The concept of negativism: symptoms and features of manifestation in children and adults. Children's negativism: what to do with the little "Protestant" The child perceives everything negatively

A lot of problems for parents are also generated by such a form of behavior of children as negativism - expressed rejection of something, unmotivated and unreasonable resistance to the influence of other people. Negativism manifests itself as a form of protest of the child against the really existing or perceived as such unfavorable attitude towards him of adults or peers. This may be a protest, refusal to perform actions, instructions, requests, and even opposition to the influence of adults. Negativism can be expressed passively (by refusing to act) and actively (by actions "on the contrary"). In the first case, the child expresses his unwillingness to fulfill the request or demand of the elders, and in the second he acts in the opposite way compared to what the adult requires of him. Negativism is also episodic and persistent, which gradually becomes a character trait.

However, a negative form of behavior can also be characteristic of children as a psychological norm during the period of “crises” of age development. The first of them is noted at the age of two or three years, when the child has a need for independence and self-affirmation. It manifests itself at a level accessible to him: he violates prohibitions, says “no” if they expect “yes” from him, protests against excessive guardianship (“I myself!”) And generally does everything in defiance. Active manifestations of protest and self-will are inherent in children who are more energetic and proud.

In a teenager, negative forms of behavior express the need for self-assertion even more sharply. And if the parents do not want to recognize his rights to independence and respect, if they cannot rationally change their treatment of him, he will retain negativism in relation to them for a long time, or he may turn into habitual stubbornness, i.e., unmotivated resistance to outside influences.

In some cases, negativism manifests itself as a protest against the injustice of adults or as a reaction to resentment. Most often this happens when a child is pampered on a daily basis, caressed excessively, and then suddenly strict requirements are placed on him. Even fair and not very high demands in such cases cause resentment in the child, and his negative behavior acts as a psychological defense.

In less energetic children, negativism can be observed as a reaction to psychological difficulty. For example, the unusual attention of unfamiliar people for many children is a super-strong irritant and causes a state of inhibition, from which no requests, much less reproaches and threats, can bring them out until the situation changes. This inhibition is erroneously called stubbornness. Negativism here is apparent: the child is temporarily deprived of the ability to perform the required action, even if it is habitual and desirable for him (sing, read poetry, say "thank you", "sorry", etc.). However, this situational reaction of inhibition can become the beginning of selective negativism, i.e. cause a negative attitude towards certain persons, actions and phenomena associated with this situation, for example, to someone who caused discomfort, with whom they compare not in favor of the child, suggesting to him thought and feeling that he is worse.

Among the most common causes of negativism, first of all, are pedagogical mistakes of parents, disrespectful attitude towards the personality of the child. When making demands on a child, parents do not always take into account his mental state: overload with impressions, overwork, affective experiences that cause lethargy. Verbal influence in these cases loses its usual strength: the child does not respond to words, especially to shouting, irritation, threats, etc. towards the strengthening and development of its independence. However, often adults try to "fix" the child with rude suppression of his attempts and punishments. This leads to the consolidation of negative forms of behavior and gives rise to the formation of negativism as a character trait.

It should be borne in mind that a negative attitude always arises on the basis of emotional distress, therefore negativism cannot be eliminated by strict requirements and punishments. It takes time for the trace of an adverse effect to weaken, and for nothing to reinforce it. In the future, it is necessary to change the direction and tactics of influencing the child (teenager), taking into account his capabilities and age characteristics. The most pedagogically justified means of preventing and overcoming negativism include benevolent relations in the family, a sensitive, careful attitude to the child's experiences, the elimination of cases of injustice, reasonable exactingness and a respectful form of addressing him in the process of interaction.

In psychology, negativism means a person’s resistance to any external influence, devoid of rational prerequisites, even contrary to his own well-being.

In a more general sense, this concept refers to a generally negative perception of the world, the desire to do everything in defiance of requests and expectations.

In pedagogy, the term "negativism" is applied to children who are characterized by an oppositional manner of behaving with people who should be authority for them (teachers, parents).

Active and passive form of resistance

It is customary to distinguish two main forms of negativism: active and passive. Passive negativism is expressed in the absolute disregard for demands and requests.

With an active form, a person shows aggression and sharply resists any attempts to influence him. As one of the subspecies of active negativism, one can single out the paradoxical one, when a person does everything intentionally the other way around, even if it diverges from his real desires.

Separately, there are purely physiological manifestations of this state, when a person refuses to eat, practically does not move, does not speak.

Related concepts

Negativism is included in the trio of manifestations of the child's protest behavior complex.

The second component is stubbornness, which can be considered a form of negativism, with the only amendment that stubbornness in any matter has its own specific reasons, while negativism is an unmotivated resistance. What unites these phenomena is that both one and the other arise on the basis of purely subjective sensations of a person.

One of the closest to negativism (as a psychiatric term) phenomenon is mutism. This is a condition in which a person avoids all communication, both through speech and through gestures. But, unlike negativism, mutism is mainly the result of a strong shock.

The third component is obstinacy, which differs from stubbornness in that it is not directed at a specific person, but in general at the system of education, the development of events, and so on.

Complex of causes and factors

As a psychiatric diagnosis, negativism is most often observed in the development (schizophrenia, agitation and stupor), autism (including senile) and some types of depression.

When negativism is meant in a broader context, then among the causes of its occurrence it is customary to name first of all frustration caused by prolonged and very strong dissatisfaction with life circumstances and the environment surrounding a person. In turn, this frustration creates strong psychological discomfort, to compensate for which a person resorts to negativistic behavior.

Another possible cause of resistance may be difficulties with communication in a person. In this case, such a state arises as a hypercompensatory reaction to one's own communication problems.

In the form of violent stubbornness, negativism arises as a response to attempts by external influences that are at odds with the personal needs and desires of a person. Such a reaction is due to a person's need for his own opinion, self-expression, control over his own life.

Relationship with age

Age crises that characterize the transition from one life period to another are often accompanied by changes in character and thinking, frequent mood swings.

At this time, a person becomes conflicted and even aggressive to a certain extent, a pessimistic view of the world around him prevails. Negativism is almost always a symptom of such a crisis, which manifests itself in stressful situations, when a person is as vulnerable and defenseless as possible.

Critical ages

Throughout life, a person experiences several age-related crises, most of which occur before the age of 20:

• crisis of the newborn;
• crisis of the 1st year of life;
• crisis 3 years;
• crisis of 6-7 years (“school crisis”);
• crisis of adolescence (from about 12 to 17 years).

In the adult life of a person, there are only two critical periods associated with the transition from one age to another:

• middle age crisis;
• stress associated with retirement.

Pathological resistance in children of 3 years

Naturally, negativism is not characteristic of the first two periods, but already at the age of three, when children begin to show a desire for independence, parents are faced with the first manifestations of children's stubbornness and categoricalness.

That is why this period is often called "I myself", since this name best describes the state of the child at three years old. The child wants to perform most of the actions on his own, but at the same time, the desires do not coincide with the possibilities, which leads to frustration, which, as already mentioned above, is one of the main causes of this state.

At the same time, one should not confuse negativism and simple disobedience of the child. When the baby refuses to do what he does not want, this is normal. Negativism, on the other hand, manifests itself in situations where the child refuses to perform some actions precisely in the event that adults have suggested this to him.

View from the outside

If we talk about a psychiatric term, then in this case, negativism itself acts as a symptom of a certain number of diseases. At the same time, depending on the form (active or passive), it can manifest itself both in defiant disobedience and in passive resistance to any doctor's requests, which in this case is his most important feature.

As for negativism from a pedagogical or general psychological point of view, the main external manifestations in this case will be speech and behavioral signs:

• difficulties with communication, interaction with others, even the closest people;
• conflict;
• refusal to compromise;
• skepticism and distrust bordering on paranoia.

In the case of adults, do not confuse negativism and nihilism. Nihilism is a worldview position, and, despite the fact that its external manifestations are similar to those of negativism, it is a conscious choice of a person, while people with pathological stubbornness behave in this way unconsciously.

How does it feel on the inside

The feelings of the person himself are quite difficult to describe, primarily because such people are rarely aware of their condition. like abnormal.

The internal state will be characterized by an extreme degree of confusion in one's own desires and needs, conflicts with oneself, and sometimes auto-aggression.

The passive form in this case can be felt as a lethargy of consciousness, an extreme degree of indifference in relation to all surrounding things and people.

What should you do if it affects your family?

If it seems to you that one of your loved ones has signs of negativity in behavior, then, first of all, you should contact a psychologist or psychotherapist to resolve the internal problems that caused this condition, since such pathological stubbornness in itself is only a consequence Therefore, in order to overcome it, it is necessary to work with the root cause.

Among the methods of psychotherapy for preschoolers and younger schoolchildren, game therapy, fairy tale therapy, etc. are most suitable.

For negative adolescents and adults, cognitive-behavioral therapy has proven to be the best. It is also important not to forget about your own attitude towards your loved ones. Psychotherapy will be most successful only if you work on this problem as a team.

In order to correct negative behavior and, if possible, to avoid any conflicts, it is necessary to show ingenuity. This is especially true for children.

It is necessary to exclude any psychological pressure on the child, in no case should there be threats or physical punishment - this will only aggravate the situation. You will have to use the so-called "soft power" - to negotiate, adjust, make compromises.

It is advisable to generally avoid situations in which conflict may arise.

Your main task is to ensure that the child begins to follow positive patterns of communication and interaction with others. Do not forget to praise him every time he does something good, makes concessions, helps you, communicates calmly with other people. In overcoming negativism, the mechanism of positive reinforcement plays a crucial role.

Avoiding is the best, but sometimes difficult way out

In order to prevent the development of such a condition in children and the elderly, it is first necessary to surround them with care and attention.

It is important to ensure that the socialization and integration of children into society takes place as successfully and smoothly as possible, and communication skills are not lost among the elderly.

You can’t put pressure on people (of any age) and impose your point of view on something, force them to do what they don’t want.

It is necessary to ensure that there is no feeling of frustration, especially carefully one must observe one's own state. Frustration is the first step towards negativism.

The most important thing to remember about all of the above is that negativism is not a cause, but a consequence. You can get rid of it only by getting rid of the problem that caused it.

It is also important to remember and not confuse the term, which in psychology and pedagogy denotes irrational resistance to any influence with simple stubbornness and disobedience characteristic of all children.

The behavior of a person with negativism can be successfully corrected. In this case, it is advisable to consult a professional doctor.

Negativism- unmotivated behavior of the subject, manifested in actions that are deliberately contrary to the requirements and expectations of other individuals and social groups.

Negativism can be seen as a form of protest behavior. The child in this case does not want to do something just because he was asked to do it; this is the reaction of the child not to the content of the action, but to the proposal itself, which comes from adults. Typical manifestations of children's negativism are causeless tears, rudeness, insolence or isolation, alienation, touchiness. "Passive" negativism is expressed in a tacit refusal to carry out instructions, demands from adults. With "active" negativism, children perform actions that are opposite to those required, strive at all costs to insist on their own. In both cases, children become uncontrollable: neither threats nor requests have any effect on them. They steadfastly refuse to do what until recently they performed unquestioningly. The reason for this behavior often lies in the fact that the child accumulates an emotionally negative attitude towards the demands of adults, which impede the satisfaction of the child's need for independence. Thus, negativism is often the result of improper upbringing, a consequence of the child's protest against the violence committed against him.

It is a mistake to confuse negativism with perseverance. The child's persistent desire to achieve a goal, in contrast to negativism, is a positive phenomenon. This is the most important characteristic of voluntary behavior. With negativism, the motive of the child's behavior is solely the desire to insist on one's own, and perseverance is determined by a genuine interest in achieving the goal.

Obviously, with the advent of negativism, the contact between the child and the adult is disrupted, as a result of which education becomes impossible. Due to the fact that adults constantly impede the fulfillment of the child's own decisions and desires, there inevitably occurs a gradual weakening of these desires themselves, and, consequently, a weakening of the desire for independence.

To a certain extent, negativism also integrates other forms of protest, including stubbornness.

Stubbornness- noted L.S. Vygotsky is such a reaction of a child when he insists on something, not because he really wants it, but because He it demanded... The motive for stubbornness is that the child is bound by his original decision.

The reasons for stubbornness are varied.. Stubbornness can arise as a result of an irresolvable conflict between adults, for example, parents, their opposition to each other without concessions, compromises and any changes. As a result, the child is so saturated with the atmosphere of stubbornness that he begins to behave in a similar way, without seeing it as

nothing bad. Most adults who complain about the stubbornness of children are characterized by an individualistic orientation of interests, fixation on one point of view; such adults are "grounded", they lack imagination and flexibility. In this case, the stubbornness of children exists only together with the need of adults to achieve unquestioning obedience at all costs. The following pattern is also interesting: the higher the intelligence of adults, the less often children are defined as stubborn, since such adults, showing creativity, find more options for resolving contentious issues.

Stubbornness is often defined as the "spirit of contradiction". Such stubbornness is usually accompanied by feelings of guilt and worries about their behavior, but, despite this, it occurs again and again, as it is painful. The reason for such stubbornness is a long-term emotional conflict, stress that cannot be resolved by the child on his own.

Negative, pathologically unconscious, blind, senseless stubbornness. Stubbornness is positive, normal, if the child is driven by a conscious desire to express his own opinion, a reasonable protest against the infringement of his rights and vital needs. Such stubbornness, or, in other words, "the struggle for personal independence", is mainly characteristic of active, naturally energetic children with a heightened sense of self-worth. The ability to behave independently of circumstances and even contrary to them, guided by one's own goals, is an important personality trait along with another, opposite to it, the desire to obey circumstances, rules, and act according to a model.

Closely related to negativism and stubbornness is such a form of behavior as obstinacy . Obstinacy differs from negativism and stubbornness in that it is impersonal, that is, it is directed not so much against a specific guiding adult as against the norms of upbringing, against the way of life imposed on the child.

Many young children tend to be aggressive. The experiences and disappointments of the child, which seem small and insignificant to adults, turn out to be very acute and difficult for the child to bear precisely because of the immaturity of his nervous system, therefore, the most satisfactory solution for the child may also be a physical reaction, especially when the child's ability to express himself is limited.

There are two most common causes of aggression in children. Firstly, it is the fear of being injured, offended, attacked, or injured. The stronger the aggression, the stronger the fear behind it. Secondly, it is an experienced resentment, or mental trauma, or the attack itself. Very often, fear is generated by disturbed social relations between the child and the adults around him.

Aggressive called purposeful destructive behavior. Realizing aggressive behavior, the child contradicts the norms and rules of people's life in society, harms the "objects of attack" (animate and inanimate), causes physical damage to people and causes them psychological discomfort (negative experiences, a state of mental tension, depression, fear).

Aggressive actions of the child can act as a means to achieve a goal that is significant for him; as a way of psychological discharge, replacement of a blocked, unsatisfied need; as an end in itself, satisfying the need for self-realization and self-affirmation.

Aggressive behavior can be direct, that is, directly directed at an irritating object or displaced, when for some reason the child cannot direct aggression to the source of irritation and is looking for a safer object for discharge. (For example, a child directs aggressive actions not at an older brother who has offended him, but at a cat - he does not beat his brother, but tortures the cat.) Since aggressiveness directed outwards is condemned, the child may develop a mechanism for directing aggression towards himself (the so-called auto-aggression - self-humiliation, self-accusation).

Physical aggression is expressed in fights with other children, in the destruction of things and objects. The child tears books, scatters and breaks toys, throws them at children and adults, breaks the right things, sets them on fire. Such behavior, as a rule, is provoked by some dramatic event or the need for the attention of adults, other children.

Aggression does not necessarily manifest itself in physical actions. Some children are prone to verbal aggression (insult, tease, swear), which often hides an unmet need to feel strong, or a desire to recoup their own grievances.

The aggressiveness of the child is evidenced by the frequency of aggressive manifestations, as well as the intensity and inadequacy of reactions in relation to stimuli. The intensity and inadequacy of aggressive reactions largely depend on previous experience, on cultural norms and standards, on the reactivity of the nervous system, as well as on the perception and nature of the interpretation of various stimuli that can cause aggression. Children resorting to aggressive behavior are usually impulsive, irritable, quick-tempered; characteristic features of their emotional-volitional sphere are anxiety, emotional instability, weak ability to self-control, conflict, hostility.

It is obvious that aggression as a form of behavior is directly dependent on the whole complex of the child's personal qualities that determine, guide and ensure the implementation of aggressive behavior.

Aggressiveness makes it difficult for children to adapt to the conditions of life in society, in a team; communication with peers and adults. Aggressive behavior of the child causes, as a rule, the corresponding reaction of others, and this, in turn, leads to increased aggressiveness, i.e., a situation of a vicious circle arises.

A child with aggressive behavior needs special attention, because sometimes it turns out that he does not even know how kind and wonderful human relationships can be.

How to work with children showing the forms of aggression described above? If the psychologist comes to the conclusion that the child's aggression is not painful and does not suggest a more severe mental disorder, then the general tactic of work is to gradually teach the child to express his displeasure in socially acceptable forms. Constancy and consistency in the implementation of the type of behavior chosen by adults in relation to the child are important.

The first step on this path is to try restrain the aggressive impulses of the child immediately before their manifestation. With regard to physical aggression, this is easier to do than with verbal. You can stop the child with a shout, distract him with a toy or some kind of activity, create a physical obstacle to an aggressive act (take your hand away, hold it by the shoulders).

If the act of aggression could not be prevented, it is necessary to show the child that such behavior is absolutely unacceptable. A child who has shown an aggressive trick is subjected to severe condemnation, while his “victim” is surrounded by increased attention and care from an adult. Such a situation can clearly show the child that he himself only loses from such actions.

In case of destructive aggression an adult must necessarily briefly, but unambiguously express his dissatisfaction with such behavior. It is very useful every time to offer the child to eliminate the defeat he has caused. Most often, the child refuses, but sooner or later he may respond to the words: “You are already big and strong enough to destroy everything, so I am sure that you will help me clean up.” Cleaning as a punishment for deeds is ineffective; the adult's argument should be based on the conviction that the "big" boy should be responsible for his own affairs. If the child nevertheless helps to clean up, he must definitely hear a sincere “thank you”.

Verbal aggression is difficult to prevent, so you almost always have to act after the act of aggression has already happened. If the child’s offensive words are addressed to an adult, then it is advisable to ignore them altogether, but at the same time try to understand what feelings and experiences the child is behind them. Maybe he wants to experience a pleasant feeling of superiority over an adult, or maybe in anger he does not know a softer way to express his feelings. Sometimes adults can turn insults to a child into a comic skirmish, which will relieve tension and make the situation of a quarrel funny. If a child offends other children, then adults should advise them how to respond.

When working with aggressive children, you should always keep in mind that any manifestations of fear among others in front of a child's aggressive attack can only stimulate him. The ultimate goal of overcoming a child's aggressiveness is to make him understand that there are other ways to show power and attract an audience that are much more pleasant in terms of the response of others. It is very important for such children to experience the pleasure of demonstrating a new behavioral skill in front of a benevolent audience.

Kleynikova T. P. Children's negativism: signs and causes of its manifestation / T. P. Kleinikova // Scientific dialogue. - 2013. - No. 8 (20): Pedagogy. - S. 131-139.

UDC 37.013.77+159.922.736.3+37.013.21

Children's negativism: signs and causes of its manifestation

T. P. Kleynikova

The problem of children's negativism is considered from the standpoint of pedagogy, the signs and causes of its manifestation are revealed. The urgency of preventing negative manifestations in activities at the very early stage of development is highlighted. The necessity of developing a set of diagnostic methods to identify the causes of child negativism is emphasized.

Key words: children's negativism; capriciousness; stubbornness; causes of negative manifestations; mismatched parenting style; situational reflection; child-adult reciprocity; unmotivated behavior.

The problem of child disobedience is becoming more acute for parents and educators who are asking questions: what is the reason for such behavior of the child? What prompts him, until recently an obedient and accommodating baby, to protest so actively against the rules, requests and educational influences familiar and familiar to adults. Negative reactions begin to appear already at the very early stage of a child's development: from birth to 3 years. It is this age period that is characterized by the formation of the child's personality and contains a number of age-related crises. Therefore, it is very important at an early age to recognize the signs of a child's negativism in a timely manner, realizing its causes, in order to overcome the personal problems of communication between adults and children in the behavior and manifestation of personality in the future. The first acts of protest, according to L. S. Vygotsky, arise already during the crisis of the first year

life, when the first ideas of the child about himself are formed and the rudiments of self-consciousness appear, as an intuitive feeling of the Image-I [Anisimov, 2010, p. 8-11], when a child protests against forced socialization and the imposition of social attitudes and norms, to which he may not be ready yet (and this is increasingly not felt and understood by parents and teachers), or when he feels his calling, and therefore manifests his desires and intentions in other, possibly related, areas of activity, but not in those that are offered to him by adults. And then the insistent demands of adults here are most often a provocation of natural resistance to those actions that turn out to be unclaimed by the child himself. So, by the end of the first year of life, the child for the first time manifests “affects of his own personality” - the first stage in the development of the will [Shavyrina, 2010, p. 103].

An analysis of modern psychological and pedagogical literature makes it possible to identify the scientific definition of the concept of "children's negativism", as well as descriptions of the features of its manifestation. Most authors define children's negativism as unmotivated behavior of a child, manifested in actions contrary to the requirements, expectations, suggestions from other subjects of interaction (close adults, educators, peers) [NPS, 2005, p. 311; NPPS, 2010, p. 487; PS, 2003, p. 287; PSR, 1996, p. 61; PES, 2006, p. 262]. Based on the analysis of the definitions that form the methodological basis for the study of children's negativism, it is possible to derive a deeper and more meaningful concept of children's negativism. By children's negativism, we understand the state of health and behavior of the child, in which he unconsciously tries to resist the directive influences of adults or peers.

The reason for such opposition may be an unsatisfied need to take into account his desires for self-affirmation, to protect his I from intrusion into the boundaries of individual claims, unfavorable (that is, inadequate to the characteristics of his growth, development and psycho-emotional inclinations) influence from a close adult [NPS, 2005, p. 311; NPPS, 2010, p. 487; PS, 2003, p. 287; PSR, 1996, p. 61; PES, 2006, p. 262].

Signs of children's negativism, depending on the type of temperament, will be stubbornness, which, with a mismatched type of upbringing, develops into aggression, and capriciousness, which in this case turns into despondency and depression. By capriciousness, we mean a form of children's behavior that is expressed in opposition and resistance to the demands, advice, instructions of adults, in disobedience [BPS, 2005, p. 194]. By stubbornness we mean a form of a child's behavior determined by the motive of self-affirmation [BPS, 2005, p. 506].

Features of the manifestation of negativism are due to the type of temperament. The weak type of temperament is characterized by less intense and affective negative manifestations of the child, such as whims: crying, isolation, alienation, avoidance. For a strong type of temperament, stubbornness is characteristic, that is, more intense and affective negative manifestations of the child: rudeness, impulsively active denial, the desire to act contrary, hysterical reactions, aggressiveness. Children's negativism will manifest itself not only in interaction with adults or peers, but also in ordinary socially normative regime situations.

There are two main reasons for negative manifestations in the child's activity: firstly, a mismatch in the methods of educating adults responsible for the pedagogical process; secondly, inattention to the constructive and creative needs of the child, including the psychological and pedagogical incompetence of adults as an obstacle to his self-affirmation and independence.

Let us consider in more detail the causes of negative manifestations in the behavior of the child.

In each family, a certain complex of education objectively develops, which is far from always realized by adult family members, which manifests itself in the absence of conscious goal-setting, the formulation of tasks, the adequacy and consistency of the application of specific methods and methods of education, taking into account the personal and typological psychological characteristics of the child. The upbringing system is characterized by a certain style of upbringing, ha-

which can be characterized based on a combination of indicators according to the following criteria-scales [Markovskaya, 1999, p. 97-98]:

1) undemanding - demanding parent;

2) softness - the severity of the parent;

3) autonomy - control in relation to the child;

4) emotional distance - the emotional closeness of the child to the parent;

5) rejection - acceptance of the child by the parent;

6) cooperation - confrontation;

7) anxiety for the child - connivance;

8) inconsistency - the sequence of educational influences of the parent;

9) educational confrontation in the family;

10) satisfaction with the relationship of the child with the parent.

Assessment according to these criteria, in our opinion, can be expressed by the following characteristics: adequate and inadequate self-esteem (overestimated and underestimated), when adequate self-esteem will manifest itself with the constructive organization of child-parent relationships, while inadequate self-esteem will be due to the destructive organization of education and will certainly lead to the establishment of a mismatched style of education , conflict atmosphere in the family about the upbringing of the child. The child himself, as a rule, is forced to maneuver, cunning and adapt to the conflicting requirements of adults, and, as a result, negative signs of the development of the child's personality appear: a negative emotional state that the child experiences during pointless and random communication with close adults; insufficient formation of social attitudes as a result of the incompetent psychological and pedagogical position of parents; negative behavior of the child as a means of drawing attention to his own person; the formation of stubbornness as a negative personality trait, which is a means of manipulating parental attitudes; protest behavior as a reaction to emotional trauma; somatic ailments, depression or aggression.

Another reason for the occurrence of negative manifestations in the behavior of the child is the inattention of adults significant to the child.

(teachers and parents) to his constructive and creative needs. Psychological and pedagogical incompetence of adults today becomes a real hidden obstacle to his self-affirmation and independence, which inevitably leads to unmet social needs: the need for communication, emotional warmth, friendly contact, self-affirmation, satisfaction of cognitive needs. As a reaction to failure (in achieving the desired), a negative reaction here performs the function of compensation and a defensive reaction. It helps the child to overcome a difficult life situation for him [PS, 1996, p. 61], but reinforces the destructive experience of socialization. The question is to realize the fundamental possibilities of a child of this age (from birth to 3 years), his potential to act motivated, that is, to be aware of his involuntary impulses, desires, needs, in which adults - parents and teachers - should help him. Our observations show that when the reflexive abilities of parents and the situational reflection of teachers in understanding the child's experiences "here and now" are insufficient [Karpov, 2003, p. 51] the development of children's motivated actions is either impossible or difficult. In other words, if an adult does not try to verbalize the situational experiences (as the basis of the desires and intentions) of the child, then the child is forced to react negatively when his needs and the requirements of the adult collide, defending his true and still difficult to comprehend intentions and desires. At the same time, an adult most often does not even allow the thought that the child’s desires can be true due to his intuitive attraction to fulfill his own destiny, and the adult’s social and normative requirements in such a situation can be alien, and in some cases even harmful (despite their social normativity) for the spiritual and intellectual development of the child.

So, for example, until now, modern researchers from the standpoint of traditional pedagogy and psychology consider the actions of teachers as always unambiguously correct, which allows them to mislead the parental community that the child’s negativism supposedly must always be overcome, insistently demanding

implementation of social norms and rules of conduct. This approach, in fact, is behavioral, that is, focused only on behavioral, external reactions, without taking into account the internal mechanism of their manifestation. However, authoritarian methods of pedagogical work should not be excluded: they are appropriate, in our opinion, but only in cases where the life or health of the child is in danger. In all other cases, the child puts the adult in a creative situation, which was and is being talked about by prominent Russian psychologists: D. I. Elkonin, V. V. Davydov, N. N. Poddyakov, M. I. Lisina, V. S. Mukhina, Yu. B. Gippenreiter, A. A. Nikolskaya. An adult is required to realize his creative potential in the search for original, non-traditional ways to solve problem situations, providing, on the basis of "child-adult reciprocity", the solution of three problems:

1) ensuring social conditions for the realization of their destiny by the child;

2) accumulation of individual experience of self-creation (creative abilities) and, as a result;

3) promotion of constructive socialization of the individual.

In the traditional practice of education, only the last task is pursued, neglecting the two previous ones, which require developed creative abilities from teachers and parents.

At the same time, regardless of the causes of the child’s negative behavior, it is a signal for adults to analyze their educational influences, since, having manifested itself several times in different situations, negativism can gain a foothold and become a stable trait of the child’s character [PS, 1996, p. 61]. If the manifestations of negativism are not constructively overcome by the primary school age, then they will take an irreversible tendency of development either into auto-aggression up to suicidal attempts, or into depression up to an antisocial lifestyle as an opposition for a long absence of love for his neighbors (parents, teachers, peers) [Granovskaya, 2003, p. 358-359].

In the psychological and pedagogical literature, one can find a significant number of definitions of children's negativism, however, the diagnostic tools are rather poor, the choice of methods is small.

dik to determine the parent-child relationship, self-esteem of a young child and register an analysis of the negative manifestations of such a child.

To diagnose the causes of children's negativism, we use a set of diagnostic techniques presented in the table (Table 1).

Table 1

Diagnostic methods for the study of children's negativism

Diagnostic technique Signs that are diagnosed

Interaction of a parent with a child (M. I. Markovskaya) Identifies the style of family education of each parent

Test for determining the characteristics of behavior in conflict situations (K. Thomas) Reveals the psychological characteristics of parents and their relationships in conflict situations

Personal self-esteem method (Budassi) Identifies the features of the parent's self-esteem and, as a result of imitation of the parent, the child's self-esteem

Test for determining the type of temperament Identifies the leading type of temperament of the child

Questionnaire for monitoring the manifestation of negative reactions of the child (Table 2) Reveals the frequency of manifestation of negative reactions of the child in different regime moments

table 2

Form for monitoring the negative manifestations of the child

Regime moments The frequency of manifestation of negative reactions of the child

Calendar days of observations

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

1. Coming to the kindergarten group

2. Feeding

3. Playing with peers

4. Playing with a teacher

5. Lesson

6. Bedtime

7. Waking up from sleep

8. Leaving the kindergarten group

Thus, we can draw the following conclusions:

First, by children's negativism we understand the state of health and behavior of the child, in which he unconsciously tries to resist the directive influences of adults or peers. The reason for such opposition may be an unsatisfied need to take into account his desires and self-affirmation, to protect his Self from intrusion into the boundaries of individual claims, and adverse effects from a close adult. Signs of children's negativism, depending on the type of temperament, will be stubbornness and capriciousness.

Secondly, the reasons for the manifestation of negativism cannot be inside the child, they always appear from the outside: due to the psychological and pedagogical incompetence of the educational influences of adults responsible for the upbringing.

Thirdly, no special diagnostic tools for determining children's negativism have been found. We are developing a diagnostic set of techniques aimed at identifying signs of negativism. We believe that it is desirable to detect such signs in a timely manner - at an early age.

Sources and accepted abbreviations

1. BPS - Big psychological dictionary / comp. and general ed. B. G. Meshcheryakova, V. P. Zinchenko - St. Petersburg: EUROZNAK, 2005. -632 p.

2. NPPS - The latest psychological and pedagogical dictionary / comp. E. S. Rapatsevich; under total ed. A.P. Astakhova. - Minsk: Modern School, 2010. - 928 p.

3. NPS - The latest psychological dictionary / V. B. Shapar, V. E. Rossokha, O. V. Shapar; under total ed. V. B. Shaparya. - Rostov-on-Don: Phoenix, 2005. - 808 p.

4. PS - Psychological Dictionary / ed. V. N. Korpulin, M. N. Smirnova, N. O. Gordeeva, L. M. Balabanova; under the general editorship. Yu. L. Neimer. - Rostov-on-Don: Phoenix, 2003. - 640 p.

5. PSR - Psychological dictionary for parents / S. S. Stepanov. - Moscow: Academy, 1996. - 160 p.

6. PES - Psychological Encyclopedic Dictionary / M. I. Enike-ev - Moscow: TK Velby, Prospekt, 2006. - 560 p.

Literature

1. Anisimov V.P. Art pedagogy of morality: monograph / V.P. Anisimov. - Tver: Tver. state un-t, 2010. - 320 p.

2. Granovskaya R. M. Elements of practical psychology / R. M. Granovskaya. - St. Petersburg: Speech, 2003. - 655 p.

3. Karpov A. V. Reflexivity as a mental property and methods of its diagnostics / A. V. Karpov // Psychological journal. - 2003. - T. 24. - No. 5. - S. 45-57.

4. Markovskaya I. M. Questionnaire for studying the interaction of parents with children / I. M. Markovskaya // Family psychology and family therapy. - 1999. - No. 2. - S. 94-108.

5. Shavyrina A. Why is the child stubborn? / A. Shavyrina // Preschool education. - 2010. - No. 9. - S. 103-107.

© Kleynikova T. P., 2013

Children's Negativism:

Signs and Causes of Its Manifestation

The article addresses the children "s negativism problem from the perspective of pedagogy, describes the signs and causes of its manifestation. The author explains how relevant it is to prevent negative manifestations in any activity already at the earliest stage of development. The complex of diagnostic methods is offered to reveal the reasons for the children's negativism.

Key words: children "s negativism; capriciousness; stubbornness; causes of negative manifestations; inconsistent style of upbringing; situational reflection; child-adult reciprocity; unmotivated behavior.

Kleynikova Tatyana Petrovna, Applicant of the Department of Preschool Pedagogy and Psychology, Tver State University (Tver), [email protected].

Kleynikova, T., degree seeker, Department of Preschool Pedagogy and Psychology, Tver State University (Tver), [email protected].

Lyubov Yashkina
Consultation for parents "Children's negativism"

Minion of the family

How to find a cure for permissiveness?

You yourself did not notice how any "Want" your child turned into an order?

Refusal to buy the twenty-fifth doll or replace lunch with candy results in a half-hour tantrum, and in the end you give up?

It's time to sound the alarm: your heir has clear signs of being spoiled! And, paradoxically, "disease" provoked by boundless parental love.

In fact, psychologists warn, upbringing without "framework" infects the child with the virus of permissiveness and turns him into a domestic tyrant.

In the end, the darling himself will begin to suffer from this, because outside the family, the little egoist will not meet the worship that he is used to seeing from household members.

On the contrary, egocentrism makes a spoiled child an outcast among peers. How to restore the balance between the need to love and the need to educate?

Experts advise to draw a line between indulging momentary whims and caring.

Tears are not a reason to panic.

Often from corrective behavioral steps parents hold back the tears of a son or daughter. Well, how to find the strength in yourself to say "no to the most beloved creature in the world?"

Failure in this case parents perceived as stress for the child. But is it really so?

Children's the psyche is quite excitable, but there is nothing unnatural in this. Tears are an expression of emotions inherent in age, which the baby has not yet learned to restrain. Helping the baby develop the right reaction to the world around him and figure out what is good and what is bad is a task parents. To do this, they themselves need to learn how to adequately respond to baby crying.

Experienced educators say: in the matter of education, endurance is first of all important. I mean, just ignore the loud roar. After all, your baby won't cry forever! Sooner or later, he will understand that with tears and shouting he will not achieve anything from you. Otherwise, the child will use hysteria as a form of manipulation of the household, and the disease of disobedience will go into a chronic stage.

And one more important point! If you once told your child a firm "No"(for example, in response to the demand to watch a cartoon instead of daytime sleep, in no case cancel your decision (and do not let anyone close to you do it! Otherwise, the child will never perceive your words seriously: well, think about it - mom forbade it! I will shout - and dad will allow! Under no circumstances should this be allowed.

Remember: in the family the main ones - parents and their word is law. And the child must also learn this.

Seven nannies have a child without brakes.

Alas, the luxury of living apart from parents not every young family can afford.

However, even if you have your own living space, it is not so easy to get rid of the influence of grandparents.

On the one hand, there is no doubt, it is wonderful when a mother, who is still learning the basics of pedagogy, has experienced advisers.

On the other hand, the inconsistency of the educational positions of two generations is fraught with the collapse of any attempt to instill in the child the concept of certain measures of behavior.

For a month you have been struggling with the demand of the child to enjoy dessert before soup, and the compassionate grandmother, having treated "hungry baby" chocolate before dinner, nullifies your efforts.

Feeling the patronage of older family members, the baby will quickly figure out who to seek protection from "bad" mom and dad.

Of course, discussing educational methods with all-knowing grandparents is an unpleasant occupation. However, parents need to be firm.

Ultimately, it is you who are responsible for your heir.

To avoid the situation "swan, crayfish and pike", it would not hurt all educators to gather at a round table and discuss pedagogical strategy and tactics. Only by agreeing among themselves, adults will be able to find a common language with the child.

Some parents, allowing the child to any whim, refer to the Japanese experience, where the word "it is forbidden" practically not used for educational purposes. However, the nuances of this "permissive" not all tactics are interpreted correctly.

In the Land of the Rising Sun, sharp turns of speech in communicating with a child and physical punishment of rascals are really taboo. However, this does not mean the absence of any education. The Japanese regulate the child's behavior by influencing his sensory perception of the surrounding reality. From the lips of the mother, grandmother, sister, the baby hears not prohibitions, but warnings: dangerous, dirty, painful, etc.

The essence of the Japanese method of education is not to mechanically put barriers in the way of children's knowledge of the outside world, but to explain the consequences of undesirable actions in an accessible way.

Of particular importance in the Japanese system of values ​​is the personal example of relatives and friends.

Looking at the mother, imitating her, the baby learns to behave with dignity. "From a young age" Japanese suggested: bad to be ashamed.

As a result, the child avoids bad deeds not out of fear of punishment, but out of fear "lose face".

Main result "upbringing in Japanese": children who grew up in greenhouse, from our point of view, conditions do not turn into spoiled monsters, but grow up as collected and disciplined people.

And one more conclusion: the Japanese see in the successors of the kind of personalities. And we often try "carve out" stenciled heirs, turning a daughter or son into their own showcase. Expensive clothes, a specialized school, a prestigious sport are the standard attributes of success, which parents trying to surround their children.

But let's not forget that love and attention, which our children need much more urgently, have no material equivalent.

Crisis of three years: favorite word - "No"!

How to deal with childish negativism

Our son will be 4 years old next month. Vanya is a real ball of stubbornness and contradictions. For example, he speaks: "No New Year". I told him I answer: "Why Will!" AND starts: “It won’t, it won’t., and so twenty times with tears and cries. Moreover, our grandmother, unable to withstand the tantrums of her grandson, "for rent": "Well, it won't, it won't". We are, parents, we cannot and do not want to agree that white is black. In general, over the past year, Vanya has become very stubborn. He does not recognize any authority. In the kindergarten, the teachers complain that he does not want anything do: does not want to sculpt - does not sculpt, does not feel like drawing - does not draw, does not dress himself - and he is often not taken for a walk. I'm in horror: what should I do?

The age of the child and the description of his behavior suggest that we are talking about the manifestation "crisis of three years"(Of course, this is conditional. Name: like all age-related crises, its timing may vary depending on the individual characteristics of the person).

So-called "stage negativism» , which the child has now entered, is one of the stages of FORMATION OF HIS PERSONALITY. At this stage of development, it seems to the child that the negation of every word of an adult is a manifestation of independence. Judge themselves: mom and dad always decide everything for the little man, but one day the moment comes when he really wants to express his own opinion. And the easiest and most obvious way to do this is to start denying everything that adults impose.

We cannot and do not want to agree that white is black. In fact, your child knows perfectly well that white is white, but now he needs to defend the right to his opinion, even if it is erroneous.

You're wasting time on a hundred times repetition "Yes Yes Yes." in response to his "no no no." as if the real course of events depends on the words of the child. The impression is that parents as well, as well as to the son, the reality, and the statement of OWN opinion is important not. And this means that the child imposed his form of behavior on you, began to control you.

Without knowing it, you have entered into a meaningless game called "Who will overrule whom". However, not only you, but most parents faced with the first manifestation of their child's own "I", fall into a stupor and do not know what to do with it. And the way out of the situation is banal simple: must PLAY!

Make a word "No" entertainment - so it loses its danger. For example, ask son: "Do you want to go for a walk?" and, without letting him answer, immediately grimace a little yourself, making a funny face: "No no no!". The kid will laugh, and the word "No" from "terrible weapon" turns into fun.

Or, for example, play a game "All the way around": with a serious look, interpret the child that he does not want cutlets at all, the new year will not come, and the grass is not green at all. The little stubborn one will immediately begin to convince you of the opposite!

But there is one thing here: in really important matters relating to the safety of the baby, you need to be firm.

And finally, the most important thing. You must understand: just as an athlete trains for important competitions, so a person must train to become a person. And if you treat the first crisis of your child's self-consciousness with prudence and a share of humor, then you will never find yourself on opposite sides with him. "barricade" erected by his maturing consciousness.