Vadim Kurkin about the secrets of a happy relationship: details. Vadim Kurkin on the secrets of a happy relationship: details Vadim Kurkin

The relationship between a man and a woman is one of the foundations of the life of any person. We can have a beloved and well-paid job, true friends, hobbies ... But if there is no half, then all the other delights of life are not pleasing. Or there is a relationship, but with the note "everything is complicated." Quarrels, misunderstandings, conflicts out of the blue. It's better to be alone!

The life of many of us revolves in this vicious circle - close together, bored apart. Hence betrayal, separation, pain, another experience of unsuccessful relationships. Vadim Kurkin is a successful psychologist, author of articles and lectures, who undertakes to teach anyone the secrets of happiness in relationships.

There are only two ways in a relationship

What does the Vadim Kurkin center do? The secrets of a happy relationship - that's what visitors to his trainings and lectures will learn. Without satisfaction in love, it is impossible to become happy in other areas of life.

Take a look at your relationship with your partner from the outside. Where are you moving and are you moving at all? Vadim Kurkin claims that there are only two ways to develop any relationship. This is either development and growth, or joint degradation.

Why did the wrong person meet again

“And again I was disappointed in her, she turned out to be the same as all the previous ones.” Surely you have heard similar phrases from others, if you have not said it yourself. Often we blame the world for loneliness, which stubbornly gives us unsuitable partners.

Vadim Kurkin's training will reveal a hard truth for you - we meet only those people who are worthy at this level of development and whom we attract ourselves. Any woman is a mirror image of a nearby man, and vice versa. Not satisfied with your partner? Stop looking for reasons for failure in it, and pay attention to yourself. Give up the relationship for a while, engage in self-improvement and return to the search after some time updated.

On the importance of choice

Vadim Kurkin believes that relationships often do not work out just because a man or woman is afraid to make a choice. The choice is the beginning of the journey, the recognition that this is "my man" or "my woman." It is the choice that is considered the starting point of your relationship.

But keep in mind that it is difficult to make a choice, since it means taking responsibility, and not only for your decision, but also for a specific chosen person, says Vadim Kurkin.

The psychologist argues that, on the other hand, after a conscious choice, relationships are simplified. A man in his role is a provider. Having chosen a woman, he can begin to give her gifts, invest in the development of "we are together." Without a choice made, it is hard for a woman. She cannot love a man, look after and take care of him until he is "hers".

There is one "but" in the question of choice. You cannot accept any person who enters your life. Like, well, I choose it, I'll try with it, and if anything, I'll re-select it. When choosing a partner, you must imagine that he will be with you forever, and experience joy from this. If the thought of a long-term relationship with a particular person does not cause you enthusiasm, then you should wait and wait for a more suitable couple for you.

What if it's not my person?

Another reason that makes us delay making a choice is the fear of making a mistake. You will spend time, effort and money, and this is simply not your person, but just passed by. What does Vadim Kurkin say about this?

The reviews of those who attended his training are enthusiastic - the psychologist calls not for philosophical research, but for action. Your fears will go away when you make a choice. Take the risk and time will tell.

Or this situation - for some reason you choose from two potential partners and mark time. As long as you do nothing, Vadim Kurkin believes, nothing good will happen in your life. Choose, even if not your own, and then you will understand. After all, experience is the consequence of action, not thought.

Floors of a house called "relationships"

The Vadim Kurkin Center in the developed lectures states the following: relationships are not an unsystematic chaotic movement from quarrels to a truce, but a structure that can be successfully managed and improved. Everyone has a role to play in a relationship, and if you follow it and “play fair”, there is a chance to build a strong “home” in which the two of you will feel comfortable and cozy.

Floor called "security"

Take it as an axiom that a man leads, he is the first, and a woman follows him, she is the second - so says Vadim Kurkin.

Reviews of psychologists vary, but this assumption makes sense. On the first floor of relationships, a base for life is built. The man is a provider. Responsibility for food, life and safety of relations falls on his shoulders. At this stage of building relationships, it is important for a woman to learn how to be weak and be able to ask for help. Even if you can do everything on your own, allow yourself to accept the help of a partner.

No one owes nothing to nobody

Second floor - desires

On this "floor" of relations, a woman is in charge. A healthy, beautiful woman should have desires, and that's fine. But there is a huge difference between a capricious beggar and a wise woman who knows how to correctly present her desires. Imagine a girl who is always naughty and whines that she needs this and that. “I want a new dress, like Katya’s! Let's go to the restaurant! And Masha gave her a new phone, but you didn’t give me anything. ”

And imagine a girl who, hugging her beloved, talks about her dreams, how they will move from a rented odnushka to their own apartment, where she will put things in order and comfort. Or about how she will be irresistible in a new dress for a walk with her beloved.

The first girl causes annoyance, while the second encourages action and the search for means to realize desires. A woman can wish for anything, the only difference is how it is presented. If you know how to desire and ask correctly, then your man will gladly carry it out.

Of course, there must be common sense in requests and what a woman wants. For example, it’s stupid to describe how you want a mink coat for 100 thousand rubles, if your total monthly income is only 40.

Third floor - goals

A man, fueled by the desires of his beloved, will be able not only to set goals, but also to achieve them, while earning money. It’s good if a woman has a favorite business that brings income, but if she “leads” or earns more than a man, then it will be more difficult to build relationships. It is better for a woman to stimulate and motivate her beloved, while not forgetting about the desires from the second floor.

Fourth floor - admiration

This is the women's floor, says Vadim Kurkin. In this area of ​​\u200b\u200brelationships, a woman should admire her man, inspire him to action with words. When a woman believes in her man, even in case of failure, he will not give up.

How should a woman behave if a man has become a victim of circumstances? Do not set yourself the goal of "pulling" him out of a depressive state, you are not a mother, you are a comrade-in-arms. Your man is strong. Leave him alone with you, give him the opportunity to concentrate and think about everything himself. But at the stage of life where everything goes together, be there and share the joy of success.

Creativity lives on the fifth floor

On this floor, a man should be in charge of the relationship. Ideas for spending time together, relaxing, what to do together on the upcoming weekend. Every man has a huge creative potential, which is worth showing in the form of a hobby - sports, fishing, creating something with your own hands or digging in the garage. If a man does not give an outlet for this energy, quarrels are inevitable, where the creative energy will be transformed into destructive.

Sixth floor - intuition

Any woman, no matter who she is by profession and role in life, has a deep inner connection with the cosmos. A woman's sense is not a fiction, but a real-life "sixth sense" that will work especially well if you are not afraid to trust it.

A man should listen to the advice of his beloved if she says "I feel", "I have a premonition." A woman should not be silent about her feelings about future events, any upcoming plans or work affairs of a man.

Everyone's place in the "house" of relationships

Now think about where your place and your partner are in the built house. Are you encroaching on the territory where your soul mate should lead, are you taking on too much? Or, on the contrary, do you refuse to dominate where you should?

Refuse to control non-your floors, from putting things in order there. Take care of your part of the duties so that everything is good and smooth on your "field". I want to be in harmoniously arranged relationships, because they do not burden, but inspire and push both partners to development, Vadim Kurkin believes.

The educational center named after him encourages everyone to analyze the state of their own "home". If you understand that not everything is going smoothly, then do not rush to destroy it, and hastily build a new one with the next partner. It is easier to make repairs than to build a building from scratch. Take advantage of Vadim Kurkin's developments to realize all your plans for a happy relationship.

Today Vadim Kurkin is known as an effective coach-trainer on business sales and relations between people. Its activity is aimed at revealing the deep foundations of interactions in the family, between people in general. Each of us wants to be in demand and successful, but in fact only a few achieve this. Why is it so? You need to know how to properly move towards the desired goal.

Vadim Kurkin is the founder of the so-called psychology of the future; in his seminars, he also touches upon the desires of the people themselves. His performances are a great success. Vadim Kurkin is the author of various courses and trainings. His work is aimed primarily at the personal growth and development of each participant.

A bit of history. Biography

Vadim Kurkin began his career relatively early - at the age of seventeen. At first, it was focused only on successful sales. For some time he combined work for hire with his own training and development. However, I wanted more. The young man understood that significant success can only be achieved through great dedication, patience and hard work. At the same time, he never had the desire to simply work for hire and earn money.

I always dreamed of finding the source of my own driving force, inspiration that would lead me. Vadim Kurkin owes his own victory to himself. His biography once again confirms that nothing is impossible for a purposeful and active person.

From Sales Coaching to Relationship Training

When a young specialist began to give useful lectures on management, talking about that, he noticed one feature. Most of his seminars were attended by women, men were relatively few in number. Moreover, young girls also attended meetings, they listened to the coach with the greatest attention. Suddenly, Vadim realized what was the matter: all these lovely ladies did not come to be trained in effective sales, they wanted to learn the secrets of relationships with the opposite sex. They were interested in how to create a harmonious, happy family, strengthen relationships with an existing partner, bring more trust and care to them.

Kurkin began to answer the questions of the participants and became interested in these topics himself. Then the realization came to him that abstract success does not give much that a person really aspires to, does not satisfy his inner personal need - to be loved and needed.

As a result, the coach was able to combine the two components and brought out a single concept of the individual success of the individual. This is what he currently shares in his seminars, online courses and trainings.

Center for Practical Psychology

It was created for the successful implementation of all those new ideas and thoughts that literally attacked the young man. The Vadim Kurkin Center has become an excellent addition to the existing knowledge. With his help, he got the opportunity to convey to people directly his own thoughts and views on the world.

The Center for Practical Psychology includes courses on harmonious relationships, seminars and webinars for women who dream of changing their lives for the better. Next, the main courses of the trainer, the theoretical aspects to which he pays close attention at these meetings, will be considered.

"Secrets of a Happy Relationship"

This seminar covers a large number of issues on the interaction of spouses with each other. Vadim Kurkin expresses an interesting idea that in real, holistic relationships there is complete interdependence, belonging of the spouses to each other. There are people who want to be independent and avoid attachments in their lives in every possible way. Vadim Kurkin very competently debunks the myth of glorifying one's own freedom. Such a person, as a rule, suffers from oppressive loneliness, lack of fulfillment, but it doesn’t even occur to him that he is doing wrong and it’s time to change something.

Another important postulate is the assertion that it is important for a woman to motivate a man to succeed, to create additional inspiration for him, an incentive for action. According to Vadim Kurkin, a man needs very little for himself, and everything he does is achieved only for the sake of his soulmate. If the stronger sex is deprived of the opportunity to take care of the well-being of his companion, then he will not take any steps in order to please himself with some purchases. A man will not find meaning and satisfaction in this.

At the seminar, the author, together with the participants, considers the role of men and women in each other's lives. To create a harmonious union, you first need to come to an understanding of how everything works. The greatest mistake is an attempt to live selfishly and a woman to take responsibility for the whole family. This is the prerogative of the stronger sex, there is no need to take away such a right from him. That's what Vadim Kurkin is talking about. His books confirm the correctness and reasonableness of this position.

"The time for happiness is now"

This course is designed for an audience that is focused on action. Learning how to effectively develop and attract good luck is relevant for many people. Some of us are not ready to take concrete steps today, and that is why we suffer. and with a lot of work to find time to communicate with the family - these are the main burning issues. Training helps to believe in yourself, to find inner balance.

"Education Without Punishment"

The course tells how to build relationships with your own children. Some parents cannot do without the use of punishment, and this negatively affects the personal development of the growing child. According to Kurkin, children need to be raised with love, demonstrating to them in practice their protection and patronage. Words are important, but they cost comparatively less than actual deeds and actions. Give your child warmth and participation, he wants to feel parental support in everything!

Vadim Kurkin. Reviews

Participants of the trainings note one amazing feature: after completing a particular course, they feel filled, inspired to implement any ideas. Women often admit that they were already in despair, and only this meeting with a knowledgeable person helped them realize their true role and purpose in the family.

What woman does not want to learn the secrets of a happy relationship with a man and live in harmony with her chosen one, herself and the world? Do they exist?

A psychologist from St. Petersburg, Vadim Kurkin, is sure that there are secrets, and everyone can master the art of a happy relationship. To do this, you need to learn about some laws of psychology.

Vadim Kurkin sees his mission in improving the psychological literacy of women and making them happy.

His course on happy relationships has become the most popular - for its simplicity and benefits.

Vadim Kurkin also maintains a magazine about relationships and life. On his blog, he generously shares his knowledge as a successful man who knows what he is talking about.

“As a psychologist, I do not just work in my specialty, but I have established myself in the profession. The topics of self-esteem and the secrets of a happy relationship are my main areas, ”says Vadim Kurkin.

Source: Vadim Kurkin / Facebook

The psychology of relationships is often of interest to women, so the Growth Phase recorded his special lecture.

In the given female types, everyone will be able to recognize themselves and try to answer the question: do I like my life and what should I do with it?

The Tale of the Girl Who Lives Later

Vadim Kurkin first tells a motivating tale to his students of the Secrets of a Happy Relationship course. Isn't this a familiar story?

Once upon a time there was a girl who dreamed of a good life. She knew that happiness would come sometime later. Now she has to go to school and do her homework.

Later, when I go to college, I will have the most wonderful life in the world! But now I have to study for exams, the girl thought.

She entered the university and was overwhelmed by routine and all sorts of disappointments. And what was she thinking? Here I will get a job, and how I will live! Then, when I make a career ... I will have a lot of happiness!

Well, now I will do routine and not enjoyable activities.

The girl began to work, got married, gave birth to two children ... Then it will become easier for me, the woman thought. Then, when the husband starts earning more, we can go on a trip ...

The pension has arrived. In front of the TV, a woman dreamed that someday later ... The end of the tale.

5 relationship levels

According to Vadim Kurkin, our relationship as a couple and with the world is a house with five floors. And the quality of our life depends on whether each of them is put in order.

1. Level of security

The first floor includes meeting our basic needs. This includes not only the physical needs of food and sleep. This is a roof over your head, and money for education for children.

“Ideally, a man provides security for a woman. A normal female position is to live for your own pleasure, ”says the author of the marathon.

With harmonious relationships in a couple, a woman does not think about the base. She wakes up in the morning with a smile and thinks: wow, what new will this day bring me? She thinks about the future and the future, but with joy, absolutely without tension.

What if there is no man yet? If a woman knows how to live relaxed, without tension, the role of a man takes on the world around. The world feels your condition, and he wants to please you!

2. Level of desire, sex and pleasure

If the first level - the "center" is closed, the woman gets access to her desires. Otherwise, all the energy will go to safety, the tension in the "base" will not allow new energy to manifest.

With a closed level of security, desires appear freely and spontaneously.Here it is important to learn to distinguish your true "wants" from the imposed ones. It also matters whether a woman knows how to broadcast her desires to the world without shame and false modesty.

“A man can feel like a hero who enjoys satisfying her. If there is no partner, but you know how to freely want, connected with your desires, the world itself will begin to throw up opportunities, ”continues Vadim Kurkin.

3. Level of money

The flow of money into our lives grows in proportion to our needs. With the pumped third level, the necessary finances come either before the desire-need arises, or at the same time.

But never after! With a closed level of money, you don’t have to frantically look for finance.

Kurkin argues that our well-being does not depend on the political situation or on evil bosses.

What does this level mean in the context of male-female relations? A woman who knows the secrets of dealing with finances knows how to influence her husband's income and motivate him.

He must want to become a earner and a hero, grow up the career ladder in order to set ambitious financial goals for himself!

According to Kurkin, it happens that one man is “rushing”, while others are still unlucky. And the only difference is the state these people, their women, are in.

4. Level of love and emotional involvement

Vadim Kurkin believes that love should only be mutual. It should make our chosen ones strong.

It happens that a woman loves a man, but he only becomes weaker with her. “You have already fallen in love with him so much, he has received so much from you that he does not need to become a hero,” says the presenter.

It is important for such women to learn not only to give, but also to receive. The coach believes that love between a man and a woman is like a child. It is born, grows, evolves and becomes only deeper with time.

5. Level of intuition and sensitivity

At this level, a woman connects with her inner nature. If there is tension at the basic level of survival, intuition is not available.

The ideal picture is this: you become a sensitive woman who is able to feel herself and the world, opportunities and prospects for a couple, a family.

“Then you are a special woman. Intuition seems to move you forward, and consciousness and mind help. This is the top floor of the relationship, the icing on the cake,” the coach sums up.

5 female scenarios

Why does our five-story house not stand firmly on the ground, but regularly stagger and overflow with tension at one level or another? Vadim Kurkin believes that it's all about our life scenario. What it is?

This is an unconscious plan of life - a decision that the child makes unconsciously in childhood under the influence of parents.

How does this happen? For example, a girl sees that her father is aggressively talking to her mother. And she makes an unconscious decision - all men are evil. What will be the scenario of the girl? Don't trust men!

At the same time, in her life she will attract just evil and aggressive men.

Even if trials appear on our way, fate prepares a reward for us for them.

Another thing is the script. Its only function is to preserve itself and make us function at the level of survival. If we live by the script, we cannot access our true destiny.

The psychologist identifies five female scenario types, to which certain male types are drawn.

1. Thoughtful woman

She is strong-willed and internally very strong. This is a locomotive woman who likes to walk in the forefront. This woman is prone to analysis, she is cautious, slow and likes to stick to her usual way.

She always finishes what she starts, but it is difficult for her to make decisions. Because of this, it is extremely difficult for such a woman to change anything in her life, for example, to leave an unloved job that has not brought any joy for 10 years.

It is important for her to reach the end in everything, so she gets emotionally stuck at the stage of the struggle of motives, as if she is sitting on two chairs. She quickly gets tired of people.

But when approaching someone, it quickly becomes addicted - people begin to use it.

In a relationship with a man, she can be described as a soft, understanding woman. She will not force her partner to do something - all by herself! And the man next to her ceases to be active.

This woman attracts weak men. And the strong himself becomes weak next to her. Its scenario function is to grow a partner. But as soon as he gets on his feet, she breaks up with him. Her script is not to accept results.

She knows how to promote, but she does not know how to receive and take. In this woman's scenario, there is no permission to live in luxury and pleasure.

As soon as a relaxed and secure period looms in her world, she will feel shame and fear. She is embarrassed to live better than others! And she unconsciously merges her successes so as not to experience these feelings.

2. Lighter woman

To others, she seems strong, but this is an appearance. Inside, she can barely hold on because of the accumulated fears, pain and disappointments.

This is an incredibly emotional woman! She is cheerful, bright, jokes a lot, easily adapts to new things and suffers from constant mood swings.

Decisions are made quickly and emotionally. Did you like the team? Got a job. Disliked? Two months later, she fell out of love and left. There is constant news around this woman.

In her scenario, there is no way to finish the job, and because of this, she does not get the desired result. But others enjoy the fruits of her labors!

She can't bear being alone. In relations with men, she is saturated, there are many admirers around her, but relations with the one and only do not add up. Sometimes she attracts strong men with character.

But what is happening? She resists the restrictions, resists his power. She constantly needs emotions, and she gets them through conflicts.

The partner feels "unbalanced", and the successful man leaves her.

In a relationship, she quickly gets bored with the routine, she wants an eternal holiday and news. She is thrown from side to side. And by the age of 35, it is finally depleted.

3. Woman leader

Such a woman loves order, justice in everything, is incredibly demanding both of herself and of others. She controls those around her. And then he wonders - why do they resist her "doing good?"

Recognition and respect are important to her, but she forcibly invades the lives of others, therefore she does not get what she wants. She does not feel her boundaries, respectively, other people do not feel them either.

She is quarrelsome and conflicted. It is important for her to always be right! And in a relationship with a man, this is a dead end path. Her way of expressing love is criticism. She constantly re-educates loved ones, gives unsolicited advice.

At the same time, he works a lot, but absolutely does not know the value of his work. For one salary, she can do the work of five employees.

Men around her quickly become weak, even if they were strong. She does not give any chance to show her strength, as she constantly competes with men.

4. A modest woman

She is closed and sensitive, focused on her inner world. She is very easy to offend! A little something is wrong - she immediately hides in her shell.

At the same time, any hint of protest, of defending the borders on her part, is perceived extremely negatively by those around her - they are used to using it.

This woman is very talented and creative, while she does not believe in herself at all. She is addicted to praise and criticism.

In a relationship, he does not show his needs, he endures silently and for a long time, and then quietly leaves.

She is drawn to the smallest signs of strength in men, but does not know how to distinguish the real from deceit, so she regularly gets into unpleasant stories. She does not understand and does not know how to evaluate people!

The story of taking out a few loans in your name for your favorite hottie is about her. She cherishes and cherishes her love for a man, and he uses her.

Her fetish is non-conflict. And she achieves it at the cost of concessions and renunciation of herself. Often appears in the role of a scapegoat. Can sacrifice everything, pampers both men and children. At the same time, he takes all the blame for the breaks and quarrels.

Saved by work, which also does not know how to say “no”.

5. "Miss instability"

She is the only one of all female types who knows how to put herself first. Realizes his value, reaches for beauty, always takes care of himself, looks like a star.

This female type is closest to the state of a female queen, but she is always half a step short of full realization.

There are many men around her. But she considers them all lustful! She constantly has to prove that she is not only beautiful, but also smart. She constantly proves, argues, disagrees! He says: do not teach me, I'm not a fool! And it destroys relationships.

Another problem is non-reciprocity. She is not liked by those who like her, and those who find her attractive do not attract her in any way.

Her usual way of getting what she wants is resentment or blackmail. Did the man do something? She was offended. Didn't do it again? She threatens to leave

A successful man tries to appease her with gifts, but sooner or later gets tired of all this. She is perceived as a superficial woman, and it is important for her to constantly prove the opposite.

She is unstable, always unsatisfied. Either she feels like a star, or a sweet, quiet prude. It is difficult for others around her! Yes, and the woman herself is not easy because of the constant emotional stress.

She knows how to want, but she does not know how to receive. Because of this, psychosomatic diseases can flourish in her. Her script is to always stop before the very last step. In achieving success, it slows itself down.

How to go beyond the script?

The secret to a perfect relationship with a successful man is to go beyond the script and access your true feminine destiny.

Vadim Kurkin believes that it is almost impossible to calculate your scenario on your own, without outside help in an educational or psychological center, because it is located in the unconscious layers of the psyche.

However, everyone can help themselves to "come alive" a little.

Practice for revival "Like the first time"

Take a mirror. Most women will say that they have a tired look. This is the fatigue that has accumulated because of the script.

The coach asks you to close your eyes and mentally send a pleasant wave of relaxation through your body.

“Imagine a child inside you. Remember this little girl, how does she look at the world? There will be the surprise of the discoverer, the exclamation of “Wow”, sincere joy,” says the coach.

The facilitator offers to open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror again, only with the “look of a pioneer”.

“Constantly turn on a live look throughout the day. Explore your condition, the reaction of other people to it, ”the psychologist asks. According to him, this practice will help to go a little beyond the script.

It is dangerous to do deeper exercises without preparation, Kurkin talks about them at the end of his marathon, as well as to the students of his educational center. His online relationship magazine also has a lot of practical tips.

Don't wait for magic

The script is often formed as a result of the child's identification with the hero from fairy tales.

“Take any fairy tale and take the magic out of it. What will the hero's life be like then? The secret to a happy relationship is to stop waiting for magic, the good sorceress. There is no such thing in life! And it starts right now,” sums up the author of the marathon.