Interesting scenes on the school theme. Funny scenes for high school students about school. Scene "Emergency class meeting"

FUNNY SCENES FROM SCHOOL LIFE

Offered to your attention humorous scenes they will not require their performers to memorize large texts (playing the role of a teacher can even use a cheat sheet enclosed in a class magazine), they will not need special costumes for them. Rehearsals will take a minimum of time. At the same time, the theme of all the scenes is very close to the guys. It will be useful for them to look at themselves from the outside, to laugh at their mistakes.

Scene "Our cases"

(on L. To Aminsky)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher:Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.

Studentgoes to the blackboard and prepares to write.

Teacher (dictating): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then he promised to improve.”

Studentwrites from dictation on the board.

Teacher:Perfectly! Underline all the nouns in your story.

Studentemphasizes the words: “dad”, “mother”, “Vova”, “behavior”, “Vova”, “promise”.

Teacher:Ready? Decide what case these nouns are in. Understood?

Student: Yes!

Teacher: Get started!

Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. So, the case is genitive.

Scolded whom, what? Vova. "Vova" is a name. So the case is nominative.

Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.

Vova was silent guiltily. So, here “Vova” has an accusative case.

Well, the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!

That's all!

Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest to give yourself?

Student: What? Of course, five!

Teacher:So five? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?

Student: In the prepositional!

Teacher:In a prepositional? Why?

Student : Well, I suggested it myself!

Scene "Correct answer"

(And. B utman)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?

Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?

Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.

Student: And between whom?

Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.

Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.

Teacher: Why is this?

Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.

Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?

Student: No, the plum should not.

Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?

Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.

Teacher: Why four?

Student: Because I don't like plums.

TeacherA: Wrong again.

Student: How much is correct?

Teacher: And now I'll put the correct answer in your diary!

Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?

Petrov: And what?

Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not study anything. I don't know exactly what to put in the statement.

Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.

Teacher: What are you? What?

Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics is wrong and ... proved it!

Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?

Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was mistaken and this ... Archimedes!

Teacher: Archimedes?

Petrov: And he, too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.

Teacher: What else?

Petrov(solemnly): That's not true! I proved that three equals seven!

Teacher: Like this?

Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?

Teacher: Exactly.

Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!

Teacher: Yes.

Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!

Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, survived.

Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!

Teacher: Understandably. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?

Petrov: Exactly!

Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?

Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.

Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?

Petrov: Right!

Teacher: That's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!

Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?

Teacher: And don't be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both parts of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. So did you do it?

Petrov: Let us suppose.

Teacher: So I put "2", it doesn't matter. BUT?

Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.

Teacher: Perhaps better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to five!

Guys, help Petrov .

Scene "Folder under the arm"

(And. With emerenko)

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took a folder by mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.

Andrei: Ha-ha-ha! Indeed, it's funny.

Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't started talking yet.

Andrei(laughing): Folder ... under the arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder under the arm and will not fit, he's not a cat!

Vovka: Why "my folder"? Folder - daddy. You forgot how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?

Andrei: (winking and pounding his forehead): Oh, I guessed! Grandfather - under the arm! He speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great you came up with it - funny and with a riddle!

Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. You didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Yes, even dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.

Andrei (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't even laugh?

Scene "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters : teacher and class students

Teacher:Who can name five wild animals?

Student Petrov raises his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Petrov.

Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!

Kosichkin's student : These are the forests in which ... it's good to take a nap.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.

Simakov's student : Petals, stem, pot.

Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to a person?

Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?

Apprentice Petukhov: "Frog traveler"

Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.

Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev raises his hand .

Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?

Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that humans evolved from monkeys?

Teacher: Truth.

Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?

Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it entirely depends on the cat.

Teacher: Go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.

Student Meshkov (going to the blackboard) : The length of a crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.

Teacher: Think what you're saying! Is it possible?

Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?

Student KhomyakovA: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?

Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt the amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird with a straw in its beak flies?

Student Belkov raises his hand above all.

Teacher: Try, Belkov.

Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth appear last in a person?

Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put a five with a plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”

Student Klyushkin raises his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.

Student Klyushkin : Because America was discovered later!

Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"

Characters : teacher and class students

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I have no idea who you can become?

Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.

Disciple Trushkingoes to the board.

Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How much...

Disciple Trushkinheads for the door.

Teacher: Trushkin, where are you?!

Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.

Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.

Teacher: Where is he?

Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?

Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.

Teacher: You just don't know math!

Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please tell me what is three times seven?

Student of Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?

Disciple Ivanov: And mom has no free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 on your own.

Students get down to business .

Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentiev?

Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he's cheating from me, and I'm just checking whether he did it right!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.

Shcherbinin's student : This is mathematical Greek.

Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"

Characters : teacher and class students

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first will get a point higher.

Disciple Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I'll be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, word for word is similar to Ivanov's essay!

Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why is it not finished?

Student of Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!

Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?

Pupil Koshkin: I do not know. I went to bed early.

Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!

Student Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?

Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?

Student Sinichkin: None.

Teacher: Why not?

Student Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.

Apprentice Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, while "stocking" is feminine.

Teacher: Why?

Apprentice Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the sentence.

Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard .

The teacher dictates and the student writes : "Dad went to the garage."

Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.

Student Smirnov: Dad - subject, left - predicate, in the garage - ... preposition.

Teacher: Who guys can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?

Tyulkin's student raises her hand .

Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.

Tyulkin's student : There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral "three".

Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down the proposal.

Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard .

The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies nets.

The student Rubashkin writes : The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.

Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?

Student Rubashkin: And what?

Teacher: Where did you see bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Bags, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?

Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time .

Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?

Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, give me your example now.

Apprentice Petushkov: Cat dog.

Teacher: And what about the "cat - dog"?

Apprentice Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?

Student of Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at recess!

Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?

Student of Sidorov: My older brother got sick.

Teacher: What about you?

Student of Sidorov: And I rode his bike!

Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!

Student of Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.

Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!

Funny scenes about school have always been, are and, of course, will be popular, they look like they display the brightest possible events of wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny scenes where the brightest school events are shown.

Scene "wonderful drug"

The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. The props require a desk, two chairs and a teacher's table with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys are dressed in school uniforms, the teacher first comes out in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.

Sasha, did you do your homework? - Petya asks a neighbor on the desk.

- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! Sasha answers.

- I did the same thing, I really want to sleep! Petya answered, yawning loudly. By the way, bet I get an A today?

What is it like? Sasha is outraged. “You haven’t prepared anything at all, just like me!”

- It's simple! Petya replied with a smile. - I read on the Internet that if you mix fizz, yellow soda, green soda, crow's feather, cat's whisker, tomato, green tea and a piece of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, drinking which you can manipulate people. Here I’ll drink, and I’ll tell Marya Ivanovna to bet five, and she will bet! Would you like to try my potion?

— Ha-ha! Sasha laughed. - It's all nonsense!

- Well, if you don’t want to get a five, don’t drink! Petya muttered.

- All right, let's drink your dubious broth, suddenly something will work out! Sasha agreed.

Petya drinks from the bottle with the “drug”, hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.

- Ugh, what an abomination! Sasha was outraged.

Drink, drink! Fives don't come easy! his roommate grinned.

After drinking the broth, the schoolchildren, who did not sleep until the morning, lay down on their desks and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna near the table in a long black cape with a staff.

— Maria Ivanovna! Petya gasped. And what is this strange outfit you have?

- Why is it strange? Marya Ivanovna was surprised. “The most common outfit for a dark lord, very suitable for a soul absorption ceremony.

"What did you give me, fool?" – quietly and indignantly asked Alexander.

- Probably, this is a side effect ... - Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.

“Today I decided to absorb your souls. - Smiling, said the teacher. “I haven’t taken souls from lazy people for a long time!”

“I saw something like this in a computer game!” Petya whispered. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!”

I also play this game! Sasha supported. - In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and pronounce the magic word "arakunada".

“So, let’s do this while our souls are still with us!” exclaimed Peter.

The boys wave their hands and shout the word "arakunada".

“It won’t save you, dears, because my staff works from a distance!” the teacher shouted and waved her staff.

The boys fall on the desk and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna already without a mantle and staff.

- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and mantle fell, let's do it again! Petya announced happily.

The boys shout the word "arakunada" and continue to wave their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.

- What does this mean? she asks indignantly. “Is that how you tell me about sodium?”

"Shut up, dark lord!" Sasha screamed. You won't get our souls!

- Yes, I do not need your souls, but your homework! Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What kind of concert, boys? I go - they are sleeping. I woke up - strange words are shouted out and their hands are waving. Are you OK?

"Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna..." Sasha stuttered.

“So it turns out we dreamed it all?” asked his roommate. Listen, maybe at least the potion did work, let's try to get her to give us a "five"?

- Yah you! - Alexander said offendedly and smiled.

Scene "strange first-grader"

Main characters: a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. From the props, only felt-tip pens are required.

The teacher walks down the corridor and sees how high school students laugh loudly at a small first grader.

- What's the matter? the teacher was outraged. - Why do you offend someone who is younger than you?

And we don't hate it! one of the crowd replied. Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three felt-tip pens, or one, and he takes only one, saying that it’s better this way! If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself!

A high school student takes three felt-tip pens in one hand, and holds only one in the other.

- What are you going to take? – laughing, he asks the boy. - One marker or several.

"I'd rather take one from you." - the boy answers quietly, takes a felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.

- You see! – the high school student convinces the teacher.

The teacher takes a little student aside.

- Boy, why don't you take three felt-tip pens at once? the teacher asks quietly.

“If I take three felt-tip pens at once, they will think that I am smart, and the game will end. - The boy answers. So, I'd rather be stupid, but with twenty felt-tip pens! - takes out twenty won felt-tip pens from the briefcase.

Scene "school romance"

Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. As props you need a sheet of paper and a pen.

Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.

— Nina Semyonovna! Kolya screams. - I want to make a romantic card with my own hands and give it to a girl, please help me compose a beautiful declaration of love.

- And to whom are you going to give it, Kolenka? the teacher asks in a whisper. - Probably, Tanechka from a parallel class? I see that all the boys like her very much.

- No, not for her! Kolya answers.

- Why? - Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Really, you don't like her at all?

“I like it, very much…” Kolya sighs heavily. - But now all the boys are hitting her on the head with briefcases and pulling her beautiful braids, therefore, she will soon be bald and stupid. Why do I need such a wife?

Scene "no delay"

Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gold-plated chain.

The teacher is preparing to start the lesson, fashionista Masha enters the class.

- Masha, I want to praise you! - the teacher is delighted. - You are very, very rarely late lately!

“And where should I go, Lidia Mikhailovna?” - Sighing heavily, Mashenka answers. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the latest fashion collection, and now the one who wakes up first puts it on! - Masha adds and demonstrates the chain.

Characters: student Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. Props are not required.

The teacher checks the student's homework.

“Vovochka, I want to compliment you!” - says Natalya Nikolaevna. - You showed yourself very well when doing homework, you have excellent creative thinking!

Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! thanks Vovochka. May I compliment you too?

- Well, of course you can! - Natalya Nikolaevna answers.

You have such long and beautiful nails! – considering hand, says Vovochka. - You must be very comfortable climbing trees!

Scene "at the meeting"

Characters: mother of the student, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. Props are not needed.

The teacher and mother reprimand Kostya.

- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural and mass sector? the teacher asks.

“I remember, Elena Petrovna! Kostya replies sadly.

— Do you remember, you promised me to study well, and I promised you to buy a bicycle? Mom asks.

“I remember, Mommy…” Kostya says quietly.

- So why don't you study for "five"? asks both the teacher and the mother.

"Well, if you don't keep your promises, I don't see the need to keep mine!" - Kostya exclaims.

School - our brightest time, when everything is perceived sharply, we want creativity and self-expression. We have collected interesting scenes from school life, about school and.
sketch for high school students: "At the doctor's"

"At the doctor's.
(doctor enters and shouts angrily towards someone)
V. Where was, where was. I was in the morgue, she prepared a place for you. Where to sit. Say your hated last name.
P. Sergeev.
Q. Sir or Sir?
P. Ser.
Q. First name patronymic?
P. Sergey Sergeevich.
Q. Sir or Sir?
P. Ser.
Q. Year of birth?
P. 91.
B. Completely.
P. Sergeev Sergey Sergeevich ...
B. Year of birth in full.
P. 1800 oh!!! 1991
V. So eight hundred or nine hundred (sarcastically)
P. Sure 900
Q. Too late, I already wrote.
B. Date of birth.
P. 19 Sept-September 1-8-9-1.
Q. And this is you at home in front of your wife, and here is a polyclinic, here they are being treated, by the way ... Paul.
P. What is not visible?
Q. Here it says "gender", so answer.
P. Female!!!
Q. Married???
P. What the hell is married? Can't you see that it's masculine, completely masculine!
V. Too late, I already wrote. I will not correct the documents ... so married?
P. Married, married.
Q. What is the job of the husband?
P. Waiter-KOY!!!
Q. Do you have children?
P. No!
Q. How much?
P. How much of what?
Q. Here, first it says there are children ?, and then it says how many? Here also answer.
P. Write: no ... two ... children.
Q. Do you speak foreign languages?
P. No.
Q. With slang, without slang?
P. With slang!? Maybe with a dictionary?
B. Don't be rude, citizen. I don't write these forms! So with or without sling?
P. With a slang, with a slang.
Q. Do you have a criminal record?
P. No.
Q. For what?
P. For forgery of documents, for malicious hooliganism and for murder
with burglary.
B. Looks decent! Have you been abroad?
P. No.
Q. For what purpose?
P. Worked in America, for Japanese intelligence, with Chinese veneer!
Q. Why are you a citizen, a Chinese spy, are you not being treated there? Pulled for free?
P. UGH!!!
V. Go, go, unfortunate samurai!………Toka, please don’t yell at me!!!"

Sketch about a teacher for seniors:

Two sexy girls are sitting at the first table. At the blackboard, the teacher gives a lecture. The teacher constantly glances at sexy girls.
TEACHER: As a result of the diffusion of electrons from the base to the emitter ... I would fuck you!
There is a pause in the class.
GIRLS: Excuse me?
TEACHER: Hmm... and chalk... I'm out of chalk... That's all for today.

About grades at school

All welcome on the stage of our guest ……………
- Greetings.
- The beginning of the year, everyone who is used to having fun in the summer, miraculously survived these two months of study, cramming, another deuce in the diary - unpleasant. So we listen carefully, this is an instruction on how not to get a deuce in a lesson even if you didn’t learn anything.
For those who are not interested, they quietly repeat, shaking their heads, this is a glitch, this is a glitch, it’s turned on. Let's practice. (if there is someone to correct)
- Well, now I don’t repeat it carefully twice.
- The first subject is the most terrible, you can get a deuce at a time - History.
This way is to pretend to be Napoleon, to threaten with the Bastille, if it doesn’t work, you can say that he is sick, but Karina Viktorovna does not touch the sick.
- The second subject is Chemistry. Chemistry is a terrible subject of table formulas - you can get a deuce at a time.
The method is this - If asked, say that you Napoleon accidentally went to History and stayed for the second lesson. Also ask how to get in the direction of Moscow and boldly stomp out the door.
- Another subject of Physics is a terrible subject, tasks to solve are not seeds to click - you can get a deuce at a time.
This way is to anger Elena Leonidovna, and in anger, Elena Leonidovna, like Karina Viktorovna, does everything as in History and it's in the bag.
- Biology is a complex subject, it is necessary to learn, but there is no time - you can get a deuce at once.
The method with fleas will not work, it’s checked - it’s hackneyed, you need to be smarter, tell us about aliens and what would happen if they had fleas!
- And the last subject for today - Informatics - a very scary subject, all of the above methods do not work - you can get a deuce at a time.
Quietly I tell, especially impressionable can leave. In computer science, you need to sit quietly, like a mouse, there is the possibility of getting lost among the mice, but there is also the possibility of a puncture, there is no tail and rug, so on the day when computer science is with you, you need to take a carpet and a wire, then success is 100%.
- I wish you success.
- For today, everyone who is interested will continue another time. And today he taught you the mind

School scene for a holiday / party:

The teacher and the class asset are trying to organize a school party... The scene is suitable for the New Year's holiday.
Scene for 5 people.

Teacher: Guys, what holiday will we have soon?
Voronina: Winter holidays!
Teacher: No, we have a new year soon!
Samokhvalov (Ironically): Yes, but we didn't know. Thank you for opening our eyes.
Teacher: Okay, that's enough. I have brought you here to organize a celebration with a class.
Voronina: A holiday with a class is good, but organizing is bad! Why just us?
Teacher: You are the asset of the class.
Samokhvalov: How unfair. You study well, and for this you need to organize something else!
Ivanov: So, but I'm not an asset of the class and I'm studying for deuces, what do I have to do with it?
Teacher: For a change. In addition, you have a great opportunity to correct the deuce in my subject to a three!
Ivanov: And what should I do?
Teacher: You will be responsible for organizing the masses.
Ivanov: Me, why?
Teacher: Well, you managed to organize the masses for skipping classes, which means you can spit out for the holiday.
Voronina: And what should I be responsible for?
Teacher: You will be responsible for costumes.
Voronina: Why?
Teacher: Yes, because you go to school alone without a uniform, made up and colorful like a parrot. If this is your everyday wear, then it will be interesting to look at the festive one!
Samokhvalov: I hope I will be responsible for something normal?
Teacher: Samokhvalov, I appoint you responsible for finances and food.
Samokhvalov: Because I'm the only one who understands food?
Teacher: No. We just have a small budget. And you're the only one who manages to eat breakfast for Mozgovichkin for free! And here you somehow get out.
Mozgovichkin: So, who eats all my breakfasts. Well, I'm for you!
Samokhvalov: Not all! Half of the claims against Voronina, I share with her!
Teacher: And you, Mozgovichkin, will be responsible for the cultural program.
Mozgovichkin: This is because I am the most cultured.
Teacher: Culture and the cultural program at the festival are two different things. It's just that all other positions are already taken. Well, how are we going to have fun?
Mozgovichkin: Well, I think we can arrange a competition for the fastest reading and the fastest mental calculation. You can do a history quiz.
Teacher: Remember Mozgovichkin again - culture and cultural program are different things. We need something more fun. New Year - Santa Claus, Snow Maiden. By the way, Voronina, you will come dressed as a snow maiden.
Voronina: Are you kidding me? Let's dress up Samokhvalov as an elf.
Teacher: And this is an idea. By the way, Elf, what will we eat and where will we find finances?
Ivanov: You'd better put Mozgovichkin on finances, and Samokhvalov on a cultural program. And then after all, Mozgovichkin thinks it’s good, but he doesn’t know how to have fun normally!
Teacher: Ivanov, you keep quiet and organize the masses. And what to eat and what to eat, I'll figure it out myself. Okay, go ahead, class asset.
(Everyone except the teacher and Mozgovichkin step aside and speak)
Voronina: Snow Maiden costume, reading contest! Horror! Thank God that we are going to Samokhvalov's New Year's party. So Ivanov, organize the masses for our get-together!
Samokhvalov: And most importantly, not a word to Mozgovichkin, otherwise we will again solve puzzles instead of dancing! And let him and Inna Mikhailovna have fun alone at school!

Scene at school in a literature lesson

Class. Board. Children are sitting at their desks in the classroom. There is a number on the board.
Teacher: So, today we will talk with you about the novel by Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky "Crime and Punishment"! Pichushkin!
Pichushkin reluctantly gets up from his desk.
Pichushkin: Marya Vladimirovna, I haven't read
Teacher: And what did you do?
Pichushkin: (rumples) I was ... watching "Spider-Man" ...
Laughter in class
Teacher: Maybe Shcheglov will tell us about the image of Raskolnikov?
Shcheglov just as reluctantly gets up from his desk
Shcheglov: I, too... looked about the Spider...
Teacher: Good!!! And what attracts you to this "Spider-Man"?
Pichushkin: Well... they shoot at him there.
Shcheglov: ... And then bam - a web! And he won everyone!
Teacher: Shoot! Web! Did you know that the image of Spider-Man occupies a special place in American animation of the late twentieth century. The free life of the New York scoundrels is interrupted by the classic phrase: "Spider-Man is coming to us!" The forces of evil become in opposition to our hero. In addition to the fact that Spider-Man is a commoner, he is a mutant to the marrow of his bones, which, by the way, he does not have! Critics define Spider-Man's character as "resolute, solid, American"! Unlike Chukovsky's drama, our Spider has a human face, and nothing human, like nothing spidery, is alien to him! This makes him spit cobwebs and easily climb skyscrapers, where, towering over the bustle of the metropolis, the hero asks himself the question “Am I a trembling creature, or a person capable of loving and forgiving?!”
Children listen with their mouths open
Teacher: Write down the topic of the next essay: “Pokémonism, or who lives well in Japan”!

In a history lesson at school

Teacher: So, he will tell us about Napoleon's coming to power ... he will tell us ...
Looks at the magazine, then at the class
Teacher: Vitya Tolmachev, I promised to ask you! You have a word!
Tolmachev: Marya Stepanovna, Why should I tell! Let's better Napoleon himself will tell!
Teacher: Tolmachev, are you ready? Say so!
Tolmachev: I'm serious, let's arrange a séance and summon the spirit of Napoleon!
Teacher: Well... I don't know... you can try...
Children and the teacher are sitting around the table, twilight, all stretching out my hands to the center. Saucer in the center.
Tolmachev: I challenge Napoleon! I call Napoleon!
There is a rustle in the corner in the darkness. Everyone turns around. Napoleon is standing there. There is great surprise on the faces of the teacher and the children.
Napoleon: In the name of the revolution, I order you to give Vita Tolmachev five stars for the year in history!
Teacher: Your imperial majesty... Tolmachev?... well, well... Only, your imperial majesty, your voice is familiar to me! And why are you… in sneakers?!
Napoleon in full uniform, in a cocked hat, but in sneakers. The teacher is approaching the "Napoleon", tearing off the cocked hat.
Teacher: Kukushkin!? Talent! I almost believed! Well, then, I propose to continue the session.
Everyone is back at the table. Kukushkin and Tolmachev stand with guilty faces.
Teacher: I call the parents of Tolmachev and Kukushkin! I call the parents of Tolmachev and Kukushkin!

little school scene

Before the lesson.
Student. Chemistry again, and again I don't know anything and, as always, they will ask me. What would you come up with? (He fumbles in his pockets, finds a button there.) Ah, that's an idea!
On the lesson.

Teacher. Hello, have a seat. (Looks at the magazine.) Well, who should I ask today? Who studies for one deuce? Who was not at the lesson yesterday, or the day before yesterday, or the day before yesterday? Who is hiding under the desk there now? Aha, Denisik! Go to the blackboard and write the electronic formula for water. Do you know her?
Student. Of course I know. It's easier than ever. By the way, I brought you a button.
Teacher. What for?
Student. Well, how? You collect them.
Teacher. Who told you such nonsense?
Student. Yes, everyone at school knows that you collect buttons.
Teacher. No, and never has been.
Student. Nina Ivanovna, why are you denying it? It's so wonderful to collect buttons. Some people collect calendars, coins, lottery tickets, and you - buttons! Look, what a pretty button: it shimmers in the sun. She is both red and green (twirling in front of the teacher) and so strong, right out of solid metal.
Teacher. Okay, I don't collect buttons, let's close this topic. Don't talk to me with your teeth. By the way, you say that the button is made of metal, then tell me about the basic properties of metals.
Student (asks for help from the class, and the class begins to leaf through the textbooks). Metals... It's easier than ever... Metals, they are metals in Africa, Nina Ivanovna. Here you go again! I have a lot of respect for people who have hobbies. And the buttons have four holes! Look.
Teacher. Why are you brainwashing me? I have never collected buttons and never intend to collect them.
Student. Well, you're starting again. And I was hoping that I would bring you this wonderful button, and you will be delighted. After all, when I saw her, I immediately thought of you. I didn’t sleep all night, thinking: how not to forget how happy you will be when you see her.
Teacher. The whole class, or what, conspired? Why do I need this button that I don't have enough of my own?
Student. That's right, there will be even more, since you say that you have few of them. And the button is rare. You probably don't have one.
Teacher. For God's sake, get away from me! Honestly, I don't collect these buttons, why are you pestering me?
Student. Has stuck? Have I arrived? I wanted the best. It even says on your forehead that you collect them. Take it please! (Gives to teacher.)

The bell rings.

Student. Well, here's the call. And if you took it right away, I would have time to tell you about H2O and the basic properties of metals. As always, the five failed.

N. V. Zaika
station Novomalorossiyskaya, Krasnodar Territory

The scene "Whose help is better?"

King.

Alina, Polina, Evelina - daughters of the king.

King(daughters). Today I walked around our palace and was just horrified: a complete mess! Books are lying on the floor, shoes are on the windowsills, and clothes are on the beds! And everywhere - candy wrappers! And so I decided to do some cleaning today. And I want to ask you: how will you help me?

Alina. Here's how I can help. When you start cleaning, I will turn on the record player and play your favorite record "Kings Can Do Anything". With this fun song, you will instantly clean up!

Pauline. I'd rather turn on the TV. There will be shown the program "Visiting a fairy tale." I will watch it carefully and tell you everything. And you will clean the whole palace fabulously fast!

King(turning to Evelina with a sigh). What will you turn on?

Evelina. I will turn on the vacuum cleaner. No, first I'll put everything in its place. Then I'll take a broom and sweep all the garbage. Then I will remove the dust with a vacuum cleaner. After that, wipe the window sills and all the furniture with a damp cloth. And when everything is clean, we will all sit down together and watch TV.

King. Well, now I found out that I have only one real assistant!

Scene "At the doctor's"

Characters

A student with a briefcase is standing in front of the doctor's office. He is indecisive.

Student. What to do? To go or not to go? And suddenly kicked out? No I'm not going. Yes, what about control? No, you have to go. Was not! (He pulls out a towel from his briefcase, ties it around his head. Then he knocks on the door.)

Doctor. Yes, yes, come in!

Student(included). Can?

Doctor(writes something, then stops writing, looks at the student). Come in, come in, sit down. What are you complaining about?

Student. Feeling very bad.

Doctor. Specifically, what hurts?

Student. Head. Stomach. Ear stuffed up. I hear nothing and understand nothing. Then, this, dizziness, pressure and palpitations.

Doctor. The temperature is?

Student. There is, there is! Thirty-eight and eight. Or forty-four and four. I do not remember.

Doctor. Clear. Do you remember your last name?

Student. No, I don't remember... I forgot.

Doctor. And forgot the name too?

Student. Yeah. And patronymic. Because my head hurts.

Doctor. And in what class do you study, and in what school - also forgot?

Student. Class ... it seems, the sixth "yu". And I completely forgot school.

Doctor. OK. Open the horn wider and say: "Aaaa."

Student. A-a-algebra.

Doctor. What is "algebra"? Control, or what, today?

Student. No, tomorrow. Oh no, I don't remember.

Doctor. Hmm yeah. (He looks at the student over his glasses.) A very difficult case! You can't go to school. You have to stay at home for two weeks.

Student(happily). Houses?

Student. What about English?

Doctor. It is forbidden!

Student. What about geography?

Doctor. In no case!

Student. Can you go to the cinema?

Doctor. Didn't I say? Necessarily! Twice a day - morning and afternoon!

Student. Thanks a lot!

Doctor. To health! All. You can go.

Student. Goodbye. Oh, and help?

Doctor. What help?

Student. Exemption from school. You didn't give me!

Doctor. Ah, liberation. No, unfortunately it won't work!

Student. Why?

Doctor. How can I write you a certificate if I don’t know your name, surname, or the school where you study!

Student. Oh, I think I'm starting to remember.

Doctor. Well done! What's the last name?

Student. Kotikov.

Student. Vasya! That is, Vasily Egorovich.

Doctor. Very well, now remember the class, the school.

Student. Sixth "b" class, school number twenty-five.

Doctor. Now think about algebra.

Student. About what algebra?

Doctor. About the one on which the control is tomorrow. Remembered?

Student. I remembered.

Doctor. Amazing! You see how quickly you recovered from me! And you don't even need a referral! Or is it still necessary? To the principal of school number twenty-five?

Student. Not necessary.

Doctor. Then goodbye. Kotikov Vasily Egorovich. Yes, don't forget to take the turban off your head, it doesn't suit you!

The student removes the towel from his head and leaves.

Scene "Grandmothers and grandchildren"

Characters

Two grandmothers.

First grandmother. Hello my dove! Let's go for a walk in the park.

Second grandmother. What the hell, I haven't done my homework yet.

First grandmother. Which lessons?

Second grandmother. Now it is fashionable to do homework for grandchildren. I want to try it, although it is probably non-pedagogical.

First grandmother. Why is it non-pedagogical? Yes, I have been doing lessons for my grandchildren all my life. If anything - ask me, I have a lot of experience.

Second grandmother. Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the poem: “There is a green oak near the seashore, a golden chain on that oak ...”

First grandmother. So good.

Second grandmother. "... Both day and night, the dog is a scientist ..."

First grandmother. What other dog?

Second grandmother. Well, I don't know what breed he is, maybe a Doberman Pinscher?

First grandmother. Yes, not a dog, but a scientist cat! Understood?

Second grandmother. Ah, I got it, I got it! Well, then I’ll start first: “At the seashore, there is a green oak, a golden chain on that oak, day and night, a scientist cat ... goes to the grocery store with a string bag.”

First grandmother. With what bag? Which deli? Learn the poem again.

Second grandmother. Oh, I have so many more lessons! One grandson is in the sixth grade and the other is in the first. His teacher asked to bring cash to school.

First grandmother. What checkout? From the store, right? Don't drag me into this!

Second grandmother. Well, where is the store? Cashier is the alphabet. Okay, I'll do it myself, and you help me solve the problem.

First grandmother. So... (takes a textbook, reads) "...two pipes are connected to the bathroom..." Remember, in order to solve a problem, you need to have a good idea of ​​what it says. “Two rude pipes are connected to the bathroom ...” - did you imagine?

Second grandmother. Yes, yes, I did.

First grandmother."... Through one water flows in, through another it pours out." Presented?

Second grandmother. Introduced! (Running away.) Presented-ah!

First grandmother. Wait! Where are you running?

Second grandmother. Water is pouring out! Can fill the whole floor ...

First grandmother. Take it easy. In fact, the water does not pour out. This is only mentioned in the task! Now tell me, when will the bath be filled?

Second grandmother. Will never fill up. They themselves said - the water does not pour ...

First grandmother. Goodbye. You will be taken to the hospital. And my homework has not yet been done: I need to conduct an experiment in botany - to grow beans.

Second grandmother. Oh, yes, yes, I remember you took beans from me.

First grandmother. Yes, something does not grow these beans! Apparently poor quality...

Second grandmother. How poor quality? Well, do good to people! It can be said that I tore off the beans from myself - I took them out of the soup.

First grandmother. Wait, wait, how - from the soup? It's me, it turns out, raised boiled beans? Thank you, cheered...

Second grandmother. Well, I didn’t know why you need beans, don’t be offended!

First grandmother. What do you think, if we continue to study so hard, maybe they will give us some grade?

Second grandmother(whispers). Between us, it's already been placed.

First grandmother. Yes? And what is the rating?

Second grandmother. Kol!

First grandmother. Why such a bad rating?

Second grandmother. Because we don't mind our own business.

First grandmother. Adults do everything for the children, and then they are surprised: “Ah, they grow up with white hands! ..”

The old ladies leave.

Scene "Enchanted letter"

Characters

Denis. Once Alenka, Mishka and I were playing in the yard. It was before the New Year. They brought a tree to our yard. She lay large, furry, and smelled so deliciously of frost that we stood like fools and smiled. And suddenly Alenka said:

Alenka. Look, there are SENSES hanging on the Christmas tree!

Denis. Mishka and I rolled like that!

bear. Oh, I'm dying of laughter! Investigations!

Denis. Well gives: detectives!

Bear. The girl is five years old, but she says "detectives." Oh, I can't! Oh, I feel bad! Oh water! Give me more water! I'm going to faint now! (Falls, laughs.)

Denis. Oh, I even started to hiccup with laughter! Hic! Hic! I'll probably die now! The girl is already five years old, she will soon marry, and she is a detective!

Alenka(offended). Did I say that correctly! This is my tooth falling out and whistling. I want to say "spy", but I whistle "spy".

bear. Think! Her tooth fell out! .. I have fallen out as many as three and one is staggering, but I still speak correctly. Listen here: chuckles! What? Really, great? HIGHLIGHTS! I can even sing

Mihka clubfoot

Walking through the forest

Khyhki collects

And he puts it in his pocket.

Alenka(shouts). Ah-ah-ah! Not right! Hooray! You say "snickers", but you have to - "detectives"!

bear. No, it's necessary - "chuckles"!

Alenka. No, detectives!

Bear. No, "snickers"!

Alenka. No, detectives! (Obarevut.)

Denis. I laughed so hard that I even got hungry. I'll go home. Here are the freaks! Why are they arguing so, since both are wrong? After all, it is a very simple word. No "detectives", no "snickers", but briefly and clearly: "fifties"! That's all.

According to the materials of the newsreel "Yeralash"

Scene "Day of Help to Parents"

Characters

Anton. Mum.

Three classmates of Anton.

Anton appears on the stage. He wipes the dust with a rag, sweeps the floor with a brush, dancing and singing: "My baby, I miss you ...".

Mom enters in outerwear, freezes in place.

Mum. Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened, mom. Let me help you undress. (Helps take off jacket.)

Mom enters the room, notices that the dust has been wiped off.

Mum. Did you dust off? Myself?

Anton. Myself.

Mum. Tell me honestly, Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened.

Mum. Am I being called to school?

Anton. Not...

Mom walks across the room, notices that the floor has been swept.

Mum. Have you swept the floor? Myself?! Unbelievable... (She puts her hand to her forehead, checking to see if she has a fever.)

Anton. Mom, don't worry. I washed the dishes and did my homework.

Mum. Lessons done ... I beg you, Anton, tell me what happened after all? (Clutches his heart, sits down on a chair.)

Anton. Well, I'm telling you: nothing happened! The doorbell rings. Enter three children.

1st. Good evening! How was Parenting Day?

2nd. Hak, cleanliness, order. Wiped the dust, swept the floor ...

3rd(opens magazine). Check mark! (Ticks with a pencil.)

Anton. Helping Parents Day, Helping Parents Day! Here, look what your Parenting Day has brought a person to! (Pointing to mom.)

Children surround mother from all sides.

1st(vigorously). Valerian! Water! (Counting drops.) 23, 24, 25! (Gives mother a drink.) How nervous all mothers are! It was necessary to first explain that it was only for one day and tomorrow everything would be the same!

Scene "About a kitten who could not read"

Characters

Yasha is a kitten.

One day Murka's cat, Yasha's mother, said to the kitten:

Murka. It's time for you, Yasha, to learn to read.

Yasha. I'll still succeed!

Murka. Nothing to be lazy. Let's start right now. Sit down, I'll show you the letters.

Yasha reluctantly sits down.

Murka. Let's start with the simplest letter - "O". (Shows the letter "O")

Yasha. Some circle...

Murka. Yes, it looks like a circle. This letter is called "O". Repeat!

Yasha. This letter is called "O". What words contain this letter?

Murka. In many. For example, in the words "cat" and "cat". (Shows cards with words written on them.)

Yasha. And in the word "kitten"?

Murka. And in the word "kitten" there are even two letters "O". Look. (Shows a card with a written word.)

Yasha. See see! Two mugs! And three? Three letters "O" happens in words?

Murka. Certainly. There is such a good word - "milk". (Shows a card.)

Yasha. Truth! Three whole circles! Is there a letter in the word "ice cream"?

Murka. There is. And also three. Look. (Shows a card.)

Yasha. Good word! And in two ice creams, that means six letters "O". And in three...

Murka. Don't talk nonsense! And in general, we now have no arithmetic! That's all for today. Go for a walk!

Yasha. What a good letter! And it happens in the best words! And the tastiest!

Yasha approaches the screen, on which hangs a sign with the inscription: “Caution! Angry dog!"

Yasha. What a beautiful sign! And three words are written on it ... And in the first word there are whole ... one, two, three, four ... Wow!

As many as four letters "O"! Blimey! There must be something very tasty or pleasant here! ..

The kitten looks behind the screen. From there, a deafening bark is heard. Yasha jumps out from behind the screen, tears off the sign and runs to her mother.

Murka(seeing the excited Yasha). What happened to you? Why are you so disheveled and trembling all over? What happened?

Yasha. Mom, I was walking, I saw a fence, a beautiful sign hung on the fence (gives the sign to mom), three words are written on it, and in the first word there are four letters “O”! I thought that there must be something very tasty or pleasant...

Murka. So! I understand everything! This is what happens when you can't read! Do you know what is written on this plate? "Carefully! Angry dog!".

Yasha. Yes, it is written there correctly, the dog is really angry ... You know what, mom, let's learn the rest of the letters!

Scene "Word game"

Characters

Petya is a son.

Two boys - one older, the other younger - go on stage, sit on chairs. In the hands - pictures and pencils.

Petya. Dad, draw me something.

Dad. No, we will take turns drawing and play word at the same time.

Petya. Like this?

Dad. That's how. We will invent words for any letter and depict these words with drawings. Take, for example, the letter "P". I start. (Draws a briefcase, shows.)

Petya. Clear. And I'll draw ... (draws a locomotive).

Dad. Well done! The ship is like a real one! And I came up with this ... (draws and shows the belt).

Petya. No belt! He's not on the letter "P"!

Dad. It's not a belt, it's a belt!

Petya. Well you figured it out! Then I will draw ... (draws and shows a cat).

Dad. But you can’t have a cat, it’s not with the letter “P”!

Petya. And this is not just a cat, but Fluff!

Dad. Oh you sly one! Good. I will draw ... (draws and shows a portrait).

Petya. Who is it?

Dad. It's nobody. It's just a portrait.

Petya. Great. And I'll draw ... (draws and shows uncle).

Dad. And who is this?

Petya. It's nobody. It's just a passerby.

Dad. Well done! And I'll draw a parrot. (Draws and shows.)

Petya. Great! And I'll draw a penguin. (Draws and shows.)

Dad. Look. (Shows the boy in the picture.)

Petya. Who is this? If it's a boy it doesn't count.

Dad. What, didn't you know? After all, this is Petya, that is, you!

Petya. Now found out! And I'll draw ... (draws and shows uncle).

Dad. Who is this? If uncle, it does not count!

Petya. What, didn't you know? It's dad, that is you!

Dad. Now I know. And here's what I came up with. (Draws and shows a woman.) This is our mother. I drew her because she is a teacher and teaches singing.

Petya. Great! And here's what I came up with! (Draws and shows a calendar.)

Dad. Calendar? Why?

Dad. Correctly. And on this day we will present to her ... (draws a gift and flowers).

Petya. A gift is understandable. What about flowers? They are not in the letter "P" ...

Dad. So what? Anyway, mom will be happy!

School life is full of events - funny and sad, simple and complex, serious and not very - but always exciting. No wonder books and films "about school" are loved by all generations of former and current schoolchildren. If school situations are treated with ease and humor, then you can have fun, and some problems, if you look at them from this angle, will be solved by themselves. To do this, you just need to play! Scenes from school life do not even need to be remembered - these scenes have already been collected in our collection. And not simple ones, you will find here the newest original scene from the author “Gingerbread Man in a New Way”, an opera scene that will amuse any team, as well as scenes - fairy tales. Joint creativity brings people closer. Share with us your scenarios.

Humorous fairy tales for children to school and camp

Comic New Year's scene - the opera "ABOUT THE HARE" - funny to the point of drop, for an adult team and senior classes at school

Everyone sings in the scene as best they can, the funnier the better. The main thing is to rehearse 2-3 times and you will be the highlight of the evening :-) You should first listen to the cartoon “The bunny went out for a walk”.

In the photo below, our 8th grade, mid-80s ... It was once we staged a musical scene about a hare. While rehearsing so laughed, barely kept from laughing during the performance. 🙂 We came up with folders for the entourage, words are very easy to learn.

Choir:
Oh you grass-ant meadow,
Oh, you hare side dear!
We are sure that sooner or later
The bunny will come out for a walk in the meadow.
One, two, three, four, five…
One, two, three, four, five…
One, two, three, four, five…
One, two, three, four, five…
One-two-three-four, one-two-three-four
One-two-three-four-five-a-at ...
…Released!!
Hare: (tenor)
I went out for a walk in the forest
I'm scared, I'm scared
My soul is full of anticipation...
My soul... My soul-ah-ah...
... Full of foreboding. Soul is full...

Choir: Premonitions did not deceive him!
Hunter: (bass)
So where are you? I need you.
You deigned to eat my carrots!
Choir:
What a shame, what a shame!
Our hare is a thief, our hare is a thief!
What a shame, what a shame!
Our hare is a thief, our hare is a thief!
Hare:
Not true!
Choir:
Truth!
Hare:
Not true!
Choir:
Truth!
Hare:
…I didn’t eat carrots!
Hunter:
To the barrier!
Hare:
To the barrier!
Choir:
Now someone's blood will be shed
Now it will spill...
Will spill...
One male voice from the choir:
It's pouring...
Hare:
Oh, will my slanting eyes close forever?
And I will not see you, my love!
My love!
My love, my carrot!
Forever yours, my dear-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ...
Hunter:
Now. Now. Now. Now…
Pif! Puff!
Hare:
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Hunter:
My bunny is dying!
The choir sings vocalis and cries.
Hare:
Will bring me home
I'll be alive...
Choir:
And more than once
Bunny will come out
Take a walk!
And more than once
The bunny will come out for a walk!
Walk!
Walk!
Walk-walk-walk!
the curtain

The final, fifth parody (“opera”) ends with a bravura chorus “And more than once the bunny will come out for a walk! ..”. In the script, this vocal number is not interrupted on this line, but continues: “... the words are not heard, it is incomprehensible, incomprehensible - and do not care!”. But censorship forbade this line to be performed in the cartoon, considering it a libel on the Soviet opera.

Gingerbread man in a new way - original from the author

(reprinting of material is only allowed using a backlink)

Lived - there was a grandfather and a woman far away, but in the camp,

They ate bread and porridge. It's just that they were sad.

They had no children, they had no grandchildren,

That is why sadness, melancholy, a hole came to them.

And the grandmother and grandfather decided not to be sad, not toil,

It is better to go to the dining room with a cheerful song!

They walked with a friendly step, scraped together a little flour there,

Butter, sugar and salt! Here are the freaks!

From that composition, the woman thought to bake a pie,

But while fiddling with the dough, it turned out a bun!

That gingerbread man was cooled,

put on the window

Have a little rest.

But they forgot one thing:

After all, they read the tale far more than once,

But they did not believe that a fairy tale is a real story!

That bun rolled!

Tired of lying down!

He leaned on the threshold and ran himself to run.

Sees - on the way the director of the camp darling

With a surprised look, he looks at the unsociable miracle!

Gingerbread man sang a song here, than he finished off the director,

But he learned from his experience, his director praised!

I didn’t kick him out of the camp, and I didn’t want to eat him,

And only wished him success and much happiness.

Said that he did not catch the other kids in the eye,

And then he will have to find out, how a tear rolls from his eyes.

After all, kids will make you have fun and jump,

And they will teach you to dance and sing, and they won't let you sleep.

But our hero - a brave fellow did not heed the advice,

And with joy, enthusiasm, he quickly jumped to the kids.

He, of course, was surprised at first by the exploits of the children.

They tickled him, made him jump faster!

I had to invent games for them, and dance and sing songs,

To get him and torment them there was no time to be in time!

But the gingerbread man got used to them all the same and learned to live with them,

And now grandma and grandpa don't have to grieve either.

The director with obvious admiration said that it is better not to have him!

You will be the leader here! After all, there is no one here cooler!

Since then, in that camp there is a competition for the best counselor,

But it's still hard to find a better kolobok!

"The Prince Behind the Gates" (sketch for school and holiday camp)
Prince: Knock Knock.
Servant: Who's there?
Prince: I am the prince behind the gates.
Servant: We must report to the king. your majesty
King: (He's a prince.) What?
Servant: There is a prince outside the gate.
King: So give him the gate.
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need a princess hand.
Servant:
King: (He's a prince) What happened?
Servant: There is a prince outside the gate.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: And what does he need?
Servant: He needs the hand of a princess!
King:
Queen: (she's a servant) What happened, love?
King: There is a prince outside the gate.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: Give me the gate!
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need a princess hand.
Servant: I have to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What happened?
Servant: There is a prince outside the gate.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: And what does he need?

Servant: He needs the hand of a princess!
King: I need to talk to my wife! Expensive!
Queen:(she's a servant) What happened, love?
King: There is a prince outside the gate.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: Give me the gate!
Servant: Take the gate!
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need a princess hand.
Servant: I have to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What happened?
Servant: There is a prince outside the gate.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: And what does he need?
Servant: He needs the hand of a princess!
King: I need to talk to my wife! Expensive!
Queen: (she's a servant) What happened, love?
King: There is a prince outside the gate.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: But he doesn't need a gate.
Queen: And what does he need?
King: He wants our daughter's hand.
Queen:
A princess: What?!
Queen: There's a prince outside the gate!
A princess: Well, give him the gate!
Queen: Give up the gate.
King: Give me the gate.
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need a princess hand.
Servant: I have to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What happened?
Servant: There is a prince outside the gate.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: And what does he need?
Servant: He needs the hand of a princess!
King: I need to talk to my wife! Expensive!
Queen: (she's a servant) What happened, love?
King: There is a prince outside the gate.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: But he doesn't need a gate.
Queen: And what does he need?
King: He wants our daughter's hand.
Queen: I need to talk to the princess! Cute!
A princess: (She's a king, she's a servant) What?!
Queen: There's a prince outside the gate!
A princess: Well, give him the gate!
Queen: But he doesn't need a gate!
A princess: What does he need?
Queen: He needs your hand!
A princess: NO!
Queen: No.
King: No.
Servant: No.
Prince: Absolutely not?
Servant: Absolutely not?
King: Absolutely not?
Queen: Absolutely not?
A princess: Exactly. NO.
Queen: Absolutely not.
King: Absolutely not.
Servant: Absolutely not.
Prince: Well, give at least the gate!