Swedish family. Swedish family: truth and fiction. About relationships at work

I grew up in a strict church family, my father held a very high position in the Swedish church, we moved a lot. Until the age of nineteen, I was unaware of my homosexuality. At seventeen or eighteen I had first one boyfriend, then another. Not that I was delighted with these relationships, but I didn’t particularly stare at the girls either. In general, I was sure that I was straight.

About meeting his wife

I met my future wife in college, on a literary course. I liked her right away. Although she had a boyfriend, and I was free. But some kind of chemistry between us arose immediately. I did not dare to take the first step, because I did not want to interfere in their relationship. I soon realized that she liked me too. After our first kiss, she left her boyfriend and we started dating. For the first six months we lived separately, and then, when we entered the university, we decided to move in together. Then I decided to confess to my parents and older sisters that I was a lesbian. The sisters were not shocked by the news, although, of course, they were surprised. My parents, oddly enough, supported me, they said that they would love me for who I am. This touched me very much, although we are not very close with them. After this conversation, they no longer returned to this topic. It seems to me that this still causes some embarrassment for them, although they immediately treated my future wife with sympathy.

Benefit for housing
we got full size like
and heterosexual couples

About living together

We started living together in a small university town in the south of Sweden. In general, neither in Stockholm, where we moved later, nor in small towns where I happened to live, I did not feel a lack of tolerance. Although misunderstandings happen often. For example, according to Swedish law, a young couple living together (this is called sambo. - Approx. ed.) Can receive financial assistance for renting or buying a home. Since my girlfriend and I already officially lived together and were registered at the same address, we applied for this subsidy. I got a call from the lady from the social department and said that since we are friends, we are entitled to a smaller subsidy. I objected that we are not friends and are in a romantic relationship. The lady hesitated a little, and then said: "I understand, okay" . We received full housing allowance, as did heterosexual couples. We registered the “Partnership” in 1999, then it was still called that. But already in 2001, when the parliament equated gay marriages with heterosexual marriages, we filed a new application, and our partnership received the status of a marriage. Then my wife took my last name. We thought it would make things easier, but we had to clarify everywhere that we were not sisters. Especially since I have a rare surname.

About the birth of children

When we got married, we had a small wedding, invited close relatives and a few friends to it. Everything went modestly, but I consider this day one of the happiest in my life. Already at the beginning of our relationship, we knew that we wanted to have children. In Sweden, according to my observations, they made some kind of cult out of it. If you get married - it doesn't matter if it's a same-sex marriage or a different-sex marriage - everyone around is interested in when you are going to have children. And if there is already one child in the family, everyone starts pestering you with the question of when you will give birth to the second. At first, we did not know how to do this, because we did not consider the option of traditional insemination, that is, sex with a man. Both my wife and I wanted to have a child.

We went to a consultation with RFSL (a very influential Swedish LGBT organization that provides assistance to LGBT people. - Approx. Ed.) And found out that you can get pregnant in an alternative way. We were given pamphlets on how to do it properly and hygienically. It was necessary to solve the issue of sperm donation. Just to find a donor - this option did not suit us very much. We wanted biological fathers, preferably a gay couple, to also be interested in children and would like to raise them together . The internet wasn't as common back then, and we opted for the old-fashioned way - we advertised in a major LGBT newspaper. Several men responded to it, we chose Tommy and Mikaele. We liked them: like us, they were in a strong marriage. To get to know them better, we went on a ferry cruise together for a couple of days. At our request, they passed the necessary tests.

I think that my fathers and I were lucky: despite the fact that now they, like us, are divorced (we divorced after 14 years of marriage, they - after 17 years), Tommy and Mikaele are on an equal footing with us in raising children. After we met, we decided that I was having a baby with Mikke, and my wife with Tommy, and I would be the first to have a baby. I had a wonderful boy, two years later my wife gave birth to a girl from Tommy.

We wanted so that biological fathers are preferably
gay couple, were also interested in children and would like them educate together

About double divorce

When we had children, my wife and I bought a big house. The children lived with us for two weeks a month, and then for two weeks with their fathers. From the very beginning, we decided to be open with the children and not hide how they were born. For them, we are both real mothers, they also consider Tommy and Mikke to be their real parents. Children know that each of them has a biological mother and a biological father: my son knows that I am his biological mother, and Mikke is the biological father, and Katarina knows that Tommy is her biological father, and my ex-wife is her biological mother. Nevertheless, she also calls me mom. We all take turns going to parent-teacher meetings at school. If suddenly I don’t have time to go to school with my son, my ex-wife goes with one of the fathers. When the ex cannot go to her daughter for a parent meeting, then I go with Mikke or Tommy. All teachers know what kind of family we have. However, after Tommy and Mikke and I divorced, things got more complicated. At the court, it was decided that all four of us equally have the right to be with children and participate in their upbringing. Only all of us still had to agree on a schedule, when and how long the children live with each parent. At first it was a complete madhouse. Both me and the former, as well as their fathers, had a hard time communicating after the divorce. But we didn't want it to reflect on the children. Although, of course, they felt everything. Despite their young age (son is 11 years old, daughter is 9), they know and understand everything. I was very upset by the divorce and, to be honest, did not want to know anything about my ex's new relationship. Moreover, I was alone then, and the thought that my ex-wife had someone was unbearable for me. But since the children came to me and told me that their other mother had a new girlfriend, that they went to the water park together, I had to endure and not show how I feel. However, my daughter saw how worried I was and asked: “Mom, maybe you could live together: you, mom and her friend? And would you be fine?" I replied that it wouldn't work.

About shift parenting

Now the children take turns living with each of us. For example, they stay at Mikke's for the weekend, then from Monday to Friday it's my turn. I pick them up Monday night from school and take a few days off from work or just leave work early. Then Tommy picks them up from school on Friday night, and so on. Every month the children stay with me once on the weekends and once on weekdays. And so - for each of the four parents. True, Tommy sometimes fails. He may suddenly write to all of us: “I am urgently leaving for Spain next weekend, who can take the children with him?” This especially annoys me. Or when he says he'll pick up the kids in the morning and then ends up arriving in the evening. And we sit all day and wait for him to arrive. We may not be on the best of terms, especially my ex-wife and I, but we are always in touch and help each other. If suddenly one of the children gets sick, all parents should immediately be aware of what to cook, what pills to stock up on when it is their turn to take the children.

On holidays like Christmas or Midsommar (Sweden's Solstice Day. - Approx. ed.), each of us takes the children to us for two days. During the summer holidays, we have about two and a half weeks each to be with the children. Despite the fact that I love both children equally, my son is still special to me. I just don't show it to my kids. True, when my son was hospitalized with a broken arm, the doctor called my ex. We still have one surname, and in some documents of the children I am indicated as a contact person, in some - she is. I called the doctor back and asked him to call me about him, because I was his biological mother.

I've heard how they explained to their friends that their mothers fell in love with each other and wanted them to have kids like everyone else

About relationships at work

I am a social worker. At work, everyone is aware of my orientation, I do not hide anything from anyone. In my center, we help parents of children with special needs. I myself manage many cases, I advise parents who, for example, have a child with Down syndrome.

Once we were approached by a family consisting of two mothers who had a child with a serious brain injury. They were going to get a divorce, and we had to handle this case, because all the cases of children with special health conditions come to us. And at work they discussed what to do with the child, since this is a same-sex marriage. As in any other organization, we have an absolute majority of heterosexuals at work. I then said: “Let me speak, I still have an idea, since I myself was married to another woman.” And nothing, colleagues do not bulge their eyes.

About what kids think

I often wonder if our children would be happier if they had an ordinary family and two parents. To be honest, I don't know. I would give anything to see children every day. But I've come to terms with the way things are. We are often asked: “Do you like to torment your children with constant moving? After all, they are probably exhausted all the time moving from house to house. We asked the children how they were doing. They say: “What is it for us, we have fun, we have a big family and instead of two parents - as many as four! But for you yourself, probably, all this is not very good, since you got divorced. Children are calm about the fact that they have two moms and two dads, they are not embarrassed by their peers' questions about how it happened. I heard them explain to their friends that their mothers fell in love with each other and wanted them to have children too, like everyone else. . That they found two future dads and took the seed from them, but were not with these dads to have their children born. Therefore, they were born differently. Of course, other children listen to this story with their mouths wide open. Sometimes I wonder if it's too selfish what we got our kids into. Just think: when they, for example, want to start their own families, then not two parents will come to their wedding, but as many as four, and this is already four families. And if we consider that each of us now has a new partner, it turns out that it will be eight people. In the meantime, everything is going well, the four of us chip off at the children's birthdays, someone, for example, takes on the purchase of decoration balloons, someone prepares a cake, someone is responsible for the games. We take them in turn to rest, jointly pay the cost of education.

I am often asked: “What do you think, are your children straight? What if your son grows up and realizes that he is gay? It is not easy to answer this question. Of course, for my children, the very fact of the presence of homosexuality in society is not something extraordinary. But at the same time, Katarina always falls in love with boys, although, of course, she is only nine years old, it is too early to tell. Jonas is interested in girls. Frankly, I would rather have children of a traditional orientation. I would not want them to go through the difficulties that I have to face in life. Even in our society, which is considered one of the most tolerant, being gay and lesbian is harder than being straight.

About grandparents

We plan summer holidays for children together with the grandparents of other parents, because they also want to see their grandchildren. True, it usually turns out no more often than at Christmas, during the winter and summer holidays. This summer we will most likely go to Mikke's parents in northern Sweden, they have a big summer house by the lake. He convincingly asked us to reorganize the schedule so that in July the children would be with him. With my parents, as well as with the parents of my ex-wife, our children communicate infrequently, because the parents live far from Stockholm. But if I go out to my family on the weekend, I try to do it on the days when I have children, because my parents also want to babysit. In general, in Sweden it is not very common to involve grandparents in the upbringing of grandchildren or leave them for the summer with them. Of course, Christmas evening, when the whole family gathers, is sacred. Last Christmas, we nearly got into a fight with our second mother because we couldn't decide which of us could take the kids over for the weekend and take them to their parents. As a result, we agreed that on Saturday I would take the children to my parents, then on Sunday she would take them to hers. And on Christmas itself, all the parents get together, and Mikke and Tommy's parents also come, because they live in Stockholm. Grandparents are sure to buy all their children and grandchildren presents for Christmas. But parents in Sweden prefer to raise their children themselves. For example, if one parent works, then the second (it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman) can take parental leave. Until the age of seven, the child goes to kindergarten, where they study with him until six or seven in the evening. Despite the fact that the working day in most institutions ends at four or five o'clock.

frankly saying
I would rather children were traditional orientation

At the request of the heroine, all names have been changed.

Text: Elena Krivovyaz

Illustrations: Masha Shishova

The Swedish family - this expression has long been winged, and the first association that is associated with this phrase is that several people in a relationship live under the same roof at once. But what really is a cell of society in this country, and is a Swedish marriage so unusual?

Family in Sweden

There is an opinion that the Swedes managed to create “socialism with a human face” in the field of family relations, while someone, on the contrary, believes that it is in this country that the institution of the family is undergoing complete degradation. But in any case, the Swedish family deserves special attention and is of interest.

The first thing worth noting is a very free attitude to the marriage union.

Most modern families live without a stamp in their passport, preferring a civil marriage to an official one. Today in Sweden there are 2 types of such relations:

1. "Samba"- the union of a man and a woman living together. In this case, the couple registers their relationship with the tax office and only after that they begin to run a joint household.
2. "Serb"- guest marriage A man and a woman do not live under the same roof, but spend some time together.

Both options are essentially a form of family relationship, but the property remains separate. Also, in both cases, couples can have children.

Families in Sweden are created at a rather late age - after 30 years. In addition, the country has a very high percentage of divorces as a result of adultery. And due to the fact that marriages are not formalized, parting does not take much time - the husband and wife simply go to different apartments.

How to register a Swedish marriage

Despite the fact that official marriages in Sweden are not held in high esteem, some couples still decide to formalize their relationship by law.

First, the groom goes to lokala skattemyndighten in order to obtain a marriage license.

After that, the couple is invited for an interview. If the bride or groom are foreigners, they will definitely need an interpreter.

At this meeting, both parties must sign a document stating that they have reached the age of majority, are of sound mind and are not married. Only after that they are issued 2 permissions to create a family. One is for official registration, the other is for a church wedding.

Marriages of three or four - the so-called Swedish families, although they exist, are not supported by law. Simply put, only two people can be in an official or civil marriage, and the third (fourth and so on) can cohabit with them without an official signature.

swedish wedding

Most official marriages in Sweden take place in churches, and the wedding takes place according to the American model.

First of all, the newlyweds go to the temple, the priest reads the oath of allegiance and, after mutual agreement, the newlyweds exchange rings. After that, they go to a small room, where a government official officially registers their marriage.

The guests are waiting for the newly-made husband and wife at the exit of the church. It is there that the ceremony of congratulations and shedding of "manna from heaven" begins.

After that, everyone goes to a banquet, where drinks and light snacks are already prepared on the tables.

swedish divorce

Divorce in Sweden is a simple and inexpensive process.

A couple who decides to end the family relationship must file an application with the judicial authority in the place of residence. If the marriage was concluded in Sweden, but both spouses live abroad, the issue will be dealt with by the capital Themis.

If the divorce is by mutual consent, the couple fills out a document called gemensam ansökan om skilsmässa.

In the event that one of the spouses is against the dissolution of the marriage, a stämningsansökan must be submitted to the court.

The registration fee when submitting documents is a little more than 100 US dollars.

If there are no young children in the family, and the husband and wife have agreed on divorce issues, the whole process will take only a few weeks.

In the event that the breakup of relations occurs unilaterally, also if the family has children under the age of 16, the period of divorce proceedings can be extended to six months.

Expert opinion

Maria Lokshina

Family law expert since 2010

In Sweden, for a divorce, they do not always turn to lawyers. Since 2003, the so-called divorce portal has been operating in the country. Employees of the company prepare all the necessary papers, and the spouses are only required to answer a few questions.

Of course, if there are money disputes or disagreements about raising children, it is best to seek legal advice from lawyers.

The unwillingness of one of the spouses to divorce is not the reason for refusal by Themis.

Same sex marriages allowed or not

Sweden is one of the most liberal countries in terms of the LGBT community. And since 2009, there has been a law allowing same-sex marriages.

The state act that touches on this topic is called the Sexually Neutral Marriage Act.

Today it is not uncommon for homosexual couples from other countries to come to Sweden to marry legally. True, it is recognized only in the territory of a European country.

In addition, the Lutheran Church today also recognizes such relationships. And not only traditional couples, but also lesbian and homosexual families can get married in the temple. Sweden became the first country in which the church recognized same-sex marriages, and this despite the fact that almost all denominations have an extremely negative attitude towards homosexual unions.

Since 2002, same-sex families in Sweden have also been allowed to adopt children, both from their fellow citizens and from abroad.

Swedish family traditions

The standard Swedish family is a pair of parents and two children. Moreover, if earlier patriarchy reigned in the country, now spouses are equal in marriage. At the same time, women are well protected socially.

In most families, both spouses work. It is also accepted here that the husband and wife have separate bank accounts. The relationship of the Swedes can be called financially independent. It is not at all surprising when a husband and wife, having come to a restaurant, divide the bill in half or pay each for their own dish.

Household chores are also on the shoulders of both spouses. And there is nothing shameful in the fact that a man will wash the dishes, and a woman will fix the faucet in the bathroom.

As for children, they are brought up as free individuals. Corporal punishment is punishable by law. Therefore, often children can afford unnecessary whims.

But the main family value is still a respectful attitude towards each other.

Family law in Sweden

To create a family, Swedish law allows from the age of 18. The marriageable age may be lowered under certain circumstances and only with the permission of the competent authorities.

Each spouse has the right to dispose of his property independently and must pay personal debts himself. At the same time, both the wife and the husband are obliged to contribute to the welfare of the family.

All property acquired in an official marriage is also considered common and is divided in half upon divorce. This paragraph does not apply to civil marriages, where each of the spouses owns exclusively their own property, unless another agreement or marriage contract is concluded.

Children in Swedish families have the right to a good upbringing. Moreover, the law prohibits any corporal punishment. The child may call the police and "complain" about mom or dad. Those, in turn, may receive an administrative penalty.

When parents divorce, children have the right to independently decide with whom they would like to live - with their mother or father. Parents have the same right to participate in the upbringing of their children. In the event of a divorce, the spouse living separately must pay child support.

Despite the fact that Sweden is one of the most liberal countries in terms of family law, both parties in a marriage are equally protected by law.

Somewhere, having heard the phrase "Swedish family", associations with traditional parents and a couple of blond children rarely arise. Most often, such a term is used as a description of several (usually three, but always more than two) sexual partners living under the same roof. So, what is the "Swedish family" really and where did this name come from?

Main version

The emancipation of the Swedes is known in many countries and mainly due to the fact that since 1955 compulsory sexual education has been introduced in their schools. Nowhere else in the world did this even occur when the inhabitants of northern Europe decided to teach their children the wisdom of carnal pleasures. Of course, if you look at the modern Swedish family in reality, you will never say that it can evoke such associations.

In Sweden, families traditionally consist of two parents of different sexes and children, and such comparisons even annoy many, or at least

conjectures

In fact, the concept of "Swedish family" (what it means is known to almost everyone) has many variants of appearance. Among the guesses of ordinary people, the version with the attribution of lovers to the family is most often found, because often women who are dissatisfied with the financial situation of their official husband resort to the financial assistance of another man. A similar situation can develop on the other hand, when a wealthy man is able to support several women and, in general, uses this.

Most often, such situations arise among celebrities and legal spouses are often aware of the love affairs of their “believers”.

Real option

In fact, one cannot say about the Swedish family as an unconventional or overly liberated unit of society. The reason for the appearance in the life of one of the spouses of a new partner is the banal lack of money for the legal dissolution of the marriage. The fact is that in Sweden this process is very expensive and most citizens simply do not marry or, if necessary, leave, remain married to one partner, and in fact cohabit with another.

In such situations, it is important for both parents to respect the rights of the child, so children are not divided there, as is customary in our country, for example. The child lives alternately with each parent and all of them are obliged to communicate well so as not to injure him. That is, a divorced Swedish family (what it really is now clear) is forced to play the role of full-fledged parents and communicate well with the new family of each spouse. For many citizens, this is at least strange, which reinforces the rumors that the Swedes are not traditional.

First representatives

The expression "Swedish family" originates from the 70s, when the youth of this particular country began to oppose traditional families, and openly cohabit with several sexual partners. Interestingly, by that time such “triangles” were not an innovation, and the first officially registered case of such cohabitation occurred in Spain at the end of the 18th century.

At that time, this case was simply outrageous, because in a Catholic conservative country such behavior was unacceptable and all participants in the “triangle” could be executed if they were not the ruling dynasty. Yes, yes, the king and queen took the young guardsman into their arms, who later was awarded a bunch of titles. One of them was even invented especially for him - the Prince of the World. Apparently, the prince had the strength and imagination to please both spouses with his presence for such a long time.

Of course, the guardsman was not seen in direct contact with the king, but the ruler himself spoke of him very tenderly and affectionately.

The appearance of the term in Russia

For the first time the concept of "Swedish family" in Russia was mentioned back in the 70s of the last century. It was then that foreign artists, films and magazines began to make their way into the expanses of the USSR closed from the outside world. Just at that time, in Sweden itself, the so-called communes were popular, consisting of several sexual partners of representatives of the "leftist" youth. At the same time, in the vastness of the Soviet state, free-form magazines and films became widespread, which reinforced the myth of the sexual emancipation of the Swedes and the widespread distribution of such non-traditional families in Europe.

At that time, popular artists who, in their understanding, were also representatives of the "Swedish family" were able to strengthen the association at that time. Everyone already knew what it was, because they sang beautiful songs about love and consisted of two loving married couples. Yes, everything is true, only these couples still changed partners once, so it’s impossible to call them true conservatives.

Conclusion

Today, almost everyone knows the answer to the question of what a “Swedish family” is, only this information is based on stereotypes and associations of past years. Now the bulk of the inhabitants of this European country is no different from their conservative neighbors, and such communes are found in isolated cases. By the way, today you can meet them in almost every country.

The very concept of a "Swedish family" is a symbol of permissiveness, not only in our country. In almost every state there is a certain expression meaning inappropriate behavior with a reference to Sweden. So in the UK, the cohabitation of several sexual partners (necessarily more than two) is called the "Swedish sin", and such a family is perceived as a symbol of debauchery.

Andersson is one of the most common Swedish surnames, which is found with enviable regularity in the address books of all 290 municipalities in the country. More precisely, surnames for an ordinary Swedish family cannot be invented.

Mom let her name be Maria: it was this name that was very popular in 1969, when she was born. I must say, this is one of the most popular female names in Sweden in general, so do not be surprised if it appears here often. Dad - born in 1971. We will call him Fredrik - in the early 1970s, it was this male name that was especially common in Sweden. According to statistics, the average Swedish family has 1.55 children, but we will round this number up to two. So, before us are the average Swedish children: a 13-year-old girl named Julia and her younger brother William, who was barely 10. Here is the most typical Swedish family. Although no, perhaps not quite so.

In the case of the Andersson family, Maria is older than Fredrik, but in general this option is less typical for Sweden, since most Swedish husbands are slightly older than their wives.

On maternity leave

By the way, do you know that they are entitled to paid leave of up to 480 days? When Julia and William were little, their mother spent 10 months on maternity leave, and their father - 8 months. How did Fredrik's colleagues at work react to this? No way. Now, if he had not used his legal right to maternity leave, then his colleagues would have been surprised for sure. Equality between men and women is so firmly established that sharing maternity leave for both parents in Sweden has become the norm.

When Maria and Fredrik return to work, their children will go to kindergarten, and then to, like the vast majority of little Swedes. This will cost parents a maximum of 1,425 crowns (≈132 euros) per month per child, which is only slightly more than the amount of the monthly allowance they receive from the state. This enables moms and dads to combine work with family life and caring for children.

This text mentions the average salary and price level in Sweden. In October 2019, 10 Swedish kronor (SEK) was equal to 92 euro cents.

Two children per family is the norm

More than half of all Swedish families with children have two children. Only slightly more than 18-20% of families raise three children. Families with many children are a very unusual phenomenon for Sweden. Parents who decide to have a fourth child are no more than 10% of all families with children.

Don't rush to get married

In 2014, only about a third of Swedes – 3.3 million – were married. Partly because many couples in Sweden simply do not consider it necessary to register their union officially. “Samba” is more common, this concept implies that partners simply live together without legitimizing the relationship. Another reason for such a low rate of married people among the population can be considered, perhaps, the well-known love of the Swedes for personal freedom, not constrained by marriage.

Did you work well? Have a good rest!

A typical Swede, like our Fredrik, for example, works in manufacturing, earning an average of 33,305 crowns (≈3073 euros) per month. Maria, like most able-bodied women in Sweden, works in the healthcare sector, where the average salary is around 24,176 kroons (≈2,230 euros).

For most Swedes, at least 25 working days of paid leave per year is a matter of course. Needless to say, Sweden is known worldwide for its social security system, which entitles the Swedes to a fairly long vacation, high quality medical care, and good pension protection. All this has been made possible thanks to a long history of cooperation between trade unions and employers to improve labor market conditions.

Most Swedes go on a long trip. Fredrik and Maria are among them. Julia and William, like other schoolchildren, are on vacation, which lasts about 2.5 months. Tourists who come to Sweden in the summer months have the impression that everything, and the Swedes themselves, went as far as possible - to the sea or to resort areas. Which, in general, is true. Fredrik, Maria and their children love to spend their summer holidays in Gotland, one of the most picturesque islands in Sweden.

Average monthly living expenses in Sweden

Sweden is experiencing a crisis in the institution of the family. This is the result of many years of policy of the government of the Social Democratic Party, the goal of which was to gain complete control over society.

Wealthy society dying alone

Sweden is known for its superconcerns (Volvo, Ericsson, Ikea, Saab) and large-scale social programs aimed at supporting vulnerable sections of society. The share of gross domestic product spent, for example, on social security for the elderly and elderly is the highest in the world. There is free medical care. About 80% of income taxes go to finance health care.

But there are other statistics as well. In the Swedish capital Stockholm, 90% of the dead are cremated, 45% of the urns are not taken away by relatives. The vast majority of funerals are held "without ceremony". Crematorium workers do not know whose remains are specifically burned, because the urns have only an identification number. For economic reasons, the energy obtained from the burned urns is optionally included in the heating of one's own home or in the heating system of the city.

The lack of funeral ceremonies is only part of a general trend of breaking sensual and emotional ties in many Swedish families. The editor of the Swedish publication Nyliberalen Heinrich Beike, explaining the reasons for the phenomenon, notes: “The family became the target of attacks by the socialists, since by its nature it acts as an organization that is an alternative to state institutions of guardianship. The family is meant to protect the individual. When he has problems, for example, lack of money or poor health, a person can always turn to relatives for help. The Swedish state has been striving for decades to break these family relationships and ties - helping each person directly, and thus making him dependent on himself.

the right course

It is hard to believe, but even before the beginning of the thirties of the last century, Sweden was a miserable agrarian country, whose subjects emigrated en masse in search of a better life. Sweden managed to get rich during the Second World War thanks to its cautious policy of "double standards". Despite formal neutrality, it provided loans to fascist Germany, supplied its own weapons and was the largest supplier of iron ore for the needs of the German military industry. Under the leadership of social democracy, a series of reforms were implemented in the 1940s and 50s, which together laid the foundations of the Swedish welfare state. The long period of Social Democrat hegemony was interrupted by the economic crisis of the early 1970s, and since 1976 cabinet changes have become more frequent.

Today, the opposition Social Democracy has a new leader in Stefan Leuven, 55, head of a metal workers' union who worked as a welder. Interestingly, in Sweden, famous for its high level of education and its availability (80% of universities are financed from the state budget), Stefan Lüven became the fourth leader of the party without a higher education. Göran Persson was even prime minister (1996-2006). Apparently, in Sweden they do not attach much importance to the educational level of politicians (according to studies, it is the lowest in Europe). Here it is considered normal that the Minister of Agriculture is a farmer, and the Minister of Health is a doctor. The government (and this is enshrined in the Constitution) only determines the direction, and the central government agencies govern the country.

It becomes more and more difficult for them to do this. The general economic crisis and their own problems also influence. Sweden is getting old. Average life expectancy is 78.6 years for men and 83.2 years for women. The share of the population aged 80 years and over reached the highest rate among the EU member states - 5.3%. Of the 9.3 million people in Sweden, 18% are over the age of 65. According to forecasts, by 2030 their share will increase to 23%.

“If we want our pension to be equal to our present in the future, we have to work longer,” Swedish Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt said at a Nordic forum on February 9, 2012 in Stockholm. “Given the decline in the birth rate, it is necessary to retire at the age of 75, otherwise we will repeat the scenario of Greece.”

plastic parents

In Sweden, every fourth child has roots outside of it (data from the official bulletin (www.sweden.se). Most often they come from Iraq or the former Yugoslavia. A whole generation of such Swedes has already grown up. Therefore, a wide variety of nationalities and races are familiar here.

Of the children born in Sweden, 60% are illegitimate. 20% are raised by one parent. Young people are in no hurry to formalize relationships - they “get used to it” in civil marriages, called sambo - when couples live together, and serbo - when they live separately. For the number of registrants annually
38 thousand legalized relationships - 31 thousand divorces. On average, each of the spouses has three marriages, which means that the child has a huge number of relatives and several parents. They are called "plastic parents". The state even finances studies that should prove the positive impact of this type of relationship on children: moving from one parent to another after another divorce, children gain life experience and experience of social relationships that will be useful to them in adulthood.

Since the addresses “stepmother” or “stepfather” are associated with not very pleasant associations (they also know the story of Cinderella here), the Swedes decided to use the substitute definitions “parent one” and “parent two”. It is also established for reasons of gender equality. The destruction of stereotypes about the role of men and women in society is the main task of the nationwide program of preschool education. Methods sometimes seem too radical to the rest of the world. So, a kindergarten opened in 2010 in Sodermalm, a district of Stockholm, became a sensation. The staff of the institution replaced “he” and “she”, in Swedish, respectively, “han” and “hon”, in addressing children, with the genderless word “hen”, which is not in the classical language, but is used by homosexuals. Weaning from “gender stereotypes”, instead of the usual fairy tales, children are read books in which, for example, two male giraffes were very worried that they could not have children until they found an abandoned crocodile egg.

Swedish family

According to the Swedish Association for Sexual Equality (RFSL), more than 40,000 children in Sweden have homosexual parents (or one parent). When homosexual marriages were legalized in the country in 1995, the parliament approved that these would be purely civil marriages, and they would not be consecrated by the church. However, homosexuals also wanted to have this opportunity. The first concession was made: they were blessed, but without witnesses, and they were denied prayer. But the homosexuals wanted the full ceremony and the entire Mendelssohn. In 1998, a pan-European gay parade was held in Sweden. The exhibition of photographer Elizabeth Olson, who depicted Christ and his apostles as homosexuals, also became a sensation. The exhibition was very popular, naturally, especially among gays. One of the places where it took place was the pulpit of the Lutheran church.

But real battles flared up in 2003-2004 after the speech of Pastor Oke Green, who in his sermon condemned homosexual relationships, calling them sinful. He quoted passages of Scripture, arguing that the Bible very precisely defines homosexuality as a sin. To which they answered from the other camp: “The Bible did not descend to us from heaven, in itself is not God's sign, does not answer all our questions. The issues that were relevant at the time the Bible was written are not our issues.” For "disrespect for the sexual minority," the pastor was sentenced by the Court of First Instance to a month in prison. The court of second instance acquitted him. In 2005, the case reached the Supreme Court, which found the pastor not guilty. This caused a protest of gays, and threats continue to be heard from them against the pastor.

There will be more homosexual families, the RFSL organization foresees. This is facilitated by the adoption by the Swedish Parliament of the law on artificial insemination of lesbian couples. By law, lesbian women have the right to in vitro fertilization at the expense of the state.

Interestingly, the RFSL report also informs that every third case of violence in Sweden occurs in a lesbian family. And although there is where to turn in such a situation, the employees of institutions do not fit in the head that women can beat each other, because it is believed that by nature they are not aggressive. The problem of violence exists in male marriages.

“There is a huge change in mentality and a change in traditions is required. The traditional form of the family does not correspond to the realities of our time. New family relationships are needed, - from an interview with the youth branch of the Swedish Green Party, Elina Aberg, to the Polish edition of Wprost. “In our party, we talk about, for example, polygamous relationships as socially acceptable.” The phenomenon for Sweden is not new. In the wake of the sexual revolution of the last century, there was already the experience of young people living in common communes, which in Swedish are called “collectives”.

Untouchables

The Swedish state took over almost complete control over the upbringing of children. High taxes make it impossible to support a family on a single wage, and therefore, as a rule, both parents work, and the child is in school or other public care during the day.

The Swedish government has created a special ombudsman institution to protect the rights and interests of children. There are a number of organizations: BRIS (Children's Rights in Society) - a duty telephone and electronic line for children and adolescents; Friends ("Friends") - help if peers offend, etc.

Since 1979 there has been an absolute ban on corporal punishment of children. Parents cannot with impunity slap a child on the head, pull his ear or raise his voice at him. Beating a child is punishable by 10 years in prison. Even from kindergarten, children are informed in detail about their rights and the need to report such incidents to the police. And they use it. In a conflict between the interest of the child and the interest of the parent, the state takes the side of the child.

The story of a teenage girl who accused her stepfather of beating and sexual harassment received loud publicity. 12-year-old Agnetha was just angry with him for putting the kittens to sleep, and she wanted to keep them. She contacted the police after instructing her three-year-old younger sister what to say. On the basis of testimony, the stepfather was arrested and convicted. The mother, who did not believe her daughter, was deprived of the right of parental custody. Agnetha was transferred to a foster family. Three months later, the girl realized that she had done wrong, tried to return her application and release her stepfather. But the legal machine is already in motion. In addition, no one took the girl's repentance seriously, because the victims of incest very often refuse their testimony. It got to the point that the “victim” began to write to various authorities, in particular to the Prosecutor General, where she described in detail the whole story, that her stepfather was innocent, that she had invented everything, explained why. But the prosecutor also did not intervene.

The right to raise children is denied not only to parents, but also to teachers. Until the eighth grade, students are not given grades, those who fail are not left for the second year, and, of course, no one is expelled from school. Students say "you" to the teacher and they are not required to respond to the teacher's greetings. Teachers complain that it is hard to work in the classrooms because of the chaos, noise and aggression in the classroom.

Dictatorship of the social

In Swedish law, there is no concept of parental authority, both in the domestic and in the legal sense. There is no category of “parental right”, there is a “right of custody and responsibility for the child”, which, according to the law, is equally borne by parents and the state. But the state believes that it is better able to patronize and educate, and therefore interferes in the family educational process. The main institution of this kind is the Central Board of Health and Welfare, which in Sweden is called "social". Every year, an average of 12,000 children are taken away from their parents. They do it with good intentions. The pretext can be "mistakes in education", "mental underdevelopment of parents" and even "excessive guardianship."

So, Maryana Zigstroem was deprived of parental rights, because she was “too protective” of her son Daniel, who was ill with epilepsy. The boy passed from family to family, his condition worsened. Daniel wrote about 40 letters to his mother asking for help, she turned to various social and government organizations, but to no avail. The son died because during the attack, the next guardian simply did not know how to help him. Maryana Zigstroem has charged the state. Lost in all instances. Moreover, the state obliged the woman to reimburse legal expenses in the amount of 1.5 million kroons.

On this occasion, the well-known Scandinavian writer and journalist of Polish origin, Maciej Zaremba, who was imbued with the story of Maryana Zigstroy and appealed to justice from the pages of Swedish publications to no avail, said in his hearts: “Calling Sweden a state of law is a“ gloomy joke. He also noted that the Swedish state, which took over the responsibilities of the family in the last century, is no longer able to perform these functions today. Due to lack of money, not only care centers are closed, but also schools and kindergartens. “And when the state model does not function, one has to rethink family values ​​willy-nilly: it is known that a mother, in order to save her child, threw herself under a train. But so far, no social commission has done this.”

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