A conversation about how a Christian can live a spiritual life in a secular world. Spiritual schedule of the day

– How can a Christian be saved in the modern world??

– It’s very simple: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). We must try to live according to His commandments in every place, at every time. If you make a mistake, you need to immediately repent before God, without waiting until you go to confession. Moreover, during confession you can forget that you did something bad. You must repent right away and not think that this is nonsense or a trifle, and do not put it off for later. After all, people often die quickly and suddenly. One friend had an abscess, then blood poisoning, and he died. It seems like such nonsense is an abscess, but no, it’s not.

And the worst sin is the one we commit consciously. Therefore, life in the modern world should proceed the same way as always: at every moment of time we must live according to the Gospel, according to Christ, otherwise we should not call ourselves a Christian, we should not deceive ourselves.

– Should we treat television as a work of Satan?

– It’s not about the TV, it’s about who watches the TV. They can broadcast anything on TV. If the Apostle Paul were now resurrected and he was offered to speak on television, he would agree. And we would treat TV well. Television is only a natural link in the process of scientific and technological development. We need to talk not about TV, but about people. Why watch trash? Even a cow, when she sees a cloud of dust flying towards her, closes her eyes. And a person, the more dirty things are shown on the screen, the wider he opens them.

- I am a hieromonk, I serve in the parish church, would I like to go back to the monastery or should I stay in the world because of difficulties?

– This question is not for me. How can a man in a tie give advice to spiritual people? The matter is very individual and personal. I know that it is very difficult to find a good spiritual leader these days. Previously, monasteries arose around people. Here, the Monk Sergius was there, and they came to him, or went to others. To Nil Stolobensky, Nil Sorsky... They came to a holy man, living next to whom meant being edified by his way of life, his word and deed. Now the situation has changed, we are restoring monastery buildings, but monasteries are not walls, temples and cassocks. Monasteries are a true spiritual life, separated from worldly vanity. Athos is closed to women, because for male monasteries this is the first monastic rule. Can you find at least one monastery in Rus' today where this rule is followed?

The Council of Bishops in 2000 decided that only married priests or elderly monks should be sent to nunneries. And yet, monks who are not even thirty are sent to provide care. This destroys the Church. Church life is not measured by the number of monasteries and churches. To measure by quantity, Catholics are a hundred times more spiritual than us. It must be measured by the spiritual structure of life. I don’t know where this exists. But if there is no monasticism, that is, a way of life that protects itself from the world, then there will be no Church. Remember that the Roman Church was the foremost and most revered of the Orthodox Churches, but became Catholic. The name will not save, the right life will save, but conditions are needed for it; where they are - see for yourself.

– I read that the word “damned” cannot be repeated often in prayer and thus slandered on one’s soul if one does not feel the sin of vanity, for “take care and love your soul.” Explain.

– The word “damned” does not appear so often in prayers, and if it does, it is in the sense of awareness of one’s sinfulness, one’s unworthiness, one’s damnation. There is nothing bad about this. This word precisely expresses what is in each of us. And God grant that we feel it. Moreover, whoever does not feel this within himself cannot pray properly. If I am not damned, if I am the best in the world, then what kind of prayer are we talking about? Then you can conduct a dialogue with the Lord called “prayer.”

I observed something similar in a Protestant church, when a parishioner sits cross-legged, it seems like he’s about to smoke, but for him prayer is a “dialogue with God.” And, unfortunately, this terrible idea sometimes creeps into our “theological” writings.

You need to understand the meaning of the word and feel that you are truly damned before God. If I cannot spend a single day as a human being, then who am I? We have only sins, only damnation. So there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of this word.

Now about the feeling of vanity and slandering oneself. Show me a man who has no vanity, I would kiss his shoe. I am not vain as long as I sleep, and even in my sleep I can still see something. And so, at the slightest provocation, one’s nose is already in the air. It is not for nothing that John Climacus has magnificent words that only an equal angel can endure human praise without harm. To the extent we are vain, to the extent we are offended and irritated and suffer. Because this is one and the same property of our soul. Do not confuse different things: one thing is the disease of my soul called “vanity” and on the other hand sin itself is an act of vanity. Now, for example, I am not vanity, because I have no time, I think about the issue of vanity, but it sits in me! A minute later they praised me and that’s it – I melted with delight. Sin and illness are different things: sin is a manifestation of illness, and if at the moment I do not have this manifestation, this does not mean that I do not have vanity. I must say, to great regret, that all passions exist in each of us, every single one, even those that we cannot even imagine, which, if told to us, we will indignantly reject. We must not forget the example of the Apostle Peter, who was excited: “Lord, I will die with You!”, but what he did in life, Whom he denied! (Matthew 26, 33)

Maybe I don’t remember when I became vain, but I know very well that I have vanity, and therefore I always need to repent while there is time.

– Say something about silence in the world.

- Yes, you already know. We need to talk less and pray more. And if a person feels at least a little what prayer is, then he will be drawn to it, and then he will even run away from empty talk. But to do this you need to feel, and to feel, you need to exercise. Silence has different levels: there is the silence of the tongue, and there is the silence of the mind. If we learn to be silent with our minds, then we will not chatter with our tongues, that is, we will not allow our thoughts to wander around the whole world and look at hippos, kangaroos and other all kinds of creatures. Then, you see, we’ll learn to remain silent.

– In the Russian Orthodox Church there is a tradition of mandatory confession before communion. There is no such tradition in the Greek Church. What should we do in our practice, when we do not have a confession, but an “account of sins,” when the priest hurries the confessor because the line is long, but internal sins remain with you?

– The sacraments of communion and repentance are two different sacraments. They are not directly related to each other. But it is a great blessing that in the Russian Church this connection, the inseparability of these two sacraments, is still preserved. If only this stops among our people, then I don’t know what will begin then. People will approach communion having forgotten what reverence is. In preparation for the sacrament, parishioners observe a one-day fast. Some impose a longer fast, but by the way, I am against this for the laity: people work, and it is as difficult for them to endure one day of preparation as it is for us to endure the entire Great Lent. A person prepares for confession, repents and thinks: “I see that I will be given two minutes. But I repent not to the priest, but to God. Lord, accept my repentance! I am sinful in this and that...” It is necessary repent before God internally as if He hears you, and say directly: “Lord, forgive me for this and that...” And then, when I approach the priest, due to lack of time, I will say the very best, and it would be enough. A priest is not a confessor. I have the opportunity to open my soul to my confessor, but it will take more time. Confession is something else, and therefore one must repent here. While waiting in the same line, you need to repent before God with all your heart.

And, thank God, that we continue the practice of the inseparability of confession and communion! I observed in the West, in Cyprus: Orthodox people meet - they have not seen each other for a long time, so they sit until one, until two in the morning, with wine and nuts, and there is a completely mundane conversation. In the morning, you look at the liturgy - these people go to communion. Where there is no reverence, no faith, there will be no benefit, only the danger of communion will be harmful. Remember the words of the Apostle Paul: “He who eats or drinks unworthily eats judgment for himself. That is why many of you are sick” (1 Cor. 11:29)2... So what? Further, in Church Slavonic they “sleep contentedly,” that is, literally, “die.”

That is, an irreverent approach to the sacrament can lead to death. Therefore, it is good that before communion we are required to have confession.

– Greek monks smoke and it is not a sin for them, but for our monks it is a sin to drink tea. Why is this so?

– Let us turn again to the concept of sin. In Christianity, anything that harms a person’s body, soul or spirit is considered a sin. It is a sin to overeat, because it harms the body. It is a sin to be angry, even doctors will say that it is harmful. So smoking does not bring any benefit to a person, it does harm, therefore, it is a sin. We can only regret that smoking is allowed in Greece - the process of secularization is underway. Soon the concept of sin will disappear and anything will be considered a virtue.

– In the encyclopedic dictionary of modern Russian civilization it is said about Bishop John (Snychev) that his activities contributed to the growth of the Orthodox movement. How do you evaluate the activities of Bishop John? Who is now the confessor and preacher of Russia?

“We Russians don’t know how to measure anything. Dostoevsky was right when he said about the Russian: “Man is too broad, I would narrow him down”3. If we start praising, the earth will give way; if we start scolding, we will grind it into powder. As for the Bishop’s fans, well, you love him and respect him, but know when to stop, otherwise he has already become the confessor of Russia, is that really possible? I knew him, he was indeed a very pleasant person, a sincere Christian, but very low in his intellectual abilities. He wrote a book, “The Autocracy of the Spirit,” where he turned the whole story upside down, where Ivan the Terrible and his oprichnina were made saints, which is incomprehensible. A certain group of people uses his name as a battering ram to oppose the hierarchy of the Russian Orthodox Church, publishes a newspaper in huge quantities, and sends it out free of charge everywhere. And this despite the fact that there is an undeclared, but very real war against Russia. They really need to split the Russian Church, they need a civil war, and all their strength is being devoted to this.

There was a newspaper called "Russian Thought". In fact, there was nothing Russian there; the newspaper was Jewish. One correspondent named Shtarkman directly wrote that Russia poses the greatest threat to US security, so the main task is to introduce non-Russian philosophies and religions into Russia, including Catholicism as one of the powerful international forces.

Not everything is said here. Movements that hide behind the name of one metropolitan or another confessor must be assessed by their fruits. They bring confusion and do not give anything good to the human soul. And I advise you not to fall for their advertising: “Spiritual Father of Russia,” and even with a capital letter.

Let me give you an example. In the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, where the relics of one of the greatest saints of the Russian Church, St. Sergius, are located, not a single icon streamed or does not stream myrrh, but somewhere in apartments and churches hundreds and thousands of icons stream myrrh. Go there and you yourself will find peace. Why? I advise you to think about this.

– What is spiritual voluptuousness and how to distinguish between spiritual and emotional tenderness?

“A man is already full and is still looking for something else to eat.” At the feasts of Petronius,4 for example, two nightingale tongues were served as dessert on small golden plates. I don’t know what they felt, but gourmets then were of the highest category, they were looking for special pleasures. And what does someone who finds himself in a whirlpool, in the abyss, look for? He shouts: “Save!” Hieromartyr Peter of Damascus noted: “The first sign of the beginning health of the soul is the vision of one’s sins, countless as the sand of the sea.”5

You probably noticed that we cannot be touched from any side: we cannot be scolded - we are offended; If you can’t praise, you start to become vain; It is impossible for someone to feel good - we begin to envy; We can’t sit down at the table with delicious food - we overeat. There is no way to approach the person from any side, he is covered in boils everywhere, and yet, he feels exactly like Gorky: “Man – that sounds proud.”

Orthodoxy speaks of diseases that sit in a person from all sides. And the first sign of emerging health is the ability to see these abscesses. If I see it, I’ll start treatment, but until I see it, I’ll tell others: “Treat yourself.” In illness, a person does not seek spiritual consolation, he seeks healing, and so he is glad when, at least on the nose, the sore is gone. Healing brings him pleasure: anyone who has been seriously ill understands this very well.

And it’s a completely different matter when the sated one is looking for something else to pick with a fork, when the unhealed one is looking for spiritual pleasures. He, poor thing, does not see what state of illness he is in, his soul is already decomposing, and he also needs pleasures. This is called spiritual voluptuousness: a person seeks “gracious experiences”, “divine revelations” and “spiritual pleasures”.

If Christ is the Savior, then I am the one who is perishing, and does the perishing one really seek voluptuousness? The leper seeks not pleasure, but healing.

Therefore, anyone who in Christian life takes the path of seeking various spiritual gifts and experiences, and delight in prayer, has taken the vicious path. By the way, Catholic saints walked this path.

– What is the difference between spiritual joy and spiritual joy?

– When we talk about spiritual joy, we are talking about the neuropsychic aspect. And spiritual is joy of grace.

References

1. “Great people tend to endure insults courageously and with joy, while saints and saints tend to listen to praise without harm.” [Ladder, 22:12]

2. (1 Cor. 11:27-30) “Therefore, whoever eats this bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will be guilty of the Body and Blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, and thus let him eat and drink from this bread from this cup. For whoever eats and drinks unworthily eats and drinks condemnation for himself, without considering the Body of the Lord. That is why many of you are weak and sick, and many are dying."

3. "...Another person, even higher in heart and with a lofty mind, begins with the ideal of the Madonna, and ends with the ideal of Sodom. Even more terrible is someone who, already with the ideal of Sodom in his soul, does not deny the ideal of the Madonna, and his heart burns from it, and Truly, truly, it burns, just as in his youthful, blameless years. No, a man is broad, too broad, I would narrow it down. The devil knows what it even is, that’s what! What seems shameful to the mind, is all beauty to the heart. Is there beauty in Sodom? Believe that in Sodom it sits for the vast majority of people, did you know this secret or not? The terrible thing is that beauty is not only a terrible, but also a mysterious thing. Here the devil fights with God, and the battlefield is the hearts of people.. ".

Dostoevsky F.M. Brothers Karamazov. PSS in thirty volumes, vol. 14, – L.: Nauka, 1976, p. 100.

4. Book of Petronius Arbiter "Satyricon" (I-II centuries AD) Satiricon or satirarum is an ancient satirical novel. The main episode of the surviving part of the novel is a feast at Trimalchio, a rich tyrant from freedmen, who does not know what new luxury and eccentricity to come up with for his boundless arrogance and pleasure. Here we see pictures of washing in the bathhouse, home and dining conditions, vulgar amusements, recitation of impromptu poetry, the stupidity and vulgarity of the behavior of the owner, his wife covered in gold and jewelry, but stingy to the point of stinginess, unusually rude marital bickering in the presence of guests.

5 Venerable Peter of Damascus. Creations. Book one. A necessary and very useful indication of the seven bodily works.

Alexey Osipov, professor at the Moscow Theological Academy
Transcription of lectures by A.I. Osipova Cultural Center "Russian Week"
Internet magazine "Russian Week" - 11/15/2007.

Is it possible to live like a Christian today?

Our life takes place in the time that the Lord has appointed for it. This time is God’s given, and we do not have the power to change it to another. In it we must walk our path of salvation. How, with a goal life of the next century, Can and should we use the time of this century? Today we are talking about this with the abbot of the Danilov Stavropegial Monastery in Moscow, Archimandrite Alexy (Polikarpov)

Difficulties or inconveniences for salvation can be found at any time. And it cannot be said about our time that it is especially difficult. When the Monk Seraphim of Sarov, who lived almost two hundred years ago, was asked the question: “Why are so few people being saved now?”, he answered: “Christ is alone. He always was, is and will be.” That is, our salvation is always accomplished when we are saved from sin, fulfill the Gospel commandments, cleanse ourselves from lawlessness, and thus inherit eternal life. Christ is one and the same, but, according to St. Seraphim, we often do not have enough courage and strength to force ourselves to salvation. It is said in the Gospel: The Kingdom of Heaven is guarded by force, and those who use force take it away (Matthew 11:1-2), that is, those who force themselves. The area of ​​compulsion, say the holy fathers, should extend to everything. For big and small.

If, when we think about the path of salvation, about the Christian life, great and terrible feats that the saints performed immediately appear in our consciousness, it, of course, seems to us that we are not able to do this. But each of us has our own feat. And its essence is that we, prompted by love for Christ, prompted by the fear of God, encourage ourselves to live no -God's. In everything: big and small. The Apostle tells us: Whether you eat, drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). And if a person, doing every work he does, will do it for the glory of God, and when starting any enterprise, he will begin to comprehend it: p o -Whether it is conceived by God or not, then all its deeds will be Christian. And he will succeed in his salvation.

And yet, perhaps, there are some peculiarities of our time?

Today there is no such obvious dominance of atheism as we had quite recently. A person can profess his faith openly, he can say that he is a Christian. But again, if he has enough courage. And the point was not that he would be terrorized, but that he would have to testify to these words with his life. Really live like a Christian. What if each of us asks ourselves the question: Am I a Christian? That's it, with a capital letter. Am I really a disciple of Christ? Then, of course, many will have to admit that although they read the Gospel, they are far from it. Bishop Anthony of Sourozh gave the following example in one of his conversations. One day, a man far from Christianity, from the Church, asked to be given the Holy Scriptures to read. And when he became acquainted with the Gospel, he perhaps sharply, passionately, but so sincerely said: “Who are you after this, if you know this truth and do not live by it?!”

The theory of Christianity today is accessible to everyone, there is an opportunity to put it into practice. However, practice is often sluggish. Our lack of will...

I have heard the term: “consumer Christianity.” This is what they say when people come to church just to light a candle because they need something from God. They will come in some kind of need, and then they will be “free” again. What can you say about this phenomenon?

It happens... But I am not inclined to brand it with shame. People come to Church in different ways. Someone came at the behest of his heart. And some have experienced a tragedy in life, having lost loved ones. If a person feels that his loved ones need his prayers, and he himself needs consolation, he goes to church. Someone comes at the behest of the mind. The mind asked for sublime truths, and a person, having understood himself and his life, comes to church to find evidence for his thoughts.

People come to church in order to light a candle... Well, there is also such an image of piety: a person comes to church at a certain time in his life, lights a candle, prays some of his prayers and leaves. Is it good or bad? Probably not bad at some stage. But this stage definitely needs to be expanded. To come to church consciously and communicate with Christ not only in a ritual way, but also in a different way: with soul and heart. Such communication changes a person, and we can often observe this. Yesterday he came in for a minute to light a candle, but today he stands throughout the service and, together with everyone, prays for “peace from above and the salvation of our souls,” “for the well-being of God’s holy churches,” “for the goodness of the air and the abundance of earthly fruits.”

People pray for different things. Why shouldn’t there be “consumer” prayers? They pray for health, for children, for family. Someone came to pray for their cat, for their dog, as we sometimes hear or read in notes. This amuses us a little and touches us. But the Lord also responds to such prayer. Vladyka Nestor, missionary of Kamchatka, recalled that once in his childhood he prayed that the Lord would have mercy on him, his mother, father and the dog Lily of the Valley. Every prayer is accepted by the Lord. And this is good. In spiritual life it is bad when we stand still. When we develop a harmful addiction, our faith and church life become a kind of ritual. Even if it is necessary, without which we cannot live, but, nevertheless, cold and callous. When faith turns into hypocrisy - a vicious state of the soul, in which a person has only the external, ritual forms of Orthodoxy. Those who have the forks of piety, but have denied its power(2 Tim. 3:5).

What can you do to avoid this?

We must put ourselves before God more often: the Lord and I. How I live no -God's or not? And if there are disagreements between our life and the Gospel commandments, then try to overcome these disagreements. For this, we have such help from God as the Sacrament of Confession, in which we open our souls to Him, and the Sacrament of Communion, in which we unite with Christ. In the church sacraments, the Lord gives us strength and courage to resist sin and strengthens our faith.

Selfishness has been actively developing in society lately. And it is no longer treated as something negative. On the contrary, television, the secular press, and especially advertising preach self-love as the most convenient and promising position in life. Sometimes church people also become “infected” with such sentiments. What can you tell them?

Egoism as a life position cannot be promising. Maybe not for long. When concerns about personal gain, about our own comforts become leading in our life, then love for loved ones and for everyone around us will inevitably drain out of it. And then Christ leaves. What are the prospects here? “Without God you can’t get anywhere,” people say. Will the Lord come to our aid in some of our affairs, if in everything we are guided not by the love that we should show to our neighbor, but only by our own selfish considerations?

Where people are busy only with themselves, think only about themselves, admire only themselves, indifference and callousness are certainly born. Society, one might say, is “hardening”. The principle is legitimized: my hut is on the edge. But Christ tells us that we cannot be indifferent to our neighbor, and our hut cannot be on the edge.

Interesting in this regard are the thoughts of Elder Paisius of Athos, who says that an indifferent person cannot become either a monk or a family man. In general, it turns out that it is difficult for an indifferent person to be a good Christian. Because Christianity is known through love. By love of God, by love of neighbor and by reasonable love for oneself.

Elder Paisius said about himself that when he, living on Mount Athos, left his cell, he always listened to see if there was a disaster somewhere, and sniffed, and then there were frequent fires, to see if there was a smell of burning. He couldn't really help, but he could pray. This is an example of how a person should treat himself and the world around him. In Christian life, it is important not only to exclude the leadership of passions, but to “include” the leadership of love.

The Venerable Abba Dorotheos, in his teachings, gives a wonderful diagram that shows the relationship of people to God and to each other. A circle, in its center is God, people in radii go to God and become closer to each other. That is, the closer to God, the closer to each other, the closer to each other, the closer to God.

Do you think any new sins have appeared in today's life?

There are more temptations. And opportunities to follow them. Drug addiction, addiction to slot machines, computer addiction, when computers are not used for good. Sometimes TV becomes the master of a person’s soul and body. And then there’s telephone mania. Especially for women. We can say that these are new sins. But they must be resisted just like the old ones. And in order for the Lord to help us, to keep us from sin, we need to be aware of every action: am I doing the right thing, is it time for me to go to confession?

Previously, when there was at least a general relative purity of morals, people looked at their relationships with each other differently. They looked differently at marital principles, at building a family, at maintaining fidelity. Now both men and women take it too easily. I don’t think it’s worth blaming them, branding them with shame. Life gives its lessons, and not always the best. Nowadays there is a lot of unclean, sinful information. It comes not only from the media, but also from others. Previously, it was not customary to talk about one’s sins; they were hidden; now people are much less embarrassed.

Active citizenship. Is it appropriate for an Orthodox person?

It is necessary to actively respond to anti-Christian and anti-social phenomena. They say that God is betrayed by silence. But the reaction must be appropriate. If you think you should say something, and at the same time you know that you will be heard, you need to say it. If you want to testify to your position in some other way, and this testimony of yours can change the situation, then do as you see fit, according to your heart. But in the Holy Scripture there are these words: Do not reprove the blasphemer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you (Proverbs 9:8). It’s a good idea to have them in mind. Sometimes the situation can be changed or, at least, rarefied, simplified by your words. And sometimes you know in advance that there will only be a surge of your emotions and nothing more, and the reaction to your actions will be negative, then it is better to hold back. In a word, it is also necessary to act according to reason.

But if in his inaction and silence a person is guided by fear, selfishness or laziness, then, of course, he will be wrong.

Information has appeared that the prayer books will be translated into Russian. I would like to know your opinion on this issue.

It happens that a person prays in his own words, and the Lord hears him. Cell and home prayer can also be in Russian. As for the translation... If it is difficult for someone to read Church Slavonic, then you can first read the interpretation of the prayers. In order not to reduce the language to our level, but to catch up with the Church Slavonic language ourselves. Although in some places translations are also useful so that a person can express himself in familiar words. But at home. Liturgical language is a treasure that we need to preserve. Russification of the language may well lead to vulgarization, to coarsening, and this, in turn, may weaken the spiritual foundations.

I have heard from young people that Christianity is not viable now, because Christianity is when nothing is possible. How do you respond to such a statement?

Why is this Christianity when nothing is allowed? Such a great follower of Christ as the Apostle Paul said: Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is profitable; everything is permissible for me, but nothing should possess me (1 Cor. 6:12). If we are talking about the pleasures of life, then everything is possible, but in moderation. And if there is no measure, then this is already a passion.

Of course, when you’re young, everything is interesting, you want to try everything, be on time everywhere. But if you want to achieve something, you need to limit yourself. Now, if a river has a wide path, then it is shallow. It flows, flows, and gets lost in the creeks. And if the path is narrow, compressed by the banks, then the river is deeper. With difficulty, it will make a channel for itself and flow somewhere.

Each person is guided in life by his own values. If the center of my values ​​is God, then I check everything in the world to see if it is God’s or Christ’s? And if so, then it’s mine and possible. And if not, it’s not mine. When the center of values ​​is purely pleasures, then higher education will seem unviable. After all, when you study, you can’t do much either. To some, the multiplication table may seem lifeless. It’s also impossible for three times seven to turn out to be forty.

In the modern world, divorce has become a common solution to an unsuccessful family life. The Church has always stood guard over the family and has a negative attitude towards divorce. But is it worth continuing family life if both spouses, as they say, cannot stand each other?

Just because they can't stand each other doesn't mean they aren't right for each other. But only that they have no patience. And this is not a motivation for divorce. Well, let's say they got divorced. She did not tolerate Petya, and then she will marry Vanya - now she must tolerate him. Will she be able to? Question. And the question is big. This is how it happens: they step on the same rake several times.

A Christian or a Christian, first of all, must turn his attention to himself. fight with their shortcomings, overcome your passions, go to confession more often. Call on God for help. And try, with God’s help, to save the family. But this is work. And serious work.

Of course, if a person gets married only to receive pleasure, then when these pleasures, for one reason or another, end, he already sees his stay in the family as meaningless. And the very existence of his family seems meaningless to him. But this is not Christian. A Christian knows that he does not marry only for joy. And he will have more than just consolation in his family. Marriage is a cross. The cross of life together, the cross of humility before your other half, the cross of patience with its shortcomings. Orthodox spouses together carry this cross and follow in the footsteps of Christ.

What do you see as the main problem of the modern family?

It's the lack of patience. The fact is that there is no habit of being dumb, of remaining silent. It is possible and necessary to teach and rebuke your family, but with love for them, with condescension for their weakness. And here the right word is not as important as the well-chosen time for it.

In a proper Orthodox family, usually the head is the husband. But what to do if, due to life circumstances or character, the wife is a general and the husband is a private?

If we use this comparison, I will note that there cannot be a general without an army consisting of privates. If in a family the “general” commands, and the “army” obeys and everyone is happy with each other, then such a family lives and prospers. But the wife, with her “generalship,” should have condescension and love for her husband, and he, in turn, should appreciate his wife for taking upon herself some of his burdens and problems. Although even in this situation, she must remember that the head of the family is, after all, the husband. And in life there may, even definitely will be, situations when she will have to obey him.

And if in such a family the husband, not having any talents, not having firmness, and, above all, not having Christian wisdom, asks from time to time: “Who is the boss of the house?”, and even hits the table with his fist. .. But at the same time, neither with his life, nor with his wise behavior, nor with his deeds can he show that he is truly the master. Then, well, the spouses have only one thing left to do - tolerate each other. That's all.

Tell me, are there any peculiarities in the behavior of women in the temple?

In the Russian Orthodox Church, it is customary for girls and women to come to services in modest clothing that covers their entire body, with their heads covered and without makeup. In some temples, women stand on the left and men on the right. This custom is especially appropriate during bows. Of course, now in the West, and even here, sometimes women come to church in trousers and without a headscarf... But our tradition seems to me more chaste, purer. It can be said to be sanctified by ten centuries of Christianity in Rus'. We base it on the words of the Apostle that the adornment of a woman not external braided hair, not golden headdresses or finery in clothing, but the hidden person of the heart in the incorruptible beauty of a meek and silent spirit, which is precious before God(1 Pet. 3, 3-4).

And here there is reason to talk about one more feature of the behavior of a Christian woman in church - about silence. Sometimes for servicea woman walks around dressed inappropriately. Out of ignorance, or because she has developed such a special view of herself and cannot dress differently. And because of this, they shush her, rudely pull her back, it happens, and drive her away. Such active “piety” of some church parishioners is, of course, inappropriate. Here you can just remember the apostolic commandment: keep your wives silent in churches(1 Cor. 14:34).

What about women's trousers? Is it possible or not?

If you can or cannot answer, then you must indicate where this is said. And nowhere is it said about women's trousers. The Holy Scriptures only mention that a woman cannot wear men's clothing. But at that time neither women nor men wore trousers. However, we will never see women’s trousers in the folk costumes of Christian countries. Russian tradition also represents a woman in a skirt or dress. Why break it?

But if some woman wants to defend her right to pants... Well, please. And if he can’t do otherwise, let him come to church in his usual clothes. But let him come. And there, over time, her consciousness will change, and she will see what is good and what is inappropriate.

How much should children obey their parents, and up to what age?

Children must obey their parents at all times. And how much?.. Of course, no one asks the baby. He is simply swaddled, packed, unpacked. He can express his displeasure, but mother pays little attention to this. But gradually the child grows, and at the same time his obedience grows. Obedience must be based on love. And therefore it depends on both children and parents.

Sometimes, in large families, where there are already quite adult children and old parents, parents shift all their worries and affairs onto their children. And the children do everything and take care of everything. They feed, water, care for and give rest to the parents. And if such adult children respect themselves, respect their parents, then they always listen to them. And the word of their parents is significant, serious and important for them. Any age.

It happens, for example, that a very old dad, perhaps already a little out of his mind, will say to his son: “You should slow down there.” And a loving son will listen: “Why is it slower? Maybe he was told that? Maybe slower and better? And you will begin to do your work more slowly. And then, you see, it turned out well.

How to protect a child from negative information that he may receive at school from other children or even from a teacher?

It's good when a child is friends with his parents. He will come home from school and tell them everything. Then they will be able to warn him.

When sending a child to school, a mother should definitely pray. So that the Lord would protect her child. He sent an Angel to protect him. The mother must bless the child so that his head is a receptacle of good knowledge, so that he is well-behaved. And don’t just say: you can’t do this or that. He probably already knows this memo by heart. But pray like this... Together with him, maybe. Read a short prayer from the heart so that the Lord will hear both mother and child. If two of you agree on earth to ask for anything, then whatever you ask will be given to them by My Heavenly Father.(Matt. 18, 19).

How to treat the so-called civil, that is, not registered marriage?

Negative. We know that a boy and a girl must have physical intimacy before church marriage. We can get married only after civil registration. So, first register, then get married, and it will be a family.

A common story. The girl fell in love with the young man. Good, but not a believer. It seems to her that in marriage she will be able to lead him to faith. How realistic is this, in your opinion?

Everything must be decided before marriage. And when already in marriage there is a showdown, especially on religious, spiritual grounds, on the basis of faith, then it is very difficult. Of course, it happens that a person grows in this sense, looking at his half. But it’s better if this is done before marriage, when it seems that all the spears have been broken, it seems that all the issues have been clarified, each other’s characters have been recognized. Then: God bless!

If he is a good person, and she sees her happiness only with him, and does not see any obstacles for herself, then it’s too late to ask for advice. Only they say: getting married is not a disaster, as long as you don’t get married. I know one woman, now she is already elderly, and when she was younger, she said with bitterness: “My husband and I do not have a single sacrament shared, except for the Sacrament of Marriage.” She is from a church family, a believer, and, apparently, at one time he met her halfway and they got married. But that's all. They had no spiritual community. And it was bitter for her.

There are also the words of the Apostle that husbands who do not submit to the word can be won for the Church by obedience and the lives of their wives... when they see your pure, God-fearing life(1 Pet. 3, 1-2). You can base your hope on them. But then a believing wife needs to strictly demonstrate this in her family. godly living. Be obedient, don’t be arrogant, don’t constantly nag your husband for what he’s wrong about. Pray for him, be an example of Christian life in everything: fidelity, love and harmony. Then, perhaps, her husband will follow her.

Conversed with Archimandrite Alexy

Archpriest Sergius Nikolaev

"From morning to evening. How to Live Like a Christian" is a spiritual tip for those who care about their own soul. The book talks about how to pray at home and in church, how to behave in difficult circumstances and during successful periods of life; how to treat parents and raise children correctly, how to remember and love those who are no longer with us. The book provides the basis for a conscious attitude towards worship and the Sacraments of the Church, as well as the rules of external behavior in the temple, in dealing with the clergy and parishioners, and much more. The recommendations contained in the book are supported by quotations from the Holy Scriptures, instructions of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church.

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The given introductory fragment of the book From morning to evening. How to live like a Christian (M. A. Dubrovina, 2017) provided by our book partner - the company liters.

Things to remember during the day

« N More necessary than all feats is prayer. Prayer is a means for attracting and a hand for receiving all the graces that are so richly poured out on us from an inexhaustible source - the boundless love and goodness of God for us,” instructs St. Nicodemus the Holy Highlander.

That is why we need to try to develop the skill of prayer not only in the morning, but throughout the day, especially before difficult and responsible tasks. It is very important to pray to the Lord before starting any difficult task, before a serious conversation, before using transport, etc.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.(James 1:17). Therefore, you can receive God’s blessing, like any gift of God, only through prayer. Archimandrite John (Krestyankin; †2006) edifies: “Accustom yourself to begin and end every task with prayer. And then life will go outwardly in the same direction, but its content will be different. It will all be sanctified by God’s blessing.”

If the practice of prayer takes root in our lives, then we will understand how soul-healthy it is to live in an atmosphere of prayer.

Everyday care

In earthly life, a person needs shelter, clothing, food and other things, so he needs to get them and think about it. Saint Theophan the Recluse (†1894) instructs:

“There is nothing sinful in the cares of everyday life. This is how God was pleased to arrange our lives. But the enemy, creeping up on this sinless person, instills a sinful thing - this is an incessant worry that weighs on both the head and the heart. All the Savior’s instructions about neglect are directed against this disease: Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things: enough for each day is its own care.(Matt. 6:34). This does not mean that you should do nothing, but that, while doing everything, you should not be tormented by unnecessary worries...

The sin of over-concern is that it wants to arrange and obtain everything itself without God; by the fact that after that he teaches us to rely on hope on what we have gained and on our other ways exclusively without God’s Providence, and through both of these, we instruct us to consider the blessings of life as our main goal and our present life as our ultimate goal, without extending our thoughts to the future life. You see what a God-fighting spirit moves in this multi-concern!”

We should try to do all our everyday affairs as if for the Lord Himself, that is, from the heart, with a clear conscience, with pleasure, without allowing any slowness or negligence in them. Holy Scripture teaches: Cursed is he who does the Lord's work carelessly(Jer. 48, 10).

In his “Paternal Testament,” the self-taught writer and wise peasant Ivan Tikhonovich Pososhkov (†1726) writes: “Work in all truth, without laziness and guile, - do not drive the day to evening, but bring the matter to an end... Live peacefully with your fellow workers, not argue, and if they offend you in any way, be patient. Scripture says: He who endures to the end will be saved(Matthew 10:22) ... Without God’s will, no one will harm you, just be a man of God yourself, live in God’s way in everything, do not complain about anyone, not even your enemy, and remember that poverty and wealth are all from Gentlemen... God forbid you to do and say as unscrupulous people do and say: “If only you can get away with it,” but try to do everything according to your conscience, as before God... And if your master sometimes offends you in some way, do not be angry and not only to people, but also to God, do not complain about him... Say to yourself: “For my sins, God sent me such a master or comrades, I must endure.” For such your patience, for your gentleness and meekness, God will not leave you and will lead you out of your need - not by your intelligence, but by His Divine Providence, and will not only endow you with this earthly wealth, but will not deprive you of the future Kingdom of Heaven.”

The Lord said to His disciples: You can't do anything without Me(John 15:5), therefore, if our affairs are successful, we should not be proud of this and attribute success to our own strengths and skills.

If the work we must do is difficult and requires special patience, then, in the words of Metropolitan Gregory (Postnikov), “don’t be cowardly, don’t be lazy, don’t be annoyed, don’t indulge in anger, impatience, murmuring, etc., help yourself some kind of edifying singing, secret prayer, raising the heart to the Lord God in some short prayerful sighs to Him... Such exercises help keep the soul in union with God, drive away all evil from it, strengthen it in goodness and support bodily strength.”

Saint Theophan the Recluse teaches: “Choose several short prayers or directly take the twenty-four prayers of Chrysostom and repeat them often with appropriate thoughts and feelings. As you become more proficient, your head will be enlightened by the memory of God and your heart will be warmed.”

Among the short prayers, the holy fathers recommend the following: the publican’s prayer “God, be merciful to me a sinner” (see: Luke 18:13) or “God, cleanse me, a sinner,” as well as “Lord, have mercy.” Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov) considers the Jesus Prayer the most excellent of all short prayers: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

The Venerable Aristoclius (†1918), the Elder of Athonite and Moscow Wonderworker (his relics rest in the Moscow Church of the Great Martyr Nikita on the Shvivaya Hill behind the Yauza, in the Athos Compound), instructs to continually prayerfully call on the Most Holy Theotokos: “Whether you go to work or whatever you are doing, say: “ I place all my hope in You, Mother of God, keep me under Your roof.” And so always call on the Mother of God, and also: “Mother of God, do not despise me, who requires Your help and Your intercession” - or otherwise, as you know how - just call.”

Yaroslavl Icon of the Mother of God

The famous elder Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) says: “In order for our affairs to be successful, we must always ask for God’s blessing and not begin any business without prayer; in case of failures, let us not indulge in cowardice and despondency, but with patience we will begin to trust in the mercy of God, continuing our labors and pursuits. And the Lord, looking at our submission to His will, will crown our efforts with the desired success. Receiving contentment from the Lord in bodily goods, let us not become attached to them, but, on the contrary, we will always remember the commandment of God: Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you(Matthew 6:33) - and you will be sons of the Kingdom.”

Christian work, or the Path to virtue

While going about your normal business and getting caught up in the bustle of the world, you should not forget about your Christian responsibilities, since they are entrusted to us by the Lord.

First of all, we must love the Lord. And loving God means trying to recognize His will, moving away from everything that is contrary to the Lord, and joyfully and diligently doing what is pleasing to Him.

The Apostle Luke says how we should love the Lord: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.(Luke 10:27).

Righteous John of Kronstadt interprets these gospel words this way: “To love God with all your heart means not to have attachments to anything and to give your whole heart to the Lord God, doing His will in everything, and not your own; with all your soul, that is, always have your whole mind in God, affirm your whole heart in Him and surrender all your will to His will in all circumstances of life, joyful and sad; with all our strength, that is, to love so that no opposing force could tear us away from the love of God, no circumstances of life: neither sorrow, nor oppression, nor persecution, nor height and depth, nor the sword (see: Rom. 8:35, 39); with all your thoughts, that is, always, think about God, about His goodness, long-suffering, holiness, wisdom, omnipotence, about His deeds, and in every possible way avoid vain thoughts and evil memories.”

From St. Basil the Great we read: “What are the signs of love for God? The Lord Himself taught us this, saying: If you love Me, keep My commandments(John 14, 15). The Lord says: I give you a new commandment, that you love one another; as I have loved you, so love one another(John 13:34). And the Lord Himself determined the measure of this love: So, in everything that you want people to do to you, do so to them.(Matt. 7:12).

According to the words of Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria (12th century), the Savior Himself “shows us the shortest path to virtue: since we, as people, know from ourselves what we should do to others.”

This means that if we want well-being for ourselves, we will want the same for our neighbors.

If we become angry due to the rude treatment of our neighbor, we will not say anything until the anger passes.

We are pleased when they help; We will try to help our neighbors in everything, especially in spiritual need.

It is unpleasant for us when people speak badly of us, expose our shortcomings and vices, treat us rudely and insult us - and we will not do this ourselves.

Let's not judge. Among believers, the sin of judging our neighbors is very common, and it must be added that we discuss and condemn people with pleasure. And sometimes condemnation even turns into entertainment, especially when we gather with our friends and acquaintances to “scratch our tongues.” Such a pastime is almost commonplace and ubiquitous, but no one remembers that it is sinful and destructive for the soul. When we judge someone, we forget the commandment of the Lord: Judge not lest ye be judged(Matt. 7:1). The holy fathers said about the sin of condemnation that, looking at the sins of others, we cease to notice our own.

Let us not slander or listen to condemnation and gossip from others. Slander is the work of the devil. From the lives of St. Gregory of Akraganti (VII century), St. Stephen the Confessor (IX century), from Memorable legends about the hermit Abba Nikon and others, we know that slanderers can be punished by demonization.

In the biography of St. Gregory of Neocaesarea (III century) we read. In his youth, studying at the Alexandria School, he was distinguished by his extraordinary modesty and virginal purity. He was loved and respected by both his comrades and mentors. But his good behavior was not to the heart of the libertines and envious people. They decided to disgrace him and bribed the fallen woman to slander the innocent. In front of many, she approached Saint Gregory and demanded payment for the sin he allegedly committed with her. Out of shame, he lowered his gaze and only blushed. The harlot continued to scream, demanding money. And then Saint Gregory asked his friends to pay her. They gave the money. As soon as the slanderer took them, a demon immediately attacked her. She fell to the ground, screamed terribly, gnashed her teeth, emitting foam, so that everyone was horrified. The demon tormented her until Saint Gregory prayed for her. Only then did she receive healing.

Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk (†1783) compares a slanderer with a person infected with a terrible fatal disease. “One infected with a pestilence injures those who communicate with him; the slanderer harms the one who listens to his slander. From an infected person the ulcer spreads to another, from another to a third, from a third to a fourth, and so on to all people, if they are not careful; So it is from a slanderer - one will hear slander and tell another, another - to a third, a third - to a fourth, and so everyone hears and is damaged by slander... - says St. Tikhon. – The slanderer also harms the one he slanderes: for with his tongue he wounds him as with a sword. He also harms himself: for he sins gravely. He also harms those who listen to his slander: for he gives them a reason for slander and condemnation and thus leads them to the same lawless deed in which he himself finds himself... Christian! Beware of the slanderer, just as you are careful of the pestilence of an infected person, otherwise you yourself will become infected from him and die. Beware of experiencing human sins yourself, so that you do not judge and slander your neighbor. Experience and recognize your sins and cleanse them with true repentance and faith. This is a Christian work to which you are called by Christ.”

But here is a situation from modern life: they are talking dirty about a good person in front of us, and we understand that this is slander, but at the same time we either listen silently or agree, thus participating in a terrible sin. If we are unable to resist slander, then we must ask the Lord about it: “ Deliver me from human slander(Ps. 119, 134) - not only so that people do not slander me, but so that I do not slander others!”

Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) speaks about how we need to behave towards each other and cherish a good feeling towards others: “Forgive insults to your neighbor, refrain from causing offense, from irritation, from anger, etc. Let us not obey the devil, who teaches us to hold evil in our souls against our neighbor, but in the simplicity of our hearts we will forgive our neighbor for the insults inflicted on them, also at the instigation of the devil. Let no one think evil against each other, let no one be carried away by evil suspicion towards his brother, for this is the charm of the enemy of our salvation, who is trying in every possible way to destroy the union of love and brotherhood in us and to implant demonic enmity and hostility.”

How not to sin in various life circumstances

“During their earthly life, people are given various positions,” says Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov). – All these provisions are not accidental; they, as tasks to be solved, as lessons for work, are distributed by the Providence of God, so that every person in the position in which he is placed, fulfilling the will of God, works out his salvation.”

The life circumstances in which we find ourselves, the position in society we occupy, are different for everyone. But all this is not without the will of God or God’s permission, so we will always, in any situation, try to act righteously and piously. The simple and very comforting spiritual recommendations of Metropolitan Gregory (Postnikov) will help us with this:

“When you are happy, everything in life goes according to your desire; Then thank the Lord God for everything with all your heart and be extremely careful not to remain ungrateful to Him. When taking advantage of earthly prosperity, do not become attached to it with your heart: your heart should be attached only to the Lord God. Never forget His words: Give me, son, your heart(Proverbs 23, 26)…

If any misfortune befalls you, never indulge in immoderate grief, fear, grumbling or despair: the All-Wise and All-Good Lord sends us every earthly disaster for our benefit. If you feel guilty of something, then imagine the Lord Jesus Christ on the Cross, who suffered for you incomparably more than you can suffer - who suffered completely innocently, without the slightest murmur or displeasure, and become convinced that you deserve much greater misfortune. If, when a misfortune has befallen you, you feel innocent, then thank God with all your heart that through this misfortune He wants to save you from anything disastrous for the salvation of your soul. For constant joy makes the soul frivolous, arrogant and fickle; With constant happiness, we all very easily indulge in vanity, pride, voluptuousness... Say: “You, Lord, know what is good for me, do with me according to Your will.”

If you are rich, then never think that you owe your wealth to yourself, your ingenuity and activity. Firmly remember the words of the Spirit of God that only The Lord makes poor and makes rich, humiliates and exalts(1 Samuel 2:7), and therefore do not be proud of your wealth, but be humble, consider it a gift from God and diligently thank the Lord God for it, but do not cling to wealth with your heart, so that you do not become a slave to your wealth. Keep your heart towards him in such a way that you can calmly do without him, as soon as the Lord God pleases to take him away from you...

If you are poor, then bear your poverty complacently. Carry this burden graciously until it pleases the Lord God to remove it from you—carry it, if He pleases, until death. Be always cheerful, do not grieve, do not complain, especially do not be discouraged and do not use any wrong means, contrary to the will of God, to deliver yourself from poverty. Always remember... whatever the Lord does to us, he does in order to facilitate our salvation. Remember that the Lord God will never put more burden on you than you can bear. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but when you are tempted, He will also provide relief, so that you can endure it.(1 Cor. 10:13). Remember also that He is always with you to provide His help. Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.(Matthew 28, 20)…

If, in your poverty, some other burdens oppress you, then do not lose heart here, but console yourself with holy thoughts. For example, do they hate you, despise you? Think: “What a problem! My Lord and Savior was God, but they hated Him too, they despised Him too.” Are you being squeezed or offended? Think: “What a problem! Who was oppressed and offended more than anyone else, if not the Lord Himself!” Think also: “If someone is not despised and humiliated, then how will he practice humility? If someone is not insulted, how will he learn humility? If someone is not insulted, how will he learn patience, meekness and other similar Christian virtues?”

When you are praised, be extremely careful, because then you are in a dangerous position: you can fall into pride, vanity, carelessness or other harmful seduction. To prevent this from happening to you, try to look at the praise given to you with distrust, and if they praise you in your eyes, it is best to interrupt the conversation in a decent manner and turn the speech to another subject. Firmly remember that what is worthy of praise in you is not yours, but God’s, and God gave you the disposition, ability, strength, desire and opportunity to acquire something worthy of praise and, therefore, the glory for this does not belong to you, but to God.

When you see something worthy of praise in yourself and feel a desire to tell others about it, try to destroy this desire in yourself with the idea that because of human praise you will make yourself unworthy of praise from God, because you receive a reward from people. Remember the very important words of the Lord: Woe to you when all people speak well of you!(Luke 6:26).

When you see that many greedily seek their happiness in sensual goods and pleasures, in bliss, in luxury and pass it off as wisdom; when you see that many, for their earthly happiness, use all kinds of lies and all deceit, defend hatred, vindictiveness and other passions, and consider refusal to satisfy sensual pleasures to be stupidity, then we must firmly remember in our hearts and say, as the apostles taught: “ We are Christians, we must live according to the law of Christ.” Bear each other's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ(Gal. 6:2), and the law of Christ requires that we crucify our flesh with its passions and lusts (see: Gal. 5:24), rejecting lies, saying the truth, each one to his neighbor(Eph. 4:25), but all vengeance was left to the Lord God, who said: Vengeance is mine, I will repay(Rom. 12:19).”

Once again, let us not fail to turn to the advice of the peasant Ivan Pososhkov: “If you become poor, my son, and are unable to feed yourself, then do not be discouraged, do not despair and do not touch any unrighteous deeds, do not make acquaintances with worthless people, put your hope in God.”

This is how we must try to act if we want to live like a Christian and achieve salvation.

This article talks about the general idea of ​​good Christian living. You will read about ways to grow closer to the Lord, ways to spread faith, and the morals and ethics God wants us to follow.

Steps

Follow the example of Jesus at all times. Follow the greatest commandment of Jesus (the Son of God) - love God and everyone completely, even if they all treat you wrong, whether you know them or not. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who use you and persecute you.” Jesus says in John 13:15, “I have set you an example, that as I did, so you should do.” In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.” Ephesians 5:1 says, “Therefore imitate God, as loving children.” Also many Believers are “free, pure and transformed” (Matthew 12:44) Luke Christian Doctrines. If you just go to church, you will be a weak Christian and trials will bring chaos into your life. But if you go to church and say the Prayer every night, you will be a strong Christian. Most Christians do not read the Bible every day, so if all you do is go to church, you will be a weak Christian. Here are some parables for raising a Christian: 8:17-21. Psalm 1:1-3. John 14:21-27. James 1:2-8. I Thessalonians 5:16-18. Second Timothy 1:6-7, Hebrews 8:6,10. Ephesians 6:10-18. Proverbs 4:20-23.

Admit that you have mistakes (sins) and then repent - change your attitude and pray. Remember that conversion to Christianity is not an empty act, but the beginning of a lifelong commitment. Tenacity and perseverance are fundamental qualities for realizing your potential. Don't be too hard on yourself when you fail - but admit it; encourage yourself; believe in God... move forward.

READ and DO what the Bible says. James 1:22 – “To only listen to the word is to deceive yourself. Do what it says." Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written, Man shall not be satisfied with bread alone, but with every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The Bible also says that “All Scripture is inspired by God, and is useful [for] teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness,” - 2 Timothy 3:16.

Let God change you: as a follower of Jesus you cannot change yourself, only God through his son can do that. Ezekiel 36:26-27: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you and direct you to follow my instructions and be careful to keep my laws.” Ephesians 4:24 says, “And put on the new man, created in the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” A true Christian, when converted, immediately notices an inevitable change in the perception of his daily life. He will begin to doubt his tastes in movies, music, clothes and even his choice of friends! The Bible says, “Therefore, get rid of everything unclean and every form of wickedness, and with a light spirit welcome the word planted in you, which is able to save your souls.” (James 1:21)

Please be aware that you may be persecuted for your beliefs. Don't let outside interference weaken your faith. Stand up for your beliefs to do good, but not to judge others. 2 Timothy 3:12 – “Indeed, everyone who wants to live godly with faith in Jesus Christ will suffer persecution.”

Make time for effective and meaningful prayer. Take care of people who do not pray enough for their own development, such as children of cousins, friends, enemies and relatives, etc. In Ephesians 1:16, Paul prays for the “Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation.” I recommend that you say the prayer in Ephesians 1:16-23 for yourself every day for one year, and God will open your soul and understanding.

Try to see other people's perspectives, even if you personally disagree with them. Of course, this answering prayer for the repose of your enemies, and that they will become blessed as children of God, will help both you and them.

Be patient with those who don't make you happy or even upset you. Work on forgiving those who may hurt you. You must learn to love your enemies. God loves everyone and we should do the same. Say goodbye by choosing love. If you find it difficult to love your enemies, pray to God to cultivate your understanding with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Work and pray for others to the best of your ability. Look after people in need when they ask for help. James 2:16: “If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep him warm and well fed” but does nothing to meet the needs of his body: what good is that? This is one of the things that Jesus spoke about in his teaching. Giving does not always mean providing financial assistance, it can be in the form of basic food and clothing.

Treat people kindly, as you would like to be treated. Even a simple act of kindness like holding someone's door is a kind deed that can help you feel less paranoid - because then you will feel that others should think well of you and your faith in Christ.

Strive to live a calm life. 1Thesolonians 4:11 – “And to fulfill your intentions of leading a quiet life, you must mind your own business and work with your own hands, as we have told you.” Pride can mean that you judge others falsely and is considered the mother of all sins because pride lives in each of us. The source of all sin is one’s own selfishness (greed, lust, hatred of others, murder, theft, etc.).

Share your good news openly! Remember, to live as a Christian, your actions must demonstrate to others that God is present in your life. Always know how to stand up for your beliefs, such as conservatism in good morals and be indulgent in sharing your own goods - do not be a Robin Hood or a "wealth merchant" (profit from poverty), or a spendthrift, but sow the seeds of faith in Christ among those around you, speak about grace, through faith, which always leads to good deeds, which become the RESULT of salvation, but NEVER a means of salvation.

Practice what you preach... Jesus gave us a very good example, in Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and ignore the log in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the sawdust out of your eye,” when you are always walking around with a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

1. Help people. Volunteering is a great start for a Christian who is unsure of what the Lord God requires of him. For example, you could run a kitchen for the homeless near you or visit someone living in a nursing home.

   • However, remember, you don’t need to make mistakes, knowing that someone will always forgive you... No! The Lord God knows your heart and you will only be forgiven as long as you are honest. God is always with you!
   • Remember, the center of your faith should be love, not obligation, consider these factors, but live like Jesus - easier said than done, but as long as you strive to be like him, you are on the right path. God will always be there to help you step by step.
   • Love other people and remember that the Christian life is more than following rules, it is about showing love to people through your love for God.
   • When you stand trial, you will have only one lawyer and one judge: God. And there is another mediator between God and people - the human messiah Jesus Christ.
   • If you are not a Christian but want to become one, accept Jesus into your heart, then find a local church and study the gospel. Follow it; there is no middle ground between worldliness and Christianity. You either follow Jesus or against him. As Christ said, you cannot wear the world's hat and God's hat at the same time. You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and drink from the cup of demons at the same time.
   • Ask people for help. Each of us learns something new every day.
   • Forgive yourself and others.
   • Take one step at a time, moving forward and not looking back.
   • Never lose heart. Always look forward, not behind. Remember that God loves you and can forgive anything. So if you have made a mistake, don't think that God doesn't love you anymore. Just remember that God loves you, and there are no limits or boundaries to his love!
   • Attend church and weekly Christian church/school. It will help you learn more about the Christian life and teach you how to live out your faith.
   • All you have to do is believe God and Jesus.
   • Remember that the Christian life is a lifelong journey “to benefit others in the name of Christ. Do not expect to be freed from sin and error at the same time without condemnation from others. Maintaining morals and good habits that glorify God in your body and in your daily life - not to brag, but to the glory of God!
   • Trust him with all your heart and you will see miracles happen.

   Warnings

   • Remember that God loves everyone and we should do the same.
   • Forgive and Don't Forgive Again - While you cannot change events in the past, you can change your views and attitude towards the past (pray with gratitude and forgive sincerely). God forgives every sin when we sincerely repent: be like God!
   • Prayer has power; Don't underestimate her.
   • Peter reminds us to share hope with “awe and respect.” There is no need to be rude or forcefully impose faith.
   • Don't bury your talents or hide your benefits from others - share as much as possible, give less than yourself and lead by example by helping those less fortunate instead of judging them by calling them lazy or sinners because of their unluckiness and poverty. Generally, poverty is not a punishment from God, for example, extreme drought or terrible storms can bring suffering, disease and famine, and they happen to all states or nations, even good and wise ones.
   • Never lose faith in God. (There are different times in life, and we are not perfect and are not called to be)
   • Every aspect of the Christian life stated in Scripture must be observed. When you are confused about how to live the Christian life, just ask yourself one question: “What would Jesus want me to do?” If you are still in doubt, pray to God for help, then turn to the Scriptures. “If anyone needs wisdom to know what you should do, you must ask God and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and is not angry with anyone.” (James 1:5)
   • You can know a Christian by the fruits of his deeds, but this is a positive statement. Remember that only God can save and has already saved us. There is one judge; love others as you love yourself.
   • Never forget what the term "Christian" means... it means "like Christ." 2 Corinthians 3:18. But we Christians are faceless, we can be mirrors, brightly reflecting the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him.
   • Jesus said, “Whatever you do for the rest of my children, you do for me! Your good or bad deeds are for me.” This also means that if you are one of God's servants, you suffer ridicule and violence because you insist on truth, honesty, love for your enemies and other good works, etc., by this they hate Him and do this evil to God, and not only for you...
   • There are some parts of the Bible about the Israelite lineage, history, or legal system in the Old Testament that seem archaic (and uninteresting). The books of the Old Testament, like Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Samuel and several others, are especially interesting books because they contain prophecies (predictions of the future) and stories of miracles. All books of the New Testament are easy to read.
   • Remember that some ill health conditions or illnesses, such as certain cancers, diabetes, drunkenness, drug use, extreme obesity, and other physical and emotional suffering, are often associated with personal choices that Jesus stated were beneficial to health, good disposition and character.
   • You can change a lot through prayer, but you should not abuse it. God answers all prayers and He will say “No” to any unfair or hurtful prayer. Pray and His will will touch you, because He wants the best for all of us. He will change everything bad in our life into good if we believe in Him.

The discussion about the attitude towards large families, which began around the article by Archpriest Pavel Velikanov, revealed a much more serious problem, says Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko.

Resist the onslaught of the zeitgeist

Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko
Several years ago I was in Kronstadt. Across the street, opposite the house in which the holy righteous John of Kronstadt lived, stood the now demolished St. Andrew's Cathedral. On the same side of the street, to the left, is the building of the gymnasium in which John of Kronstadt taught the Law of God. There is a memorial plaque on the wall of the gymnasium; I thought that it reflected that once upon a time the Kronstadt shepherd himself taught children there. But I was mistaken - the inscription on the board says that the outstanding Soviet physicist, Nobel Prize winner, Academician Pyotr Leonidovich Kapitsa, studied in this gymnasium since 1907.
P.L. Kapitsa is a scientist who made an outstanding contribution to world science, one of the founders of low temperature physics and the physics of strong magnetic fields. He is one of those who is the pride of Russian science.
The first years of his life, Pyotr Leonidovich lived in Kronstadt, walked along the same street with Father John and probably met him, could not help but meet him, they probably took him to St. Andrew’s Cathedral. Father John may not have taught him the Law of God; he only had a year or two to live, but the gymnasium was filled with his spirit, and the older schoolchildren studied with Father John. Academician P.L. Kapitsa was undoubtedly a moral man, but I was unable to find evidence that he was a believer. Most likely, like many other scientists of that era, he was not a believer.

Saint John of Kronstadt
As a child, P. L. Kapitsa could see and hear Father John; it would seem that childhood impressions were very strong, but, nevertheless, the gigantic scale of John of Kronstadt was not enough to withstand the onslaught of the spirit of the times, pushing people away from the Church.
There lived a great holy man, a miracle worker, but how many of his contemporaries did not see his holiness and did not accept his inspired words. How much the evil spirit of this age has corrupted and is corrupting human souls, how much a society that has lost faith, has lost Christ - culture, newspapers, social circles, parents, friends of parents, their children - has a strong influence on its members.
It seems that at the beginning of the 20th century everything was aimed at turning the people, including its best representatives, against the Church.

There must be harmony in the family

Something similar is happening now. It seems that the evil spirit is once again triumphant. This is also reflected in the negative attitude towards large families. Who says that having many children “breeds poverty”, who says that it is fashionable to have many children. I don’t know what such statements are based on; I know that, according to the 2010 population census, in our country there are only 3% of large families (more than 4 children).
Can 3% of families have any negative impact on our country? But they can do something positive. Let me remind you that the great scientist Dmitry Ivanovich Mendeleev and the famous weapons designer Mikhail Timofeevich Kalashnikov were the 17th children in their families, the famous aircraft designer Sergei Vladimirovich Ilyushin was the 12th. Well, 97% can, with their disdainful attitude, exert a strong influence on their members so that they do not try to create large families.
There is a problem; difficulties can exist in any family. Why do they reduce everything only to a large family? Why is the topic of a large family being discussed?
We need to talk about raising children in general and about the mistakes that parents make when raising children. What difference does it make whether there are many or few? Father Pavel quite rightly says that there should be harmony in the family, based on love. What does this have to do with a large number of children? We just see how often parents cannot cope with even one child. The great teacher Makarenko said that only brilliant parents can raise one child to be a moral person. Somewhere the problems arise are general, and somewhere they are strictly individual. And we are talking about our internal state: either we successfully overcome many, as a rule, typical temptations, or we do not overcome them.

Alexander's father's family

A healthy soul seeks exploits, because the Lord calls us to exploits

When a priest says what is possible and what is not, he is not speaking on his own – this is what we are commanded by the blessed memory of the Church. A modern parishioner wants, on the one hand, to take communion and receive communion regularly, and on the other hand, he really wants to live comfortably, and therefore expects certain indulgences. But the Church must hold the bar high. If we lower it, then where is the limit, having reached which, it is necessary to stop? And, in fact, the level was not set by us, but by the Lord God himself, the Holy Scriptures and Tradition.
There is an episode in the Gospel in which a young man who lives a pious life turns to the Savior, and the Savior tells him: “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give it to the poor; and you will have treasure in heaven; and come and follow Me” (Matthew 19:21). And the young man went away from Him saddened, because he was attached to his property.
Communion is a gift from God. When we stand in church and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, we must at least somehow resemble our great ancestors, at least somehow meet the requirements that the Lord places on man.
And if you don’t want to follow these requirements, well then step away. That young man from the Gospel walked away, he was honest. But we want both, since we live not in the 1st century, but in the 21st century. In ancient times, people were whole, even in their sin they were whole, but here we are – divided, relaxed, we want to act as gentle calves suckling two queens. But the Church says that this will not work, this is wrong, God does not like this.
People must realize that if they do not want to have children and cannot abstain, then they need some kind of special penitential discipline, and frequent communion is neither possible nor beneficial for them. What kind of penitential discipline should be is very difficult to say, this must be decided on an individual basis, that is, a confessor, and this issue must be discussed with him.
If a Christian wants to begin the Mysteries of Christ, it is necessary to observe repentant discipline, some kind of abstinence, and there must be a struggle with oneself. If it does not exist at all, and will not exist, then we will lose the level that the Holy Orthodox Church preserves, and this will, in fact, lead to the brink of disaster. Then the general departure of people, especially young people, from the Church will begin, because, as the saints say, the soul of every person by nature is a Christian, and a healthy soul seeks exploits, because the Lord calls us to exploits. And if there is no achievement, and no effort is needed, then the Church is not needed. For what?
If with God, if you truly, in a Christian way, bear the cross for the sake of Christ and carry it with Him, because no one person can do it alone, then such cross-bearing brings light and joy to the soul. And if you follow the path of least resistance, you don’t want to fight with yourself and overcome your weaknesses, which is very difficult, then what do the Church and Christ have to do with it?

The worse it is for a person, the better it is for the evil one

Father Pavel is absolutely right when he speaks about love - there should be warm, sincere, unselfish, selfless love in the family. If it is not there, then everything becomes impossible. Both church and non-church families are falling apart - this is the terrible influence of the spirit of this age. If we indulge him, it will only get worse, then he will prevail. The worse it is for a person, the better it is for the evil one. You can’t help but fight with him, he goes to the end. It is very difficult to resist him, he is a subtle psychologist with fantastic experience, fantastically powerful. And fighting it alone is simply ridiculous. But before God he is powerless. If a person is with God, then before a person strengthened by the grace of God, he turns out to be powerless.
In the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord utters amazing words: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Saint Nicholas of Serbia commented on these words of the Savior in a way that was unexpected for us: “It’s amazing why the Savior said – meek. Not warlike, not aggressive, not active, not numerous, but meek, and they will inherit the earth. Just look at the Russian people. Look how huge his land is! Because he is meek." This was said about 70 years ago. Now let's take a look at ourselves. Are we meek or what?
With our pseudo-Christianity, which is of a very low level, because it is pseudo, we are trying to judge something, and nothing good will come of it.
The conversation boils down to: let me do what I want. I don’t want to have many children - let’s give me an answer so that I can live calmly, without stress, but the way I want.
Recently I heard confirmation of the words of St. Nicholas. The first Metropolitan of Moscow Peter moved the see from Vladimir to Moscow. For some reason, he chose Moscow, because he had several options. Why? Because when he visited Moscow for the first time, he was struck by the meekness of Moscow residents. Now let's take a magnifying glass and go look for meek people in Moscow.
Living as a Christian is very difficult, much more difficult than it seems, I don’t understand the thesis “Any virtue that has become forced runs the risk of turning from a virtue into a real disaster,” this is some kind of misunderstanding. What does virtue mean that has become forced? Christianity is a religion of freedom. If you paint yourself into a corner, then you are making the wrong choice. We can sympathize with you, we can figure out how you ended up in the corner, and what are you doing there? What kind of virtue is it if it forces you? Do you rely on your own strength, are you of little faith, don’t pray, don’t repent? This means that somewhere you mixed up something, lost your way, which means, being spiritually blind, you are going in the wrong direction.
I'm afraid we're missing something very important. Living as a Christian is very difficult, much more difficult than it seems. And the tasks before us are more difficult than we think. What does it seem like? One-two - done. But this is the same as approaching the piano with the intention of playing as inspired and virtuoso as Svyatoslav Richter.
Just recently we were far away in the Soviet Union, and now we find ourselves in the Church. So this is a colossal path - from a non-church life to a spiritualized life, and we are all, in the overwhelming majority, only at the very, very beginning of the path. And even then, many even go astray from this initial path, going somewhere in the wrong direction. It turns out that we are a society that wanders in the dark, and everyone believes that since he has read a few books and gone to church, then he already knows something and lives a spiritual life. No, everything turns out to be much more complicated. Much more difficult.
You can speak the right words, and use the name of God appropriately, and talk about love appropriately, but you cannot solve the problem, because it lies elsewhere. If we take some problem, even a painful one, even an acute one, but if we take it out of context and try to solve it on its own, I’m afraid we’re driving ourselves into a corner, because it can’t be solved that way. If we focus our efforts on finding the main problem, the key point - how to be a Christian in the modern world, how to live according to the will of God, how we can build a Christian life together - then, probably, we will come to the solution of all other, very difficult problems.