Why do people cheat on each other? Can this be avoided? Why do people cheat Do all couples cheat on each other

Faktrum offers the reader a selection interesting facts about change and about the reasons that encourage people to change.

Differences in the “hormone of happiness” affect the likelihood of infidelity

The neurotransmitter dopamine enters our bloodstream when we do something pleasurable, like eating or making love. There are two different types of dopamine, and the body only produces one of them. Scientists have found that people with a longer dopamine effect have a higher percentage of cheating (about 50%). These people are also more risk averse and addictive.

Most mammals are polygamous

Only 3% of mammals are monogamous - and in most cases, humans are included in this group. Remarkably, most other primate species, our genetic relatives, do not stay with a partner for life, as we do.

Social networks increase the number of changes

Growing popularity social networks goes hand in hand with the rise of marital infidelity. Why? Thanks to sites like Facebook or Instagram, people can reunite with former lovers, increasing cheating and divorce rates.

The level of the “hugging hormone” affects cheating

Although the main role of the hormone vasopressin is to keep water in the body and the condition of our blood vessels, this cuddling hormone helps us build couples. People with more low level vasopressin are more prone to cheating and have less trust in a partner.

Most spouses will cheat sooner or later

About 50% of married women and 60% married men sooner or later they will start an affair on the side. These figures are double what they were 10 years ago.

The lower your vote, the more likely your partner thinks you are a cheater

The lower the voice of a man, the more likely the woman will consider him a traitor. On the other hand, men are more likely to consider women with a high timbre of voice to be traitors. This is due to the fact that the timbre of the voice depends on the level of testosterone and estrogen. However, women often find deep-voiced men more attractive, albeit for short-term relationships.

Cheating doesn't mean you're unhappy in your marriage

Although it is contrary to common sense, deceivers often consider their marriage to be quite happy. About 56% of cheating men and 34% of women said they were "happy" or "very happy" in their marriage.

Women cheat more during ovulation

From the point of view of biology, this fact fits perfectly into the idea of ​​the survival of the species. During ovulation, when a woman is fertile, she is more attracted to other men than her partner. The exception is women whose partner is already incredibly sexually attractive.

Most scammers are busy looking for a new partner during work hours.

According to data from a dating site, 68% of scammers are looking for a mistress while at work. It is noteworthy that they do this on average 1.17 hours daily, that is, some people spend more than an hour of working time looking for a secret partner.

Men and women invest in the concept of "treason" different meanings

Most men are worse at physical infidelity, and most women are worse at emotional. Women are more likely to consider various antics to be cheating: for example, a passionate kiss seems like a betrayal to 90% of women and 75% of men, and flirting via SMS 68% of women and 51% of men.

Faking an orgasm can lead to infidelity

Both men and women who fake orgasm are more likely to cheat on their partners. (Curiously, no link between orgasmic frequency and infidelity has been found.) If in numbers, women fake an orgasm 20% of the time, and men 5%. Notably, men are more likely to stay with a woman who has an orgasm each time.

Cheating causes 65% of divorces

Most marriages break up after infidelity. Only 35% of couples are able to survive this and stay together.

Deceit for the protection of offspring

To protect their young, female chimpanzees often have multiple mates. In this case, no male can be sure whether he is the father of the cub, and will not try to kill him.

Cheating people have increased sexual activity in marriage

Due to the release of hormones into the blood, deceivers often become more sexually active in relation to their spouse.

Who changes more

Women under 25 cheat more often than older women. The cause of infidelity may be dissatisfaction with sexual life.

Blondes really are more fun

The words from the song "blondes are more fun" seem to be true. A study conducted on a dating site found that 42% of cheaters were blondes. The remaining hair colors of the traitors were distributed as follows: 23% red, 20% brown-haired and 11% black-haired. For men, the proportion is completely different - 40% of brown-haired, 23% of black-haired, 20% of blondes and 5% of redheads change.

Most intrigues occur with colleagues

85% of cheating starts at the workplace. This is not surprising - many hours spent working closely together on a project lead to the formation of strong bonds, and sometimes love affection.

Cheats love to shop

In order to look attractive to their lovers, a third of cheating women spend more money while shopping. Sometimes they even have a secret credit card.

Rock music lovers are more prone to cheating

Our musical tastes are also intertwined with our propensity to cheat. In the UK, 42% of cheaters named rock and roll as their favorite genre. The least likely to cheat were listeners of rap (2%), gospel genre (3%), rhythm and blues (5%) and classical music (7%). It is curious that in Ireland, traitors prefer country style.

Big penis is not so good

Oddly enough, men with large penis are cheated on more often by their wives. According to a study conducted in Kenya, for every additional inch, the likelihood of infidelity increased by 150%. Probably the pain that interferes with pleasure is to blame.

Treason often takes us by surprise. We live in the turmoil of days behind a mountain of deeds and thoughts, we prefer not to think about what should not happen. We so desperately believe that we will not fall into this sad statistic that sometimes we miss the time when something else can be prevented. We are not waiting for her. She breaks into our lives herself and sweeps away everything that was so dear to us: love, trust, mutual understanding. And we ourselves find ourselves standing on the edge of the abyss, unable to understand how it happened? Why do people change?

The betrayal of a wife or the betrayal of a husband hurts us especially. If you find out about treason - what to do? ..

Each of us guesses how to recognize treason. But not everyone understands what the psychology of betrayal depends on.

It is worth cheating to happen once, and it leaves an imprint for the rest of your life. Disappointment and resentment do their job and even years later they do not allow you to breathe easy, trust and open up to new relationships, or simply forgive your loved one. The betrayal of a loved one is one of the most terrible events in the life of anyone ... Is it possible to forgive betrayal?

Time will dull this pain a little, but the fear of going through this again remains with us, sometimes turning into an omnipresent shadow of doubts and suspicions, which, like a worm, sharpen our relationship from the inside. How to define change?

How to break the vicious circle? Where can I find the reasons for cheating? Why did this happen and who is to blame?

Where to find the strength to survive the betrayal of her husband? And how to live after the betrayal of her husband further? And most importantly - how to maintain peace of mind, stop suffering, torment yourself and your spouse, get rid of the fear of relapse, live fully and enjoy life? What are the signs of a cheating husband?

We will try to answer these questions.

Who are you really

First of all, you need to understand Why is cheating hurting you so much? After all, there are a lot of people who turn a blind eye to the betrayal of a partner, they choose not to know. The so-called “swinging” is also becoming popular, when spouses voluntarily enter into sexual contact with other couples. There are also husbands who walk right and left, proud that their wife is aware of what is happening and is not against it. How to figure it all out?

Sexuality urethral vector

A completely different sexuality in people with the urethral vector, who are naturally polygamous. The concepts of marriage and fidelity simply do not exist for them, they are outside this framework. That is, they, of course, can marry, but you should not expect swan fidelity from them.

Polygamy is a complex concept that does not imply an uncountable number of partners. Urethral polygamy is easily confused with skin inconstancy, but the reasons and motives leading to adultery are completely different for such people.

The urethral vector has the highest libido. If we draw a rough analogy with the animal world, then the owner of the urethral vector is a "sire bull", the most temperamental and always ready for action. These qualities in the urethral vector are not accidental and are determined by its specific role, natural destination. The urethral is the leader of the pack, responsible for the continuation of the family, which is why he has a natural polygamy. However, it is a big mistake to believe that polygamy will cause a constant change of partners. The urethral man has the highest libido. If a suitable partner appears, it is able to bind him to the object of passion, and this passion will be maintained for three years at the level of attraction. During these three years, the couple has a chance to build additional connections at the level of emotional, intellectual, spiritual closeness (depending on the upper vectors). If this does not happen, urethral polygamy comes into force again.

The attitude of the urethral man to treason is a special topic. Such people are extremely attractive to members of the opposite sex, their pheromones are so strong that they can not only attract, but also cause a certain dependence; they follow such people, strive for them, and do not leave them. The urethra is hot, passionate and impetuous, the only possible reaction that can be expected from them in case of betrayal is an instant bright outburst of anger ... which passes as quickly as it appears, the emotional memory will last no more than two or three days.

Cheating a guy for a urethral woman is a violation of rank, betrayal and can cause pain, a feeling of humiliation. The situation of betrayal arises only in a pair with a skin man, who, by nature, gradually begins to feel its dominant as a counterbalance to his own significance, as his inferiority. It is very difficult for a urethral woman to break such a relationship. But if she decides to do this, then it happens in an instant and already irrevocably. And it remains only to wait out the first days of the acute feeling of loss in order to recover and begin to live on.

Muscular vector - everything should be "human"

The muscle vector is the fundamental basis of humanity. These are the closest people to nature, those whose noble simplicity sometimes even touches the sophisticated urban audience. Most often these are villagers, powerful and hardy, people of hard physical labor. Their distinctive feature is the perception of their own "I". They feel like a part of the team, and not a separate unit, the concept of "I" does not exist for them, they feel like "WE". They have visual and effective thinking, they strictly follow the laws and rules that are accepted in the society in which they live. They act like everyone else, as expected, do not have their own opinion. They live in marriage all their lives, go about their own business, in which they prefer monotony and predictability. Monotony in everything is the greatest comfort for a person with a Muscular vector.

It is obvious that for them there is not even a question of treason. Cheating bride, future or real wife- they don't need it. Why leave such a comfortable state, especially if it is not accepted in society. Men-muscles are generally suspicious of sex, for them everything should be "human". If with a wife, then yes, and so - no. This suspicion has its root causes, and for now we will not delve into this topic.

The reaction of a muscular man to betrayal will always depend on who is next to him at that moment, what advice he will receive, because he will always come for him to a close friend.

The anal vector has the hardest time to endure treason

Finally, we got to those who endure betrayal the hardest, for whom betrayal is pain and resentment for life. To those who can not accept and let go.

We are talking about those people for whom the words "loyalty" and "loyalty" are not just words, but a system of values. For such people, family, home, children, marriage are not only desirable attributes for a full life, but something without which existence does not make sense.

For them, the betrayal of a woman is a collapse. What if it's cheating with a friend?

The whole world collapses in one moment. It is impossible to describe what the representative of the Anal Vector feels in the event of treason - this is unbearable suffering, this is deaf heart and mental pain, this is the earth gone from under his feet. This is a lump in the throat that does not allow breathing, and the mind refuses to believe. "No, it's not with me, it can't be!" The heart will now break into pieces and freeze with the mute question “For what ?!”

Betrayal of a loved one - adultery - like a knife in the back, like a blow to the face. But what is worst of all is lies, pretense and hypocrisy. How can you bear it, how can you live with it? It seems that even killing is not enough for such a thing, let alone forgive ... But how to forgive? How to forget? Can such wounds heal? How to continue to live with this?!

Pain, despair and resentment, fear and misunderstanding rage in a torn soul. And this unthinkable cocktail makes you want to howl and climb on the wall, but first smear this villain (or villain) on it. But you shouldn't mess around, right?

Why is this happening, why are people with the Anal vector so hard to endure betrayal?

They are monogamous by nature. To understand why, let's again take a little digression into history, where muscle warriors-miners and skin hunters-alimentators, under the leadership of a urethral leader, have already set off to hunt for a mammoth. The men are gone, and the safety of the women and children who remained in the cave is in jeopardy - enemies and wild animals are just waiting in the wings! But nature is wise and, in order to prevent this, created special men, those with the Anal vector, who remained in the cave and took care of women and children. They are born "cave-eaters", and even today there can be nothing better than their own home for them.

“So what does monogamy have to do with it?” you ask. Everything is simple. Such men were left alone with many women and, not even an hour, could take advantage of this. Then the gene pool of men who went to war and hunting would have gone into oblivion. Thus, the natural mechanism made sure that men with the anal vector were monogamous, faithful to only one woman. That's who will not change, will not betray! This is who will remain faithful for life, even in our time, full of temptations.

When I myself am faithful, I demand the same from others! I do not understand that they may not have this innate value, innate monogamous sexuality, that they are not able to understand what pain the betrayal of my beloved causes me.

If we have clarified the causes and consequences of betrayal, the question remains, what to do next, what to do with the stumbled soul mate? If you forgive, then how to behave later, what to take into account and what lessons to learn? Perhaps you will realize that you are not able to forgive betrayal - and parting will be the only possible solution. Then there are new questions about how to choose a partner that is right for you, because we do not want to constantly step on the same rake.

"Systemic Vector Psychology" has data on which vectors are most suitable for each other, cause attraction, and also reveals such an important side of relationships as sexual preferences, desires and fantasies in all vectors and mixtures.

If you apply this knowledge in practice, the probability of treason will tend to zero. And, having ceased to think how to convict of treason, we will find out its cause. It is not entirely correct to determine innate psychotypes from short descriptions; this often leads to erroneous conclusions. At Yuri Burlan's training, you can quickly learn to distinguish any person at a glance, while absolutely understanding who he is and what he is capable of. To know more about him and his sexuality than he knows about himself.

Now you have a choice. The decision to know it or not, as always, is yours.

Proofreader: Galina Rzhannikova

The topic of adultery is devoted to many films and books. From bored women to idealistic men, these stories are as endless as life itself. What makes people cheat? Our biological nature is partly to blame, but modern technology also plays an important role.

Differences in the “hormone of happiness” affect the likelihood of infidelity

The neurotransmitter dopamine enters our bloodstream when we do something pleasurable, like eating or making love. There are two different types of dopamine, and the body only produces one of them. Scientists have found that people with a longer dopamine effect have a higher percentage of cheating (about 50%). These people are also more risk averse and addictive.

Most mammals are polygamous

Only 3% of mammals are monogamous - and in most cases, humans are included in this group. Remarkably, most other primate species, our genetic relatives, do not stay with a partner for life, as we do.

Social networks increase the number of changes

The rise in popularity of social media goes hand in hand with the rise in adultery. Why? Thanks to sites like Facebook or Instagram, people can reunite with former lovers, increasing cheating and divorce rates.

The level of the “hugging hormone” affects cheating

Although the main role of the hormone vasopressin is to keep water in the body and the condition of our blood vessels, this cuddling hormone helps us build couples. People with lower levels of vasopressin are more likely to cheat and have less trust in a partner.

Most spouses will cheat sooner or later

About 50% of married women and 60% of married men will sooner or later start an affair on the side. These figures are double what they were 10 years ago.

The lower your vote, the more likely your partner thinks you are a cheater

The lower the voice of a man, the more likely the woman will consider him a traitor. On the other hand, men are more likely to consider women with a high timbre of voice to be traitors. This is due to the fact that the timbre of the voice depends on the level of testosterone and estrogen. However, women often find deep-voiced men more attractive, albeit for short-term relationships.

Cheating doesn't mean you're unhappy in your marriage

Although it is contrary to common sense, deceivers often consider their marriage to be quite happy. About 56% of cheating men and 34% of women said they were "happy" or "very happy" in their marriage.

Women cheat more during ovulation

From the point of view of biology, this fact fits perfectly into the idea of ​​the survival of the species. During ovulation, when a woman is fertile, she is more attracted to other men than her partner. The exception is women whose partner is already incredibly sexually attractive.

Most scammers are busy looking for a new partner during work hours.

According to data from a dating site, 68% of scammers are looking for a mistress while at work. It is noteworthy that they do this on average 1.17 hours daily, that is, some people spend more than an hour of working time looking for a secret partner.

Men and women invest in the concept of "treason" different meanings

Most men are worse at physical infidelity, and most women are worse at emotional. Women are more likely to consider various antics to be cheating: for example, a passionate kiss seems like a betrayal to 90% of women and 75% of men, and flirting via SMS 68% of women and 51% of men.

Faking an orgasm can lead to infidelity

Both men and women who fake orgasm are more likely to cheat on their partners. (Curiously, no link between orgasmic frequency and infidelity has been found.) If in numbers, women fake an orgasm 20% of the time, and men 5%. Notably, men are more likely to stay with a woman who has an orgasm each time.

Cheating causes 65% of divorces

Most marriages break up after infidelity. Only 35% of couples are able to survive this and stay together.

Deceit for the protection of offspring

To protect their young, female chimpanzees often have multiple mates. In this case, no male can be sure whether he is the father of the cub, and will not try to kill him.

Cheating people have increased sexual activity in marriage

Due to the release of hormones into the blood, deceivers often become more sexually active in relation to their spouse.

Who changes more

Women under 25 cheat more often than older women. The cause of infidelity may be dissatisfaction with sexual life.

Blondes really are more fun

The words from the song "blondes are more fun" seem to be true. A study conducted on a dating site found that 42% of cheaters were blondes. The remaining hair colors of the traitors were distributed as follows: 23% red, 20% brown-haired and 11% black-haired. For men, the proportion is completely different - 40% of brown-haired, 23% of black-haired, 20% of blondes and 5% of redheads change.

Most intrigues occur with colleagues

85% of cheating starts at the workplace. This is not surprising - many hours spent working closely together on a project lead to the formation of strong bonds, and sometimes love affection.

Cheats love to shop

In order to look attractive to their lovers, a third of cheating women spend more money while shopping. Sometimes they even have a secret credit card.

Rock music lovers are more prone to cheating

Our musical tastes are also intertwined with our propensity to cheat. In the UK, 42% of cheaters named rock and roll as their favorite genre. The least likely to cheat were listeners of rap (2%), gospel genre (3%), rhythm and blues (5%) and classical music (7%). It is curious that in Ireland, traitors prefer country style.

Big penis is not so good

Oddly enough, men with large penis are cheated on more often by their wives. According to a study conducted in Kenya, for every additional inch, the likelihood of infidelity increased by 150%. Probably the pain that interferes with pleasure is to blame.