Beautiful cool statuses with meaning. Cool statuses. New, funny statuses about life, with meaning

I only hang out with people I like...

Money, appearance and their character do not matter to me.

To everyone who discusses my shortcomings, I say with a smile: "Relax! They love me like that too!"

Life has given me a lot: I learned to lie so that I myself believe what I say.

I have my own path to happiness... And I don't like it when other people's routes are imposed on me... BELIEVE, I will not put anyone behind the wheel of my life!

I didn't care about the black stripes of life... We'll whiten them!!!

I apologize to everyone I removed from my life! Nothing personal ... As, in fact, nothing in common ...

And I'm all hurt! And zashib everyone who is not happy with it.

I’m like a kettle ... I boil instantly, only you can’t wash off the scale with any means ...

Harmful, capricious, vindictive, vindictive, with high self-esteem, selfish, distrustful, stubborn, evil and insidious. Modest in intentions, innocent in thoughts! In a word - you will be surprised.

When I was young, I wanted to change the world. Now I'm trying to keep the world from changing me.

When you need me, look for me where you were when I needed you.

It is not necessary to be perfect, everything perfect is kept in the museum.

I am not interested in your personal life and I would like it to be mutual.

I have a great memory, so when I say "I don't remember," I just don't want to talk about it.

They tell me: well, you have statuses! What is it. You have not been in my thoughts yet.

I want to climb into the depths of my soul, but caution whispers - do not rush.

I'm not a gift or a surprise, but conquer me and you'll get a PRIZE!

Accept me for who I am! I won't get worse, but I can't get any better!!!

If an ordinary girl is a mystery, then I am a super-secret state secret!

Speak only good things about yourself, who said - they will forget, but what was said will remain!

If I had the opportunity to have dinner with the most any person on earth, I would also dance with myself.

The dumbest thing you can do is be unhappy with your life. How many excuses there are, how little sense it makes.

My conscience does not torment me, it is in the share and receives a percentage from each of my dirty tricks.

Don't take too much interest in my life. It may turn out to be so interesting that you will be disappointed in yours.

It is impossible to find oneself - one can only create oneself.

I'm too modest to have a good life.

It's hard to be a woman - you need to come up with some whims every day.

I'm not a candy that everyone likes ... I'm a diamond that not everyone can handle!

At my age, rushing is dangerous, being nervous is harmful, trusting is stupid, and being afraid is too late. It remains only to live, and for your own pleasure!

I'm not fond of sports, so I'm not going to run after anyone.

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Close one eye. Stick out your lower lip as far as you can. Make any wish ... Well, you rolled your lip, one-eyed.)))

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The husband decided to have sex with his pregnant wife. Just undress. He jumps up and runs away and comes in 5 minutes. And lollipop hangs on manhood. Wife: What is it? crazy? Husband: well, I can’t go to my son without a gift!

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- You can't fish here!
- But I don’t fish ... I bathe my worm ...

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"DAV", your life turns into a silken pleasure, and without giving you go around not fucking, irritable and angry!

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Yesterday was the first time in the gym... In my life... I have never raped myself like that... for money!!!

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Bachelors envy married men more often, and married single men more.

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Compote fermented and ... a holiday began in the pioneer camp ...))))))

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The weather did not justify the forecasts assigned to it ...

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The fact that he survived - it pleases, upsets what is out of the mind.

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Even when you write the word MAN through T9 ... first it is written DONKEY)))

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-Did you hang your laundry? - No, I pardoned him!

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The only man I'll run after will yell "PUT THE AX PLEASE"

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Nothing is more annoying in the appearance of a man than the lack of money.

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At the dentist.
- Dear, why are you shouting like that? I haven't touched your bad tooth yet! -
- Doctor, you pressed my balls with your elbow!

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S * ks is mathematics, where you need to take away clothes, add a bed, separate legs and, so that multiplication does not happen, extract the root in time ...))

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Worse than an elephant in a china shop, there can only be a hedgehog in a condom factory.

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Village. Petya runs to a neighbor and shouts:
- Aunt Klava, I am your Galya of that ...
So marry her.
- No, I ran her over with a tractor ...

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Verka Serduchka put on a skirt so short that Sergey Danilko became a little visible.

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- Darling, what is it?
-Belly dance.
- Yes? And it looks like wild dances of cellulite ...

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Kindergarten teachers left two Moldovan children in the sandbox. By evening they had built a dacha, a bathhouse and a swimming pool.

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Once upon a time there was an uncle with a good sense of humor, and his surname was Glass. Since he has no problems with humor, he named his children, a boy and a girl, Roma and Gina ...

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During Lent, the program “Good night, kids” is hosted by Tomato and Cucumber instead of Khryusha and Stepashka!

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Well, what can you say to a woman who squeezes your balls in her hand and gently asks: “Do you love me?”

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There is no more resourceful soldier on his native coast: if grenades ran out, he took off his socks and, ... death to the enemy!

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And how would men live without women? ... After all, they would have died as spermatozoa ...

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I don’t know how you are in bed, but you f * eat my brain with all your heart. Meaningful cool statuses

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Damn! Well, why in modern washing machines there is no button “Urgently stop washing! There is a CAT!!

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A training car flies up to the gas station. Behind the wheel of a woman: - Full tank, and hurry! - One minute! Just turn off the motor. - Yes, I already turned it off, the instructor is trembling.))

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Love is when you are not ashamed to go hand in hand with your motherfucker!

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The wife found out about her mistress - NIGHTMARE!!! Earthquake, pogrom, forest fire!!! I thought that life would hardly be worse for me ... ... But then the mistress found out about his wife!

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Sex with a husband is hard work, sex with a boss is a duty, sex with a godfather is a tradition, sex with a lover is a pleasure. So let's drink to the fact that after hard work, having fulfilled all our duties and not violating traditions, we will always enjoy life!!!

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The main organ in humans is the ass. He takes part in everything - in treatment, teaching, education, decision-making and searching for adventures.

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Learned to kiss on tomatoes and think you're ready for life? buy bananas)

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Dear GIRLS!!! if your name is mother's charm, or your name, I don't get acquainted!!! If your status is hard to find me, easy to lose. If you are 109 years old and if your address is where you are not ... BROTHERLY - Kill yourself against the wall.

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Our child began to swear. Maybe he heard it in the garden, maybe on the street. X * y knows him ...

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God!!! Make me a fool for a while, maybe I’ll find a bag of money, because fools are always lucky !!!
Just leave your mind a little so that you don’t take them to the police ...

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What do you do if your loved one doesn't love you?
- sell while expensive.

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Girl, do you have a smoke? - Young man, I even have something to eat, drink and spend the night ...

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- Honey, why didn't you just say that you're such a bitch??
- Surprieeiz =)

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I have many shortcomings, but I live in harmony with them)))

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Save from partying - take it as a wife)))

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I'm standing near the uni. A guy comes up to me: -Do you have a cigarette? I silently take it out of my pocket ... He: -And the lighter? Dala. He looks at me and like a joke, I suppose there is gum? I give gum. Me: -I'm a sorceress, and you spent all 3 wishes so stupidly!

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- Who are you? - I am President Medvedev! - What the hell Medvedev?

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God!!! Punish me with a big salary!!! Let me torment myself, thinking about what to spend it on ...

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Our mother cries loudly that everyone in the apartment is pigs, quieter mommy don’t cry for others the same shit.

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A man calls with a hangover to his sidekick: - Vasya, did we drink beer yesterday? - Drinking. - Did you drink vodka? - Drinking. - What about cognac? - Drinking. - Did you drink rocket fuel? - Drinking. - Have you gone to the toilet yet? - Not!? - Vasya, don't go, I'm calling from Tokyo!

Meaningful cool statuses

We are moving to live on a rainbow ... Tired of living on a zebra. 5

If you want to know a person, don't listen to what others say about him, listen to what he says about others. 7

Take everything you can from life! Then you want, but you can't... 13

Perhaps fate tests us not in order to show our weakness, but in order to discover our strengths in us ... 12 - statuses with meaning

And empty talk is useless
Like books, we've been read to cover:
When you're in love, you move mountains
When it's cold, you find excuses. 14

There are people - like snakes, there are people - like birds ... I ask fate: give me the strength not to break, to be brave in flight and not to be afraid of snakes! 11

You can sleep in the same bed and be completely strangers, or you can live in different parts of the country and be the closest. 10

When some doors of our happiness close, others open... But we look at the closed ones for so long that we don't see the open ones. 10

Problems should force you to act, and not drive you into depression. 14

Love can only be mutual. If feelings are only on one side, it is a disease. 13

When fate is wrong, when resentment rises to the throat, do not remember unnecessary words, wave your hand - it happens! 10

It is very easy to break down in life... It will be hard to get up... Well, if there is a support nearby, consider that everything is allowed... And if not, it is very slippery, and you are stuck in the mud... Let it be painful, very painful. .. Don't give up! You crawl! 9

Remember: regular practice of not giving a fuck significantly reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease. 12

There are people who every now and then bring something wonderful to the piggy bank of the day. I wish everyone to meet such people as often as possible! 9

Life is motion. Someone moves convolutions, someone flaps his ears. 9

Kill the hamster, cockroach and rat in you - become a man! 11

How nice it is when someone is waiting for us somewhere... Well, let them not wait, but just glad to see... Or maybe we are just loved and called, for this all without demanding a reward. 10 (1)

Appreciate those people who make you smile even in the worst of times. They have access to the most important strings of your soul... 10

The larger the goal in life, the harder it is to hit it. 12

When it comes to other people's sins, we are judges ... When it comes to our own, we are lawyers! 12

You meet a lot of people in life… But only a few of them are worthy… So there are a lot of stones in the mountains. Precious of them - units. 11

Erase unnecessary files from life, format the disk! Do not suffer for the past, start a new life! 11

Every guy in life has his own fifth element… Earth… Water… Fire… Air… And the one without which all this doesn't work. 11

The one who illuminates the lives of others will never be left without light himself. 11

There must be someone in the world who needs only one thing from you: that you are alive and that everything is fine with you. 10

People do not change much, they only temporarily play the right role for the sake of their interests. 10

A hopeless situation is usually called a situation from which we do not like the way out. 11

When life gives a person hundreds of reasons to cry, he forgets that he has thousands of reasons to smile. 9

If a person does not have time for you, feel free to turn around and run, run away from him, otherwise you will just stand idle all your life - waiting for your turn. 12

Nothing can be returned. Nothing can be fixed. Otherwise we would all be saints. Life was not meant to make us perfect. Whoever is perfect has a place in a museum.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Disappointment is always to blame for the one who was fascinated, and not enchanted, so do not scold the glass that seemed to you like a diamond.

You can't get used to anything in life, even life.

Everything in life is temporary. So if everything goes well, enjoy it - it won't last forever. And if things go wrong, don't worry, it won't last forever either.

Be yourself! If you seem not to be who you really are, you can get the wrong job, the wrong friends, not your love, and in general, not your life.

The lazier a person, the more his work is like a feat.

A person needs so little to be happy, but alas, so much to understand it.

A person consists of 70% water. If a person does not have a dream or a goal in life, then he is just a vertical puddle.

A person is wise when he understands the moment where you need to say something or keep silent.

Do you want to find your place under the sun in this life? Find it first!

Never tell people about your misfortunes, most are not interested at all, and the rest are glad that you have them!

Never tell people about your problems, 80% are not interested in them, and the remaining 20% ​​are glad that you have them.

There is no path that leads to happiness, happiness is the path itself.

There are no problems, there are unpleasant solutions.

Indecision is worse than a failed attempt; water spoils less when it flows than when it stands still.

"Fernando Rojas"

Some believers are behaving strangely. They do nasty things to others, and ask God for forgiveness.

It is difficult to offend the sage of autumn, because they do not take offense at the truth, but they do not pay attention to lies.

Silence and a smile are two powerful weapons. Smiling is a way to solve many problems, but silence helps to avoid them.

Is it possible to forgive an enemy? God will forgive! Our task is to organize their meeting.

You can hit me with the truth, but never pity me with a lie.

"Jack Nicholson"

People who are afraid to dream convince themselves that they are not dreaming at all.

People are almost like birds - just fly a little higher and shit on you.

Erich Fromm once said that if a person loves himself, then he can love others, but if he loves only others, then he does not love anyone.

How often it is easier for us to write what in life we ​​do not risk pronouncing.

Every person is a fool for at least five minutes a day. The real wisdom is not to exceed this time limit.

Each of us is dedicated. To someone or someone.

Everyone wants a beautiful rose, a beautiful night, a good friend. It is important to be able to love a rose with its thorns, the night with its mystery, a friend with all his problems.

If you try, you have two options: succeed or fail. And if you don't try, there's only one option.

If you don't know what you want, you end up with what you definitely don't want.

"Chuck Palahniuk"

If you can talk, you can sing, and if you can walk, you can dance.

If you did everything right, this does not mean that everything will be fine with you.

If vanity does not cast down all our virtues, then, in any case, it shakes them.

Do not look back. Go ahead all the time. People who really need you will definitely catch up with you.

Do not look for the best, but look for your own. After all, the best will not always be yours, but yours will always be better.

Do not litter your memory with insults, otherwise there may simply not be room for wonderful moments!

Don't forget the ones who saw you in shit and didn't turn away.

Don't live on memories, you're old enough for that. Make memories!

Only having known the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray ones.

Only a wise man is able to suppress his feelings and emotions to the dictates of the mind. Anger is characteristic of both a wise person and a fool, but the latter cannot subdue anger. In the heat of emotion, doing evil, he does not control the actions that return to him in double size.

What you believe in and what you expect with all your heart and soul will definitely happen!

Life is so arranged that we are happy only with the anticipation of changes, but the changes themselves do not mean anything to us.

I live opposite the cemetery. If you show off, you will live opposite me.

Someone else's life, like someone else's windows. Even if there are flowers on the windowsill, this does not mean that there is paradise inside.

You feel like an adult when you put on a hat, not because your mother said so, but because it's really cold.

To understand what the other person wants, take your mind off yourself for at least a minute.

If your life has come to a standstill, do not forget that it is you who is driving!

If they tell you that you have become somehow different, then you simply have become not as comfortable as you were before.

If you are in a lot of pain, pretend that you are very funny.

Friendship is like a diamond. It is rare, expensive, and there are a lot of fakes.

A moment is enough to become a hero, but it takes a lifetime to become a worthy person.

A diamond that has fallen into the mud still remains a diamond, and dust that has risen to the skies remains dust.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, act.

Slaves never fight for freedom - always only for a new master.

It is better to keep quiet and seem like a fool than to open your mouth and completely dispel doubts.

"Mark Twain"

Better love without a future than a future without love.

The one who is flying overtakes the one who is walking, the one who is walking overtakes the one who is crawling, and the one who is crawling overtakes the one who is standing still.

No matter how many bad things are said about me, I always have something to add. 9

Nothing limits your actions like the phrase "do whatever you want"... 13

Guys get jealous when they love. Girls get jealous even when they don't love. 10

Can't find a way for me? Get around! 15 - cool statuses

Comrade, let's go through to clarify the cash ... 8

Nothing strengthens faith in a person like a 100% prepayment. 8

If you know exactly who is to blame - do not give yourself away. 11

I walk with closed eyes and a smile from ear to ear, to meet future happiness, through a field of rakes... 11

From the statement: "How do I all ..." Crossed out. “Like I have you all…” Crossed out. “Yes, would you all go to ...” Crossed out. "Please grant me another vacation." 10

Dear Money! I miss you very much. I promise to buy you a new wallet. If you want, you can invite your relatives from Europe or America - I will not object. I will accept everyone! 12

I want chronic health, progressive happiness, recurrent success, hypertensive salary, and an eternally pregnant wallet without the threat of miscarriage!))) 10

The best way to test a guy for loyalty is to ask the sleeping man, in the morning, the question: "Will you go to yours or will you stay with me?" 12

According to statistics, the phrase "What a huge he is!" most often heard by a spider. 11

Briefly about myself: Year of manufacture 1991, Mileage 20, Light color, Height 162, Blue headlights, Documents on hand, Tuning is present, The body is not broken, not rusty, The roof is in place, but there are no brakes. All options, looking for some with a half turn. 10

You can’t look in the mirror when you eat - you’ll eat your happiness. And when you drink, you drink. And in the toilet, it’s better not to hang a mirror at all ... 12

Sex is when he wants it, erotica is when she wants it, porn is when both of them want it. 10

No money to change wardrobe - change jobs! For the new team, all your old clothes are new. 9

Flowers should be without a reason... Happiness should be unique... House - warm... Weather - no matter what the weather is! But love should be mutual. 10

All people bring happiness - some by their presence, others by their absence) 11

What would I give to a person who has everything? I would punch him in the jaw. 9

If men knew what women think, they would court twenty times more boldly. 10

Soul to soul, only matryoshkas can live. 13

I need to call my mom, tell me where I am. - Hello, mom? Where I am? 10

The little boy was watching porn. I did not understand the film, but I sweated a lot. 9

The main thing is that they are waiting for you at home, and not waiting 9

Chocolate is twice as tasty if you can’t) 10

The Lord keeps us all. It's just that everyone has a different shelf life. 11

I am kept by the great ancient Egyptian god of peace and tranquility - DANUNAH. 10

Every day, people around me prove to me that life without a brain is real. 10

Nobody dies a virgin: life will fuck us all. 11