soulmate as a cook and nanny, and the quantity or quality of sex is drastically reduced. Beautiful words leave, declarations of love, romance, and the routine begins. Indeed, in our advanced age, a man works, thinks about politics and meets friends in bars, and a woman works, gives birth in agony, takes care of children and rustles around the house. At the same time, she tries to look like a beauty, and not a tortured horse, and she really wants to be loved. And now the main question: does she feel love?

Reason #2: She wants to avenge his cheating

A rare man NEVER cheats. And they change most of all just those who completely devote their lives to a partner, forgetting about their own desires. In such women, men are 100% sure, believing that they will not go anywhere. And such men give romance and care to others. A woman may not know about cheating, but intuitively feel it, because relationships in a couple are changing dramatically. And when the opportunity arises, the poor thing will certainly remember all the grievances.

Reason #3: She is sexually unsatisfied

In fact, this reason is much less common than the previous two. They do not often dare to change because of sexual dissatisfaction, however, many men, oddly enough, put this very reason almost as the main one. It seems to me that this is the prerogative of men, and in women, intimacy consists not only of physical pleasures. Although, if she stopped getting an orgasm or was left without marital caresses at all, intimacy on the side becomes not such a bad idea for her.

In general, the double behavior of women, it seems to me, follows from the behavior of both spouses. There is a saying: "Tangos are danced together." Such cases are difficult to justify, but worth investigating. At least not to make similar mistakes in the future. I know one thing: the vast majority of women would probably not decide to cheat if their partner admitted his mistakes and took at least some action to correct everything. Is not it so?

If a young man or man has doubts about the fidelity of his beloved, there are only two possible options. The first - alas, changes. The second - a friend is honest, and you are painfully suspicious. In order not to offend your beloved with undeserved reproaches, which can just destroy the happiness you have built, you must try to objectively look at the situation. It’s not easy, but you won’t have to “discover America” either: psychologists know how to understand that a girl is cheating, so a man should follow their advice, compare facts and, if necessary, take action. Until it's not too late.

The first wake-up calls

For different couples, depending on the temperament of both and the nature of the relationship, these bells can be of different heights and strengths. If, for example, a girl has always been very emotional, jealous of every “skirt”, checking her partner’s email, sawing for socks thrown anywhere, and then suddenly stopped “getting” her other half, it is highly likely that she switched to someone -something third.

Changes or not? Trust your intuition and pay attention to some of the signs described in this article.

This call is important not to miss. Although most men, rejoicing that there are fewer claims against them, let him pass by. And in vain. The situation, most likely, is at the beginning of its development: in the life of a girl, someone simply appeared who is devoid of the negative traits that annoyed her in her old partner. Perhaps she felt interest and respect for herself, which she had previously lacked, but she has not yet decided to betray.

Another bell is an interest in one's own appearance. If the man himself does not cheat on his girlfriend and she does not need to outdo the lovebird, then her trips to the gym and the pool, following diets that she had previously ignored, are evidence that she has someone to be attractive to. And this, most likely, is not her husband or permanent boyfriend, who has ceased to notice whether the polish on her nails is perfect, whether her armpits are shaved and how long the dressing gown is. This someone is the object of her new interest.

Her eyes sparkle unusually, and her cheeks blush every now and then? Perhaps her thoughts are on your rival!

By the way, the main changes in the female image are not even a new dress and expensive lace underwear, not a southern tan from a solarium, it is a gleam in the eyes and a blush on the cheeks, which you have not seen since your first dates. Remember and draw conclusions.

The behavior of a girl who cheats: what to pay attention to a guy

If a girl is cheating on a guy or is about to cross a dangerous line, she cannot remain the same. Here are some points, according to psychologists, should alert:

Referring to the above list, a young man who doubts the fidelity of his chosen one will probably tick not every position. But if in this “damn dozen inconsistencies” there are at least 5-6 of them, the suspicions are most likely justified. Already so many coincidences make it clear that the girl is cheating.

How to know for sure that a girl is sleeping with someone

The bed can finally clarify, and sometimes ... Confuse the situation. The fact is that some girls are “turned on” by the fact that they have someone else, and they transfer their passion to the guy who has been cuckolded. Some do this on purpose to lull the vigilance of the unfortunate man.

If he could only understand everything and soberly assess what is happening (alas, he is simply glad of the feelings that have washed over his girlfriend), he would have noticed an unusual behavior in the behavior of his chosen one. For example, if a girl began to bite his nipples during a love foreplay, which she had never practiced before, and he himself did not push her to such caresses, the question reasonably arises: where did the girl suddenly have such a need?

An unfaithful girl often refuses intimacy to her partner, and does not even want to kiss him

However, a more traditional development of events is when an unfaithful girl, under any pretext (and the fair sex always has a lot of them), refuses to be close to the guy she lives with. If within a few weeks the partners lie down in bed and fall asleep, each turning in his direction, this is a very alarming signal.

Another indicator of fidelity is a kiss. With the help of lips, you can say a lot to your lover - both about the strength of your feelings, and that he is the best in the world. But if the lips are silent, it's bad. The girl will not, with the same passion, kiss the one she is cheating on.

Understand the psychology of female infidelity - why and why

If a guy can change without experiencing pangs of conscience, then for the fair sex everything happens exactly the opposite, even if the girl ended up in someone else's bed as a result of sincere feelings and emotions that captured her. Experts say: 99% of women and girls who dared to betray will not be able to subsequently take it in cold blood and continue to live as if nothing special had happened in their lives.

How to understand why female infidelity happens? Here is a list of the most typical options:

As follows from the above, it is not so difficult to understand that a girl is cheating. If a man or young man suspects his girlfriend of infidelity, he persistently seeks answers to his disturbing questions, without thinking about what will happen later when the truth is revealed. Fortunately, there are several scenarios for the development of events, and not all of them are bad. Sometimes the stress of infidelity helps to revive marital relations, to return them to their original sincerity.

Cheating ... just one word, but from what it means, women are able to lose control over themselves, peace of mind, faith in humanity and the meaning of life. Still, after all, the person to whom they entrusted themselves betrayed ... And it seems that the former world collapsed, and there was nothing to believe in. But no matter how sharply the representatives of the weaker sex react to male infidelity, they are not insured with their own - when she herself betrayed (or is this not considered a betrayal?) A man, although she thought that she would never be able to commit such an act.

In fact, alas, female adultery is not such a rare phenomenon, it’s just that against the background of male infidelity that has already become commonplace, there is not much talk about it. One thing is clear - the attitude towards female infidelity is fundamentally different from the perception of male. When a representative of the fair sex is convicted of treason, she is immediately “written off” as having done something not only unworthy and unacceptable, but also not deserving of forgiveness.

The woman herself, as a rule, feels compassion and pity for her man, a sense of guilt before him, regret about what he did. After all, if betrayal was the beginning of another era in life, then it’s understandable, but what if you don’t want to lose your previous relationship? Will it be possible to save them after the betrayal? If the betrayal is forgiven, there will be a constant awareness of one’s own “fall” inside and this will interfere with normal life.

What to do? Cheating is always a search for a way out of some sharpened emotions and an internal unresolved conflict. With the exception of those cases where a woman lacks elementary concepts of morality and fidelity (we will not consider these cases), betrayal cannot arise out of the blue. Even if you are drunk, your interlocutor has perfumed himself with something unimaginably delicious smelling, his voice and body beckon, and the atmosphere around is heated with passion and everything smells of romance. Loyalty lies in being able to resist when there are so many temptations around: in the absence of temptations, devotion would not be valued so highly. All these circumstances - appearance, charisma, etc. - just pulled the trigger, which was already cocked. So why did this happen?

After a betrayal, a woman is not up to introspection, in a sense of anxiety and guilt, engaging in self-flagellation, she is not able to sensibly assess her act and discover its motives. And it is necessary to do this, at least in order to consider all possible options for further behavior, and not to chop off the shoulder. Almost no woman needs cheating as such - most often she needs change.

The psychology of female infidelity and its difference from male

From time immemorial, male adultery has been perceived as something more acceptable and forgivable than female. After all, often at the heart of male infidelity lies the primitive instinct of male reproduction. A man rarely counts intimate relationship on the side of betrayal, for him it is just a physical need that he satisfied. For him, moral betrayal is much more important - when a mistress becomes an attractive woman for him, with whom he would like to have not only sexual relations. Then he begins to give his act the status of treason and suffer from it.

Men, having a mistress, do not plan to leave their families at all. For cheating, it is not at all necessary for them to fall passionately in love with a partner, but even if feelings have arisen, a man will delay the decision to divorce for a long time. With whom to cheat, it’s not particularly important for a man either - of course, it should be a sexually attractive woman, but otherwise he doesn’t look closely at her for long - meaning her personality, emotions, etc.

But a woman cannot treat cheating as just a passing hobby in order to satisfy physiological needs. Going on a betrayal, she knows that it will turn everything upside down and that it will not be the same as before. A woman cannot choose a partner as easily and simply as a man: in addition to external attractiveness, a lover must be attractive to her as a person, and suit her emotionally. She cannot continue to think that in the meantime nothing will change in the family - everything will change for herself, she will begin to consider her partner as a life partner, because she no longer sees him in her husband.

Naturally, we are talking about those cases when the idea of ​​​​treason was accepted by a woman through painful reflections, or she succumbed to temptation against the backdrop of problems with her man. We are not talking about those who sell themselves or throw themselves from one lover to another just for the sake of sensual gratification, or when the betrayal occurred as a result of extreme intoxication.

Common causes of female infidelity

University of Colorado psychology professor Jennifer Harman argues that women usually do not cheat on partners for no reason. Yes, and men do not do this, we may object, there must always be a reason for treason. And this is true, but if the reasons for male infidelity may seem unconvincing and far-fetched to us, then a woman must definitely have a very good reason for her to “go to the left.”

Lack of attention and care from the husband

Most often, women cheat for this very reason. All day long the spouses are at work, and in the evening the woman also has the role of the keeper of the hearth - you need to cook, stroke, clean up, create comfort. And a tired husband either does not notice how she “spins”, or, taking it for granted, does not bother with words of gratitude. Strained conversations at dinner, irritability and withdrawal of the husband into himself - idle wallowing on the sofa in front of the TV, computer games, a car, etc. - all this leads a woman to apathy, unwillingness to do anything for a loved one who is not able to appreciate, loss of a sense of self-worth. Spouses are moving away from each other more and more, but it is important for a woman to know that she is desired, needed, loved, to feel like a Woman, sensual, beautiful, tender. When she doesn’t get this at home, then the treacherous idea of ​​getting it on the side begins to work - her husband doesn’t pay any attention to her, and other men flirt with her, they will appreciate her.

An eye for an eye - treason in revenge

A woman, having learned about her husband's betrayal or suspecting him of her, can be at the mercy of her own resentment for a long time, and then find a way out for her in retribution with the same coin - connections on the side. Usually, having cheated on her husband once or twice, the thirst for revenge recedes, family life returns to a new direction for a woman, but men, as a rule, are severely disappointed when they learn about such a plan of revenge. It is known that they consider female adultery a matter much lower and unforgivable than their own.

Woman's sexual dissatisfaction

Problems in bed, insufficiently rich and varied, insipid sex life or its absence at all due to the failure of a man and other reasons - all this leads to the fact that a woman wants to satisfy her sexual needs on the side.

Love for another man

There is already a high probability that after such a betrayal the family will break up: this is a desperate step, the woman who makes it knows what she is doing and has already made her choice - in favor of her lover. But even if there is no more love, you need to respect your spouse and first part with him in order to make connections while being free.

Weak husband

A strong man who treats a woman condescendingly, like a child (where there is a need for this) and moderates her emotionality with his rationalism is the ideal of any representative of the weaker sex. But there are no ideals in life, and it often happens that the character of a man is weaker than that of a woman. And then she feels her impunity and begins to "twirl" her husband, checking how far she can go. If the spouse endures all the tricks, then the last "test" may be treason.

Frequent absence of husband

No matter how much a woman loves her husband, his too frequent absence causes a habit that he is not around all the time and she “seems to be” alone. She may miss a man's shoulder, and appeared on the horizon new man, who, moreover, is not on the road, like a husband, but is constantly nearby, could become a good support. Moreover, women often deceive themselves, claiming that this is just a light flirtation that will not grow into anything more, but will distract in the absence of a husband.

Thirst for new sensations

The situation is quite common - at home everything is so “palled” and has become gray and everyday that a woman feels like she is bogged down in a quagmire of routine and grabs every opportunity to get out of it. Family life becomes predictable to the point of desperation and proceeds as if according to a schedule that can be continued for years to come. Tired of constant washing, ironing, borscht and school diaries, a woman

Can get carried away by a new man, falling out of the picture of tedious stability. With him, she feels young, desirable, and can afford not to think about dinner and family obligations. Sometimes it remains a one-time adventure, and sometimes it develops into a relationship and poses a choice.

Worthy of the best

This reason includes all of the above. Marriage seems to be a burden for a woman, but she also feels sorry for divorce or simply lacks the courage. She cannot fix something so that there is no desire to leave (or does not want to, does not know how, etc.).

Emotionally, a woman considers herself already free, because her husband is essentially a stranger, an entry in her passport, no more. That is why, having changed, she does not feel remorse and remorse. “I deserve better” - this thought will surely become obvious to the spouse, even if it was not voiced, and then the marriage begins to burst at the seams.

Consequences of female infidelity

We all know from childhood that betrayal is low, ugly, a knife in the back, a blow to the stomach. But society invariably continues to treat male adultery much more loyally than female adultery. It would seem that the consequences of a woman's betrayal are the same as those of a man's betrayal.

However, the situation is actually more complicated - "as before" for a woman who has changed, alas, will never be. This man may consider that he simply “rested” on the side and return to the family, without even thinking about parting with his wife. A man, as a rule, is looking for sex on the side, and a woman is looking for a relationship, as mentioned above.

That is why, after betrayal, a situation arises for her to choose the lesser of two evils, since in any case she is “losing”. Should I tell my husband about cheating or not? Every woman who somehow values ​​​​marriage asks this question in the throes of her conscience. It would be wiser to keep silent about the misconduct: if you tell everything to your husband, and he even forgives you and you save the family, there will no longer be trust in it. In addition, this is a hard blow to the pride of a man - he will think that you do not appreciate him and that he is no longer the best for you if you prefer another man to him.

The fact that the soul will become easier by throwing off the stone of silence is an illusion, it will not become easier. You will hurt a loved one, and he will not be able to forget it, even if he tries, even if he promises never to remind. The slightest quarrel will provoke him to accusations against you, and you will have nothing to object to. In addition, you have lost the right to jealousy - you will try to turn any misconduct of your husband into the notorious “Do I really have the right to blame him for something ?!”.

Conclusion - if you regret the betrayal and want to save the marriage - it is better not to talk about what happened. Over time, the feeling of shame may be dulled, but your spouse's pride will not be trampled.

But if betrayal in your case was a turning point, and you want to leave your loved one, then you can lay it all out. But even if you have cooled off towards each other for a long time, it is better to leave first, freeing both yourself and him from an unpleasant conversation, without spitting into his soul in the end and saving the face of a decent person.

Whether you leave or not, cheating is a serious reason to change something in yourself and in your relationship. And it is always better to prevent than to cure: if you are overcome by thoughts of betrayal, it is better to figure out where the relationship has cracked. If you don’t want to lose them, solve the problem together with your person, without going “to the side”. If you no longer need this union, it will be more honest and correct to first part, and then start a new relationship.

Male infidelity is hardly surprising, and in some cultures, polygamy is even considered acceptable. Fewer and fewer representatives of the weaker half of humanity believe in the devotion of their spouses. Society treats female adultery in a completely different way, and yet today this phenomenon is gaining momentum. Why do wives cheat on their husbands? We will analyze the reasons for this in this article.

Sex and love

So why do wives cheat on their husbands, what makes them commit such immoral acts? There are two main reasons for this: new love and the desire to take revenge on her husband. Moreover, in most cases, female infidelity occurs precisely in dysfunctional families, while men tend to “go to the left” even when they consider their marriage to be quite successful. For a man, love and sex are not the same thing, but for the fair sex, these concepts are inseparable.

By and large, women cannot imagine sex without love and commitment. Married ladies, all the more, will not behave inappropriately, unless they have a good enough reason. Sex for a woman is not just a process of intercourse, but something very significant, one might even say spiritual.

What is cheating for a woman

Female infidelities rarely occur spontaneously. Most often, ladies decide on this only after they carefully consider and weigh everything. At the same time, we can say that cheating on her husband for the fairer sex is, in a sense, a desperate step. Usually, only when family well-being is not visible and there is no faith in a happy marriage, a woman is able to decide on treason. That is why wives cheat, because sometimes such a scenario seems to a woman the only way out of this situation.

And if a man who has acted in a similar way can, as if nothing had happened, return home to his family, then for a woman there is, as a rule, no return back. From the moment of betrayal, new feelings capture her, and there may no longer be room in her heart for her once beloved husband. The world familiar to her is collapsing, everything becomes different, different - for real.

Lack of attention from husband

The answer to the question of why wives begin to cheat on their husbands can be found in the depths of female psychology. One of the reasons for unsuccessful marriages can be cooling in the relationship of the spouses. This often happens when, over time, they get bored with each other and begin to move away. In the case when the husband does not pay due attention to his wife, she feels abandoned, unhappy and unloved.

Loss of mutual interest, unwillingness to concede, find a compromise - these are far from all possible options for worsening relations in a couple. Over time, in such a family, the situation can heat up, the spouses will quarrel and conflict over various trifles. In the end, the husband becomes so distant from his wife that he simply stops noticing her. He does not pay attention to her, spends more and more time with friends, prefers to engage in a car or play computer games. Unfortunately, a man simply ceases to be interested in his wife as a woman. It is understandable why wives cheat when they are in such an environment.

Is the woman to blame?

Many women, having married, forget about their belonging to the beautiful half of humanity. Previously, they tried to be beautiful and charming, but now, when the marriage has already taken place, they turn into nondescript housewives, and aprons and dressing gowns become their outfits. However, there is nothing wrong with this, especially since family life requires its victims, but nevertheless, a man can be little attracted to curlers on the head of his chosen one. As a result, a woman becomes less desirable for her man, which results in many disagreements that occur in married couples.

In fact, all of the above, rather, can be the cause of male betrayal or even leaving the family. But if you are looking for an answer to the question of why wives cheat on their husbands, these factors should also be considered. The prerequisites for such female behavior lie precisely in the insufficient attention of husbands to their halves.

Permanent absence of husband

Sometimes it happens that a woman seems to take care of herself and look attractive enough, and her man loves her and idolizes her. But even in such families, things don't always go smoothly. So why do wives cheat on their husbands, what is the reason for this behavior? In this case, a woman may lack the attention of her beloved husband due to the fact that he is constantly absent from home. He tries to provide for his family, earns a living and often has to go on business trips, attend business negotiations or just stay late at work. A woman understands that this is how it should be, and appreciates her caring husband, but she still feels lonely.

At such moments, another man may appear in a woman's life, one who can be there, will be able to give what she lacks: warmth, care and love. Cheating happens because this other man is there and with him the woman feels needed by someone.

Revenge for cheating husband

In the modern world, it is quite common for women to betray their husbands in retaliation for their betrayal. They act on the principle of "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", thinking that this is the best way to punish a traitor. It often happens that an offended lady can cheat on her husband with the first man she comes across.

Revenge is a dish best served chilled. But why do wives cheat on their husbands in response to their betrayal, if by doing so they only aggravate the situation and, in addition to their spouses, also harm themselves? Of course, not everyone will take such a step, because a man is able to forgive his soulmate anything, but not treason. Even if he says that everything is fine, or does not know about the betrayal at all, the woman will no longer be able to remain the same. She will always remember her betrayal, in which she will blame her husband, and also despise both him and herself for it.

Looking for new sensations

Unfortunately, the relationships of many married couples eventually come to a standstill, become somehow gray and monotonous. Both men and women may lack drive, this feeling that captured them at the very beginning, when they first met and realized that they fell in love with each other. But each new day becomes more and more like the previous one, and the fire of their feelings gradually fades away. Such a family is held together by children, the spouses are already accustomed to each other and are even sure that their love is mutual. But here's something missing.

A woman who knows her husband like her own five fingers, when her husband becomes predictable, is looking for new sensations. This is the answer to the question of why wives cheat. The opinions of scientists on this subject are reduced to elementary physiology. As the senses subside, so does the body's production of certain hormones, the presence of which makes a person happy and contented. Sometimes, in search of thrills, a woman can cheat on her husband.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Often the reason for female infidelity lies in the inability of the husband to satisfy her sexually. However, this may be due to other factors. For example, certain living conditions do not allow spouses to be alone when they want to. Also, a similar problem may arise in a large family. In the end, a woman may decide to cheat in order to diversify her sexual life and fulfill unrealized sexual fantasies. It's trite, but it happens.

What is the point of looking for the culprit in such cases? It is more correct to think not about why wives cheat, but about how to prevent it. If sexually, a married couple has some difficulties, then you need to look for ways to solve them, because betrayal of these problems will not solve, but will only aggravate and add new ones.

A woman who thinks she deserves better

This reason for betrayal is perhaps the most inexplicable. However, here, rather, all of the above factors take place - a little of everything. These are cases in which a woman, for various reasons, is not satisfied with marriage, but she is also not ready to divorce. A woman may have psychological attitude that she deserves better, to consider herself free in some sense, so she provides herself with practically unlimited opportunities for maneuvers. For her, marriage is just a social status. Trying to understand why wives cheat on their husbands on vacation or on a business trip, this factor should not be overlooked.

Having changed, such a woman does not feel guilty about herself and even considers her behavior quite natural. Such an emotional attitude is initially dangerous, because a man, feeling that he is not appreciated, can also begin to behave accordingly.

Why do wives cheat on their husbands. Opinions of scientists

Finally, it is worth giving here a few excerpts from the results of various studies on the topic of change. So, it is quite obvious that women who are unhappy in marriage are more likely to cheat - compared to prosperous families, in such couples, intrigues on the side occur 2.6 times more often. The probability that a husband will be betrayed by a sexually unsatisfied wife increases by 2.9 times. These statistics show why wives cheat on their husbands, the reasons are always the same. And here are the statistics about those men with whom unfaithful wives have affairs:

• 12% - a guy who rolled up in a public place;
• 20% - a longtime friend;
• 13% - former;
• 10% - colleague;
• 1% - one of her man's friends;
• 44% is someone else.

British scientists were completely surprised by saying that women cheat more often than men. However, the representatives of the weaker sex value the reputation of a “good wife”, and also prefer not to brag about their adventures. They are much more careful and sophisticated both in the betrayals themselves and in hiding traces.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, all kinds of difficulties happen in the family life of people. Husbands and their soul mates cheat. But if everything is more or less clear with men, then why do wives cheat? The psychology of human relations, which has been formed over the centuries, has established a woman as a faithful keeper of the family hearth. The betrayal itself contradicts her essence, because by betraying her husband, she betrays her family, her children and even herself.

After the betrayal for a woman, there will be no turning back. She will always remember her act and is unlikely to be able, as before, to look her husband in the eye. Obviously, both men and women need to work on marriage and relationships. Married couples should solve all the problems and difficulties that have arisen together, together, and then, perhaps, no one will have a reason to cheat.

Arkady Davidovich

Adultery has always been considered a great sin because it causes great pain and suffering to the partner and often leads to the breakdown of the marriage. This often affects children who are very sensitive to the divorce of their parents. In addition, even if the marriage does not break up, then betrayal kills the trust of the spouses in each other, which negatively affects their future life together. Therefore, treason is condemned in any society. But despite her condemnation, people, both men and women, both cheated and continue to cheat on each other. About why this happens and what to do if your partner, in our case a woman, cheated on you, we will talk in this article.

A woman's betrayal is always a strong blow to a man's ego. In most men, after such an act of a woman, self-esteem instantly drops, working capacity and activity decrease. However, female adultery has a number of negative consequences for the woman herself, which she often does not think about when she decides to cheat. First of all, this is a very bad reputation that a woman acquires in the eyes of men by cheating on her man, her husband. Also, by her act, she relieves a man of many obligations to her. For example, she relieves a man of the need to be faithful to her and take care of her in the way that he could do it, knowing that she was faithful to him. Of course, in different occasions, different men have different attitudes towards the betrayal of their woman, but most often this attitude is extremely negative. Therefore, her betrayal can affect the future life of a woman in the most unfavorable way. Meanwhile, for men who are faced with female infidelity, I recommend that you remain calm and look for new opportunities in what happened, which, believe me, will help you greatly change your life for the better. Yes, yes, for the best. So if your wife, girlfriend, girlfriend cheated on you - you can not suffer and torment yourself. This act has its positive aspects, and I will tell you about them.

So, your woman, wife, girlfriend, girlfriend - cheated on you. And now you want to understand - what actually happened? Your thoughts are confused, cats are scratching at your soul, you cannot find a place for yourself, you are overwhelmed with a variety of negative feelings. All this prevents you from looking at what happened with a calm, reasonable eye, in order to decide what you should do next. And what happened, I believe, should have happened - your woman showed you what she is capable of. No matter what motivated a woman to cheat, below I will explain why women cheat, what pushes them to do so. The important thing is that your woman cannot resist her desire to enjoy being with another man in order to remain faithful to you. And in some cases, she doesn't want to. It shows you what kind of woman you are. And it's time for you to ask yourself - how does it suit you? And speaking even more thoroughly - you need to think about whether you deserve more, or do you have a woman who you yourself correspond to? I am not saying that you are a bad man who deserves to be cheated on. In no case. I only urge you to think about your own strengths and weaknesses and compare them with the strengths and weaknesses of your woman. This will allow you to make a more informed decision on what you should do - to forgive a woman for cheating, or to refuse it.

In general, I believe that female adultery should be treated philosophically. If a woman or wife cheated on you, this is an occasion for you to think about your life, and perhaps change something in it. What needs to be changed depends on what you want out of life. If your goal is to create a strong, friendly, reliable and prosperous family in which spouses will be devoted to each other, then, of course, you need a reliable partner - a reliable woman whom you can trust. Therefore, if your wife is not capable of fidelity, you should part with her. Do not demand from a person what he is not capable of - just replace him. And if your whole life is a constant pursuit of pleasure, if family values ​​\u200b\u200bare alien to you, and you yourself are prone to treason, then think about whether it is worth worrying about your wife’s infidelity at all? Think about what you want from life, and it may turn out that the devotion of a woman is not so important to you. She cheated on you, but you, in turn, can also live more free and full life without any obligation to her.

Let's find out now - why do women cheat on men? It's all about female nature, which gives rise to a woman's need to be desired by men. A woman needs to be loved, to be paid attention to, to be admired, to be taken care of, and to be wanted. Therefore, a woman strives to be beautiful in order to attract the attention of men. Her task is to choose the best man and give birth to children from him. Therefore, her instinctive desires are aimed at satisfying this particular need. If a man by nature seeks to fertilize as many females as possible in order to ensure the survival of his species, then a woman, in turn, strives to seduce as many men as possible in order to choose the best, most worthy of them. Everything is very simple. It is our nature, our instinctive needs that drive us. And it is only our upbringing, our beliefs, and the culture we hold that stop some of us from committing adultery. You understand that society cannot be stable without condemning such acts, and our entire civilization will wallow in fornication and depravity, thereby destroying itself. But at the same time, we must never forget what needs are hidden within us. You can impose any punishment for treason, up to death penalty, but betrayal will still be, because a person is prone to them, both men and women. People will cheat on each other if they are unable or unwilling to control their instinctual needs.

Therefore, dear men, if your woman, your wife, cheated on you, then this means that she simply could not cope with her nature, she went on about her instincts and gave free rein to her desires. You may not be to blame for this at all, so do not blame yourself for anything. Yes, there are cases when a man, by his behavior, pushes a woman to cheat, I won’t deny it. Every case is different, so I can't speak for everyone. But you must remember that women always strive to attract the attention of men, especially if they are beautiful, self-confident women, without complexes. Look how many married women strive to look beautiful, and some - defiantly beautiful, in order to attract the attention of men and thus feel their importance, feel their strength. Do they all have bad husbands? No. Husbands have absolutely nothing to do with it. It's all about the nature of a woman, who is what she is, if you don't inspire a woman in anything and don't limit her in anything. As, however, and men. So women will always be interested in men, even if they have husbands. And men will be interested in women, even if they have wives. Of course, there are instincts, but there is reason, which both women and men must listen to in order not to commit such acts that will cause pain and suffering to their partner. But a person is too weak to control himself constantly and in everything. Therefore, in some ways, he will certainly give slack.

So is the betrayal of a woman, wife, in this case, her mistake? Undoubtedly. If she loses more than she gains by following her instincts, then of course, her betrayal is a mistake. But, first of all, it is still her weakness. This is how a man, having a wonderful, loving, respecting wife-beauty, ready for anything for him, for some reason cheats on her with some nondescript girl, following the lead of his natural, and in worldly terms, dog instincts, thereby killing trust and self-respect, this is how a woman, without any logic, can go on about her female instincts and cheat on her man, completely undermining her confidence in herself and often destroying her family in this way, and with it her happiness. This is all a manifestation of unconscious, instinctive behavior, so it is useless to look for logic here - it's all about emotional desires that a person does not control with his mind. Rather, from the point of view of nature, there is logic here. It lies in the desire of women to attract the attention of men, and in another case, in the desire of men to get as many women as possible. All this is in the interests of nature in terms of the reproduction of the human population. So cheating is a natural human act. In some ways it is wrong, immoral, ugly, but natural. If a person is too weak to control his instinctive desires, he will change, betray, deceive, as soon as circumstances push him to this.

And in order to understand betrayal and possibly forgive it, you need to pay attention not to others, but to your own weaknesses and secret desires and feel their strength. Perhaps you, as a man, as a highly moral person, cannot imagine sex without love, you have never cheated on your woman, and therefore it is difficult for you to understand a person who can decide to cheat. In this case, pay attention to your other weaknesses - which make you not an ideal person, not an ideal man, not ideal husband. Do you have them? I'm sure there is. Pay attention to them, feel their power, which affects your behavior and makes it imperfect, beyond the control of your mind. Feel what it's like to go on about your emotions and feelings, doing what, from the point of view of common sense, you don’t need to do, but you have to. And then, imagine that exactly the same forces act on those people who cheat on their spouses. And in particular, women can not cope with these forces and cheat on their man, for no logical reason. This will help you understand them. This will help you understand the reason for cheating, which may not affect your attitude towards such acts, but at least give you a better understanding of why people commit them.

There is another important point in female infidelity that you should be aware of. It concerns the age of a woman and her vision of her future. The older a woman becomes, the less attention men begin to pay to her, and the woman feels this, and it frightens her. Not every woman admits that she is afraid of growing old, not because old age is terrible in itself, but because she is afraid that men, including her own husband, will stop paying attention to her, stop being interested in her, stop want her. But this fear lives in a woman, so she is looking for opportunities to take more love and attention from life at a young age, while the demand from men for her is large enough. All these love adventures, intrigues, flirting - they all make a woman's life interesting and joyful. They allow her to feel alive, in demand, needed, desired. Often women do not need sex so much as relationships with other men, especially when their own husbands pay little attention to them. They need the attention of a man, they want to be looked after, to be loved, to be wanted. And sex often occurs at the initiative of a man, because it is they who need it more, while a woman needs emotions and feelings more. And the woman gives in - she goes for treason because she wants not only to take from the man what she needs, but also to give him something in return. At the same time, she can love her husband and her family, but emotions, feelings, instincts - it is sometimes very difficult for people to cope with them.

I do not justify women who cheated on their husbands, I just want to say that in each individual case, a woman can be understood. Perhaps she cannot be forgiven, and you, respected men, are not obliged to do this. But you can understand a woman. So not only the desire to have fun, but also fear pushes a woman to cheat. Put yourself in her place and think about how difficult it is sometimes to realize that today you have attention, and tomorrow it may not be there, even from your own husband, who may be interested in younger girls. A woman can understand this, or she can feel it instinctively, so she often faces a choice - to take the opportunity to experience new vivid feelings, or to miss them, while remaining faithful to her man. And you know, it is not always easy for a woman to make this choice, no matter how wonderful a man her husband is. The subconscious fear that in the future few people will need you, although this, of course, is not a fact, pushes a woman to insane, illogical actions from the point of view of men. But there is logic in them - you just need to understand what a woman feels when she starts a relationship on the side. And in order to understand the feelings of a woman, not being a woman, it is necessary to bring a woman to a sincere conversation, then she herself will tell you everything about her feelings. And since I have repeatedly managed to do this, I am telling you about what sometimes women themselves cannot tell, because they are not fully aware of the patterns of their behavior and the nature of their desires and feelings.

I think that understanding that a woman does not always consciously commit adultery, taking into account and evaluating all the consequences of her act, will help you, if not forgive, then at least understand your woman, seeing in her betrayal, first of all, weakness. Is it then possible to blame a man, a woman for her weakness? It's hard for me to answer this question. After all, there are many weak people, and everyone has their own weaknesses. We can blame people for greed, cowardice, laziness, envy and other negative qualities that are their weakness, but this does not stop them from being part of their nature. And I repeat, we are all weak in some way. So how can we blame other people for their weakness if we ourselves are not perfect? We may be disappointed that a man does not meet our requirements and does not justify our hopes, but he is what he is - a woman is what she is. If you can find a better one, no one bothers you to replace it. If you understand that weakness is characteristic of many people, including you, and you are not going to spend your life looking for exactly the one that will suit you in everything - I think you can accept the imperfection of this world, in the face of a woman who is imperfect in her behavior . But it all depends on how you treat yourself. If female adultery hits your pride hard, if you think that no woman has the right to instruct you in cuckolds, then you have only one way out - to leave this woman.

And if you want to stay with a woman who has cheated on you, a wife, if you love her, and she is dear to you, then accept her for who she is. If she loves you, she won’t betray you anymore, and if she doesn’t love you, then think about why and why do you love her? Maybe you don’t love her, but you’re just afraid of losing her, not imagining life without her. In this case, you need the help of a psychologist, because if you are emotionally dependent on a person who causes you suffering, you need to get rid of this addiction. Just don’t put your woman in a “golden cage” and limit her in every possible way, fearing that she will cheat on you again. Think for yourself, will this make your life better and you happier? Unlikely. You can take possession of a woman's body, but you cannot take possession of her soul and heart without her desire. Therefore, there can be no talk of any love if a man constantly controls his woman and forbids everything to her. Love is born only in freedom, and fear and hatred are born in captivity. Therefore, it is better to give a woman freedom and let her live the way she wants, deciding for herself what suits you in her behavior and what does not. There are many people, many women - we can choose with whom we live. I am sure you will be able to evaluate all the pros and cons of your woman and make an acceptable choice for you - to forgive her for her betrayal, or not. The main thing that you must understand is that whatever choice you make, it will be the right one. There is no need to look at other people and their actions in similar situations - they have their own values, their own rules, their own vision of life and their attitude towards women, so their decisions should not affect yours. Think for yourself - what is best for you - to leave the woman who cheated on you, or to forgive her and stay with her.

In this regard, I do not recommend that you limit yourself to something - live life to the fullest and use all the opportunities that appear to you to make your life more interesting and enjoyable, regardless of your internal settings. And if you have a new relationship - do not give up on them, look at life more broadly and take everything you need from it. There are many women, and the nature of a man, as you remember, encourages him to give his attention to as many of them as possible. Therefore, if your woman, wife, did not appreciate your devotion to her, then she does not need her. Of course, I don’t know what value system you adhere to, but I know that you are a man, and you have certain desires that you can and need to realize in order to feel like a happier person. It's better than being heartbroken over female infidelity.

From my point of view, if a woman cheats on a man, then by her act she tells him - I relieve you of the obligation to be faithful to me, because I myself cannot be like that. Use this opportunity, if, of course, such a life suits you, and then you will feel much happier. But if you see that the betrayal of your woman, wife, is just a mistake that she regrets very much, think about forgiving her. After all, who knows, maybe someday you will not be able to keep yourself from some rash act, following the lead of your instincts, and then you will also regret what you have done, counting on forgiveness. And if you want to be forgiven, learn to forgive yourself. And betrayal, despite all its soreness, can be forgiven. You know, sometimes such an experience only strengthens the family if people draw the right conclusions from their mistakes.