How to have a Chechen bride on the first night. Muslim wedding night according to all the canons of the Koran. The behavior of the guests at the wedding

A Caucasian wedding is a loud fun lasting several days, where strong wine flows like water, luxurious gifts are presented to the newlyweds, where folk songs are heard, and everyone rejoices because a new family has formed!

In the Caucasus, the rule remains inviolable: a Caucasian marries once and for all. He will take care of his family and will never leave his family for another woman. And this is how weddings take place in different parts of the Caucasus.

1. Ingush wedding

Young people not only had fun here, but it was also a place for brides and grooms, a place for choosing brides and grooms. The wedding was a holiday not only for the family and relatives, but also for the village youth. The latter was preparing for this event in advance: the girls embroidered handkerchiefs, sewed holiday dresses, young people came up with witty puzzles, riddles, sayings to talk with girls during “zoahalol” - “matchmaking”. During the wedding, the young man gave the chosen girl through an intermediary (boy, woman) sweets, cookies, money. In this way, he expressed his feelings and hopes to her.

If the young man was to the girl's liking, she, in turn, gave him two handkerchiefs (to him and a friend), and from the end of the 19th century. sent cigarettes. These signs of attention symbolized the beginning of their acquaintance, which could subsequently end in matchmaking. If matchmaking was usually carried out in winter or early spring, then the wedding was most often arranged in the fall, after field work. The time of the wedding was appointed by the groom's relatives, while taking into account the readiness for the wedding and the bride's relatives.

Ingush wedding preparations

Both parties prepared for the wedding on their own, as they celebrated at the same time with the groom and the bride. In the groom's house, the wedding was played for three days, in the bride's house - one. Among the Ingush, unlike the Chechens, the bride is taken immediately to the groom's house. Wedding celebrations begin before her solemn arrival. For Chechens, the wedding is preceded by “yossayar”, when the bride is brought to the house of a relative, friend or neighbor of the groom. On the eve of the wedding, the groom's side sent "hoalchakh" to the bride's house: one or two sheep, a bag of flour, tea, sugar, butter. The father of the bride or a close relative on the paternal side could generously refuse to accept "hoalchakh", except for sheep. Close and distant relatives from both parents, grandparents, daughters-in-law, neighbors, as well as friends and friends of the men of the family were invited to the wedding at the bride's house.

Start of the wedding

Special honor at the wedding in the groom's house and in the bride's house was given not only to close relatives, but also to relatives from daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and also to the elderly. They were served before others, they were seated at the best, literally “first table”. Men and women were always in different rooms.


At the wedding, the groom gathered from 200 to 500 or more people, depending on the size of the clan, the branching of family ties and the wealth of the family. At the same time, the composition of the participants was constantly changing - some came, others left.

The composition of the wedding train was determined in advance - “zamesh”, the participants of which were supposed to go for the bride, and then take an active part in all wedding ceremonies. It consisted of young people from the “zakhalash” families (sister-in-law of a son, brother, sister-in-law and brother-in-law of daughters and sisters), nieces and nephews of the mother, neighboring youth, as well as cousins and sister of the groom). The groom's sisters stayed at home. They met and treated numerous guests, showed them attention.

In the morning, depending on the distance to the bride's house - at 10-12 o'clock on the first day of the wedding, a wedding procession for the bride was sent from the groom's house. The average number of participants in the wedding train was 15-30 or more people. However, young people with their own horses, as well as a special cart with children, and later a car, joined the wedding train. In the bride's house, the assembled guests anxiously awaited the appearance of "zamesh".

Wealthy parents invited members of the wedding train to the house and treated them. The visiting young men and women from the wedding train got acquainted with the young guests at the bride's house. Dances and shows were held here. The guest girls stood in a row, led by the older and more resourceful toastmaster. The host's daughters, busy serving the guests, did not take part in this fun.

After greeting their "zahalash" and introducing each other, the hosts began to amuse the guests by organizing "zoahalol" - symbolic matchmaking and dancing.

After the end of the "zoahalol" and dancing, they performed the ceremony of pinning a needle to the hem of the bride's skirt. The bride's readiness for withdrawal was reported to the senior of the wedding procession. The latter gave the order to take the bride out of the house.

Throughout the journey, the bride was forbidden to look back, "so that she would not return rejected to her father's house." When the wedding train drove up to the groom's house, the children who were waiting for him informed the groom's family about this. All the guests went out to meet the wedding procession. The young man who accompanied the bride and rode with her on the same cart helped her to get off and, holding her with his right hand, right hand, solemnly introduced her to the “nuskala tsia” - to the “bride's room”. From that moment on, the young man became a confidant and friend of the young family. When the bride crossed the threshold of the house, one of the women of the groom's family laid a rug and a broom under the bride's feet, which the bride had to pick up and put aside, and the other showered the bride with sweets (sweets, cookies, small change, etc.). This rite symbolically expressed the wish of the bride for a “sweet”, prosperous life.

On the very first day of the wedding, a mullah came to the bride's room with the Koran in his hands to perform the religious ceremony of registering the marriage according to Sharia. In the presence of one of the older women, the bride was asked her consent to become the wife of the young master of the house.

All days of the wedding, the groom did not actually show up. He was in the house of a friend or relatives, not far from his home. He was surrounded by friends who did not let him get bored. The owners of the house prepared festive treats for him and his friends, they brought treats from the wedding table here. If the bride was from the same village as him, he would go to the bride's sisters in the evening and spend time there.

Joking tests

In the mountain villages, a ceremony has been preserved to this day, giving a woman a “chance for equality”. It's called The Trial of the Bridegroom. Different aunts of the bride cover her body with a thick layer of fat and wrap it with ropes. The girl, of course, is naked, wearing only "a little underwear." Tied up, it resembles a cocoon. The test groom must unravel the ropes on the bride as quickly as possible and be able to take possession of her. If everything happens in a short time - be him the absolute head of the family. The wife in this case does not even have the right to vote.


On the wedding night, it is desirable for the spouses only to get to know each other better and communicate, and to start married life the next night.

The first return of the newlywed to the parental home took place not earlier than a year, more often after the birth of the first child. The newlywed was supposed to bring gifts to both parents and uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, their children, as well as gifts. She came accompanied by women and children from her husband's house. The bride and groom stayed with their parents for a month or more.

The Adyghe wedding has the following structure: matchmaking, review at home, registration of marriage, a trip for bride price, bringing the bride, identifying the young in a "foreign house", introducing the young into the "big house", the old woman's escape, the return of the young to his home, a small re-entry of the bride to the "big house", table dance, secondary drive of the young, girl's table, cup whirling, etc.

The Adyghe wedding was beautiful and instructive when, with the consent of the interested parties and persons, it took place in compliance with all the "habze" - rituals. She started with mutual love young and ended with the approval of this high human feeling by the elders. Everything that was done at such a wedding was a guarantee of creating a strong, successful family in which harmony would reign and happy children would grow up.

The bride's departure was accompanied by a beautiful wedding song with a wonderful chorus, which was performed by the men. When leaving, the bride should not look back, stumble, the threshold should be crossed without touching it, on the right foot, etc. These seemingly insignificant components of the habze were nationwide, and they were given a certain importance for the life of the young in the new conditions. For example, if we take into account that under the threshold, as the Adyghe believed, the souls of deceased relatives could sometimes settle, it becomes clear why it is necessary to be careful in such cases.

When registering the marriage, in addition to the efenda and the trusted girls and guys, witnesses were also present. All of them had to be sure to wear hats. It should be noted that, in general, among Muslims, marriage was concluded by a trusted girl and the groom himself with the blessing of a clergyman.

The toastmaster of the celebration could be a close friend of the elder in the groom's house or a relative, but in no case one of the family members. An atmosphere of loftiness and sincerity reigned over the wedding table.

At weddings and other celebrations, the Adyghes drank only from a common large bowl ("fal'e"), which went around the circle. At such a table, no drinking horn or any other utensils were ever used.

How much to sit at the table, how much to dance and have fun young, the eldest of the guests decided.

3. Wedding in Dagestan

betrothal

During the betrothal, when the bride and groom put on rings for each other, the bridesmaids smear henna on their palms, fingers and toenails. Henna symbolizes that the road to happiness is open before them.

On the day of the engagement, the wedding date is set. To this day, the bride and groom occasionally meet. The wedding day should not fall on Uraza, Muslim holidays, birthdays.

After agreeing on all the formalities of matchmaking in words, the wedding begins long before it as such, and most importantly, the arrival of the groom with his parents and inner circle to the bride, where the table is set, so that after gatherings and a meal, finally, the groom puts the bride on finger ring. Sometimes this is accompanied by giving the bride gifts - from lace underwear to gold sets.

The bride before the wedding should take care of the furniture in the room where the young people will live - from the hall to the bedroom (it also depends on the wealth of the bride and her family).

The wedding begins at the bride's house. Her relatives, girlfriends, familiar women gather. Only representatives of the weaker sex feast at the wedding table. On this day, as a rule, the groom arrives and gives the bride gold jewelry, a chest with clothes, shoes and other things.

A week later, the wedding feast begins at the groom's house. Here women and men sit separately. Performed national music. The groom is not forbidden to dance with other women. National dishes are served at the wedding table: barbecue, kebab, pilaf, dolma.

On the second day after dinner, the father of the groom or the eldest of his family arrives at the bride's house. National music with the use of zurna, clarinets and drums must necessarily sound loud. They enter the house to the bride, carrying candles or a burning lamp in their hands, as well as a mirror. The meaning is this: the fire, if you do not take care of it, will go out - and the same thing can happen with happiness. The mirror also needs to be taken care of.

When leaving the house, the elder pays a symbolic ransom to the brother or sister of the bride.

The bride is brought to the groom's house. She covers her face with a cape. When the bride enters the house, a ram is slaughtered and its blood is shed under her feet. This is a charm so that the bride is not jinxed. She will remain in a room decorated with things from her dowry, and wait for the arrival of the groom. The wedding feast continues.

At midnight, the bride and groom meet. Witnesses remain under the bedroom door, who will then carry the sign of virginity out of the room. This event will be marked with joyful exclamations, mutual congratulations, shots from a gun.

A week after the wedding, the bride's relatives come to the newlyweds' house and congratulate the newlyweds. The wedding here mainly consists of toasts and dances. Guests from 200 to 500 people, depending on wealth.

Islamic clergy are categorically against this ancient and, by European standards, wild custom. Wise aksakals believe that if a young man has stolen his bride, then he is not worthy of her falling in love with him. The kidnapping of a daughter was considered a terrible insult to her family.

Although stealing the bride is the lowest act in relation to the bride and her parents, this does not prevent many guys from tying the knot in this way, these are those who do not want to pay bride price, or if the groom knows that his chosen one will never agree to wedding with him.

Often the bride is no longer put in a bag, thrown on the back of a horse, but in a car. The groom takes her away from her parents' house with friends, often rapes her, and then, if you like, you don't want, and the parents are forced to give their daughter to the guy. Not a virgin is a shame for the family.

Ossetian wedding.

MATCHMAKING.

Matchmakers must be at least 3 people. One of them, if possible, is a relative of the groom, the most respected of the neighbors is usually sent to the elders, the third may be a good friend of the bride's family - this usually speeds up the matter.

The girl's family, as a rule, knows about the arrival of guests. By the way they are met, one can judge the outcome of the matchmaking. However, after the second toast, the elder must inform the hosts about the purpose of his arrival.

It often happens that the girl's family knows about the feelings of the young and has nothing against their union, but etiquette does not allow giving consent right away. The head of the family thanks the guests for the honor and replies something like this:

We must consult with the elders of the family, relatives, and finally, ask the girl for consent, and only then will we be able to answer you.

That is, in a veiled form, it makes it clear to the guests that they are welcome and the matchmaking can end in a wedding. Then they agree on the time of the next visit.

FIDYD (marriage agreement with the bride's parents).

Nowadays, fidid can take place both in the groom's house and in the girl's house, and the second happens much more often. The boy's parents, through fidaujyta (trustee), leave fidauaggag (pledge) in the girl's house - a certain amount of money as a sign that the two surnames are related. Sometimes fidyd occurs on the wedding day, which is also not forbidden by customs.

In the house of the girl, a treat is prepared for fidaujyt. Wealthier families slaughter a sheep. While the meat is being cooked, a light snack is brought to the guests, 2-3 toasts are made. Then the table is set according to custom. The elder gets up and offers to discuss the matter for which they have gathered.

During fidyd, the day of the wedding is appointed, the number of guests who will come for the bride is discussed, as well as who and when will bring the sacrificial bull.

Having discussed directly everything related to the upcoming wedding, the guests and hosts proceed to the feast.

On the table, according to custom, there are three pies, the head and neck of a sacrificial animal. The elder (tamada) sits at the head of the table, to the right of him is the second elder - fidaujity histar, to the left - the third elder - a relative of the family or a representative of the surname. Everyone gets up. The elder pronounces a toast to Styr Khuytsau (Big God), entrusts the young and related surnames to Mada Mairam, Uastirdzhi and other saints, and passes kuvaggag and bazaggag to the younger at the table. The second and third elders support the toast.

Life makes its own adjustments to centuries-old traditions and customs. In our time, after an agreement, and more often on the wedding day, young people go to the registry office to register a marriage. This ceremony is arranged with all solemnity and is remembered for a long time by the young.

SUSAGTSYD.

A few days after the fidid, the groom, with his best man, boyfriend and several friends, pay a visit to the bride's house. If possible, this is not advertised, only the closest and bridesmaids gather. The son-in-law must certainly bring sweets with him, which he distributes to all the women gathered in the house. Tables are laid for guests, dances are arranged.

After that, the groom with kukhylkhatsag and amdzuardzhyn goes to the older women. Women give them a noisant (glass), and the bridegroom's mother or mother-in-law, if she has one, brings the noisan to the groom. Thanking for the warm welcome, the guests return the noisant, putting money in them, as much as they see fit. One of the young women distributes sweets brought by the groom. Women give thanks: "May your life be as sweet as these candies."

In susagtsyd, the groom presents the bride with an engagement ring.

Young people in the yard or in another room are having fun with dances and songs. They can also ask the groom to show his art. Skillful dancers, good song performers have always been surrounded by special respect.

The feast can last until late at night, but whatever the circumstances, according to etiquette, the groom should not stay overnight in the bride's house.

KUHYLKHATSAG AND AMDZUARJYN

Appointed in advance by the groom's parents, Kukhylkhatsag and Amdzuardzhyn have many rights and obligations at the wedding. In essence, these are the main characters at the festival, especially the best man. The order at the wedding depends on his diligence and organizational skills, he determines when and who will go for the bride, how guests will be received, etc. As a rule, kukhylkhitsaga and amdzuardzhyn are appointed from people close to the family, relatives, friends of the groom. In the old days, there was a custom: the bride was taken to the best man and amdzuardzhyn and said: “God wants these two to become your brothers from today. And although you have different parents, from now on they are your brothers, and you are their sister. In those days, this was of particular importance - often the best man remained her only adviser and protector. In the groom's house, he was treated like a relative.

Kukhylkhatsag is responsible for the order not only in the house of the groom, but also the bride. When the wedding feast comes to an end and it is time to take the bride out, the best man, along with representatives of her family, this is usually the bride's brother or one of her close relatives, enters her room.

The girl's relative turns to God to bless his sister and send her love and happiness in new family so that she never discredits the honor of the family, etc. After that, he gives permission to the women to dress the bride. Usually two or three young neighbors do this.

Before the wedding, the owner of the house invites several neighbors who are closest to him and distinguished by responsibility, and entrusts them with his household. Those, in turn, discuss who will be responsible for what, who will be kusartgendzhytё, khondzhytё, urdyglaudzhyta, and who will be hitsau cabins.

Kusartganjita - butchers and those responsible for cooking meat.

Khonag is a person inviting relatives, friends, neighbors to an upcoming wedding.

Uyrdyglaudzhyta - letters, "upright" - people, servehosting guests during the feast.

Hitsau cabins - letters, "the owner of the pantry" - the managerall food during the wedding, feast.

ARMENIAN WEDDING

Matchmaking.

According to ancient Armenian custom, the bride was chosen by the boy's parents, and the initiative belonged to the mother. Having settled her choice on one or another girl, she first consulted with her husband and with her relatives. Then they tried to collect information of interest to them about the intended bride and her family. The main attention was paid to the modesty, diligence and good health of the future daughter-in-law, while appearance was not given much importance.

Having chosen a bride, the boy's parents turned to one of their relatives, who also knew the girl's family, with a request to be an intermediary (midzhnord kin) in negotiations with the mother of their chosen one and persuade her to get her father's consent to marry her daughter. Having learned about the intention of the groom, the girl's mother first of all consulted with her own brother. A few days later, the main matchmaking took place.

Matchmaking was traditionally done by men: it is not a woman's business to negotiate. Moreover, they went in the evening, after dusk, so that none of the neighbors would know about it. After all, if they refuse, the rating of the rejected groom in the eyes of the villagers will fall. Matchmakers from among close male relatives on the paternal side went to the house of the girl's parents, with whom the mediator, and sometimes the groom's mother, went. As a rule, the girl's parents were notified in advance about the arrival of the matchmakers.

Arriving at the house of the girl's parents, the matchmakers start talking about extraneous things that seem to be not related to the purpose of their arrival: local news, views of the harvest, health and weather. And only after that proceed to the main thing. The purpose of the visit, as required by tradition, is said allegorically, for example: “We came to pick one flower from your house” or “we came to take a handful of earth from your house”, etc. Before giving a positive answer, the girl's father necessarily secures the consent of his brother, sons and wife. And then asks the daughter about her consent. It was impossible even from the very first visit of the matchmakers to agree to marry off their daughter. This would mean that the bride has some kind of flaw and the father wants to get rid of her as soon as possible. Since the question was very sensitive, a special language code was formed over the years. For example, if the matchmakers were told: “We still need to think, and in general, our uncle decides everything, and he is away now,” this meant a refusal, which could turn into consent after a visit or two. And the excuse “They are still too young” implied that it probably did not make sense to go to them a second time.

Moreover, there were a lot of ways to motivate refusal and pseudo-refusal. If there were several applicants for the girl’s hand, then the matchmakers could agree among themselves and show up at the chosen one’s house at the same time. Men sat down at the table and laid out gifts for the bride - jewelry, sweets, shawls, fabrics, which testified to the wealth of the groom's family. The final decision was for the bride - whose gift she prefers, that and be her husband. True, the girl did not have the right to utter words in front of men. Etiquette prescribed her to express herself with gestures. Often a shy bride chose a gift without finding out who it was from, then the groom fell out like a lot. More agile girls managed to negotiate with the guy they liked and confidently stopped at his offering. When the choice was made, the table was set.

Conclusion of an agreement

Between the fathers of the bride and groom was supposed to spend even before the engagement. In some regions of Armenia, for example, Shirak and Alashkert, it was furnished in a very peculiar way - the heads of the family shared lavash.

At the same time, as a rule, a priest was present, who stood between the men, and they began to pull the lavash rolled up with a whistle by the edges. The performance of this ceremony was tantamount to signing a marriage contract, since it meant that from now on they had a common bread. And bread, as you know, was treated with reverence.

The third visit of the matchmakers, with successful negotiations, actually became an engagement (hoskap - literally “to seal the word”). From that moment until the very wedding, the girl was not allowed to see her betrothed.

The yearning groom had to sneak into the house of the betrothed to see her. The mother of the bride received the future son-in-law secretly from her husband, on the condition that he would keep his distance and in no case touch the girl. In some regions, the groom, if he stayed overnight, was even allowed to lie down next to the bride, but the condition not to touch her remained unshakable. Unlike the mother, any self-respecting father of the family, having learned that the young man tried to enter his house before the wedding, had to throw thunder and lightning.

However, sometimes the father of the bride, who remembered himself well in such a situation, could pretend that he did not notice how the future son-in-law climbed out the window or into the trough (a hole in the ceiling that functions as a chimney and a light source in a rural house) and knew nothing knows. The engagement was followed by betrothal (nshandrek - literally “put a mark”) - a mini-wedding, which took place in the girl’s house. The groom's side always brought a gift to the bride. By the way, it became customary to give a diamond ring for engagement only from the second half of the 20th century.

Wedding.

The wedding celebration itself lasted, as a rule, three days, and sometimes a week, depending on the financial capabilities of the families of the bride and groom.

Not a single wedding was complete without baking wedding bread (lavash), which took place both in the groom's house and in the bride's house. The day of ceremonial baking was called tashtadrek (literally, “put a trough”).

The ceremony began with the sifting of flour, to which young men and women close to the bride and groom were attracted. Sifting flour was accompanied by songs, playing various musical instruments and dancing, and then turned into a game - boys and girls sprinkled each other with flour. The guests put sweets, dried fruits, nuts into the sieve. It was possible to feast on them when all the flour was sifted. In some regions, she sifted the flour of the priest, moreover, silently and without fail with her face covered, so that the bride was laconic and ... so that she would not go crazy. The people believed that the connection with the smart educated people(and in the village they were considered a priest with a priest) protects against sudden madness. In other regions of Armenia, only women were engaged in flour sifting, while they certainly observed subordination. The oldest of the women was the first to start this important procedure, then the planted mother (kavor-kin), and then the rest of the ladies. Salt and knead the dough in the same order.

An important ritual in preparation for the wedding was the slaughter of an ox, from the meat of which dishes were then prepared for the festive table. Moreover, they actually cut, as a rule, a bull, but they called him an ox, and the sacrifice was eznmortek (ez - ox, mortel - to slaughter).

This happened because it was the ox that was associated with the plow, plowing and, as a result, seedlings and fertility. A purely male company was going to - friends and relatives of the groom. The bridegroom and the Cavor approached the bound bull lying on the ground. The first blow was always delivered by the groom, then he victoriously put his foot on the defeated beast. By the way, the groom was called only tagavor - king, and the bride, respectively, tagui - queen. The rite of sacrifice was always performed on Friday. In the Soviet years, it became customary to buy a calf (calf) in advance, say, when the son left to serve in the army, and fatten him before the young man's wedding. Moreover, they courted the bull in every possible way, realizing that he was ritual, and if he was sick, they were very worried, because they connected everything that happened to him with the fate of his son.

The bridegroom was prepared for the wedding in the kavor's house. A kind of bachelor party was arranged there, during which the ritual bathing of the groom was carried out. The cavor himself bathed him. The groom and azabbashi - the main friend - were seated in the basin with their backs to each other and poured over them with water.

The essence of the ritual of bathing was that the groom was symbolically separated from his unmarried friends with a jet of water. In the house of the kavora, they also performed the ritual of dressing the groom and at the same time decorated the wedding tree (arsaniki tsars), which was usually built from willow branches. Each item of clothing was solemnly announced, and its merits were greatly exaggerated: “And here is the chuha, bought in Tiflis, tailored in Paris, sewn in Bombay!” Putting another piece of clothing on the groom, a dance circle was made around him. Then they decorated one tier of the wedding tree and made a dance circle around it. Arsaniki tsar symbolized fertility, it was traditionally decorated with sweets and fruits - apples, pomegranates, nuts, raisins, and the top was crowned with candles. At a modern Armenian wedding, in a similar way - with money and sweets - they decorate the sword held by the azabbashi. In the old days, the azabbashi served as a bodyguard and had to protect the young: he had a saber in one hand, and a wedding tree in the other.

One of the most striking rituals of a traditional wedding was stealing a chicken. The main role here was played by the carnival character - the wedding messenger, or the so-called wedding Fox - Agves.

Having bypassed the youth who obstructed him, he had to secretly sneak into the chicken coop belonging to the bride's parents and steal the chicken, then appear with her - without fail first - to the house and notify that the wedding procession is already on its way and the groom will arrive soon. The bride's parents had to reward the young man with a valuable gift. The most dexterous young man was appointed Agves, and in order to be able to recognize him, a real fox tail was attached to his clothes. It was believed that just as the Fox steals a bird, the groom steals the bride. On the way back, when they were already traveling with the bride to the groom's house, the Fox again had to get ahead of everyone - to be the first to come to the groom's mother and notify her that the young were coming. For this he was awarded a second time. In Soviet times, Agves transformed into a young man with a chicken in his hands, riding in a car, the hood of which was decorated with fox fur.

For the wedding, the bride had to appear in the attire that the groom's side had prepared for her. At home, in the presence of women - relatives of the groom and two bridesmaids - under the guidance of the planted mother, the bride was stripped naked, then dressed in new clothes. She was dressed by one of the young married relatives, who had her first-born son. The most important part of the ceremony was the replacement of a girl's hairstyle - one or more braids - for a woman's - two braids. And from now on, the girl had no right to go out to people with her head uncovered. During the entire ceremony, women sang songs of praise in honor of the bride. In many cultures, exposure is a symbol of death. This is the basis of the dressing ritual. Symbolically, the girl had to be killed, and then revived as a woman from the groom's family. Now this ceremony has practically become obsolete - the bride is dressed by the arrival of the groom and she is solemnly presented with a veil, gloves and shoes.

Private members of the wedding procession on the way to the church sang songs, danced and, in order to drive away evil spirits, shot into the air. Musicians walked ahead of the procession, behind them was the groom, accompanied by a kavor and azabbashi, and the bride was led behind them.

The girlfriend or brother of the bride carried the hem of his robe behind the groom, holding it against the bride's chest, and no one had to pass between the bride and groom, so as not to interrupt the connection between them. In the church, the priest performed the wedding ceremony and tied the bride and groom around the neck, arm or forehead with narots - intertwined red and green threads, sometimes with a cross - and fastened the ends with wax. They went home from the church along a different road to deceive the evil spirits. Along the way, relatives of the newlyweds carried trays outside, or even laid tables and gave gifts to the newlyweds. 3 or 7 days after the wedding (depending on the region), the tagverats ritual (removal of the crown) was performed: the priest came to the house of the newlyweds, put the bride and groom on their knees against each other, so that their heads touched, read prayers and removed from them people. At the same time, they cut the red-green ribbons on the wedding tree and removed all the fruits and sweets from it. Only after that, the young could ascend to the marriage bed.

A wedding should be fun. For this, serious rituals were interspersed with carnival scenes. One of these was played in the courtyard of the groom's house, meeting the newlyweds. A mock fight broke out between the father and mother of the groom. In an unequal struggle, a woman was bound to win. Young guys helped her, they literally knocked the groom's father on his shoulder blades and put the winner on him. Everyone laughed together, because it was believed that there is nothing more incredible than a wife who beat her husband. They also sang humorous songs. For example, addressing the mother of the groom, they sang that the young daughter-in-law would help her mother-in-law clean, cook, run the household, and also ... would beat her. Now this ritual game is almost forgotten, and if it is carried out, the spouses imitate the fight, after which the wife kisses her husband on the cheek - the kisser is considered the winner. But another tradition - when the mother of the groom greets the newlyweds with bread - covers their shoulders with lavash - has been preserved to this day. And from the roof of the house, sweets, grain, coins were poured onto the young, symbolizing prosperity and prosperity.

A luxurious table, a generous treat were not only the key to a fun wedding, but also a matter of honor for the parents. Especially the groom's family. So the issue was taken seriously. First, respectable old men with impressive experience in organizing feasts were chosen from both sides, who had to calculate how much food and drink would be needed. Moreover, the groom's parents had to give the bride's side everything that was required to prepare the feast, not only during the wedding, but also the betrothal. According to the surviving records, the average betrothal took: 1 ram, 1 pood of millet, 10 pounds of butter, 8 bottles of vodka, 60-70 bottles of wine. And for the wedding itself, all this needed 3-4 times more. The toastmaster and musicians were engaged in ensuring the good mood of the guests.

The institution of virginity has existed in Armenian society since time immemorial, and there was a rational explanation for this. The husband, as well as all his relatives, had to be sure that the firstborn born was their descendant.

In the absence of DNA analysis, only the virginity of the bride could serve as a guarantee of this certainty. By the way, the ritual of the red apple, which is considered by many to be one of the oldest, began to be carried out only in the Soviet years. In the morning, after the wedding night, as a sign of the bride's innocence, red apples and a bottle of cognac tied with a red ribbon are sent to her mother. And in the old days, during the wedding night, the eldest married bridesmaid or cook stood outside the door, and then informed everyone that the bride was a virgin, and received gifts for it, and the men went up to the roof and fired into the air to spread the news. the whole district.

A very colorful celebration, full of Islamic customs. And although today the newlyweds do not follow all the traditions, some of them are still strictly observed. This applies, first of all, to the first marital intimacy ..

The first wedding night in Islam: customs

The wedding night takes place according to Sharia rules (norms for Muslims, enshrined in the Koran). Fortunately, the demonstration of the sheet after the closeness of the young, to reveal the virginity of the bride, is nothing more than a remnant of long-standing Islamic traditions and is practically not found in our time. Nevertheless, a number of customs before the first wedding night of the newlyweds are mandatory.

Muslim wedding night: interesting facts

In addition to Islamic customs, holding the wedding night among Muslims has a number of additions that make the duties of the spouses more flexible. This makes life easier for spouses in some situations, namely:

The first wedding night is the sacrament of two hearts. Despite some strict and unusual Muslim wedding traditions, Sharia maintains a trusting and tender relationship between spouses. What interesting traditions support other nations? You can get acquainted with Indian wedding traditions on our website www.site.

For modern society, such a concept as "wedding night" has long been purely symbolic. intimate relationship before marriage - this is quite normal, because people want to know each other better. True, not everyone is free to use them. A Muslim wedding night is practically one of the most important events in life.

As you know, in Islam, the beginning of sexual should take place in compliance with all religious rules. The first intimacy, according to the Koran, must be imbued with an atmosphere of sacredness. Muslim wedding night, as well as intimacy in general, has a high spiritual meaning. In addition, subject to the most stringent standards, the newlyweds may not even know each other. Under such circumstances, the bride and groom will be extremely shy, embarrassed and tense.

To make the situation more comfortable, Muslims pass with the obligatory observance of such rituals:

Entering into intimacy, young people should have the following intentions:

Do not engage in adultery;

A man should not stare at strangers women;

To give birth to offspring that will serve Allah.

If a person enjoys intimacy with the right intentions, then he receives not only pleasure from but also a reward - sawab. Love is the most important foundation family life. The Qur'an encourages the wife and husband to be merciful, forgiving and patient. Regardless of religion and place of residence, happiness can only be found with the person for whom you have the strongest and deepest feelings.

Each nation has its own beliefs, each faith has its own rituals and customs, but there are things that are equally special for all people in the world. The first marriage in Muslim countries is the finale of the wedding celebration, and it implies the observance of a number of rules and customs, and not just the physical proximity of the newlyweds. A few tips will help you spend your wedding night in Islam better than the stories of girls who have already gone through it.

Preparing for the wedding night among Muslims

While the guests are relaxing at the wedding and raising their glasses to happy life young, the bride is preparing for the fact that she will spend the first night in her life away from her parents' house. Despite the fact that there is practically no tradition to show a sheet after the first intimacy in a Muslim family, a girl should protect her virginity before marriage. Therefore, before entering into intimate contact with his bride, the groom will have to show maximum care and patience. According to Muslim customs, this is done as follows:

• the husband puts his hand on the woman's head and tells her sweet words, praises in every possible way and declares his love, reads a prayer - basmala, ending his speech with the words "In the Name of Allah";
• young people should read two prayers of rak'ah nafil-namaz, after which only the spouse reads another one, in which he asks Allah for blessings on family life;
• a man must feed a newly made wife with sweets, fruits, honey and milk;
• all Muslim women are very modest, therefore, before entering into intimacy with his wife, the husband must do everything so that she can relax and trust him.

Before the wedding and 1 wedding night take place, it is customary in Islam to transport the bride's things and dowry to her new marital home in advance. By the way, the Islamic dowry is 40 pillows and blankets, which they begin to collect from childhood and decorate with their own hands.

As sometimes happens among Muslims, a girl is given in marriage to a stranger. Then it is understandable why Muslims are afraid of the wedding night. Especially girls who may simply be unprepared for intimacy with a newly-made spouse, because they saw him for the first time. A man should show delicacy and maximum patience, not insist on sexual intercourse on the first night, if the wife is not ready to completely trust him. But she, in turn, should not be too cold towards her husband, reject his care and be inattentive. If a woman has her period at this time, sexual contact, of course, will not take place. Moreover, in the days of Haida, among Muslims, it is haram (prohibition). Muslims spend their wedding night in a completely different way than Orthodox Christians do, who first of all count the donated money and eat up the wedding cake.

Despite the fact that most Muslim traditions have already become history, the most important thing to this day remains a warm atmosphere where spouses are gentle and attentive to each other.

Bismillah is the same prayer on the wedding night according to Islam, which the husband reads, placing his palm on his wife's head. He cannot enter into intimacy with her until he makes a dua - this is how the prophet of Allah taught first to ask to protect his wife and future children, who will appear from their connection, from the shaitan. Dua on the wedding night of Muslims is in Abu Dawood, Nikah (Book of Marriage) 46 and sounds like this when translated into Russian: “O Allah! I ask you for her good, and the good of her temper. And they resort to your protection from her evil and from the evil of her temper. Namaz on the wedding night among Muslims helps the newlyweds get rid of excitement, get a little distracted and ask Allah for blessings for the family before enjoying each other to the fullest:

Traditions and rituals in different countries

Traditions may differ depending on the region. Somewhere quite a bit, but somewhere quite significantly. Let's consider the different options in more detail.

In Dagestan

Dagestan is a place where people professing Judaism, Christianity and Islam live on the same territory. But there are traditions inherent only to Dagestanis. What is not customary to do on the wedding night among different peoples of the world, but only in Dagestan, newlyweds observe the rite of martial arts. Girls have been prepared for this since childhood, and before the first night with her husband, they shave her head, smear parts of the body free from clothes with fat. The clothes of a newly made Dagestan wife should consist of a large number of knots that a man had to overcome in order to finally begin to deflower his missus. The sacrament of the wedding night is not observed here: guests and relatives are allowed to eavesdrop and spy on what is happening, except perhaps to enter the newlyweds' room. The battle could go on for a very long time, but according to ancient traditions, the man must still win, otherwise the girl will be persuaded to surrender or, finally, they will be starved out. It is not so easy to rid a wife of work clothes, but no weapons were allowed, although the wife could suffer physically from the rough actions of a man who sought to take possession of her as soon as possible.

Arabs

This people, perhaps more often than all the others, observe the tradition of depriving a girl of innocence only after the wedding. Arab women are forbidden to talk about their first sexual experience, so women who have not yet taken place can only guess and be afraid of what is happening in the marital bed. Among other Muslim traditions, the Arabs strictly follow the ritual of washing immediately after sexual intercourse. In the morning, the Arabs gather guests again, set a rich table, but both spouses are supposed to be silent about how the night went.

In the Caucasus

The Armenians also for a long time observed the tradition of taking out the sheet as a confirmation of the innocence of the bride, but the opinions of modern residents of the Caucasus indicate that this is far in the past. However, many families still honor other traditions: for example, after the first wedding night, the groom disappeared until the very evening, and his relatives presented the bride with red apples and silver coins. The bride's relatives were also treated to apples, wine, and money. Previously, this was done only if her innocence was confirmed before the wedding. Otherwise, the woman was put on a donkey backwards and led through the main streets. Now, of course, to be chaste for a single man is not so important for modern society.

It's no secret that Eastern peoples honor traditions much more than anyone else. Therefore, girls of a different faith who are preparing to marry a Muslim should expect that she will have to observe some rituals with her husband. It is better to discuss such issues in advance so that the first wedding night does not pass in a quarrel and does not become the last for their legal union. For a Muslim, as a rule, the faith of his bride is of no value. Almost all Islamic peoples take their religion very seriously, and they themselves will never betray it. But they always dream of a full-fledged Muslim family, where both the wife and children profess Islam. Therefore, despite love in spite of different religions, girls should really look at things and consider all options for the further development of events in a mixed family.

That night, full of secrets, which the newlyweds are anxiously awaiting. It is advisable for young people to put on elegant clothes, perfume themselves with incense. The groom, who entered the bride, must first greet her, give her a small gift, treat her with something and talk heart to heart. Then it is desirable that young people separately pray two rak'ahs of prayer and ask Allah to make their life happy and full of abundance. This will help young people to get a little distracted and calm down, because prayer has a powerful psychological effect.

If the wedding night falls on the menstrual cycle of the bride, then sexual intercourse, of course, is postponed to other days, because sexual intercourse on the days of haida is haram.

I would not like to ignore the custom, still common among Muslim peoples, to wait for the completion of sexual intimacy between young people outside the door of the room in order to check the bed and make sure of the innocence of the bride. But controlling the young, investigating matters that should remain a secret between spouses, is a custom that leads to haraam. This custom violates the injunctions of Islam not to spy or spy on other people. He makes public what should be a secret between spouses, for their relationship is the sacrament of marriage. A situation may also arise that the bride may become the object of unfounded suspicion, her honor and dignity may be offended. Such customs can cast a shadow on the relationship of the young and darken the rest of their lives. Therefore, Muslims should make every effort to abandon such practices that are contrary to the foundations of Islam.

The wedding night requires patience and delicacy. A lot of responsibility rests on the shoulders of men. The fright and excitement of the bride is quite normal and the man must do everything so that this night does not disgust the bride and does not frighten her, because this can leave an imprint on her whole life.

Firstly, it is quite difficult for a girl to leave her parental home, where she spent all her years, and start a new life in a new house, submit to a man, and at this moment she really needs understanding and affection. No woman will ever forget her first man. And if the first night is full of new and pleasant sensations, if everything is surrounded by affection and love, she will be grateful to him all her life. Even if they part for some reason, the memories of the first night will always make them feel good.

Some young people think that they need to show their masculinity on the first night, and act rudely and tactlessly. The wedding night requires delicacy, and a man must give more than he takes. Every man needs to learn that the first night can be big influence for the future of the family.

You can not immediately start with undressing. It is desirable that the girl does it herself. In this case, in no case should you immediately eagerly examine the body of the bride. In most cases, undressing in front of a man for the first time in her life, a girl experiences unprecedented shame. The body of a man causes her fear. Therefore, for the first time, it is necessary to turn off or reduce the light of the lamp or undress behind the curtain, and it is best for a man not to look in the direction of the bride. First you need to remove outer clothing, and underwear - already in bed, under the covers.

On the wedding night love games and caresses are very important. No matter how bashful the girl is, no matter how embarrassing she is, but gradually she will begin to calm down. If a man shows delicacy and behaves as expected, the bride will slowly begin to awaken desire.

Defloration is not a painful act, as it seems to many girls. It will not cause any trouble for a normal girl and boy. The main thing is preliminary love games prepare the girl for sexual intercourse. If the bride cannot calm down and is very agitated, the groom should try to understand her and postpone sexual intercourse until the next day.

Excessive perseverance or brute force can cause a girl to have a disease called vaginismus. With this disease, a spasm of the female genital organs occurs, and penetration into the vagina of the male genital organ becomes impossible. Even if sexual intercourse occurs, it causes excruciating pain in a woman.