Between man and woman.

In it, I revealed in relatively detail the essence of True friendship between a man and a woman. In short, this is exactly the same friendship that happens between, for example, two guy friends. Yes, it happens. But the main condition for such friendship is the complete absence of sexual desire - even hypothetical.

The reality is that in most platonic relationships between men and women, this condition is violated. It is violated, of course, by men, because men want sex from beautiful women in any relationship.

And what happens when this desire is not reciprocated?

That's right, friendzone!

Today I would like to talk about it in more detail. After all, when people talk about friendship between a man and a woman, they mean exactly the friend zone.

What is a friendzone? How does it arise? Is it friendship at all?

As for me, the friend zone is not friendship, but crap in sunflower oil. And I will now explain why I think so.

What is a friendzone?

Friend zone is a form of abusive relationship between a man and a woman, in which a woman does not feel sexual attraction to a man, but at the same time receives everything she wants from him (attention, support, approval, possible financial benefits, etc.), and the man experiences sexual attraction to a woman, but at the same time maintains the appearance of friendly relations and does not get what he wants from a womanIn fact(sex, sexual/romantic relationships).

Simply put, the boy wants a girl, but she does not give him. And the boy not only wants her, he also does not admit it even to himself. Although subconsciously wants, and even very much.

Instead, the boy continues to treat the girl as if she were his friend. Sometimes he admits to himself that he wants her. Sometimes recognized by 50 percent. And sometimes at 0 percent. But his subconscious knows everything, and the desire in him to sleep with this girl inflames more and more, until one day the boy “gets lost”.

What about a girl? The girl may not know. And maybe know. Maybe even tell himWe are friends, right? ?” And he nods his head in response: “Yes, yes, of course! And will continue to pretend that it is so.

Why is the friend zone an abusive relationship?

Because the needs of a woman in such a relationship are fully satisfied. The needs of a man in such a relationship are ignored.

Of course, a man can be interested in this woman as a friend / person. But he still wants to fuck her, whether he admits it to himself or not. And he can’t do anything with this desire, no matter how hard he tries. Accordingly, the main feeling that a man experiences in such a relationship is a feeling of sexual frustration. He gives the woman everything she wants from him, but does not get from her what he really wants.

A woman feels great in such a relationship. Women love the friend zone! The guy acts like you're his girlfriend. He carries you in his arms, pays attention ... But at the same time, you do not have to treat him like your boyfriend! You don't have to bother and reciprocate. He's just a friend.

And the best thing is, you have absolutely nothing to do with it.

How does the friend zone arise?

The lion's share of the responsibility for the appearance of the friend zone lies with men. Men simply do not understand some key points in female psychology, and this misunderstanding costs them dearly.

One of these key points is the need of the vast majority of women for attention.

What do women desire? Attention, of course.

What do women need in a dating app? Attention. And maybe meet someone.

What do women need in a nightclub? Attention. And go out with friends. And maybe meet someone (well, sometimes, maybe, but not always).

What do women need in friendship? Attention. And friendship.

What do women need in a sexual relationship? Attention. And sex.

What do women need in a romantic relationship? Attention. And romance.

Wherever you spit, a woman wants attention. From men, including.

Accordingly, if you give a woman attention, she will be fine one way or another.

What men miss is that if a woman is given attention, this does not mean that this attention will evolve into something - into sympathy, for example.

More often than not, the opposite happens. If a woman is given unlimited attention from the very beginning, without showing by her behavior that you really want her from her, then in the end she will only want this from you. She will not want to sleep with you from the fact that you have enveloped her with your attention.

Men don't understand this. They want a woman, but because of their self-doubt, they were unable to position themselves not as a provider of attention, but as a potential lover.

He is not friends with you because he wants to be friends with you. He's friends with you because he wants you, but he can't.

A potential lover is not a friend. He behaves a little differently. It also provides attention. But not just like that. He still wants a girl, that's the most...

And if this doesn’t shine for him, he withdraws attention and goes to provide it in doses to other women.

The friend continues to be friends. At the same time, secretly wishing "not to be friends."

At the same time, a woman just has to go with the flow, be herself, and the men who are open-zoned will appear in her life almost automatically.

Can friendzone be considered friendship?

If you perceive the friend zone at face value, then certainly. From the side of the friend zone, it looks exactly like friendship. Two people communicate, are friends, but do not sleep. They know each other well, they have common jokes, common interests, common friends… why not friendship?

But if you dig deeper, it becomes clear why calling the friend zone friendship is still wrong.

The basis of such relations is not at all a commonality of interests, views, aspirations and mutual support - those wonderful things on which friendship between men is built, for example.

The basis of the friend zone is the uncompromising desire of a woman to receive attention, and the desperately hopeless, and with varying success, suppressed desire of a man to have sex with her.

The Friendzone is similar to friendship only for third parties. From the standpoint of the people involved, this is not a friendship at all. A man in such a relationship constantly experiences sexual frustration, because he does not get from a woman what he really wants from her - sex. With male friends, such feelings are excluded by definition, if we are talking about heterosexuals, of course.

A woman in such a relationship feels great because she receives attention from a man and does not provide him with sex - which she does not need from him. It would seem, why not a friend - we communicate, but do not sleep ...

But if I introduce this guy to a girl who is as cool/beautiful/smart/wonderful/chic as you, but who also reciprocates his feelings (assuming the guy will take the initiative, which he is clearly with you didn’t, and it’s his own fault), then you will disappear from his life.

You will see that this friendship (if you thought it was friendship) can fall apart very quickly. All this time, the guy was talking to you primarily not because you were friends, but because he desperately wanted to sleep with you. But he couldn't.

Now that his personal life has been organized, and he sleeps to himself, he still has this desire, of course (men are men), but it is much weaker. And the desire to somehow spend time with you, communicate with you andgive you attentionhe also lost a lot.

And it pops out of your friendzone like a cork out of a bottle.

How does resentment appear in the friend zone?

In a man, resentment arises when it hits him in the head to “confess to a woman his feelings.”

Naturally, the woman in this case says: “Thanks but no thanks ”.

The man has no choice but to swallow the pill.

Whether he digests it or not is his business. If he does not want to digest it, then he will go on about his own further, continuing to remain in this relationship.

If he wants to digest it, then he should, firstly, take up and secondly, to end this relationship immediately. Final and irrevocable.

In a woman, resentment arises when a man abruptly disappears from her life, starting her ignore . Of course, it is not a fact that she will be very upset by this. If she is beautiful, she has a million such men. But still, if it was a close enough friend-zoned friend, then she might be offended.

And what to do with the friendzone itself? And with all of the above, what about friendship between a man and a woman?!

What to do with the friendzone?

If you are a man, and for you your fantasies and dreams are more important than reality and your emotional well-being, continue to sit in the friend zone and further. Just don't complain later when you feel offended (and you will be offended, sooner or later).

If you are a man who strives for maximum awareness and sanity, I hope this article will make you think about the need to end all relationships in which you have been friend-zoned. In reality, in the friend zone, as a man, nothing good awaits you, and nothing shines. You are badly abused.

End this relationship immediately!

If you are a woman, then I understand perfectly why you will defend your friend zone from the attacks of Internet hacks like me. You love your friendzone. And you don't care that by supporting the friend zone, you're condoning an abusive relationship.

If you are striving for a conscious life and purity of perception, then I hope you will ponder over my words. Friendzone and awareness are incompatible. If you think that you are a conscious person, but at the same time you indulge in an abusive relationship (considering yourself innocent here, because youyou don't do anything like that ), then you are hypocritical.

In my opinion, the friendzone should be destroyed. No options.

So there is friendship between a man and a woman or not?

True friendship? Yes, but it's rare. People don't like to be friends with freaks.

Friendzone? Yes, but it's not friendship. Therefore, it does not count.

So it turns out that if friendship between a man and a woman means True friendship, then there is friendship, but it occursvery, very rare.

Therefore, if you have friends of the opposite sex, think about it.

Isn't it time to part with such friends?

Hello, dear readers of the blog site. The translation of the word friend zone is understandable even to a person who is not burdened with knowledge of English. Territory of friendship, it would seem, what could be more beautiful?

We all dream of finding a true friend - one that can go through fire and into water. But it breaks to pieces when love is wedged into a relationship.

The friend zone is a swamp from which you have to crawl away

The friend zone is the relationship between a man and a woman when one unrequitedly in love and friends in hope for more, and the second allows himself to be loved, pretending that he does not know anything.

1. immediately, if there was no attraction immediately;
2. after a couple of dates without sex, or even with it, if as a result of close communication there was no spark;
3. at the end of the novel (the famous "let's be friends!").

Why is such a specific relationship a swamp from which you need to crawl away as quickly as possible? What does the friend zone mean for a person? How to understand that you got the role of a page boy? What to do when you find yourself in a quagmire up to your ears?

We stock up on a sober look at things, otherwise this problem cannot be solved. The saddest thing about friendzone stories is it's self-deception, where one does not want to admit that they do not like and do not want him, and the second does not seek to abandon the admirer and his services that he does not need.

Such a relationship is reminiscent of a conversation between a deaf person and a blind person - both unable to honestly admit to themselves that they are stuck in a swamp.

The use of a man in love

Most often, a girl takes unnecessary courtship, although reverse situations are also not uncommon. What is the friend zone for someone who does not love?

It's cold blooded use of a man in love, shyly veiled under the wording "this is my friend."

All the talk about, they say, “I'm not like that, he came himself, what can I do” - attempts to put a good face on a bad game.

You can understand the host side - such a pseudo-friend will rush to the rescue in the middle of the night, complete small assignments, congratulate you on all conceivable holidays, say that 10 extra pounds add elegance to you, and in general, it’s nice to have faithful dog on a short leash.

A person who respects himself will not allow such a humiliating situation for another. But there are few such strong spirits.

Signs of being in the friendzone

The way out of the friend zone is the work of the drowning man himself, there is practically no hope that the “friend” will ruthlessly kick you out of this dead territory, people rarely refuse freebies.

The main problem of the friendzoner is understand your plight. A person skillfully builds bizarre illusions to avoid the unpleasant truth. He sits in the swamp of his invented friendship for years, completely dissolving as a person and losing the remnants of self-respect.

We are all truth-seekers, until it comes to our beloved, because it is very scary to face the unpleasant truth honestly.

Access to the solid coast is possible through beacons that help find objective reality.

1. No body clearance.
   If the girl is religious or has very strict rules, and a joint decision is made to keep her virginity until the wedding, everything is fine, the friend zone is not about you. In other cases, you can start to strain. Guys who accept the love of their "girlfriend" sometimes allow themselves to be lazy "sex for friendship", girls - almost never.
2. One gate play.
   You are constantly investing, but there is no return or it is minimal. A real friend will respond symmetrically to attachments. If you constantly rush to the rescue, like the possessed Chip and Dale, and in response - silence, consider that you are already in the quagmire with one foot.
3. Vest.
   If streams of their pain, insults, unhappy loves, intimate details and other slag are poured on you like Niagara Falls, which makes you feel uncomfortable, this is a friend zone.
4. Dynamo.
   When openly talking about feelings or trying to shorten the physical distance, you are told something like: "Now is not the time, I'm not ready yet, you're cool, but my heart is busy, etc." Nevertheless, communication continues, because you are a "native little man."
5. asexual creature.
   It is necessary to realize that the friend zone is an eraser for gender. A girl in love, admitted to friendship, becomes "her boyfriend", even if she is the spitting image of Marilyn Monroe. A powerful bearded man is perceived as a “girlfriend”, who is shown skeletons in the closet and dirty laundry.

Why is the friendzone evil?

Sitting in the quagmire of friendship for a long time hoping for more is very harmful to any person, regardless of gender, for a number of reasons.

1. Self-esteem suffers, especially if it has not been stable before. A person begins to think that he is so bad that it is impossible to love him.
2. Erased gender affiliation. A man ceases to perceive himself as masculine, a woman as feminine. The longer you stay in the role of a faithful dog, the more attractiveness for the opposite sex decreases.
3. Time is wasted, the friend zone can drag on for years.

Leaving, go away or how to deal with the friend zone

Before you begin work on self-rescue, you need to untie self-esteem from the look at you of another person. The trick is that if a loved one does not want you and does not consider you attractive to himself, then this does not mean that objectively you are like that.

One does not love - the other will adore. Your self-esteem should not rely on others: not on loved ones, not on friends, not on mom.

Having dealt with the independence of self-esteem, you can move on.

The best way leave the friend zone - leave. Just accept that you are not wanted. You are not a Tula gingerbread man to please everyone. No need to impose on someone who is sick of gingerbread. By the way, yes, you can make you sick, but you don’t love all people on Earth equally.

look to the ugliest person in your environment. Imagine that he fell in love, follows you with his tail, looks like a beaten dog, runs to the whistle, all the time strives to touch, kiss ...

Now imagine that you look the same in the eyes of your loved one. Realizing your humiliating position, it will be easier to leave an imaginary friend alone.

How to get out of the friend zone the smart way

If you have the strength to compete for a place at the main airfield (leave the friend zone without losing your loved one, but becoming loved by him), start the game, following certain rules.

General principles for getting out of the friend zone:

1. there are not enough of you (do not be intrusive);
2. interesting with you;
3. sad without you.

Do not forget that any game implies and possibility of losing. A girl may like you as an intellectual or a prankster, but there will never be a sexual attraction, because you are not at all her type.

A beloved guy appreciates you as a smart interlocutor, but he will never see a desirable woman in a thin brunette, because he always falls for busty lush blondes. Don't bang your head against a closed door, if the game fails, leave before you lose yourself.

Good luck to you! See you soon on the blog pages site

You may be interested

Wake up - what does this word mean? Why dream in a dream Health - is it such a simple concept? What is ambition - traits of an ambitious personality, the pros and cons of ambition What is egoism and egocentrism - what is the difference between them Ignorant vs Ignorant - What's the difference? What is psychology - its history, methods used, areas of application and directions Physical culture: what is it, its history, goals and types What are human rights: the opinion of the UN and scientists Who is pansexual - features of orientation and differences from bisexual Apathy - what to do if you don't want anything

If a woman has offered you friendship, don't refuse. Ask her to tinker with your car's brakes on Saturday, and then have a beer and a bargain to order call girls.

From the pickup manual.

We often hear this word from people around us. Especially when it comes to friendship between a man and a woman. There is no friendship between a man and a woman… No, in no case do I want to dispute or, on the contrary, prove that such friendship exists. For there is a very heated debate about this. Today we will talk about the concept of "friend zone".

The very meaning of the word is already clear to those who are at least a little versed in English. Are there any? It comes from the word « friend"- Friend. So, the friend zone is the friendship zone in the truest sense of the word.

It seemed that there is something wrong? Friendship, peace, chewing gum. However, the friend zone can be described as a game of one "gate". What is surprising if the concept itself is most often used in relation to girls to guys.

On fingers: the guy likes the girl, he cares in every possible way, gives flowers, helps in her affairs, i.e. by any means shows his sympathy and tries to please, and the girl, in turn, reacts to all these “marriage dances” with a sweet smile - we are friends with you.

You take care of her, you take care of her, but there is no desired effect. It would seem, why not leave this dubious "friendship"? Here in this, dear reader, and is the snag. Rose-colored glasses interfere.

Is the game worth the candle?

Is it really worth it? I am a supporter of the fact that the relationship is when both parties are interested in them, and not just one. And even if a girl really just “breaks” for decency, you can still see with the naked eye whether she breaks or “friendsonite”. At a minimum, if it drags on for a long time, then draw conclusions.

Is it convenient for you to do everything, and receive insignificant crumbs in return? Do you want to make her happy no matter what? Are you happy that she is happy? Well, without a sucker, life is bad, samEtz.

What consequences?

The friend zone scenarios I see are the following:

1. You will send dubious friendship to hell, because you get bored.

After all, how long can this go on? Yes, and friends all say that she is just using me.

2. You will see her with another, perhaps rose-colored glasses will fall off and return to the first point.

Oh yes, this is a good point, then after such a “random meeting” she will tell you that “We are friends with you. What's wrong?". And then he will accuse you of encroaching on the sacred - on your friendship.

3. You will find yourself a girl in the normal sense of the word and again the first point.

It is possible that you will simply switch to another, or another "she" will switch to you. Someone has to take control of the situation if you can't.

4. You will circle around her as long as possible until she marries and sends you.

Yes, the friend zone can go on for quite some time, and if this is not the first point, then you will get bored with it. As there? Nothing is eternal?

5. She won't get what she wants and welcome to the game in the second half.

Yes, yes, the bench is needed for that, that if the main player does not live up to expectations, a spare option is released on the field. But think, do you like the role of the second? What is it like to realize that you number 2.

Finally.

“And in the end I will sing ...”, or how is it sung there? So, in the end, I will say that a friend is a person who puts your interests above his own. But when you give without receiving equal in return, this is no longer friendship. I would even say that such a person is like an enemy, because the enemy, this is the person who sacrifices your interests for the sake of his own interests. And it does not matter what will be the subject of your sacrifice: money, gifts or personal time.